St. George Trip + Weekend

This weekend, Dan's work had a retreat in St. George. 

They have one every year just over a couple of days, and this was the first one for us!

We have been looking forward to it for a couple months now, anxiously awaiting the arrival of June.

It also happened to coincide with the weekend that Dan's cousin, Aiko and her husband Todd were baptizing their little baby girl.

It was a little too perfect, as we would come to find out, to be able to do all of it in one weekend.

But we thought it was great timing and why not do it all!

It was also the same weekend as the ward party, and I was a little bummed to be missing that.

Awesome barbecue and homemade ice cream?

Who wouldn't want to miss that!

I had it all planned out.

Work half day on Thursday and take Friday off; we'd be back by Sunday night so I could work on Monday. 

But as all well-laid plans go, you know exactly where it went.

Also, I got this crazy idea bouncing around in my head to chop my hair off.

So I had to find time to squeeze that in before we left.

More on that in a bit. 

Oh, and I got invited to play Bunco with some friends on Wednesday night!

The weekend was approaching and I was getting everything ready to go.

I made a packing list on Tuesday, started laundry on Wednesday afternoon, and got all packed up Wednesday night. 

I tried really really REALLY hard not to over-pack.

But of course I still did, packing almost double the amount of clothes I actually needed.

What's a girl to do.

Also I found these super cute shorts at Kohl's after work on Wednesday, and grabbed a couple of pairs.

Hopefully, enough to last me through the summer. 

I was debating the entire way home from Kohl's about not going to Bunco.

I just didn't feel like I had time to do all of it.

Thankfully, Dan told me to go!

I had such a blast with Char Larsen, Amy Smith, and Liz Palmer.

I also found out that Bunco was not as exclusive of a club as I thought!

It felt like half our ward was there playing, but of course only fun ladies.

It was so nice to get out of the house for a few hours and enjoy good company and way too many laughs.

At the end of the night, we all got a prize.

Amber (Char's daughter) made a holder for the hanging flower baskets.

It is so cute and I can't wait to hang something in it. 

I even branched out and got a light purple color (it's chalk paint called Bastille).

We sat outside Amber's house and ended up laughing hysterically for a good 30 minutes about random things.

Bottom line: Liz is hilarious when she gets hyper.

Love that girl to death.

So back to the hair chopping incident.

Monday-ish, I started itching to chop my hair.

I had honestly been thinking about it since I last got my hair done, about a month ago, but starting Monday I couldn't get the thought out of my head.

I talked to Dan, got gutsy, and called the girl who does my hair.

She's amazing, let me tell you!

Not only is she just straight awesome and hilarious, but she also squeezed me in to chop my hair before we left for St. George!

I went over right before we left, and off the hair went!

And this was the final product.

It's still a little crazy that I actually cut it.

I still have minor anxiety when I wash it or style it because it's gone!

But so far, I love it.

It's liberating.

I highly recommend it. 

So off we went to St. George, short hair, car packed, and ready for a relaxing weekend!

About 30 minutes south of Nephi, there are quite a few hills that are a little difficult to climb going 80mph on a 4 cylinder engine. 

Climbing one of these hills, the A/C went out.

Mind you, it's about 100 degrees outside.

We drove another hour to Beaver, with the windows down, and pulled off the freeway, hoping to get the Freon topped off and be back on our way.

Getting off the freeway, we started to hear this horrible rattling noise.

We got to a mechanic, and found out the pulley on the air compressor had broken and the compressor was hanging.

Sucky.

After about 15 minutes trying to decide what to do, we figured we better just drive home.

I suddenly got a horrible, horrible feeling and heavy weight on my chest.

I started tearing up and told Dan there is no way we can drive home.

We wouldn't make it.

The soonest they could get the part to fix it would be Friday.

We had no way to get to St. George, and no way to get home.

Thankfully, and by no small miracle, the mechanic who owned the shop said he had a van that we could borrow for the weekend.

It seriously was so incredibly generous of him, and probably saved our weekend.

It was an old 92 Dodge Conversion van, the kind that has curtains on the windows, and the back bench folds down into a bed.

Yeah.

But it ran, and had A/C, and got us to St. George and back home safely!

This was driving home.

I was not nearly as excited about driving it down to St. George as I was to be going home.

We finally made it to St. George and made it to the restaurant, surprisingly only 30 minutes late!

The food at the restaurant was pretty delicious.

We went to the Cliffside Inn for dinner.

It has a gorgeous view overlooking St. George.

And I forgot to take a picture.

I was a little too distracted with my own crap on Thursday to really relax and enjoy the time with Dan's co-workers.

Something that I didn't really appreciate until we were leaving to come back home, Dan's co-workers were all genuinely concerned about us.

Dan's boss, James, is an all around stand up guy.

He was trying to find us a ride from Beaver to St. George, sent out a mass text seeing if anyone could pick us up, and even offered to pay for a rental so we could still come this weekend.

Stand up guy.

I'm feeling so incredibly blessed for the company Dan works for and the people he is privileged to associate with and work beside.

James said something to me within 5 minutes of being at the restaurant that initially bothered me, but then I came to appreciate it.

He told me to not worry about the car, and to just relax and enjoy the weekend.

At first, I was a little bugged.

Of course I'm going to worry about my car!

It's going to put me out quite a few bones, but okay I'll try to enjoy my weekend.

After dinner, we ran back to the hotel, checked in and dropped off our bags.

We hopped in the car with Bryce and Megan Cranney, and off we went to Tuacahn for Beauty and the Beast.

Tuacahn is gorgeous, and so perfectly tucked into the rocks.

It was so hot in St. George that it was actually quite nice to get a little breeze blowing through the canyon, even if it did feel like a blow dryer on your face!

The show was awesome, and then I realized I had seen it before when Rylee was in high school.

I didn't realize it till the very end when Chip runs out as a little boy, and then I remembered Ethan played that little boy!

At intermission, we had to get some water, and Dan indulged in some frozen lemonade.

Anything to stay awake--it really stinks getting old and you want to go to bed early!

The show ended around 11:30, and we headed straight to bed.

The next morning, I slept in till probably 8:45.

Dan was kind enough to bring me breakfast, and even had an old fashioned cake donut!

My absolute favorite!!

We hurried to get dressed and head out to Sand Hollow for a day of fun playing on the lake and riding quads.

My entire goal for the trip was not to get sunburned.

I bought SPF 50 sunscreen just for that purpose.

I applied generously a couple times throughout the day, and laid out to enjoy the warm sunshine.

The boys played ultimate frisbee with a football, and the girls laid out by the shore.

I talked with Thea, James' wife for a little while.

She is such a hilarious and genuine person, and I instantly felt comfortable around her, and all the other wives too.

Now, I generously applied the sunscreen to my shoulders/back/face.

I neglected my legs.

They never burn, so I figured a little SPF 4 would suffice.

WRONG.

This wasn't even that bad.

It turned almost purple in some spots, but thankfully is getting better.

We went over to the cliffs to go cliff jumping.

Dan was super bummed he couldn't do it, since he'd strained his groin earlier that week playing softball.

He tried swimming earlier, and said one kick and it was painful.

But I jumped.

It was probably 20-25 ft high.

It was so intense and scary at first!

I don't know how I used to jump off the cliffs at Fry Mesa, but I did it!

It was so thrilling, and the water was so refreshing. 

Even Clint (who apparently is super afraid of heights) ended up jumping off the cliff.

We headed back home, and Dan and I ran to grab some food at Smashburger.

We weren't going to dinner till 7, and I needed some lunch pronto or else I would be so sick from being in the sun all day.

We saw Megan and Bryce there, and Megan asked if I wanted to go get a pedicure with her before dinner.

I'm always down for a good pedicure!

We got back to the hotel and I hurried to shower and get ready.

A bunch of us girls met in the lobby and even Berlin (one of Dan's coworker's daughter) came with us.

She was darling and so fun to have come with all the girls!

Off we went in the "shaggin wagon" to get our toes painted.

We met all the boys at dinner at Anasazi steakhouse.

Their big claim to fame is that you can cook your own food right in front of you on a hot stone.

They put these stones in the kiln and heat them for 10 hours till their 700 degrees and then they bring your meat out to you seared and you cook it to your liking.

It was an interesting and entertaining dinner.

We sat with James/Thea, Ryan/Amanda, and Grant/Tara.

It was a super fun table to be at.

James asked how we met, and I made Dan tell the WHOLE story, including the bumps.

It was super funny and everyone was laughing.

We finished up with dessert at Nielson's Frozen Custard.

Super yummy!!
I got chocolate chip cookie dough, but couldn't finish it was so rich and delicious.

We ended the evening by going back to the hotel and playing a game.
It was supposed to be a newlywed game, but one of the other "new" couples had to leave right after dinner to head back home.
So instead, we played a different game that Ryan and Amanda had.
We had to go into a dimly lit room individually.
I had a disclaimer when I walked in that I may or may not say bad words.
Ryan walked right up to you and said "Welcome to Brandmakers. If you want to be part of the team, you must perform until we applaud."
What. The. Hell.
Then Ammon started playing the music to Pharrell's "Happy."
I was so ticked, and tired, and seriously did not want to dance in front of all these people.
Everyone started copying me, whenever I would move or say something.
It honestly got irritating.
I finally just walked right out.
Amanda chased after me, and explained that since they were copying me, I just had to clap!
I felt a little silly for being so dramatic and walking out, but I really was so tired from being outside all day long.
Heat takes a toll on your patience...or at least mine.
Everyone eventually came into the room.
Some people had some sweet dance moves (James did double cartwheels, Thea stood on her head, and Megan busted out moves so awesome that we all just started clapping because we couldn't copy her!).
And let's not forget the full moon provided so kindly by Clint.
Yikes.
We all had a good laugh, and then headed off to bed.

Saturday morning, we slept in again.
There's something rejuvenating about not waking up at the butt crack of dawn every day.
We had breakfast, and got packed up.
James dropped by and handed Dan an envelope with some cash in it to help with the car repair.
I cried.
I have felt so incredibly blessed through this whole experience, despite the fact that we couldn't be in Arizona for Father's day and missed Aiko's daughter's baptism.
We have little miracles like this and I feel so blessed that Dan works with the company and the people he does.
They genuinely care about him and want him to stay with them for the long haul.
It's amazing.

We headed out in the shaggin wagon and made it home safely, and with an uneventful journey.
I couldn't wait to pick up our Ruby girl!
I miss her sweet face.
We dropped off all our stuff at home and picked up Ruby girl, and promptly gave her a bath.
Outside dogs STINK!
We went to the Ward Summer BBQ Party, which is always fun and full of delicious food!
I got to hold Liz's sweet little guy, and he fell right to sleep on my shoulder.
Ugh, those moments are my favorite and I can't wait to have one of our own to snuggle to sleep.

We topped off the evening watching Jurassic World.
So. Good.
It was epic.
And then of course I had to watch Jurassic Park on Sunday just to recap.
It was the perfect end to what started out horrible, and ended up being a fantastic weekend.

He knows me

A couple of days ago, well more like the last week, has felt like climbing the mountain of trials and challenges. I won't bore you with the details, but it had just been a rough couple of days. So I remembered that I hadn't read my scriptures and decided that I really needed to read them. It had been one of those days where I just didn't quite know how we would make it through this one. Not going to lie, I felt like, in that moment, that my Heavenly Father had forgotten about me a little bit, and I felt myself losing a little bit of faith. (I was pretty emotional at the time...hence the irrational thoughts/feelings).
I came across this scripture while I was reading:

But that ye have patience, and bear with all those

afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day

rest from all your afflictions.

-Alma 34:41

I have heard of people having the experiences where they flip open the scriptures and the answer to their challenge/question/trial, but I've never had that happen to me. This time it did. And I was extremely grateful for it.

It reminded me more than anything to have patience, and more importantly, hope. That one day all this will be over, and one day I will find eternal rest and peace.

To make it that much better, when one door closed, the window opened, and we're going to make it.

And to make it THAT much more better (yes...more better) I have this guy by my side each and every day to help me through anything that comes our way.
I know that with him, we can get through anything.
There's no one else I'd rather have by my side than him, and I know my Heavenly Father knew that I would need him.
I still say that I'm so grateful to this day that He and I agreed on him.

 5.13.11: Best decision I ever made.

Little Miss Hide Your Scars

If you take a look around you, how many people do you see that have suffered or are currently suffering through a magnanomous (sp?) trial? Could you pick them out of the crowd? Even a circle of acquaintances that you briefly chat about nothing with on a pretty regular basis? My guess...probably not.

I've been wanted to blog about this title ever since it slapped me upside the head while listening to Sugarland one day (leave it to Jennifer Nettles to slap you silly with her bomb lyrics). So I've been thinking and noticing just around me immediately who has "scars." Bear with me on this one, it's a little far fetched, but just go with it.

I can't help but notice how many people have lost someone close to them--like as in immediate family close to them. Fortunately for me, I haven't had to go through that, but seeing all the people around me and their tragic stories, I'm scared outta my mind.

It's right in my own family. My husband lost his brother, and likewise my sister in law lost her husband, and my nephew lost his dad. We watch Kason every Wednesday so Jami can go to her institute class (which major props! I'm pretty sure I only go to  my religion classes 1/3 of the time because I actually get a grade). Don't get me wrong, I love love love watching him and getting to play with him every week!! It's probably one of the highlights of our week (mostly because it gives me so much hope and happiness to look forward to Dan being a father to our own kids one day). I love being an aunt! It's so fun and exciting! But I can't help but wonder what life would be like for them today if Kam were still here. Heck, I wonder how different my own life would be. Would we have gotten along? Would Jami and Kason even be in Utah? Probably not.

I had a funny thought the other day--and by funny I don't mean literally funny like haha, but just interesting. Dan and I were talking about his friend Clayton (who also passed away) and different memories that Dan and his friends have with him. I just had this thought, and I looked up at that great big beautiful blue sky and thought to myself, "I can't wait to meet you." I have decided I like talking to Dan about Kam, and I love the way he lights up when he is talking about Kam. It makes me feel like I kind of know my other brother. I hope that when that day comes and I finally do get to meet him, I'll recognize him from all the stories that I've heard.

Anyway, back to scars, they're everywhere, and I feel like as a person, we're always trying to hide them. We don't want people to know that we're broken, or bleeding, or falling apart. We just don't. I don't know if that's the pride and arrogance of us as human beings coming out, or it's just we don't want people to know how badly we're really hurting inside, and that as long as we keep a brave face on a play the part, no one will ever know and we can silently hurt and attempt to put ourselves back together.

I have a good friend, in fact she's probably one of my best friends, that I had the priviledge to live with this last year in college. We'd always been "friends"-ish before, we'd played on the same softball team for a year or two, and she was dating and guy in my ward. So I saw her around. Anyway, she came down to Thatcher last year, and lived with me! It was by far one of the best experiences of my life. She's that friend that's not afraid to call it like it is and tell you to suck it up (and I needed that quite frequently). She's also that friend that has taught me so much about the importance of the gospel in keeping your life together amidst great tragedies.

She lost her brother in a terrible accident. I remember when it happened that I actually got a text from her boyfriend asking everyone to pray for Ben. Fast forward 2 years or so, and I can't tell you how many conversations we've had that lasted way into the small hours of the morning about all these scars on our lives. As we got to be better friends, I learned more about the scars she carries, and I've developed a great love and admiration for her, and anyone that has had a similar situation, the one who does keep going, even if it's just going through the motions for a while, but doesn't let that defeat them.

I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like right now without my brother. He has so much life and love and spirit in him and it's always bringing a smile to my face. I cannot wait to see him in just a few weeks, when my family is here for Thanksgiving.

But not to dwell on that, I really would like to know why we are always striving to hide these scars we carry? Everyone has them, and everyone will get at least one or two more by the time this life is over for each of us. I just hope and pray that when you see someone on the street, don't judge them by their appearance or their attitude or their demeanor. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. So be kinder than necessary, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Trust me, one day, you'll need that benefit when your scars hit you.

Faith

"All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired." -Martin Luther

I feel like lately we've hit quite the bump in the road. Trials are supposed to make us stronger. I know that they humble us and bring us closer to God if we approach them with the right attitude. Sometimes, though, it's just hard. Sometimes I think (very selfishly I might add) why can't we just catch a break?

Then I look at everything we've been blessed with. We just figured out today that we can BOTH stay on our parents insurance until we're 26! Not that we'll stay on that long, but that's a huge relief right now. We don't have to quite worry about paying for that just yet.

Dan has a job, and might possibly be getting another one! He applied and interviewed at Sportsman's Warehouse earlier this week. Ironically enough, they're hiring in the HUNTING department. How perfect would that be for him? Not only would he be working at one of his favorite stores, but he'd love it because it's a hunting/outdoors store. The job he has now is such a blessing. He's more than providing for us, and he gets to talk to people all the time (another thing he loves).

We have an AWESOME ward. Coming from Texas, I didn't have too high of expectations for this ward, but it's been nothing but warm and welcoming. I know I've mentioned this before, but there are quite a few other couples in our same situation-newly married, living in a basement, etc- but more than anything, the people are just nice. I've had someone new sit by me every week and talk to me. That's such a relief to be in a ward that actually takes the time to fellowship new members. I already feel a part of the ward and we've only gone for 4 Sundays. We're even making chili for the ward activity this month. It's a Chili/Dessert cookoff!

We have so many other things to be grateful for that will strengthen us through our trials. We're healthy and we have a roof over our heads. We have family that loves us and is praying for us as much as we're praying for them. More than anything, we strengthen each other together. I realize more and more every day that I need him more than anything in this life. Between he and I and the Lord, we'll make it through everything and anything.

Together. Forever.

Embrace your trials. They're a gift. If you ask the right questions, you'll make it through.

Don't judge.

I may or may not be having a complete breakdown. I just looked at the calendar and realized exactly how long we're going to be apart in September. I just balled. And I'm still balling.

So I've always known that a month is a long time...heck it took the month before we were married to go by FOREVER!!! But I was talking to my mom and talking about when we wanted to get all our stuff moved up to Provo and looking for apartments and such. I went to go take a look at the calendar and figure out when I would want to go, and I just died. I don't know if I'm strong enough for this. I don't know if I can keep myself together long enough to say goodbye for a little while through the whole first month of school.

My mom's right, I'll be fine. It's going to suck, but I'll be fine. I'm sure there's going to be many nights that I just fall asleep crying at night from the lack of a warm body next to me or someone to put their arms around me when I've had a bad dream, but I don't know how many of those nights there will be. I'm sure that there's going to be plenty of times that I call my sister and have her come spend the night just so I won't be alone.

I so so badly just want to be able to be okay with this, to buck up and grow a thicker skin, maybe lose a tear duct or two, but I just can't. I know how much better this will make things with Dan staying to work an extra month, but I guess when you know how much someone means to you and how much closer it's getting to you having to be apart from each other, it makes you realize even more how much you love them.

Just the other day, I was just giving Dan a hug and it just hit me how much I do love him. I really didn't think I could feel for someone this much. It's crazy how much more in love with him I am now than the day we got married. Not that I didn't love him then, but just how much it's grown. I was talking to my good friend Jaynee and she just told me to remember how much I love him now, and see how much it grows in the next month. She's so right.

Anyway, the tears have subsided for the time being so I'm going to hopefully get a few things done around the house, maybe watch a movie, look for scholarships (which if anyone has any tips on where to find good scholarships, let me know!! BYU isn't cheap! haha), and potential apartments. Oh and make dinner for my husband when he gets home!

In church on Sunday, the talk in Relief Society was "Why are LDS women incredible?" The teacher asked us to write down on a little piece of paper why we were incredible, not as a collective group of women, but as an individual.

WHY AM I INCREDIBLE?

I have a hard time answering these types of questions, mostly because I feel like I'm bragging about myself or something...so I still haven't written anything down.

So I am asking you: Why are YOU incredible?

Beginning to understand...this sucks

So I think I'm finally beginning to realize after almost 5 months of dating why it is that M bugs Dan so much. I honestly for the longest time had a pretty big problem with it because I just didn't understand why he couldn't just take my word for it that I wanted to be with him and not M and that that is never going to change. And it hit me like a freaking wall of bricks yesterday. It's just like peach. UGH I hate realization moments sometimes. They really suck a big one.

It's that uncertainty, that need to know that no matter what it's always going to be you that they want at the end of the day. I don't know why I can't let it go. I mean peach doesn't talk to him and sure as hell is not about to say one word to me at all--which quite frankly pisses me off because let's not even try and pretend that we don't have a history but let's instead play the silent treatment game. I really would much rather be pleasant to each other, say hello and smile and acknowledge each other's existence and that we do know each other. Instead it's this awkward strain every time I see peach or am in the same room. Freak, today at church I was walking down the hall with Dan and just the sight made my stomach turn in knots. I know he loves me and would never leave me but it's just hard ya know? I honestly never thought I'd be this bothered by peach being out of my life...but peach is still in it!! I see peach at least twice a week on a regular basis...thank you for being in my class. FML. Okay not that dramatic, but you get it. I know it's ridiculous, trust me I do. Abbie reminds me of that. And I know I have the best thing ever out of the whole situation, but it's one of those things that doesn't really bug you till you have one of those days, ya know?

I really can't wait to be in Utah...actually Texas. That will be SO AWESOME! End of story.

Aside from peach, my friend (and I use friend pretty loosely...we're more acquaintances) just got engaged and it keeps popping up in my news feed!! I'm honestly getting irritated seeing it and sometimes I can't help but feel that mines never gonna happen. I know we're supposed to be together and we're going to Texas together, but it's just feels so far away sometimes. It's happening. I know it is...but the anticipation is killing me! The little stinker doesn't tell me anything anymore, which I'm all for a surprise but sometimes a ball park idea of when would be awesome. But it's alright...good things come to those who wait. :]

Geez...reading back at this, I sound super hostile. This midol is sure not helping with the moodiness...oh heck it's not even moodiness, I just want to be with him. It's pathetic. But its all I want to do all the time, just to be with him running errands and doing whatever.

On a brighter note, it snowed for a little bit today in T-town. It was terribly exciting, so much so that we all stood outside and took pictures in it. You know you live in Arizona when you brave the elements to take pictures in the snow/hail outside your apartment.

Words to live by: If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song and prayer...you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed to find that He has come to trust you. --Henry B. Eyring

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....right?

Let's just lay this out straight: today has been a day from Hell. (I even capitalized it so it's not swearing--see Abbie I'm working on it!!) There's honestly no other way to put it without using any explitives--note: I haven't used ANY today. And yes I am patting myself on the back for it. You'll see why.

So I get up this morning knowing that I've got a crap ton of stuff to do today so that I can start nursing school in two weeks. First blow of the morning: processing my background check takes 4-6 weeks!! (WHY HELLO BLOW FROM WAY THE HECK OUT IN LEFT FIELD!) I only just found out I got into nursing school a week ago. Someone please tell me how I'm supposed to get all this done in that time frame. After much crying (yes I rediscovered my tear ducts today. They still work--no surprise), I put myself together as best I could and raced across the valley with my mother in tow to get all this stuff done.

Second blow of the morning: after talking to the nursing director (finally!) she informed me that I have to have the above mentioned fingerprints processed because that's a part of passing your cna. Apparently it's not enough to have a fingerprint clearance card, have passed my cna test, and have just found out that I got in so all of this crap does in fact HAVE to be done. Great.

Third blow of the morning: well the lady at the board of nursing said there's no way to make it go any faster. Screwed into the ground. Oh well, it still has to be done so at least I can get a job at a hospital and work as a cna.

So after much more crying and frustration--I tell you I'm such a girl. Abbie knows this...she has to suffer through it on a pretty regular basis--I came to the conclusion that it's probably not gonna happen for me this semester. It's just not lining up in a way that it's even plausible that it's gonna happen. I mean after all, 4 weeks doesn't shrink into 2. Talking to my mom in the car on the way home, it just is making a little more sense. She brought up an interesting point though. Maybe the test isn't actually getting in, maybe the test is saying no and having faith in the Lord that even though it's gonna take a little longer, I'll be a nurse one day. It's gonna happen.

Whew. So that puts a lot on my mind to think about for tonight. I've got a nice long list of all the things I've got to ask when I say my prayers. I hope He doesn't tire from hearing me. I feel like I've talked his ear off quite a lot lately. Maybe that's the other problem...I'm talking too much and not listening enough. It wouldn't be the first time.

So I'm doing it. I'm gonna let it go, and trust the Lord. He knows what's best and He's got the best perspective from way up there I'm sure.

Now it's just off to order books and figure out where I'm going to school next year. Any suggestions? Except Idaho...sorry Kendra--it's just too stinkin cold up there! :]

A cuss word cause it's Monday.

It's been one of those days. You know. The days where nothing really goes wrong, it's just all irritating. And yes...I'm blaming Mother Nature again. What a little pest sometimes. Honestly, why can't she just take it all out in one blow? Instead, she insists upon draggin the little bugger out. Oh well, life goes on.

Okay, I'm listening to Alanis Morissette, and she pretty much knows just what to say and exactly how to say it. I'm feeling that it fits my mood perfectly. Slightly melancholy and a little irritated. You live, you learn, you laugh, you learns, you cry, you learn, you lose, you learn, you bleed, you learn, you scream, you learn. I guess all this irritation is for me to learn patience. Ugh...trials: why do you have to be so blatently honest and in front of my face. I ALREADY KNOW I NEED TO WORK ON IT!!

Enough with the dramatics. Today's been a day. Just one of them that's not terrible, but not great. I feel like I just repeated myself...oh wait...I did. Great. And to take it back from earlier, this attitude is probably my fault. Crap. So if I just admitted that, that means I have to own up to it and change it. Seriously this sucks.

So two hours later...much happier. Well sort of. Actually, I'm pretty exhausted, but I guess that's what I get for it being 1145 at night! All of my homework for this week so far is done though, and THAT never happens! Wahoo go team.

Dan brought up an interesting idea tonight to me, and I thought I'd share. He asked if I could wish for anything, what would it be? Not anything ridiculous like super powers, but something real. I still haven't thought of what I would wish for. I guess I kind of feel like in wishing for something, I'm not happy with where I'm at, but it is nice to wonder sometimes. If I had one wish though, it wouldn't be to take anything back or undo any decisions, because every single one of them got me here, and I'm happy. Honestly happy. Life is crazy, and that's never going to change. But I am happy. And that is something I hope never changes.