Today has just been a day. One of those days. Where it just starts off all kinds of wrong right from the second you open your eyes. Those days.
I could not for the life of me fall asleep last night. Literally was awake staring at the ceiling for an hour. Then it just was not a restful sleep. I feel like I woke up without ever really getting any sleep. Strike 1.
I woke up late, and didn't have time to put on make up or do something with my hair or anything like that. I was just going to the dentist, so really no big deal. But sometimes I really would just like to get ready a little bit and feel better about myself. Strike 2.
I went to the dentist and the usual hygienist isn't there. Sad day, but no big deal. I really like my hygienist. She's awesome. Anyway, the "fill-in/substitute" hygienist was pleasant, nice, but not really the same at all. She basically pointed out everything I'm doing "wrong" in taking care of my teeth.
-I need an electric toothbrush
-I brush too hard and it's causing receding gums
-I have demineralization and need to change my toothpaste to one with fluoride and calcium (Thanks, it's been there for a while...not getting any worse)
-I need to floss every day (Don't we all...)
The list goes on...
Now let me get this out: I'm one of those people that loves the dentist. Weird I know, but I really do love that feeling of having my teeth all clean and no cavities. Well, unfortunately, I left feeling anything but happy that I went to the dentist this morning. Strike 3.
To make the rest of a long day short, I had to take ATI. I got a level 2 which on any other day I would be super happy about. For those who don't know, level 2 is likely to exceed NCLEX standards--so why not be happy about that right? For the life of me, I was ticked about it. So dumb. Strike 4.
Then I tried to go to the gym with Dan. I get through 2 different exercises and I just start bawling. Left the gym. Didn't even work up a sweat. Strike 5.
Drive home. Pissed I didn't get in any kind of a work out. Bawled even more in the car. Full on sobbing. It is really just ridiculous. Strike 6.
I've struck out like a million times today. The only thing I got right today, in my own head, was to love this wonderful man of mine. Through thick and thin, bad and good, he loves me just the same, perhaps even more. I don't even know how I got so lucky, but I did. And thank goodness for him.
He's such a fixer, and today it was super helpful. We're going to try something new with the gym thing. Monday Wednesday Friday hitting the gym in the morning. Here's to turning over a new leaf and trying something new. I have high hopes for this working, because somethings gotta give.
And here's to tomorrow being a better day than today.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
In which we compare 300 to our day
About 3 weeks ago, Dan and I were watching the movie 300. If you haven't seen it, do it. Really. I loved it. I've seen it before but I found myself drawing so many parallels to this life and this time. For those who haven't seen it, brief recap:
Sparta, King Leonidas. The Persian army is conquering and Xerxes wants Sparta to surrender. Leonidas won't have it, because Spartans don't surrender. They win or die in battle. That's it. So they go to war with the Persians and put up quite the fight. Eventually they are defeated, but every single one of the Spartans dies fighting.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way trying to idealize this movie or anything like that, but I really felt a profound epiphany after watching the movie.
King Leonidas is a fantastic and wise leader. He reminds me a lot of the leaders we have today, especially in the Church. They're so wise and so desperately want what is best for us and to help preserve us and our life.
The Persian army and Xerxes are like all the temptations and less than pleasant things in this world. It's an all out assault on our very lives to compromise the things we believe in and hold most precious to us. It's the attack on the family, and the attack on our moral values and principles. It's the fact that this world, while wonderful and so so beautiful, can be so dark and so evil. It's all of that.
I also noticed how valiant and dedicated to the cause the Spartan army was. It was victory or death, no surrender. That was it. Sometimes, I feel like in my own life I too often compromise and allow myself to surrender or fall short instead of following through with my goals. There are definitely things I don't compromise on, but for the most part I feel like I sell myself short and don't push myself to my full potential. I haven't "burned my ships" yet.
So these were my thoughts going into Church the following Sunday. It was out of the manual, lesson #5 Faith and Repentance. I came across this quote in the lesson and sent it to Dan. It seemed just too perfect to pass up because it so perfectly described how I was making the comparisons between 300 and the gospel.
"It is our duty to look after each other, to protect each other...to stand together with a united front against the sins of the world."
To bring this around so that it kind of wraps it up, I want to be more like the Spartans, with such conviction for my cause that it's victory or death, no surrender. It sounds extreme, but you have to stand for something in this life, and even if no one else agrees with you, that's okay. Stand for SOMETHING. Anything. Have some fire and be unstoppable.
Sparta, King Leonidas. The Persian army is conquering and Xerxes wants Sparta to surrender. Leonidas won't have it, because Spartans don't surrender. They win or die in battle. That's it. So they go to war with the Persians and put up quite the fight. Eventually they are defeated, but every single one of the Spartans dies fighting.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way trying to idealize this movie or anything like that, but I really felt a profound epiphany after watching the movie.
King Leonidas is a fantastic and wise leader. He reminds me a lot of the leaders we have today, especially in the Church. They're so wise and so desperately want what is best for us and to help preserve us and our life.
The Persian army and Xerxes are like all the temptations and less than pleasant things in this world. It's an all out assault on our very lives to compromise the things we believe in and hold most precious to us. It's the attack on the family, and the attack on our moral values and principles. It's the fact that this world, while wonderful and so so beautiful, can be so dark and so evil. It's all of that.
I also noticed how valiant and dedicated to the cause the Spartan army was. It was victory or death, no surrender. That was it. Sometimes, I feel like in my own life I too often compromise and allow myself to surrender or fall short instead of following through with my goals. There are definitely things I don't compromise on, but for the most part I feel like I sell myself short and don't push myself to my full potential. I haven't "burned my ships" yet.
So these were my thoughts going into Church the following Sunday. It was out of the manual, lesson #5 Faith and Repentance. I came across this quote in the lesson and sent it to Dan. It seemed just too perfect to pass up because it so perfectly described how I was making the comparisons between 300 and the gospel.
"It is our duty to look after each other, to protect each other...to stand together with a united front against the sins of the world."
To bring this around so that it kind of wraps it up, I want to be more like the Spartans, with such conviction for my cause that it's victory or death, no surrender. It sounds extreme, but you have to stand for something in this life, and even if no one else agrees with you, that's okay. Stand for SOMETHING. Anything. Have some fire and be unstoppable.
Monday, October 14, 2013
High on life
You guys...today has been a great day. Phenomenal, in fact. I did not think it would end this way, considering everything I had to do today.
Last night, I was studying and finishing up some homework that was due this morning. I went to bed around 12:30 and woke up at 5 this morning to get everything finished. No sleep for nursing students. Anyway, I get ready, finish the homework and head to school. We had a Professionalism Conference today...blah. Really, these things are kind of a drag. The keynote speaker always loses me 15 minutes into the presentation. It didn't help today that I had to study for a test I was taking later that day.
To make it even better, they dimmed the lights. It should be cardinal rule during any presentation that extends longer than 30 minutes that you MUST do the following:
1. Keep the room cold--okay, not so much cold, but definitely NOT warm
2. Keep the bright lights on
3. Be engaging, or at least entertaining--powerpoint is not engaging. Or at least that's what they tell us in school. And it wouldn't hurt if they threw in a joke every now and then.
So anyway, we get through the keynote speaker (hallelujah) and then we had 3-30 minute break out sessions. Usually these are kind of a drag too. Surprisingly, and gratefully, today they were not. They were actually quite interesting. Well, 2/3 were interesting, which is a pretty good run for these professionalism conferences.
We get lunch, and then some of us had to rush off to a Global Health information meeting. Next summer, we get to participate in a global health semester, which is the semester where most people go abroad (Ghana, Tonga, Taiwan, India...). I have always planned on staying in Utah for this semester--I'm a little attached to my husband and sleeping in my own bed next to him. Today, I had quite a little revelation, or inspiration. Whatever you want to call it. It was awesome! And a little daunting.
The instructors started talking about the group that goes to Washington D.C. for their study abroad. Something about their little 2 minute presentation really spoke to me, and I just had this feeling, the small little ones in the back of your mind, telling me that's where I wanted to and needed to go. I went to a little informational meeting about it, and I kept getting more and more excited.
But the excitement had to be put on hold. I had to study for a test, which proved to be quite difficult. I could not for the life of me focus. But FINALLY (after 3 hours of dinking around trying to study), I buckled down, studied hard, and sailed pretty well through the test. I was so happy with my grade! It was an entire letter grade improvement from the first test--who wouldn't be happy with that.
Then I was able to get back to the excitement of Global Health. I talked to Dan, and he instantaneously said yes! I had to ask him 3 or 4 or 10 times if he was sure he was okay with me being gone for 8 days and spending a little extra money to go to D.C. He was. He's awesome!! So kids, I did it. I signed up to go to D.C. for my global health study abroad and I'm so so excited about it. And Dan is already brainstorming ways for us to help raise a little money to pay for some of the cost to go (he really is the best husband ever!).
Anyway, I'm a little high on life right now. I've had a great day, which is quite the change from Friday (thank goodness) and I just feel so so blessed in my life to have married the man I did, to be at the school I'm at, and to be in this wonderful nursing program that has presented me with countless opportunities to grown, succeed, and diversify myself from other nursing students. I feel truly and richly blessed.
Happy Monday everyone!
*Side note: I realized that I should probably blog more often so that it's not just "I hate my life" rants and "Life is awesome" posts. Just a thought--it may or may not happen. I just can't quite commit to that one.
Last night, I was studying and finishing up some homework that was due this morning. I went to bed around 12:30 and woke up at 5 this morning to get everything finished. No sleep for nursing students. Anyway, I get ready, finish the homework and head to school. We had a Professionalism Conference today...blah. Really, these things are kind of a drag. The keynote speaker always loses me 15 minutes into the presentation. It didn't help today that I had to study for a test I was taking later that day.
To make it even better, they dimmed the lights. It should be cardinal rule during any presentation that extends longer than 30 minutes that you MUST do the following:
1. Keep the room cold--okay, not so much cold, but definitely NOT warm
2. Keep the bright lights on
3. Be engaging, or at least entertaining--powerpoint is not engaging. Or at least that's what they tell us in school. And it wouldn't hurt if they threw in a joke every now and then.
So anyway, we get through the keynote speaker (hallelujah) and then we had 3-30 minute break out sessions. Usually these are kind of a drag too. Surprisingly, and gratefully, today they were not. They were actually quite interesting. Well, 2/3 were interesting, which is a pretty good run for these professionalism conferences.
We get lunch, and then some of us had to rush off to a Global Health information meeting. Next summer, we get to participate in a global health semester, which is the semester where most people go abroad (Ghana, Tonga, Taiwan, India...). I have always planned on staying in Utah for this semester--I'm a little attached to my husband and sleeping in my own bed next to him. Today, I had quite a little revelation, or inspiration. Whatever you want to call it. It was awesome! And a little daunting.
The instructors started talking about the group that goes to Washington D.C. for their study abroad. Something about their little 2 minute presentation really spoke to me, and I just had this feeling, the small little ones in the back of your mind, telling me that's where I wanted to and needed to go. I went to a little informational meeting about it, and I kept getting more and more excited.
But the excitement had to be put on hold. I had to study for a test, which proved to be quite difficult. I could not for the life of me focus. But FINALLY (after 3 hours of dinking around trying to study), I buckled down, studied hard, and sailed pretty well through the test. I was so happy with my grade! It was an entire letter grade improvement from the first test--who wouldn't be happy with that.
Then I was able to get back to the excitement of Global Health. I talked to Dan, and he instantaneously said yes! I had to ask him 3 or 4 or 10 times if he was sure he was okay with me being gone for 8 days and spending a little extra money to go to D.C. He was. He's awesome!! So kids, I did it. I signed up to go to D.C. for my global health study abroad and I'm so so excited about it. And Dan is already brainstorming ways for us to help raise a little money to pay for some of the cost to go (he really is the best husband ever!).
Anyway, I'm a little high on life right now. I've had a great day, which is quite the change from Friday (thank goodness) and I just feel so so blessed in my life to have married the man I did, to be at the school I'm at, and to be in this wonderful nursing program that has presented me with countless opportunities to grown, succeed, and diversify myself from other nursing students. I feel truly and richly blessed.
Happy Monday everyone!
*Side note: I realized that I should probably blog more often so that it's not just "I hate my life" rants and "Life is awesome" posts. Just a thought--it may or may not happen. I just can't quite commit to that one.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Rant
If you're not in the mood for a "frustrated, I'm a little pissed at the world, can't stand my life" kind of moment, come back another day. That's just who I am this week.
Guys, it will be a HUGE and FANTASTIC miracle if I make it through this semester without either
1. Being medicated
2. Taking up drinking
3. or Doing hard drugs
It's a damn joke, my life. And believe me, this is me trying to have a good attitude about it. But clearly that's not working yet. I'm still fighting too hard against the stupid loop holes nursing school forces you to jump through. I'm sure in the morning, I will be ready to face my life, deal with my issues, and start jumping so damn high that I'll have reached the clouds. Until then, welcome to my little pity party.
This semester has been THE most challenging by far since I started school. Balancing my marriage, school, work, my health and well being, and my own spirituality has proven to be So. Hard. I feel like I'm constantly running on empty, and there's always more work to be done than I have time or energy to give.
School feels so insanely unorganized with too much work to get done in a week, let alone a day, and get enough sleep to continue functioning. I really do stay pretty on top of my life. I have a calendar, and a planner, and reminders in my phone. I get things done. I do them right. But for one reason or another, I completely spaced on part of my assignment. To add insult to injury, my instructor was less than helpful or understanding about it, and to be honest, a little condescending and unforgiving. I understand that I didn't get it done, and that's fine. I can own that. What really grinds at me is that it's the first week of clinical. How in the world are we expected to get every single little thing right the very first week. Can't you cut a girl just a little slack? Take points off for being late, whatever, but at least show a little kindness and understanding.
Just empathize a little. Recognize that I, the STUDENT NURSE, don't know everything. I am just LEARNING. I don't have 20+ years of nursing experience in one particular field under my belt. I haven't seen THAT much. And what I have seen has been in 3 separate fields, and no two fields are alike. Respect that I am trying to learn and master skills. I'm trying to apply the things I have learned in YOUR lecture to my clinical experience.
The stress and anxiety of it all is making me sick. Literally. My stomach has been in knots for the last week. Today, I barely made it out of the hospital before I burst into tears because it's too much. Much too much.
So tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow HAS to be a better day. For now, I'm going to finish a few things and just be done for the evening.
Checking out.
Guys, it will be a HUGE and FANTASTIC miracle if I make it through this semester without either
1. Being medicated
2. Taking up drinking
3. or Doing hard drugs
It's a damn joke, my life. And believe me, this is me trying to have a good attitude about it. But clearly that's not working yet. I'm still fighting too hard against the stupid loop holes nursing school forces you to jump through. I'm sure in the morning, I will be ready to face my life, deal with my issues, and start jumping so damn high that I'll have reached the clouds. Until then, welcome to my little pity party.
This semester has been THE most challenging by far since I started school. Balancing my marriage, school, work, my health and well being, and my own spirituality has proven to be So. Hard. I feel like I'm constantly running on empty, and there's always more work to be done than I have time or energy to give.
School feels so insanely unorganized with too much work to get done in a week, let alone a day, and get enough sleep to continue functioning. I really do stay pretty on top of my life. I have a calendar, and a planner, and reminders in my phone. I get things done. I do them right. But for one reason or another, I completely spaced on part of my assignment. To add insult to injury, my instructor was less than helpful or understanding about it, and to be honest, a little condescending and unforgiving. I understand that I didn't get it done, and that's fine. I can own that. What really grinds at me is that it's the first week of clinical. How in the world are we expected to get every single little thing right the very first week. Can't you cut a girl just a little slack? Take points off for being late, whatever, but at least show a little kindness and understanding.
Just empathize a little. Recognize that I, the STUDENT NURSE, don't know everything. I am just LEARNING. I don't have 20+ years of nursing experience in one particular field under my belt. I haven't seen THAT much. And what I have seen has been in 3 separate fields, and no two fields are alike. Respect that I am trying to learn and master skills. I'm trying to apply the things I have learned in YOUR lecture to my clinical experience.
The stress and anxiety of it all is making me sick. Literally. My stomach has been in knots for the last week. Today, I barely made it out of the hospital before I burst into tears because it's too much. Much too much.
So tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow HAS to be a better day. For now, I'm going to finish a few things and just be done for the evening.
Checking out.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Welcome to Limbo! Please stay awhile
I pride myself on the fact that Dan and I are really synced, especially when it comes to the big decisions. Literally, everything. We can talk about the options and lay it all out, then decide what is going to be best for us, usually after some combination of fasting, prayer, or temple worship. So you can imagine my dismay when we are presented with another option that we originally were not even considering...and that new option starts to look a lot more tantalizing and enticing. It's really frustrating and distracting to say the least.
The most frustrating is that I don't even know what to do. Every time I look and think maybe this one is the best decision for us, it's like the other side raises a huge sign and says But wait!! I can give you THIS instead of that! Literally it's been like this for the last week almost. It's extremely distracting and it really is just clouding every single thought that comes into my head. The only relief I've really found (ironically enough) was in the one place where I constantly have to be thinking on my feet--clinical.
Something about the OR yesterday was just enough relief for me...possibly the brilliance of surgeons and their craft to be able to put broken things back together, or quite possibly the lack of oxygen to my brain from rebreathing all my own CO2 blow off from wearing a mask all day long. Whatever it was, there was just enough going to keep me interested and occupied, but also relaxed. I think it gave me the break I so desperately needed from my own head to just focus on what is right in front of me: surgery.
Dan and I keep talking about the different options and what each one offers us and where we'd be at the end of it if things work out for us. Secretly, I think we've both chosen and option but we're still waiting and discussing. I hope today we'll finally be able to put it to rest, but then again, maybe the Big Man has something for us to learn from this struggle. Either way, we're going to this lovely place today to find some answers, and more than anything, some peace.
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Dan has found a bunch of amazing quotes the last few days and has them around our house. One in particular that I want to leave with you is this one:
Anyone can give up. It is the easiest thing in the world to do! But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's TRUE STRENGTH. -Unknown.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Grown up problems
Never mind that I'm supposed to take a nursing test in 2 hours, I needed to get this off my chest a little bit. Its been bugging me ever since it first started talking about it...yesterday.
Dan called from work (he just started a new job at a bank!!) and was asking me a few questions about the different benefits we wanted to use. One of them was life insurance.
Number 1. I've never even thought about it. We're young and healthy, and life insurance is for old people anyway. WRONG.
Number 2. I have no idea how much we would need because we really don't have a lot of expenses right now anyway. LEGITIMATE.
Number 3. I hate hate HATE dealing with big kid grown up issues because all the possibilities you're supposed to prepare for are too scary. IRRATIONAL...possibly.
So naturally I called my mom, because Dan only had a few minutes to talk (he was on his lunch break) before he had to get back to work. We talked about it, and I just got more and more creeped and nervous as we kept talking. I don't ever ever ever want to think about the possibility of Dan dying, not until we're old and decrepid and can't hardly get up out of our rocking chairs.
Unfortunately, you can't always bank on that hope, especially when the all too clear reality in this family stares you right in the face. It's already happened once. It's all just a little too real for me to think about sometimes. I don't know how anyone is supposed to make it through that, but they do. I've seen that one first hand, and she's one of THE strongest people I know. I love and admire her so so much.
But alas, it's time to grow up. I was able to figure out a little bit more what we would need so we could actually figure out a logical number that we should invest in. I still cringe at the thought of ever needing it at this point in our lives, but the fact of the matter is we never know when we're leaving this life, and luck (as it so happens) favors the prepared. I guess it's good to be a boy scout on this one (always be prepared).
That's my rant. Now I'll get back to studying.
Dan called from work (he just started a new job at a bank!!) and was asking me a few questions about the different benefits we wanted to use. One of them was life insurance.
Number 1. I've never even thought about it. We're young and healthy, and life insurance is for old people anyway. WRONG.
Number 2. I have no idea how much we would need because we really don't have a lot of expenses right now anyway. LEGITIMATE.
Number 3. I hate hate HATE dealing with big kid grown up issues because all the possibilities you're supposed to prepare for are too scary. IRRATIONAL...possibly.
So naturally I called my mom, because Dan only had a few minutes to talk (he was on his lunch break) before he had to get back to work. We talked about it, and I just got more and more creeped and nervous as we kept talking. I don't ever ever ever want to think about the possibility of Dan dying, not until we're old and decrepid and can't hardly get up out of our rocking chairs.
Unfortunately, you can't always bank on that hope, especially when the all too clear reality in this family stares you right in the face. It's already happened once. It's all just a little too real for me to think about sometimes. I don't know how anyone is supposed to make it through that, but they do. I've seen that one first hand, and she's one of THE strongest people I know. I love and admire her so so much.
But alas, it's time to grow up. I was able to figure out a little bit more what we would need so we could actually figure out a logical number that we should invest in. I still cringe at the thought of ever needing it at this point in our lives, but the fact of the matter is we never know when we're leaving this life, and luck (as it so happens) favors the prepared. I guess it's good to be a boy scout on this one (always be prepared).
That's my rant. Now I'll get back to studying.
Monday, June 18, 2012
The homeless and motorcyclists
Driving home from work wasn't really anything special. Just chug chug chuggin along and hoping that the miles would pass faster so I could see Dan. I'm sitting at the light at Parker road waiting for it to change. Directly in front of me is a guy on a motorcycle, only the light in the back isn't on. Odd.
After a few minutes (Parker is a pretty major street so the lights last forever), I can tell the bike isn't on, he's trying to kick start it or whatever, and it's clearly not working.
That's when I noticed the homeless guy (well...he can't be that homeless because he actually looked pretty clean, and was clean shaven-ish) walked over and helped him push his bike out of the road and onto the sidewalk. Impressed to say the least.
It actually kind of twinged at my heart a little just to see another human being helping someone out. Honestly, I'm not huge on giving out stuff to the people on the corners. Usually it's because I don't have any food and I'm not going to give them money, but today I really was ticked I didn't have any food. Not even a sandwich. I just felt like his good deed deserved some rewarding for himself. I don't know it just really struck me. Then the lady that was with the homeless guy helped the motor cycle guy, let him borrow her phone to call someone (see I don't think they're really homeless) and gave him some of her food.
It always makes me happy to see other people helping each other out. Like there's a reason to still have some faith in humanity.
Totally unrelated side note: Dan and I went on our very first pajama run since being married!! It was so fun. We took the Greer's with us, and it was nice to just do something spontaneous and share our little family tradition with someone else. We went to Burger King and each had an ice cream cone.
I still remember the first one I went on with Dan. We were staying at his parent's house for President's Day weekend, and I had just taken a shower. We were watching some TV and then Dan's parents come rushing in and say "pajama run!!" I was going to run upstairs and get my shoes (you have 30 seconds to get into the car) but Dan wouldn't let me! So he carried me out to the car. We went to McDonalds and all got ice cream cones. It was so fun!! I can't wait to do that with our kids one day. One day.
After a few minutes (Parker is a pretty major street so the lights last forever), I can tell the bike isn't on, he's trying to kick start it or whatever, and it's clearly not working.
That's when I noticed the homeless guy (well...he can't be that homeless because he actually looked pretty clean, and was clean shaven-ish) walked over and helped him push his bike out of the road and onto the sidewalk. Impressed to say the least.
It actually kind of twinged at my heart a little just to see another human being helping someone out. Honestly, I'm not huge on giving out stuff to the people on the corners. Usually it's because I don't have any food and I'm not going to give them money, but today I really was ticked I didn't have any food. Not even a sandwich. I just felt like his good deed deserved some rewarding for himself. I don't know it just really struck me. Then the lady that was with the homeless guy helped the motor cycle guy, let him borrow her phone to call someone (see I don't think they're really homeless) and gave him some of her food.
It always makes me happy to see other people helping each other out. Like there's a reason to still have some faith in humanity.
Totally unrelated side note: Dan and I went on our very first pajama run since being married!! It was so fun. We took the Greer's with us, and it was nice to just do something spontaneous and share our little family tradition with someone else. We went to Burger King and each had an ice cream cone.
I still remember the first one I went on with Dan. We were staying at his parent's house for President's Day weekend, and I had just taken a shower. We were watching some TV and then Dan's parents come rushing in and say "pajama run!!" I was going to run upstairs and get my shoes (you have 30 seconds to get into the car) but Dan wouldn't let me! So he carried me out to the car. We went to McDonalds and all got ice cream cones. It was so fun!! I can't wait to do that with our kids one day. One day.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Ghetto Fabulous
I had a job interview today. Naturally, I went shopping this morning to find some "business" attire that's appropriate for an interview--aka slacks. Ugh I think I tried on 10 different pairs in 10 different sizes. I'm at that awkward in between stage where sometimes this size fits and sometimes this one fits. Good thing today wasn't a fat day. It could have been detrimental.
Anyway, so I found some pants that fit, and they were even the smaller size! Raise the roof! Ouch...I should never say that again. Alas, everything cannot be perfect though about said pants. They are too stinking long! And only by one roll of the cuff! I thought seriously about finding some safety pins and pinning them up, and possibly even buying a needle and thread to hem them (psh...that thought lasted for all of about 2.5 seconds). Then...I had an epiphany!
I'll just TAPE my pants!
Ghehhhh-to. Seriously.
But whatever works right? Because after running through the above options in my head, you'd have been able to see the safety pins poking through on the other side of the pants (that just looks ghetto and trashy) and I probably would have ruined my pants trying to hem them myself when I haven't a clue how to do it (even more trashy looking).
So despite the fact that it was super ghetto that I taped my pants to the right length, at least I'm the only one who knew about it! There's nothing quite like being secretive about your ghetto-ness. It's quite the thrill....everyone should try it.
Oh and can I just add (and Abbie thought of this first, but I completely agree) dress pants do absolutely nothing for your figure! It's like I stepped into a fat suit and suddenly lacked curves. Like all the puffy-ness went to making me look like a rectangle. Lame. At least if you've got to live with these (curves I mean), make them (pants) a little more figure flattering!
So I guess I should tell about how the interview went...
Well it when a little something like this...
I was there 15 minutes early (always a good sign right). Found the building alright, and patiently waited for my moment to shine (cheesy--barf!). She came out, said hello, and told me I could take a seat in the conference room. She came back in about 5 ish minutes later with my resume in a manilla envelope. I was probably there for 20 minutes, and then left. She seemed super nice and I thought the interview went relatively well, except for that awkward question they always ask at the end: why do you think you'd be a better hire than someone else?
Seriously, could we just rewrite that question to say "why on earth do you think you're better than someone?" It's awkward to say the least. But I muddle through it, and now it's over. I'll find out in the next couple of days if I'm hired or not. I hope yes, because I really really hate job hunting...way more than I hate awkward interview questions.
Anyway, so I found some pants that fit, and they were even the smaller size! Raise the roof! Ouch...I should never say that again. Alas, everything cannot be perfect though about said pants. They are too stinking long! And only by one roll of the cuff! I thought seriously about finding some safety pins and pinning them up, and possibly even buying a needle and thread to hem them (psh...that thought lasted for all of about 2.5 seconds). Then...I had an epiphany!
I'll just TAPE my pants!
Ghehhhh-to. Seriously.
But whatever works right? Because after running through the above options in my head, you'd have been able to see the safety pins poking through on the other side of the pants (that just looks ghetto and trashy) and I probably would have ruined my pants trying to hem them myself when I haven't a clue how to do it (even more trashy looking).
So despite the fact that it was super ghetto that I taped my pants to the right length, at least I'm the only one who knew about it! There's nothing quite like being secretive about your ghetto-ness. It's quite the thrill....everyone should try it.
Oh and can I just add (and Abbie thought of this first, but I completely agree) dress pants do absolutely nothing for your figure! It's like I stepped into a fat suit and suddenly lacked curves. Like all the puffy-ness went to making me look like a rectangle. Lame. At least if you've got to live with these (curves I mean), make them (pants) a little more figure flattering!
So I guess I should tell about how the interview went...
Well it when a little something like this...
I was there 15 minutes early (always a good sign right). Found the building alright, and patiently waited for my moment to shine (cheesy--barf!). She came out, said hello, and told me I could take a seat in the conference room. She came back in about 5 ish minutes later with my resume in a manilla envelope. I was probably there for 20 minutes, and then left. She seemed super nice and I thought the interview went relatively well, except for that awkward question they always ask at the end: why do you think you'd be a better hire than someone else?
Seriously, could we just rewrite that question to say "why on earth do you think you're better than someone?" It's awkward to say the least. But I muddle through it, and now it's over. I'll find out in the next couple of days if I'm hired or not. I hope yes, because I really really hate job hunting...way more than I hate awkward interview questions.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Growing up....Sucks.
Big time.
Paying bills....finding car insurance...having to pay a crap ton of money that you don't really have for things that are "required" for nursing school. Oh but don't worry, because you'll use it through the whole thing. Right, like that's supposed to make me feel better right NOW about shelling out dolla bills every which way I turn. Not so much.
I guess it's only fair they make you fork out $10 K for my education and such so that one day I can make $60 K. Seems logical. Actually it seems really dumb. But who's complaining?
Oh that's right...me.
The end. Sorry this is such a downer. It's just frustrating.
Paying bills....finding car insurance...having to pay a crap ton of money that you don't really have for things that are "required" for nursing school. Oh but don't worry, because you'll use it through the whole thing. Right, like that's supposed to make me feel better right NOW about shelling out dolla bills every which way I turn. Not so much.
I guess it's only fair they make you fork out $10 K for my education and such so that one day I can make $60 K. Seems logical. Actually it seems really dumb. But who's complaining?
Oh that's right...me.
The end. Sorry this is such a downer. It's just frustrating.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Days like these
Can only be more perfectly described with country music.
Maybe I'll have something more chipper to say later. As for now, it just sounds like life to me. The only thing for certain is uncertainty.
Maybe I'll have something more chipper to say later. As for now, it just sounds like life to me. The only thing for certain is uncertainty.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Little Miss Hide Your Scars
If you take a look around you, how many people do you see that have suffered or are currently suffering through a magnanomous (sp?) trial? Could you pick them out of the crowd? Even a circle of acquaintances that you briefly chat about nothing with on a pretty regular basis? My guess...probably not.
I've been wanted to blog about this title ever since it slapped me upside the head while listening to Sugarland one day (leave it to Jennifer Nettles to slap you silly with her bomb lyrics). So I've been thinking and noticing just around me immediately who has "scars." Bear with me on this one, it's a little far fetched, but just go with it.
I can't help but notice how many people have lost someone close to them--like as in immediate family close to them. Fortunately for me, I haven't had to go through that, but seeing all the people around me and their tragic stories, I'm scared outta my mind.
It's right in my own family. My husband lost his brother, and likewise my sister in law lost her husband, and my nephew lost his dad. We watch Kason every Wednesday so Jami can go to her institute class (which major props! I'm pretty sure I only go to my religion classes 1/3 of the time because I actually get a grade). Don't get me wrong, I love love love watching him and getting to play with him every week!! It's probably one of the highlights of our week (mostly because it gives me so much hope and happiness to look forward to Dan being a father to our own kids one day). I love being an aunt! It's so fun and exciting! But I can't help but wonder what life would be like for them today if Kam were still here. Heck, I wonder how different my own life would be. Would we have gotten along? Would Jami and Kason even be in Utah? Probably not.
I had a funny thought the other day--and by funny I don't mean literally funny like haha, but just interesting. Dan and I were talking about his friend Clayton (who also passed away) and different memories that Dan and his friends have with him. I just had this thought, and I looked up at that great big beautiful blue sky and thought to myself, "I can't wait to meet you." I have decided I like talking to Dan about Kam, and I love the way he lights up when he is talking about Kam. It makes me feel like I kind of know my other brother. I hope that when that day comes and I finally do get to meet him, I'll recognize him from all the stories that I've heard.
Anyway, back to scars, they're everywhere, and I feel like as a person, we're always trying to hide them. We don't want people to know that we're broken, or bleeding, or falling apart. We just don't. I don't know if that's the pride and arrogance of us as human beings coming out, or it's just we don't want people to know how badly we're really hurting inside, and that as long as we keep a brave face on a play the part, no one will ever know and we can silently hurt and attempt to put ourselves back together.
I have a good friend, in fact she's probably one of my best friends, that I had the priviledge to live with this last year in college. We'd always been "friends"-ish before, we'd played on the same softball team for a year or two, and she was dating and guy in my ward. So I saw her around. Anyway, she came down to Thatcher last year, and lived with me! It was by far one of the best experiences of my life. She's that friend that's not afraid to call it like it is and tell you to suck it up (and I needed that quite frequently). She's also that friend that has taught me so much about the importance of the gospel in keeping your life together amidst great tragedies.
She lost her brother in a terrible accident. I remember when it happened that I actually got a text from her boyfriend asking everyone to pray for Ben. Fast forward 2 years or so, and I can't tell you how many conversations we've had that lasted way into the small hours of the morning about all these scars on our lives. As we got to be better friends, I learned more about the scars she carries, and I've developed a great love and admiration for her, and anyone that has had a similar situation, the one who does keep going, even if it's just going through the motions for a while, but doesn't let that defeat them.
I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like right now without my brother. He has so much life and love and spirit in him and it's always bringing a smile to my face. I cannot wait to see him in just a few weeks, when my family is here for Thanksgiving.
But not to dwell on that, I really would like to know why we are always striving to hide these scars we carry? Everyone has them, and everyone will get at least one or two more by the time this life is over for each of us. I just hope and pray that when you see someone on the street, don't judge them by their appearance or their attitude or their demeanor. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. So be kinder than necessary, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Trust me, one day, you'll need that benefit when your scars hit you.
I've been wanted to blog about this title ever since it slapped me upside the head while listening to Sugarland one day (leave it to Jennifer Nettles to slap you silly with her bomb lyrics). So I've been thinking and noticing just around me immediately who has "scars." Bear with me on this one, it's a little far fetched, but just go with it.
I can't help but notice how many people have lost someone close to them--like as in immediate family close to them. Fortunately for me, I haven't had to go through that, but seeing all the people around me and their tragic stories, I'm scared outta my mind.
It's right in my own family. My husband lost his brother, and likewise my sister in law lost her husband, and my nephew lost his dad. We watch Kason every Wednesday so Jami can go to her institute class (which major props! I'm pretty sure I only go to my religion classes 1/3 of the time because I actually get a grade). Don't get me wrong, I love love love watching him and getting to play with him every week!! It's probably one of the highlights of our week (mostly because it gives me so much hope and happiness to look forward to Dan being a father to our own kids one day). I love being an aunt! It's so fun and exciting! But I can't help but wonder what life would be like for them today if Kam were still here. Heck, I wonder how different my own life would be. Would we have gotten along? Would Jami and Kason even be in Utah? Probably not.
I had a funny thought the other day--and by funny I don't mean literally funny like haha, but just interesting. Dan and I were talking about his friend Clayton (who also passed away) and different memories that Dan and his friends have with him. I just had this thought, and I looked up at that great big beautiful blue sky and thought to myself, "I can't wait to meet you." I have decided I like talking to Dan about Kam, and I love the way he lights up when he is talking about Kam. It makes me feel like I kind of know my other brother. I hope that when that day comes and I finally do get to meet him, I'll recognize him from all the stories that I've heard.
Anyway, back to scars, they're everywhere, and I feel like as a person, we're always trying to hide them. We don't want people to know that we're broken, or bleeding, or falling apart. We just don't. I don't know if that's the pride and arrogance of us as human beings coming out, or it's just we don't want people to know how badly we're really hurting inside, and that as long as we keep a brave face on a play the part, no one will ever know and we can silently hurt and attempt to put ourselves back together.
I have a good friend, in fact she's probably one of my best friends, that I had the priviledge to live with this last year in college. We'd always been "friends"-ish before, we'd played on the same softball team for a year or two, and she was dating and guy in my ward. So I saw her around. Anyway, she came down to Thatcher last year, and lived with me! It was by far one of the best experiences of my life. She's that friend that's not afraid to call it like it is and tell you to suck it up (and I needed that quite frequently). She's also that friend that has taught me so much about the importance of the gospel in keeping your life together amidst great tragedies.
She lost her brother in a terrible accident. I remember when it happened that I actually got a text from her boyfriend asking everyone to pray for Ben. Fast forward 2 years or so, and I can't tell you how many conversations we've had that lasted way into the small hours of the morning about all these scars on our lives. As we got to be better friends, I learned more about the scars she carries, and I've developed a great love and admiration for her, and anyone that has had a similar situation, the one who does keep going, even if it's just going through the motions for a while, but doesn't let that defeat them.
I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like right now without my brother. He has so much life and love and spirit in him and it's always bringing a smile to my face. I cannot wait to see him in just a few weeks, when my family is here for Thanksgiving.
But not to dwell on that, I really would like to know why we are always striving to hide these scars we carry? Everyone has them, and everyone will get at least one or two more by the time this life is over for each of us. I just hope and pray that when you see someone on the street, don't judge them by their appearance or their attitude or their demeanor. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. So be kinder than necessary, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Trust me, one day, you'll need that benefit when your scars hit you.
You gotta love it
...when your upstairs neighbor's baby is up all night crying. I think he finally called it quits at about 500 this morning. Oh and he's 15 months old. So it was loud.
Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep, and that's not helping much with studying for the test I'm supposed to take today. I'm thinking about just taking it Thursday, paying the $5 late fee (lame right? you don't think I pay enough to be here) and having an extra day to study.
At any rate, I don't think I'll be having children in the next 6 months at least (or like 2 years...because then I'll be graduated from nursing school!!! HOLLA!). I enjoy my sleep entirely too much. The end.
Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep, and that's not helping much with studying for the test I'm supposed to take today. I'm thinking about just taking it Thursday, paying the $5 late fee (lame right? you don't think I pay enough to be here) and having an extra day to study.
At any rate, I don't think I'll be having children in the next 6 months at least (or like 2 years...because then I'll be graduated from nursing school!!! HOLLA!). I enjoy my sleep entirely too much. The end.
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