St. George Trip + Weekend

This weekend, Dan's work had a retreat in St. George. 

They have one every year just over a couple of days, and this was the first one for us!

We have been looking forward to it for a couple months now, anxiously awaiting the arrival of June.

It also happened to coincide with the weekend that Dan's cousin, Aiko and her husband Todd were baptizing their little baby girl.

It was a little too perfect, as we would come to find out, to be able to do all of it in one weekend.

But we thought it was great timing and why not do it all!

It was also the same weekend as the ward party, and I was a little bummed to be missing that.

Awesome barbecue and homemade ice cream?

Who wouldn't want to miss that!

I had it all planned out.

Work half day on Thursday and take Friday off; we'd be back by Sunday night so I could work on Monday. 

But as all well-laid plans go, you know exactly where it went.

Also, I got this crazy idea bouncing around in my head to chop my hair off.

So I had to find time to squeeze that in before we left.

More on that in a bit. 

Oh, and I got invited to play Bunco with some friends on Wednesday night!

The weekend was approaching and I was getting everything ready to go.

I made a packing list on Tuesday, started laundry on Wednesday afternoon, and got all packed up Wednesday night. 

I tried really really REALLY hard not to over-pack.

But of course I still did, packing almost double the amount of clothes I actually needed.

What's a girl to do.

Also I found these super cute shorts at Kohl's after work on Wednesday, and grabbed a couple of pairs.

Hopefully, enough to last me through the summer. 

I was debating the entire way home from Kohl's about not going to Bunco.

I just didn't feel like I had time to do all of it.

Thankfully, Dan told me to go!

I had such a blast with Char Larsen, Amy Smith, and Liz Palmer.

I also found out that Bunco was not as exclusive of a club as I thought!

It felt like half our ward was there playing, but of course only fun ladies.

It was so nice to get out of the house for a few hours and enjoy good company and way too many laughs.

At the end of the night, we all got a prize.

Amber (Char's daughter) made a holder for the hanging flower baskets.

It is so cute and I can't wait to hang something in it. 

I even branched out and got a light purple color (it's chalk paint called Bastille).

We sat outside Amber's house and ended up laughing hysterically for a good 30 minutes about random things.

Bottom line: Liz is hilarious when she gets hyper.

Love that girl to death.

So back to the hair chopping incident.

Monday-ish, I started itching to chop my hair.

I had honestly been thinking about it since I last got my hair done, about a month ago, but starting Monday I couldn't get the thought out of my head.

I talked to Dan, got gutsy, and called the girl who does my hair.

She's amazing, let me tell you!

Not only is she just straight awesome and hilarious, but she also squeezed me in to chop my hair before we left for St. George!

I went over right before we left, and off the hair went!

And this was the final product.

It's still a little crazy that I actually cut it.

I still have minor anxiety when I wash it or style it because it's gone!

But so far, I love it.

It's liberating.

I highly recommend it. 

So off we went to St. George, short hair, car packed, and ready for a relaxing weekend!

About 30 minutes south of Nephi, there are quite a few hills that are a little difficult to climb going 80mph on a 4 cylinder engine. 

Climbing one of these hills, the A/C went out.

Mind you, it's about 100 degrees outside.

We drove another hour to Beaver, with the windows down, and pulled off the freeway, hoping to get the Freon topped off and be back on our way.

Getting off the freeway, we started to hear this horrible rattling noise.

We got to a mechanic, and found out the pulley on the air compressor had broken and the compressor was hanging.

Sucky.

After about 15 minutes trying to decide what to do, we figured we better just drive home.

I suddenly got a horrible, horrible feeling and heavy weight on my chest.

I started tearing up and told Dan there is no way we can drive home.

We wouldn't make it.

The soonest they could get the part to fix it would be Friday.

We had no way to get to St. George, and no way to get home.

Thankfully, and by no small miracle, the mechanic who owned the shop said he had a van that we could borrow for the weekend.

It seriously was so incredibly generous of him, and probably saved our weekend.

It was an old 92 Dodge Conversion van, the kind that has curtains on the windows, and the back bench folds down into a bed.

Yeah.

But it ran, and had A/C, and got us to St. George and back home safely!

This was driving home.

I was not nearly as excited about driving it down to St. George as I was to be going home.

We finally made it to St. George and made it to the restaurant, surprisingly only 30 minutes late!

The food at the restaurant was pretty delicious.

We went to the Cliffside Inn for dinner.

It has a gorgeous view overlooking St. George.

And I forgot to take a picture.

I was a little too distracted with my own crap on Thursday to really relax and enjoy the time with Dan's co-workers.

Something that I didn't really appreciate until we were leaving to come back home, Dan's co-workers were all genuinely concerned about us.

Dan's boss, James, is an all around stand up guy.

He was trying to find us a ride from Beaver to St. George, sent out a mass text seeing if anyone could pick us up, and even offered to pay for a rental so we could still come this weekend.

Stand up guy.

I'm feeling so incredibly blessed for the company Dan works for and the people he is privileged to associate with and work beside.

James said something to me within 5 minutes of being at the restaurant that initially bothered me, but then I came to appreciate it.

He told me to not worry about the car, and to just relax and enjoy the weekend.

At first, I was a little bugged.

Of course I'm going to worry about my car!

It's going to put me out quite a few bones, but okay I'll try to enjoy my weekend.

After dinner, we ran back to the hotel, checked in and dropped off our bags.

We hopped in the car with Bryce and Megan Cranney, and off we went to Tuacahn for Beauty and the Beast.

Tuacahn is gorgeous, and so perfectly tucked into the rocks.

It was so hot in St. George that it was actually quite nice to get a little breeze blowing through the canyon, even if it did feel like a blow dryer on your face!

The show was awesome, and then I realized I had seen it before when Rylee was in high school.

I didn't realize it till the very end when Chip runs out as a little boy, and then I remembered Ethan played that little boy!

At intermission, we had to get some water, and Dan indulged in some frozen lemonade.

Anything to stay awake--it really stinks getting old and you want to go to bed early!

The show ended around 11:30, and we headed straight to bed.

The next morning, I slept in till probably 8:45.

Dan was kind enough to bring me breakfast, and even had an old fashioned cake donut!

My absolute favorite!!

We hurried to get dressed and head out to Sand Hollow for a day of fun playing on the lake and riding quads.

My entire goal for the trip was not to get sunburned.

I bought SPF 50 sunscreen just for that purpose.

I applied generously a couple times throughout the day, and laid out to enjoy the warm sunshine.

The boys played ultimate frisbee with a football, and the girls laid out by the shore.

I talked with Thea, James' wife for a little while.

She is such a hilarious and genuine person, and I instantly felt comfortable around her, and all the other wives too.

Now, I generously applied the sunscreen to my shoulders/back/face.

I neglected my legs.

They never burn, so I figured a little SPF 4 would suffice.

WRONG.

This wasn't even that bad.

It turned almost purple in some spots, but thankfully is getting better.

We went over to the cliffs to go cliff jumping.

Dan was super bummed he couldn't do it, since he'd strained his groin earlier that week playing softball.

He tried swimming earlier, and said one kick and it was painful.

But I jumped.

It was probably 20-25 ft high.

It was so intense and scary at first!

I don't know how I used to jump off the cliffs at Fry Mesa, but I did it!

It was so thrilling, and the water was so refreshing. 

Even Clint (who apparently is super afraid of heights) ended up jumping off the cliff.

We headed back home, and Dan and I ran to grab some food at Smashburger.

We weren't going to dinner till 7, and I needed some lunch pronto or else I would be so sick from being in the sun all day.

We saw Megan and Bryce there, and Megan asked if I wanted to go get a pedicure with her before dinner.

I'm always down for a good pedicure!

We got back to the hotel and I hurried to shower and get ready.

A bunch of us girls met in the lobby and even Berlin (one of Dan's coworker's daughter) came with us.

She was darling and so fun to have come with all the girls!

Off we went in the "shaggin wagon" to get our toes painted.

We met all the boys at dinner at Anasazi steakhouse.

Their big claim to fame is that you can cook your own food right in front of you on a hot stone.

They put these stones in the kiln and heat them for 10 hours till their 700 degrees and then they bring your meat out to you seared and you cook it to your liking.

It was an interesting and entertaining dinner.

We sat with James/Thea, Ryan/Amanda, and Grant/Tara.

It was a super fun table to be at.

James asked how we met, and I made Dan tell the WHOLE story, including the bumps.

It was super funny and everyone was laughing.

We finished up with dessert at Nielson's Frozen Custard.

Super yummy!!
I got chocolate chip cookie dough, but couldn't finish it was so rich and delicious.

We ended the evening by going back to the hotel and playing a game.
It was supposed to be a newlywed game, but one of the other "new" couples had to leave right after dinner to head back home.
So instead, we played a different game that Ryan and Amanda had.
We had to go into a dimly lit room individually.
I had a disclaimer when I walked in that I may or may not say bad words.
Ryan walked right up to you and said "Welcome to Brandmakers. If you want to be part of the team, you must perform until we applaud."
What. The. Hell.
Then Ammon started playing the music to Pharrell's "Happy."
I was so ticked, and tired, and seriously did not want to dance in front of all these people.
Everyone started copying me, whenever I would move or say something.
It honestly got irritating.
I finally just walked right out.
Amanda chased after me, and explained that since they were copying me, I just had to clap!
I felt a little silly for being so dramatic and walking out, but I really was so tired from being outside all day long.
Heat takes a toll on your patience...or at least mine.
Everyone eventually came into the room.
Some people had some sweet dance moves (James did double cartwheels, Thea stood on her head, and Megan busted out moves so awesome that we all just started clapping because we couldn't copy her!).
And let's not forget the full moon provided so kindly by Clint.
Yikes.
We all had a good laugh, and then headed off to bed.

Saturday morning, we slept in again.
There's something rejuvenating about not waking up at the butt crack of dawn every day.
We had breakfast, and got packed up.
James dropped by and handed Dan an envelope with some cash in it to help with the car repair.
I cried.
I have felt so incredibly blessed through this whole experience, despite the fact that we couldn't be in Arizona for Father's day and missed Aiko's daughter's baptism.
We have little miracles like this and I feel so blessed that Dan works with the company and the people he does.
They genuinely care about him and want him to stay with them for the long haul.
It's amazing.

We headed out in the shaggin wagon and made it home safely, and with an uneventful journey.
I couldn't wait to pick up our Ruby girl!
I miss her sweet face.
We dropped off all our stuff at home and picked up Ruby girl, and promptly gave her a bath.
Outside dogs STINK!
We went to the Ward Summer BBQ Party, which is always fun and full of delicious food!
I got to hold Liz's sweet little guy, and he fell right to sleep on my shoulder.
Ugh, those moments are my favorite and I can't wait to have one of our own to snuggle to sleep.

We topped off the evening watching Jurassic World.
So. Good.
It was epic.
And then of course I had to watch Jurassic Park on Sunday just to recap.
It was the perfect end to what started out horrible, and ended up being a fantastic weekend.

Ruby girl turns 1!

My Ruby girl turned one at the beginning of May!

My puppy is no longer a puppy.

Psh...who am I kidding, of course she still is!

To celebrate, we made hamburgers for dinner and made a mini-cheeseburger for her.
Dan and I even sang Happy Birthday to her.
She just looked at us with her head cocked to the side, probably thinking we're a bunch of crazies and to just give her the dang burger already.
It was so anticlimactic.
I honestly was a little disappointed.
She practically swallowed the patty whole!
We looked at each other, exchanging the "well that was real exciting" glance.
And then it was over.
We didn't do presents or even get a birthday hat for her.
I knew she wouldn't sit still long enough to get a picture in the hat, so I bagged the whole thing.
We did end up giving her another mini-cheeseburger, in pieces this time so it hopefully digested a little better.

We did try to take a family selfie.
Here's how well that turned out.

Turns out its a wee bit difficult to get a puppy to focus on the camera.

Dan and I sat down later and poured through our phones (okay mostly my phone) looking at all the pictures we have of her from this first year.
I knew the instant I started taking pictures of her that people would laugh at me.
She is a dog after all.
But there is something to be said for getting a dog before you have children.
The dog becomes your child.
And in retrospect, I wouldn't take back any of those pictures, because I can look at each one and smile.

Miss Ruby may very well have been the one of the best decision we've made thus far in our marriage.
She's teaching us to be better parents, and especially about patience and problem solving.
Hopefully some of what we've learned will translate into parenting our own children some day.

Some of the highlights:
1. She was obsessed with biting at my ankles for the first few weeks after we got her.
I was CONVINCED she hated me, or was racist, because she never did that to Dan.

2. Potty training in the middle of the night.
Good  hell...I am so grateful we got her when we did, and that it was summer and I was only working two days a week.
I got so little sleep that first week because I was waking up every 2 hours to take her out potty.
Thankfully, it was worth it and we had her potty trained by the end of the first two weeks, and down to only one potty break at 3 am.

3. Falling asleep literally everywhere, in every position.
She initially would fall asleep on her back, which I thought was the weirdest thing ever.
Eventually she started curling up in a ball, and will occasionally stretch out on her belly with her legs outstretched.

4. We moved her from her small kennel to a big one way too soon.
Huge mistake.
She's never slept in a kennel since, but has taken to her dog bed quite nicely.
And then around 6 months old, she decided she needed to sleep in our bed from 3:30 am till we got up at 6.
We've tried to break it, but now we're to the point where I'm so tired that I don't even care if she gets in the bed or not.
Dan swears with our next dog, they will be sleeping outside to avoid the above problem.

5. She always wants to be with us, and be close to us.
Literally.
If you move and she is snuggling next to you, she will get up and move closer, sitting on top of you to be close to you.

I love that she always wants to be with us.
It's only frustrating when she's whining because she knows we're leaving...even when we're taking her with us!

6. It's one of my favorite things to watch her track birds, especially when we're on walks.
She's done this since she was tiny little.
It's hilarious because we'll be on a walk around the neighborhood and she will stop dead in her tracks to stare down the birds.

We've been so blessed to have this beautiful little lady in our lives.
I can't even begin to picture my life without her.
Happy first birthday Ruby girl!

Deutschland

About a month ago, I left the precious American soil for the Fatherland.

It was awesome, stressful, and very worthwhile.

We went with Dan's parents, which I was initially a little apprehensive about.
I mean, traveling with anyone other than your spouse (and even them sometimes) can be emotionally taxing.
However, it ended up being a good thing...thank goodness!

This trip has been probably 4 months in the making.
We had talked about it so much that I honestly thought it wouldn't happen.
Jami and I talked about it to death.
It was like beating a dead horse.
So many flight options, and figure out dates to leave...I honestly had decided I didn't want to go.
It was way too much of a headache, and it's a lot of cash money to fly across the pond.
At one point, I told Dan he could just go and I would stay home.
He did not like that option one bit.

Then one day, his parents called and told us they bought the tickets and we were leaving this date at this time from this airport.
Well okay then...I guess this is actually happening.

Getting packed and ready for the trip was a nightmare.
Making sure we had the right converter for our appliances (which ended up singing my hair...more on that later), getting travel size shampoo, all the toiletries, etc.
This was significantly more stressful because it's not like I could just run to the corner Walgreens if we forgot something.
Talk about stress.

The day finally came that we were loading up and driving to Arizona.
We were flying out of Sky Harbor, plus leaving Ruby with my parents while we were gone.
When my Dad dropped us of at the airport, I may have started completely panicking.
It took a lot out of me to not run after the car as my Dad drove away.
And I may or may not have teared up in the airport before we even checked in with the airlines.

We got through security and all that fun stuff and got on the plane.
I still wasn't super stressed because this flight was going to Georgia.
And here's a happy selfie for you...because I really was pretty excited to leap across the pond.

On the flight to Georgia, I started reading a book which definitely helped pass the time.
I also watched the sunlight slowly disappear.

Jami had told us to bring our own water bottles because water is not free in Europe.
So we packed our good Contigo bottles.
Dan wanted a drink after take off, and I had completely forgotten about the pressure change.
So when he opened his bottle, water shot across the plane two rows up and hit some people.
It was the funniest/most embarrassing thing.
Thankfully, the people weren't mad, but it was hilarious!

We landed in Atlanta, and had to quickly make our way across the airport, take the right shuttle and make our connecting flight to Amsterdam.
Getting on that flight proved a little more difficult.
At this point, I decided I would rather pay the extra $30 for an international plan for Dan's phone than be caught without it in an foreign country.
Thank goodness for that!
We quickly added that on, and then off we flew to Amsterdam.

The KLM flight was pretty good, as far as long flights are concerned.
I had an endless selection of movies to watch, and they had a map where you could look and see where we were during the flight.
That was actually pretty cool to watch us fly up the Atlantic coast and then cross the ocean over to Ireland.
All the instructions were given in Dutch and then English.
That was a little...interesting.

And let's just go right into the food.
If I never see airplane food again, it will be too soon.
It was not bad at all.
Actually as far as airplane food goes, it was pretty good.
But man does that stuff just make you feel sick to your stomach!
Thankfully, we were hungry enough that we just ate it, but it was rough a few hours later.

When we finally hit daylight again, we were flying over Ireland and then England.
I was so excited just to see land, but it was also beautiful to see the countryside from the air.

Next we saw England from the air.
It's all very exciting, but really seeing land after only seeing vast expanse of ocean is quite exciting.
And please excuse the dirty airplane windows.
This is the closest I've ever been to Europe, and I was pretty excited.

Then we flew into Amsterdam.
Side note: the original flight plans we looked at included an 8 hour layover in Amsterdam.
I had great plans to go to the Van Gogh museum (he's seriously my favorite), and the Anne Frank house.
Sadly, for this trip we only had a 4 hour layover, which was not worth the hassle to try to venture out and come back through customs.
So here is Amsterdam from the air, and that will have to be enough for now.

As I mentioned above, we had a 4 hour layover in Amsterdam.
We had to go through customs at the airport.
That was a little different.
The customs agent had the most scrutinizing look on his face.
It was a little intimidating to say the least.
But I got a stamp on my passport!!

We got to our gate and waited the long four hours, fighting sleep in the middle of the airport.
Well, some of us were fighting sleep.

We finally got on our plane to Nuremberg, which was thankfully only an hour flight.
On that flight, the snacks were HORRIBLE.
Seriously horrible.
But I did get to sit in the emergency exit row, next to Dan.
So that was nice.
And we also saw a road (it seemed like a small highway) that went under the river!

When we arrived in Nuremberg, we got all our luggage and went outside to get on the U-bahn U2 train to connect with the Haupfbahnhof (which is the main train system in Germany).
That was a struggle.
We could not figure out the silly machine to buy the tickets.
Thankfully, a super nice man and his wife helped us get the tickets, and stayed with us until we got into Nuremberg.
Then they helped us get our tickets to get from Nuremberg to Vilseck.

We sat at the Nuremberg train station for an hour because we had barely missed the first train that goes to Vilseck.
So naturally we took a selfie.

This is the "I'm so bloody tired and desperately want to sleep and go home to America" face.
Pretty convincing, yes?

So we waited for the second train to come.
And we almost missed it.
Jami had told me that the trains run on time, to the minute.
Well, there was 2 trains in the station at the same time, only we didn't realize that.
Thankfully, the conductor must have seen our confused faces and helped us out.
That would have seriously sucked to miss that train.
By the end of the week, I was an expert at the train! (As long as I had the schedule.)

I was so stressed at this point.
Everyone was speaking German around me, and German is not pretty.
It sounds horrible actually, and super threatening.
Not to mention being in a foreign country, but add the language on top of it.
I also started to get sick on the train.

I usually do pretty well not getting motion sickness, but it was dark so I couldn't focus on anything except the swaying of the train.
It was all I could do to not throw up.
After an hour train ride, we made it to Vilseck.
Jami was waiting for us.
I've never been so excited to see a familiar face!

She drove us to our hotel, and I seriously thought I was going to get lost trying to find anything in the town.
Thankfully, we would come to find out that Vilseck is pretty small and fairly easy to walk around and find your way.

The hotel was so cute, and the staff was incredibly nice!
We ate some goulash and a dinner roll, and it might have been the best meal I had ever had.
We hauled all our luggage up three flights of stairs to our room.
Jami gave us a few tips (like the doors automatically lock, so always have your key; and the windows can swing open or tip open from the top, which is a brilliant idea!) and then said goodbye.
She would pick Dan and I up in the morning to take us to the train station to go to Rothenburg.

We unpacked, and I totally freaked out.
I was balling in the bathroom for a good five minutes.
I instantly missed America, my home, and my family.
I just wanted to go back.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who was patient with me during my minor panic from culture shock.
I just needed sleep.
It was only a week.
6 short days and I would be heading back home, probably wishing we could stay longer.
I could do it.

Plus, with this cute guy by my side, I can do anything.

Day 2: Rothenburg ob der Tauber

NCLEX

First things first: I could NEVER ever ever EVER have done this without these two.

The devil takes physical form in a test known as the NCLEX.

Those five innocent letters put together equal the most terrifying and horrific test to culminate my nursing career.

Let's preface this by saying I am the world's greatest procrastinator.

If there was a medal for it, I would win.
Not even kidding.

I had a great plan for passing said test.
I gave myself a two week break after school (Christmas break and all).
We were traveling to AZ for a few days over New Years anyway, so I figured it was a good time to take a break.
Then, we totaled our car driving to AZ.
Another story for another day.

When we got back from our adventure, I had every intention of studying!
The thing is, I seriously could not make myself care for the life of me.
To add insult to injury, I was already working full time and trying to adjust to life post-graduation.
Honestly, I was probably a little depressed.
It's a hard transition going from having a million things to do all the time to just working and studying for this heinous test.

I had to wait for my authorization to test, and that wouldn't happen until after my degree had been posted.
Degree posted on January 6.
I got online and filled out the application with DOPL.
I drove up one morning in the week following the degree posting to get my fingerprints done.
One of the nastiest mornings to drive all the way up to SLC.
All the rain made for an interesting drive up.
I turned in my application, got my fingerprints done, and paid the $100 application fee.
I was told it could take up to a week before getting my authorization to test.

Drove back and went to work.
I set up my account with Pearson View as well.
That was a little nerve-racking.
Then my ATT came in through my email.
Two days after submitting my application.
I died.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was the real deal.
I had 30 days to take my exam (by February 13).

Somehow, I mustered the courage to sign up for my exam.
I initially set it up for 2.2.15, which was a Monday.
After thinking about it more, I changed it to that Thursday, 2.5.15.

Paying the $200 to Pearson View and hitting submit nearly killed me.
Everyone at work was laughing at me.
I was pretty determined not to let anyone know when I was taking my test.
I don't think I could have handled it if I didn't pass and everyone was asking me about it.
The only people that knew besides my family were Amanda, Brenna, and Laura, the other nurses I work with.
I think I finally caved and told Dr. Garry and Scott, with strict instructions that they were not allowed to ask about the test the day after.
Thankfully, they listened.

I was okay at doing practice questions.
Okay I was horrible at it.
If I did one chapter a day, I was feeling pretty good!
Nothing that I felt would be enough to pass, but I was trying.

I remembered Renea telling us to study, pray, and then get a blessing.
I also had a thought to go to the temple.
I have been absolutely horrible about making the time to go this last year.
I've had every excuse in the book, and it's really pathetic that I'm surrounded by temples but can't make the time to go.
Well, we made the time to go.
And Satan put in overtime to make sure that didn't happen.

We went about two weeks before my test, and it took everything in me to get through the front doors.
It felt like I was pushing through a sea of something and everything was pulling me back.
Spiritually, I was fighting to get through those doors.
It was incredible the instant relief I felt as soon as I crossed that threshold.
It brought me to tears right there in the lobby of the temple.
I felt so lost and in such dire need of help that it was everything I could do to keep it together.
I remember telling Dan how afraid I was that I wouldn't pass.
I wasn't studying enough.
I knew that.
But I also knew that I was smart.
I could do this.

The next weekend, the weekend before my exam, we also went to the temple.
It was in this experience I had the feeling of calm and peace come over me.
It wasn't exactly comforting.
It was a peace that whatever happens, it will all be okay.
Not exactly reassuring, but it was all I had.

The week of the test, I didn't do a single question.
I did look at Renea's lecture notes and test taking strategies.
Those were INSANELY helpful!

The morning of my test, I got a blessing from my wonderful husband.
I don't remember much of what was said.
The only thing that sticks out about it was one phrase.
"Let your faith be greater than your fear"

I recalled this phrase many times throughout the rest of Thursday morning.
I headed out the door, put the address in my GPS.
It said it would take me an hour to get there!
I totally started freaking out.
I could not for the life of me figure out why it would take an hour to get to Draper.
I remembered that phrase again.
I turned on my location, and that time was cut in half.
I would make it just in time for the test at 8am.
Faith greater than fear.

My stomach ended up with a lead weight in it at some point on that drive.
Walking in to the building, I felt like I was signing my life away.
It was all on the line.
Right here.
Right now.
The culmination of my entire education reduced to one test.

As I was checking in, the guy asked me how I was doing.
"Okay."
It was honest.
I wasn't good, or great, or even remotely happy for that matter.
This all just needed to be over and done with so I didn't have to think about it.

I was escorted back to my cubicle to take my test.
I turned off the question counter.
I did not want to know where I was at.
I also didn't want to start freaking out if the test didn't shut off after 75 questions.
At this point, I just had to have faith that my education had prepared me.
That I was ready for this test.
That Heavenly Father would pull through for me.

The last time I checked the question counter was question #67.
I answered the question in front of me and had a thought that I would check where I was at after this  questions.
I answered it, clicked next, and my test shut off.
I totally jumped in my seat.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was over.
I had no idea how many questions I had answered.
I raised my hand and the proctor came and got me from my seat.
I signed out and left.
It was over.
All that stress for an hour and a half test.

I drove home, met Dan for late breakfast at Ihop, and decided that I should probably go to work.
I didn't want to be bored at home.
Dan had class.
Might as well go to work and make some money.

Amanda started checking that night to see if I had passed my NCLEX.
She would check DOPL to see if my license had been posted.
Scott started checking too.
I was determined not to look until Monday at least.

The weekend came and went.
Monday morning, I checked DOPL right when I woke up (5am).
License status: ACTIVE.
I shot straight up out of bed and kept saying "I passed! I passed!"

A few weeks later, I got my license in the mail.
It's pretty legit.
And now, I can officially say I'm a nurse.
Arielle, RN.
Hell yes.

Christmas 2014

This year was an all-out boycott against Christmas.

Really, I've never felt more like a Scrooge in my entire life.

It was all for good reason you see.

We're making a trip in March to see my most favoritest nephew ever get baptized.

After much discussion and deliberation (flights ain't cheap!), we decided to forego Christmas this year.

We didn't even put up the tree.

This part was pretty unfortunate in retrospect.

I think it would have felt a lot more like Christmas had the tree been up.

But I just didn't trust that this little lady would leave the tree alone.

The absolute LAST thing I wanted to deal with was a destroyed Christmas tree among other things.

Also, starting a new job + finishing school doesn't lend itself well to preparing for Christmas.

Honestly, it was a minor miracle that I even sent out Christmas cards.

Trying to figure out what to get Dan just about sent me over the edge.
All these things combined led to the decision to boycott Christmas this year.
At least the presents aspect of it.

It was one of the most low-key and relaxed Christmases I have ever had, and probably will ever have in my life.
Aside from wishing I had put the tree up, I don't regret for a second the decision to boycott presents.
There was no stress as far as trying to get presents for Dan.
No anxiety the night before over said presents.
I was actually able to sleep the night before.
Minor miracle.

The only real stress was sending out Christmas cards, and Christmas goodies.
And making sure I didn't forget anyone.
In case I forgot you:
Merry Christmas!

This year for our neighbors Dan wanted to make homemade peach jam and Hawaiian sweet bread.
Since Dan was working like a fiend right before Christmas (all those good sales on cars are difficult to pass up!), it was left up to me to make the bread.
I have never made this bread before in my life.
Dan's dad makes it perfectly!
Needless to say, I had a pretty high standard to live up to.
Thankfully, everything turned out just fine.
Total bragging, but I received several compliments on that bread.

My sister had her baby two days before Christmas, so my family was here.
We went to my grandparents, opened a few family presents, and just relaxed.

The low "key-ness" actually gave me an opportunity to reflect on the most important things at Christmas.
Family. Faith. Friends.
The presents are nice.
The tree is nice.
But it's not important.
I looked at my little nativity sitting in the window many many times through December.
I actually never took it down from last year.
It helped me remember that Christmas is about Christ, and the ones we love most.
I count myself blessed to have my little Ruby and my sweet Dan to hold each night.

Night Shift Diaries: Final Installment

I finished my final capstone shift a few weeks ago at UVRMC. I must say, it was a little more difficult than I thought it would be to finish. 

I've grown so much through this experience, and discovered that what I am really capable of. 

I've learned to be fiercely independent in caring for my patients. 

I've also learned that it's perfectly okay to ask for help. 

I have learned that having a good group of people that you work with can make any night pretty fantastic, despite the patient load or the "crankiness" of those patients. 

I built friendships and relationships that I hope to keep for quite some time. 

I found that I secretly (or not so secretly) love working night shift.

A few highlights from my last night shift as a nursing student:

-Addictions

Myles is an addict going through withdrawal.

Actually, he's an addict to students who do all his work.

On my last shift, he mentioned it was good that he had worked the day before too, because then he could go through withdrawal and get one last hit before I was really done.

He was complaining that he was going through withdrawal and actually had to do his own work.

Of course, he was kidding.

But it made me feel pretty good to know I had actually been helpful and not a drag.

Since finishing, I have visited a few times. 

Each time, Myles reminds me that he misses my help.

We've decided we make an excellent team and could handle anything.

-Laughing

The 6th floor is a great place to laugh about balls and weenies.

Meat balls, that is.

And the little sausage weenies in barbecue sauce.

Generally, the 6th floor is a great place to laugh hysterically about anything.

-Polygamy

We had a polygamist patient on the floor.

Myles said he might ask me to be his wife.

I replied that IF he asked me that, I would punch him in the balls.

-Excellent work ethic

On my last shift, Myles and I split up the work to divide and conquer.

I complimented (very sarcastically) his excellent work ethic.

He helped get all of our stuff done before I left.

His reasoning: he has to get used to doing all his own work again.

-Homemade brownies

I seriously would bring brownies at least every other week.

It's nice to have a little treat to help you make it through the evening.

Everyone loves them.

It's nothing crazy. Just a fudge brownie and a dark chocolate brownie mixed together.

Myles was eating one of said brownies.

Then he made a smart ass comment to Mycami, and started choking.

We couldn't help but laugh.

That's what you get.

-Your mom jokes.

Traci came into the break room while we were eating lunch and had to share the following two jokes.

Admittedly, they were stupid.

And that's why it was so funny.

Joke #1: Your mom's so dumb she bought tickets to Xbox live.

Joke #2: Your mom's so ugly she went to a One direction concert and they ran the other direction.

-Last highlight of the evening: I started an IV on Myles!

Success. I've still got it.

Guess it wasn't too painful after all.

And so ends my night shift career (for now) on the 6th floor at UVRMC.

It's been real.

And I really loved each moment of it.

How could you not with so many awesome people to work with?

I can't wait to go back.

Night Shift Diaries: Installment 2

This morning I finished my first 3 in a row.

Let's just say I slept from 7 till 3 today after I got home.

It was totally wicked.

I finally feel like I'm getting it.

The confidence thing is getting better and better.

I can do an assessment and chart it without much difficulty.

I took 3 patients on my own this week, and then helped with the other patients as well.

I actually feel like I'm making progress and one day I'll actually be able to take 6 patients. 

It's a great feeling.

I got home on Tuesday morning and threw my scrubs in the washer.

I took a nap, switched the wash, and got ready for work.

I went to work, and then came home to get ready for clinical.

HUGE problem: my white scrub top was dirty.

AFTER being washed.

The sleeves have a weird grey hue to them and the whole shirt has weird spots on it.

What gives!

So instead of getting the brownies finished, I had to leave early to go buy a new scrub top.

Sucked. I had to bring brownies because Myles and I lost a bet.

You see on Monday night, we were watching Love it or List it while eating lunch.

We bet with Bruce (the pct) that they would love the house. He thought they would list it.

Loser brought dessert. 

Myles and I lost. They listed the house.

Anyway, so I left the brownies at home.

Dan so sweetly and lovingly brought them to me at the hospital around 9.

It was so nice to see him for a few minutes.

We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like because I'm doing nights. 

It's all in the little things for us these days.

And the brownies were a huge hit!

The second highlight of the evening was not a pretty one.

I have smelled some pretty awful things in the last 3 years of nursing school.

Truly.

I know everyone who works in health care has inadvertently smelled some pretty terrible things.

But never have I ever actually started to heave because of a smell.

I've come close, but have always been able to pull myself together and soldier on.

Last night, it happened.

I started gagging and heaving at a smell.

Myles had warned me about it, but I figured it's just like the other smells.

You just don't breathe through your nose and really just don't breathe at all if you can help it.

It didn't work.

Oh heavenly days I was so glad that no one could see me and that any inflection in my voice didn't change.

I walked right back out, with a good excuse of needing to get some clorox wipes.

It was the strangest feeling!

My eyes were watering and I could feel my blood pressure dropping.

Seriously, I've never actually almost thrown up because of a smell.

Now I can check that off the bucket list. 

Thankfully after 5 min or so of pulling myself together, I walked right back in and finished the task.

No gagging or heaving.

I know this is totally disgusting, but it's these little gems that I want to remember.

Stinky smells are not gems per say, but it's an impactful memory for me. 

One that reminds me that I can do anything when I have the drive and motivation to get it done.

Another gem that I forgot to blog about:

A week or so ago, we had a patient that had CBI.

Unfortunately, the catheter kept clotting off so we would have to slam in 60mL of saline to try to break up the clots.

If the catheter is not super securely held, the force of pushing in the saline will pop the syringe right off.

I was helping Myles and when he started to push in the saline, I got sprayed.

No joke.

With bloody, urine saline.

Disgusting.

But seriously hilarious.

Myles felt so bad, but it was super funny.

Especially now.

Anyway, there's the funnies for the last few weeks.

On a bright note, I am more than halfway done with my clinical shifts!

10 down. 8 to go!!