Three things in mind today...I'll give you short preview so you don't have to read the whole thing. 1. Abbie came home Friday freaking out about hcg. 2. my roommates and I had an interesting conversation about sex. 3. Dan is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Abbie came home freaking out about hcg on Friday after her biology class. She's practically in a panic that she could potentially not have children because hcg can shut down your repo system. It was seriously hilarious because I was just waiting for something to come out saying that hcg was bad for you in some way, because in reality, anything that is that great and that much of a miracle weight loss drug...there has to be some sort of negative effect. Anyway, off my soap box, it was hilarious.
Sunday night, Nicole made the comment that Hope and Jodi told her to never get glow in the dark condoms because "then you see it coming at you swinging." Anyway, needless to say, the rest of the conversation was pretty freaking hilarious. It went all over the place...and it was so funny. We ended up sharing little bits of advice we've heard about what to do or not to do. Collectively...you'd think we're all pretty experienced.
So lastly, and I'm sorry if you don't want to read lovey dovey stuff...you should probably stop now and call this reading done. I love Dan. He was made for me. Yesterday was just not a good day, and I could blame it on a lot of things (namely birth control, $$ stress, and just general wedding planning stress) but that's not the point. The point is I was at my breaking point. I got a phone call from my mom. She told me my dress had gotten shipped to the wrong address, so they were making a new one and it wouldn't make it on time for my wedding. (Shit). Then she told me she was getting it made by someone else and it would be at my house by the end of the month. It was the point that it spilled over. I've been looking forward to trying it on for at least a couple of days now. I just started crying in the institute. I didn't even know what to do, because every little thing I cried harder. Dan finished filling out his home teaching reports and we came back to my apartment. He wanted to watch Tangled, so we popped some popcorn, put the movie in my computer, watched it on my bed. Now this is just one reaffirmation that he was made for me. He watched the movie and I just snuggled up next to him and fell asleep. We didn't have to talk about why I am an emotional wreck and crying all the time, he just loves me anyway and lets me sleep.
As much as he'd probably like to know exactly what I'm feeling, sometimes you just can't talk about it. It's not that you don't want to, you just can't. Maybe I'm crazy and the only one that feels that way. But I love him.
Its funny, we actually got in a fight today about something dumb (well it seems super dumb now) but he was pretty peeved at me for throwing water at him before he went to class. So it was all of this back and forth and blows below the belt, but I realized that I'm getting married to the most amazing person that I've ever met in 31 days. And forgive me for going all gospel right now, but Satan's going to do everything to prevent that. So SCREW YOU SATAN!! I'm walking out of the temple doors on May 13th and there's nothing he can do to prevent that. This is my choice. And it's for forever.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Stop trying to find my dirty underwear
So I had done my laundry (the whites) earlier yesterday and they were on my bed in a pile because I had pulled them out of the laundry and then jumped in the shower--we had just gotten back from an adventure down the canal. So my delicates weren't on parade, but they were sitting rolled up in my sheets, in a pile, on my bed.
Dan and I were sitting on my bed and I was folding the shirts and keeping the delicates in a secretive pile under my pillowcase. WELL...Dan, lovely Dan, starts pulling out the rest of my laundry from being twisted up in the sheets! My underwear was getting PULLED OUT FROM HIDING!! At first, he was embarrassed and said he didn't mean to do it...well then he started doing it just to mess around with me!
So I yelled at him to stop trying to find my dirty underwear! What's even funnier was that there were a few people over that were sitting in our living room....so they probably heard me. Because he refused to quit bugging me, I grabbed a handful and threw it at him. Haha. It was pretty funny...mostly because he was so shocked.
Earlier in the evening yesterday, we were at a meeting for EDGE, the company Dan is working for this summer. Kristi King was trying to use her husband, Shannon, as a footrest. Shannon said, "Dan and I do not have the same color of skin." Kristi, after pondering this for a second, responds, "He's not black!" Oh man...we were laughing so freaking hard. Haha they're hilarious.
This morning, Jacie came over and was talking to Abbie and I for a little bit. Tayler came by to see her and say hello, and Tayler saw Abbie's jeans hanging dry over the banister. He made the comment that whoever's jeans those were had no butt. So Jacie came back into our apartment and told us what he said. Abbie said she was offended. Then Jacie startes yelling out the window at him Tayler!!! TAYLER!!! (I said Jacie maybe if you yell louder he'll hear you) TAYLER!!!!!!!!! Well...he heard her. Haha.
She said, and I quote: Tayler! Abbie is offended you said she has no butt! He shrugged his shoulders.
Pretty much, Jacie Ames is hilarious. Abbie...is just Abbie. and... Daniel Haban is the love of my life. End of story.
Great quote I heard yesterday:
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. --Winston Churchill
Dan and I were sitting on my bed and I was folding the shirts and keeping the delicates in a secretive pile under my pillowcase. WELL...Dan, lovely Dan, starts pulling out the rest of my laundry from being twisted up in the sheets! My underwear was getting PULLED OUT FROM HIDING!! At first, he was embarrassed and said he didn't mean to do it...well then he started doing it just to mess around with me!
So I yelled at him to stop trying to find my dirty underwear! What's even funnier was that there were a few people over that were sitting in our living room....so they probably heard me. Because he refused to quit bugging me, I grabbed a handful and threw it at him. Haha. It was pretty funny...mostly because he was so shocked.
Earlier in the evening yesterday, we were at a meeting for EDGE, the company Dan is working for this summer. Kristi King was trying to use her husband, Shannon, as a footrest. Shannon said, "Dan and I do not have the same color of skin." Kristi, after pondering this for a second, responds, "He's not black!" Oh man...we were laughing so freaking hard. Haha they're hilarious.
This morning, Jacie came over and was talking to Abbie and I for a little bit. Tayler came by to see her and say hello, and Tayler saw Abbie's jeans hanging dry over the banister. He made the comment that whoever's jeans those were had no butt. So Jacie came back into our apartment and told us what he said. Abbie said she was offended. Then Jacie startes yelling out the window at him Tayler!!! TAYLER!!! (I said Jacie maybe if you yell louder he'll hear you) TAYLER!!!!!!!!! Well...he heard her. Haha.
She said, and I quote: Tayler! Abbie is offended you said she has no butt! He shrugged his shoulders.
Pretty much, Jacie Ames is hilarious. Abbie...is just Abbie. and... Daniel Haban is the love of my life. End of story.
Great quote I heard yesterday:
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. --Winston Churchill
Saturday, March 26, 2011
It really sucks when
You want to talk to your fiance and you're super excited about it....and then out of no where the conversation heads south. And I mean wayyyy south. SUCK A FISH!!!
Seriously, this has FML written ALL OVER IT.
It's really hard to even pretend to enjoy spring break and trying to plan a wedding when they just aren't happy and their upset that they can't see you. Well so am I! But you don't see me crying about it every freaking day. It's life. We knew it was going to suck when we signed up for this. So you have a good cry, and press on. It still sucks, but you don't let it affect your each and every moment. Maybe I keep too much inside, but seriously, I've been depressed enough all week about it and I was actually having a great day all day and now I'm just pissed.
Ironically, great quote I found on Monday when we were shopping:
"If you want to be happy, be."
Seriously, this has FML written ALL OVER IT.
It's really hard to even pretend to enjoy spring break and trying to plan a wedding when they just aren't happy and their upset that they can't see you. Well so am I! But you don't see me crying about it every freaking day. It's life. We knew it was going to suck when we signed up for this. So you have a good cry, and press on. It still sucks, but you don't let it affect your each and every moment. Maybe I keep too much inside, but seriously, I've been depressed enough all week about it and I was actually having a great day all day and now I'm just pissed.
Ironically, great quote I found on Monday when we were shopping:
"If you want to be happy, be."
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Spring Break Fever
Stressor to the max. I've even got the break out to prove it. Sucks. So let's start from the beginning shall we?
Thursday of last week, Dan and I drove up to the valley for Shawn and Erin Nimmer's wedding. The drive was fine, and then when we got up there, we had a couple of hours to spare, so we went to register at Target. Okay, for some reason, every little thing lately is stressing me out to the point that I just want to cry about everything. We walk into Target, and get set up for everything, and take the gun to go scanner happy. Well, for some strange reason, I just got seriously irritated with Dan about nothing! I feel so bad for him...and I've got no reason for any of it. I'm just a freaking emotional roller coaster. So pretty much I was stressed about figuring out colors for my bedroom! Are you kidding me?! Honestly, all the big things I'm not too worried about, but all the small stupid insignificant things that don't even matter are stressing me out to no end!
So long story short, registering ended up being pretty fun, especially when we got to the kitchen aisle and to the movies! It was awesome! Then we had to get to the temple, but we stopped at In N Out before. Yumm! But the chocolate shake was a little too much. So Dan gets to the temple and I sat under a tree and waited for them to be done. Well, sitting under that tree, I suddenly got really excited to be married to Dan. I can't wait to walk out of those doors. It's going to be the BEST DAY EVER!
After they got out of the temple, I got super duper sick. It sucked so bad. Killer migraine+HEAT=sick sick sick. I couldn't even go to the reception that night. So thank goodness for bryson and kassidy. They let me just crash on their couch and watch greys anatomy episodes. By the end of the night, I ended up feeling so much better.
Friday we drove back, and spent the evening planning for the wedding. Then later in the week, I was picking out wedding invitations--worst thing ever! Seriously there are so many different types and it's ridiculous. TO pick out just one...ugh. So anyway, I ended up picking one and my mom didn't like it. GREAT. Then she steered me in the direction of the ones that would be more "theme appropriate" for my wedding. So I was thinking to myself: why the heck didn't she just show me those ones in the first place?! Well I ended picking one, and 4 different revisions later, ended up picking out a final announcement.
Seriously, weddings are so much strain on the mother/daughter relationship. It's awful. My mom and I don't fight about too much of anything. We're pretty level headed in that we can talk it out...but seriously, I feel like we're fighting about everything...and stupid stuff at that. I know she's not trying to stress me out, and I'm trying to be nice and not get upset with her. But it is so hard...so so hard. I was in tears over my announcement the other day because it wasn't what I wanted. Don't worry, it's just perfect now.
Anyway, I just made cookies...and I'm feeling extremely fat and frumpy lately. I need to go work out. I have a dress to fit into. Seriously. So no more soda, and no more eating out. I've got to get my butt in gear...especially since I'm gonna start taking birth control--and let's face it, that just makes everyone fat. YUCK.
So long story short, I've got spring break fever...bad. I can't wait to get out of this town and back home. I don't want to be away from Dan, but I need to get so much done, and I don't want to take out my stress on him. So it's probably best that we take a little break. I don't want to, but sometimes you've got to do things you don't want to. End of story.
Thursday of last week, Dan and I drove up to the valley for Shawn and Erin Nimmer's wedding. The drive was fine, and then when we got up there, we had a couple of hours to spare, so we went to register at Target. Okay, for some reason, every little thing lately is stressing me out to the point that I just want to cry about everything. We walk into Target, and get set up for everything, and take the gun to go scanner happy. Well, for some strange reason, I just got seriously irritated with Dan about nothing! I feel so bad for him...and I've got no reason for any of it. I'm just a freaking emotional roller coaster. So pretty much I was stressed about figuring out colors for my bedroom! Are you kidding me?! Honestly, all the big things I'm not too worried about, but all the small stupid insignificant things that don't even matter are stressing me out to no end!
So long story short, registering ended up being pretty fun, especially when we got to the kitchen aisle and to the movies! It was awesome! Then we had to get to the temple, but we stopped at In N Out before. Yumm! But the chocolate shake was a little too much. So Dan gets to the temple and I sat under a tree and waited for them to be done. Well, sitting under that tree, I suddenly got really excited to be married to Dan. I can't wait to walk out of those doors. It's going to be the BEST DAY EVER!
After they got out of the temple, I got super duper sick. It sucked so bad. Killer migraine+HEAT=sick sick sick. I couldn't even go to the reception that night. So thank goodness for bryson and kassidy. They let me just crash on their couch and watch greys anatomy episodes. By the end of the night, I ended up feeling so much better.
Friday we drove back, and spent the evening planning for the wedding. Then later in the week, I was picking out wedding invitations--worst thing ever! Seriously there are so many different types and it's ridiculous. TO pick out just one...ugh. So anyway, I ended up picking one and my mom didn't like it. GREAT. Then she steered me in the direction of the ones that would be more "theme appropriate" for my wedding. So I was thinking to myself: why the heck didn't she just show me those ones in the first place?! Well I ended picking one, and 4 different revisions later, ended up picking out a final announcement.
Seriously, weddings are so much strain on the mother/daughter relationship. It's awful. My mom and I don't fight about too much of anything. We're pretty level headed in that we can talk it out...but seriously, I feel like we're fighting about everything...and stupid stuff at that. I know she's not trying to stress me out, and I'm trying to be nice and not get upset with her. But it is so hard...so so hard. I was in tears over my announcement the other day because it wasn't what I wanted. Don't worry, it's just perfect now.
Anyway, I just made cookies...and I'm feeling extremely fat and frumpy lately. I need to go work out. I have a dress to fit into. Seriously. So no more soda, and no more eating out. I've got to get my butt in gear...especially since I'm gonna start taking birth control--and let's face it, that just makes everyone fat. YUCK.
So long story short, I've got spring break fever...bad. I can't wait to get out of this town and back home. I don't want to be away from Dan, but I need to get so much done, and I don't want to take out my stress on him. So it's probably best that we take a little break. I don't want to, but sometimes you've got to do things you don't want to. End of story.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Beginning to understand...this sucks
So I think I'm finally beginning to realize after almost 5 months of dating why it is that M bugs Dan so much. I honestly for the longest time had a pretty big problem with it because I just didn't understand why he couldn't just take my word for it that I wanted to be with him and not M and that that is never going to change. And it hit me like a freaking wall of bricks yesterday. It's just like peach. UGH I hate realization moments sometimes. They really suck a big one.
It's that uncertainty, that need to know that no matter what it's always going to be you that they want at the end of the day. I don't know why I can't let it go. I mean peach doesn't talk to him and sure as hell is not about to say one word to me at all--which quite frankly pisses me off because let's not even try and pretend that we don't have a history but let's instead play the silent treatment game. I really would much rather be pleasant to each other, say hello and smile and acknowledge each other's existence and that we do know each other. Instead it's this awkward strain every time I see peach or am in the same room. Freak, today at church I was walking down the hall with Dan and just the sight made my stomach turn in knots. I know he loves me and would never leave me but it's just hard ya know? I honestly never thought I'd be this bothered by peach being out of my life...but peach is still in it!! I see peach at least twice a week on a regular basis...thank you for being in my class. FML. Okay not that dramatic, but you get it. I know it's ridiculous, trust me I do. Abbie reminds me of that. And I know I have the best thing ever out of the whole situation, but it's one of those things that doesn't really bug you till you have one of those days, ya know?
I really can't wait to be in Utah...actually Texas. That will be SO AWESOME! End of story.
Aside from peach, my friend (and I use friend pretty loosely...we're more acquaintances) just got engaged and it keeps popping up in my news feed!! I'm honestly getting irritated seeing it and sometimes I can't help but feel that mines never gonna happen. I know we're supposed to be together and we're going to Texas together, but it's just feels so far away sometimes. It's happening. I know it is...but the anticipation is killing me! The little stinker doesn't tell me anything anymore, which I'm all for a surprise but sometimes a ball park idea of when would be awesome. But it's alright...good things come to those who wait. :]
Geez...reading back at this, I sound super hostile. This midol is sure not helping with the moodiness...oh heck it's not even moodiness, I just want to be with him. It's pathetic. But its all I want to do all the time, just to be with him running errands and doing whatever.
On a brighter note, it snowed for a little bit today in T-town. It was terribly exciting, so much so that we all stood outside and took pictures in it. You know you live in Arizona when you brave the elements to take pictures in the snow/hail outside your apartment.
Words to live by: If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song and prayer...you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed to find that He has come to trust you. --Henry B. Eyring
It's that uncertainty, that need to know that no matter what it's always going to be you that they want at the end of the day. I don't know why I can't let it go. I mean peach doesn't talk to him and sure as hell is not about to say one word to me at all--which quite frankly pisses me off because let's not even try and pretend that we don't have a history but let's instead play the silent treatment game. I really would much rather be pleasant to each other, say hello and smile and acknowledge each other's existence and that we do know each other. Instead it's this awkward strain every time I see peach or am in the same room. Freak, today at church I was walking down the hall with Dan and just the sight made my stomach turn in knots. I know he loves me and would never leave me but it's just hard ya know? I honestly never thought I'd be this bothered by peach being out of my life...but peach is still in it!! I see peach at least twice a week on a regular basis...thank you for being in my class. FML. Okay not that dramatic, but you get it. I know it's ridiculous, trust me I do. Abbie reminds me of that. And I know I have the best thing ever out of the whole situation, but it's one of those things that doesn't really bug you till you have one of those days, ya know?
I really can't wait to be in Utah...actually Texas. That will be SO AWESOME! End of story.
Aside from peach, my friend (and I use friend pretty loosely...we're more acquaintances) just got engaged and it keeps popping up in my news feed!! I'm honestly getting irritated seeing it and sometimes I can't help but feel that mines never gonna happen. I know we're supposed to be together and we're going to Texas together, but it's just feels so far away sometimes. It's happening. I know it is...but the anticipation is killing me! The little stinker doesn't tell me anything anymore, which I'm all for a surprise but sometimes a ball park idea of when would be awesome. But it's alright...good things come to those who wait. :]
Geez...reading back at this, I sound super hostile. This midol is sure not helping with the moodiness...oh heck it's not even moodiness, I just want to be with him. It's pathetic. But its all I want to do all the time, just to be with him running errands and doing whatever.
On a brighter note, it snowed for a little bit today in T-town. It was terribly exciting, so much so that we all stood outside and took pictures in it. You know you live in Arizona when you brave the elements to take pictures in the snow/hail outside your apartment.
Words to live by: If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song and prayer...you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed to find that He has come to trust you. --Henry B. Eyring
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Classic
Perfect example of why I love him...
He goes to hockey games with me.
He goes to hockey games with me.
He leaves cute notes on my bathroom mirror.
Let's me leave RIDICULOUS hearts all over his windows.
Makes me DELICIOUS steak dinners.
Yes...I'm spoiled. I know. :]
Dresses all "matchy matchy" with me.
Wears cute mechanic outfits. Such a handyman!
Plays dress up in my shortie shorts...and then poses for a picture. NOTE: ignore the bras hanging up in the background.
Takes me fishing.
Leaves the most adorable notes all over my door.
So he's just about the greatest thing ever. And I think everyone should know. The end.
Leprosy and a Pimple...WTH?!?!
I'm convinced God has a sense of humor, because 1. I went to bed already starting to peel from my lovely sunburn, and 2. I woke up this morning with the works of a HUGE pimple coming along. GREAT. It makes it even better that Abbie says this, and I quote: I have no sympathy for you. Haha love you Abbs!!
Seriously though, it sucked...and pretty much made me want to hide out all day...well for the rest of the week at least until this peeling thing settles down. The pimple I can live with, shoot that's why there is make up! But seriously, peeling is just down right nasty! Yuck!! I hate it and it's my own skin!!
It's pretty funny though because Dan came by in between classes to see me (awwww) and I just didn't even want to see him! Okay, let me rephrase that, I did want to see him more than anything, but I didn't want him to see me. Understandable right? So I just covered half my face and said I look disgusting! Which this is most definitely truth, and I wasn't compliment fishing at all...just saying how I felt about the whole "sloughing of the fried skin" look.
Let's just say that I've got the best boyfriend ever...because he still thought I looked good. Maybe because he's supposed to, maybe because that's what girls usually want to hear, but maybe because he really loves me for me...good day or bad one. And I love him too. Presh.
Anyway...point of story: I have leprosy and a pimple and am in dire need of a shower, especially to make an appearance at Dan's basketball game tonight. Haha...sooooo vain sometimes. But hey everyone is entitled to those moments every now and again right? Which brings me to the real question: should I wear my hair curly or straight?
Seriously though, it sucked...and pretty much made me want to hide out all day...well for the rest of the week at least until this peeling thing settles down. The pimple I can live with, shoot that's why there is make up! But seriously, peeling is just down right nasty! Yuck!! I hate it and it's my own skin!!
It's pretty funny though because Dan came by in between classes to see me (awwww) and I just didn't even want to see him! Okay, let me rephrase that, I did want to see him more than anything, but I didn't want him to see me. Understandable right? So I just covered half my face and said I look disgusting! Which this is most definitely truth, and I wasn't compliment fishing at all...just saying how I felt about the whole "sloughing of the fried skin" look.
Let's just say that I've got the best boyfriend ever...because he still thought I looked good. Maybe because he's supposed to, maybe because that's what girls usually want to hear, but maybe because he really loves me for me...good day or bad one. And I love him too. Presh.
Anyway...point of story: I have leprosy and a pimple and am in dire need of a shower, especially to make an appearance at Dan's basketball game tonight. Haha...sooooo vain sometimes. But hey everyone is entitled to those moments every now and again right? Which brings me to the real question: should I wear my hair curly or straight?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Well I've been afraid of changing
"...cause I've built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too."
Alright that doesn't really have anything to do with my blog post. Actually it has nothing to do with it, it was just the song that was playing when I started writing this...or rather thinking up what to write. As of late, I've been terrible about blogging. But lets look at the facts: 1. I'm not cute and married. 2. I don't have kids to tell funny stories about. and 3. Well life has been pretty entertaining lately, but I just don't have the time to sit down and write it all. (I'll probably wish I had one day...oh well).
So last night Dan and I were just talking about his brother and we don't really talk about it too much. I'm not uncomfortable asking him about it, but it makes me so sad because I think of my little brother (crap I'm crying already and I haven't even typed that much! Ahh I really hate being a girl sometimes) and just how much that would impact my life, how much I love that little man and how I have always looked forward to seeing him get the priesthood in a few years and then go on mission a few years after that and then getting married one day. I've always been excited to have one more sister!
Back on topic: the thought crossed my mind about being on the flip side of that situation and having that happen to your best friend or husband. I don't really know a whole lot about the situation and I've never met Dan's sister in law, but I just started crying last night. Its funny how the thought of losing someone makes you realize how much you can't live without them. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. Yeah he's a pain in the butt sometimes and knows just how to push my buttons, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. The little stinker made me fall in love with him!
I was thinking about lots of people that I know and how much so many of them have had to deal with in their lives and not to compare my life and my trials with theirs, but for comparison's sake, my life has been relatively easy, which makes me absolutely terrified for what is ahead. I look at those people that have had to deal with a lot more than maybe they probably deserved, but they have come out on top, and they are some of the strongest people I know. I envy that strength just a little bit, in that they have it and could probably conquer the world with it if they wanted. I hope this is making sense, because it sounds pretty good in my head but might not be coming out so well.
I was reading my patriarchal blessing a few nights ago and it mentions that I've been blessed for the family I've been put into, and thinking about it just now makes me realize how truly blessed I am. I've never questioned whether or not I was loved, I've always known that my parents love each other (even though my sisters and I scream and yell THATS GROSS when they kiss each other). I've been truly and richly blessed in my life with perfect examples of hard work and love and making a marriage and a family work. My family is not perfect by any means, and I'm sure we could give some people and run for their money with how much we fight sometimes, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't doubt that we would kill for each other.
Nothing is ever going to be perfect in our lives, and there are always going to be trials. Life is never going to be easy, but it will always be worth it. I don't want to live a day without my best friend, but if that is what is asked of me one day, I hope that I can face fire and keep on fighting. I hope that I can always live worthy to go to the temple and feel the peace that it has to offer. I am so grateful for the blessings I've been given in the best roommates, especially Abbie. We get a long pretty dang good and I'm so glad that she wanted to live with me! She is so strong and is a perfect example of taking it each day at a time: some days you slip and other days you're on top of the world.
Anyway, that is all. Now that I'm looking at it, this starts off super depressing. Woops! Not what I meant to do at all. But at least it's out there and off my chest for a little while.
Off to the gym! Tootles :]
Some food for thought. Swish it around in your mouth and think about it:
"In the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
Alright that doesn't really have anything to do with my blog post. Actually it has nothing to do with it, it was just the song that was playing when I started writing this...or rather thinking up what to write. As of late, I've been terrible about blogging. But lets look at the facts: 1. I'm not cute and married. 2. I don't have kids to tell funny stories about. and 3. Well life has been pretty entertaining lately, but I just don't have the time to sit down and write it all. (I'll probably wish I had one day...oh well).
So last night Dan and I were just talking about his brother and we don't really talk about it too much. I'm not uncomfortable asking him about it, but it makes me so sad because I think of my little brother (crap I'm crying already and I haven't even typed that much! Ahh I really hate being a girl sometimes) and just how much that would impact my life, how much I love that little man and how I have always looked forward to seeing him get the priesthood in a few years and then go on mission a few years after that and then getting married one day. I've always been excited to have one more sister!
Back on topic: the thought crossed my mind about being on the flip side of that situation and having that happen to your best friend or husband. I don't really know a whole lot about the situation and I've never met Dan's sister in law, but I just started crying last night. Its funny how the thought of losing someone makes you realize how much you can't live without them. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. Yeah he's a pain in the butt sometimes and knows just how to push my buttons, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. The little stinker made me fall in love with him!
I was thinking about lots of people that I know and how much so many of them have had to deal with in their lives and not to compare my life and my trials with theirs, but for comparison's sake, my life has been relatively easy, which makes me absolutely terrified for what is ahead. I look at those people that have had to deal with a lot more than maybe they probably deserved, but they have come out on top, and they are some of the strongest people I know. I envy that strength just a little bit, in that they have it and could probably conquer the world with it if they wanted. I hope this is making sense, because it sounds pretty good in my head but might not be coming out so well.
I was reading my patriarchal blessing a few nights ago and it mentions that I've been blessed for the family I've been put into, and thinking about it just now makes me realize how truly blessed I am. I've never questioned whether or not I was loved, I've always known that my parents love each other (even though my sisters and I scream and yell THATS GROSS when they kiss each other). I've been truly and richly blessed in my life with perfect examples of hard work and love and making a marriage and a family work. My family is not perfect by any means, and I'm sure we could give some people and run for their money with how much we fight sometimes, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't doubt that we would kill for each other.
Nothing is ever going to be perfect in our lives, and there are always going to be trials. Life is never going to be easy, but it will always be worth it. I don't want to live a day without my best friend, but if that is what is asked of me one day, I hope that I can face fire and keep on fighting. I hope that I can always live worthy to go to the temple and feel the peace that it has to offer. I am so grateful for the blessings I've been given in the best roommates, especially Abbie. We get a long pretty dang good and I'm so glad that she wanted to live with me! She is so strong and is a perfect example of taking it each day at a time: some days you slip and other days you're on top of the world.
Anyway, that is all. Now that I'm looking at it, this starts off super depressing. Woops! Not what I meant to do at all. But at least it's out there and off my chest for a little while.
Off to the gym! Tootles :]
Some food for thought. Swish it around in your mouth and think about it:
"In the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I wanna run smash into you
So maybe I kinda like you just a little bit...
And maybe I really want to go to Texas...
And maybe I don't ever want to let you go...
And maybe I wanna stay with you...for a long long time...maybe forever...
And maybe all these "maybes" are actualities.
In fact...I'm pretty sure they are.
I know they are.
I love you.
And maybe I really want to go to Texas...
And maybe I don't ever want to let you go...
And maybe I wanna stay with you...for a long long time...maybe forever...
And maybe all these "maybes" are actualities.
In fact...I'm pretty sure they are.
I know they are.
I love you.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
There she goes...There she goes again...
Wow this was a freakin awesome weekend!! I mean, most of our weekends end up being pretty legit, but this one was SAWEET! Brief overview: Pizza and Ice Cream making date on Friday, Caves on Saturday, In-N-Out after the caves, Dan teaching church on Sunday, epic heist of a coveted DVD, classes on Monday, and the RAIN, FHE Monday night with Howie--it's not as bad as it sounds, and ending the night with my love. Woo!! I'm already excited about writing this! Let's get started!!
The date was super fun!! I'm glad I had Dan though...because the company wasn't exactly my favorite in the entire world. Alright, let's just be honest, they bug me...especially since one of them does not like me at all but puts on the super nice "oh how are you?!" face--psh like they actually care. Haha. Whatever. It was fun though making the pizza and putting all the toppings and stuff. Dan is pretty much a pro pizza maker! We played Just Dance on the wii while the pizza cooked and Dan and I won almost every time. It was probably the remote...haha who am I kidding...Dan and I are AMAZING dancers! After the pizza, we had homemade ice cream!! Nothing short of delicious! We went over to the institute to watch Despicable Me afterwards. It was the YSA activity for Friday night. If you haven't seen it, I'd totally recommend it.
After the movie, we all went over to Tiffany's house and had cake and ice cream for Jacquelyn's birthday. Then Kacey the Magnifico arrived!! She did some awesome magic tricks...and we're hiring her for Abbie's birthday for sure!
Saturday, we headed down to Tucson to go caving! Yes we were climbing through small passageways and ended up covered in dirt and crap all over ourselves. There was even a dog with a flashlight around his collar who followed us around for a little bit. We found one of the lakes that is in the cave and Rustin Jones, Jared Haymore, and Travis Catt all jumped in and were swimming around in there for a little bit. YUCK!! They said it felt pretty good actually, but I wasn't about ready to jump in stagnant water. Who the heck knows what is growing in there! We made it to the book this time!! All of us made it! Well except for Jared Haymore, Dan and Kendall Rapier. They decided to go off on their own adventure and got left behind. We signed their names anyway.
After we got out of the caves, we went to In-N-Out for dinner. Oh my goodness I forgot how much I love that place! It might have been because I was so hungry that anything honestly sounded good, but it was super yummy and made my tummy quite happy. On the drive back, Rustin mooned Tiffany's car as we passed them. As soon as we got off the off-ramp, we pulled over because Rustin had to pee. We drove a little ways up the road just to mess with him and we see this car pull up and just shine their lights on him. Turns out, it was Tiffany's car and they stayed there and were dancing for all the cars that passed them while waiting for us. Apparently they didn't realize that we'd passed them a LONG time before that. Haha.
Sunday morning, I went to Dan's ward because he was teaching combined Priesthood/Relief Society. His and Natalie's lesson was so good. I think my favorite part was when they talked about how important it is to be modest and morally clean. Natalie said that if a guy is trying to spend the night or is letting you spend the night, he's not respecting you as a daughter of God.
Sunday night, we may or may not have participated in the heist of a certain DVD. It's still up for debate as to whether we were active participants or not. If it did happen, it was quite thrilling, and Abbie and I certainly got a good work out from it when we ran back to our apartment.
Monday was the same old same. Except holy cow stressful! BYU application was due Feb 1 and I had to get so much crap done for it. I guess it doesn't really help that I'm a killer procrastinator so I was writing my essays in between my patho class and my sociology class. But hey it all got done and before 4 pm and that's all that counts. So I went to my writing class and peach is in that class, but get this: we don't even acknowledge each others existence. It's honestly quite irritating...and I'm not even sure why because it shouldn't bug me but it really does. OH it gets even better though...peach deleted me from facebook. BAHAHA I almost friend requested peach but then I thought better of it and decided who cares.
SIDE NOTE: it's been raining!! and blowing up a hellish storm. It's somewhat irritating and I had a super hard time getting out of bed this morning because I just wanted to stay curled up in my bed and read a book.
Monday night we went to FHE and learned about the 10 commandments and the little actions that go with it. So the guy that taught the lesson...well let's call him Howie. So Howie comes up and starts talking to me after FHE. We were eating dessert and everyone else was playing bump out. At the risk of sounding super conceited, he was definitely flirting it up with me asking all the questions: OH I didn't catch your name? How long have you been here? Blah blah blah. Well I immediated decided I had to nip this one in the butt fast so that I a. Don't lead him on. and b. could still potentially be friends--alright acquaintances--if I see him at church and stuff. So I noticed he had a sports med shirt on and asked him if he worked down in the training room at all. He answered yes and so I had a way to bring up Dan without being ridiculously obvious about it. The next part of the conversation goes as follows:
Me: Oh so you do you work down there (the training room) a lot?
Howie: Yeah I do!
Me: That's cool. So do you know Dan?!
H: Umm maybe?
Me: He's short and brown.
H: Oh yeah I know him, he's pretty cool, helps me out a lot.
Me: That's awesome! He's my boyfriend!
H: Oh your boyfriend?!
Me: Yeah!
H: Wow.....cool.
OHHH man I had to keep myself from laughing because it really was quite funny but sad at the same time. I didn't mean to be so cut and dry, but hey he'll thank me later when he doesn't have to waste time on me right?
I'd say it's been a pretty eventful weekend and it can only get better. Raegan is wearing a moo moo and looks like an old lady with stage make up on that she had to do in class. Point made. And now we are off to visit Hannah.
Making fettucini alfredo tonight for the roommates and my love. Hopefully this time I won't burn it...the distraction will be in class. ;] Well idk...Raegan might be a huge distraction right now...she's walking around with a big butt shake. Hahaha I love my roommates what can I say.
:] LOVE MY LIFE.
The date was super fun!! I'm glad I had Dan though...because the company wasn't exactly my favorite in the entire world. Alright, let's just be honest, they bug me...especially since one of them does not like me at all but puts on the super nice "oh how are you?!" face--psh like they actually care. Haha. Whatever. It was fun though making the pizza and putting all the toppings and stuff. Dan is pretty much a pro pizza maker! We played Just Dance on the wii while the pizza cooked and Dan and I won almost every time. It was probably the remote...haha who am I kidding...Dan and I are AMAZING dancers! After the pizza, we had homemade ice cream!! Nothing short of delicious! We went over to the institute to watch Despicable Me afterwards. It was the YSA activity for Friday night. If you haven't seen it, I'd totally recommend it.
After the movie, we all went over to Tiffany's house and had cake and ice cream for Jacquelyn's birthday. Then Kacey the Magnifico arrived!! She did some awesome magic tricks...and we're hiring her for Abbie's birthday for sure!
Saturday, we headed down to Tucson to go caving! Yes we were climbing through small passageways and ended up covered in dirt and crap all over ourselves. There was even a dog with a flashlight around his collar who followed us around for a little bit. We found one of the lakes that is in the cave and Rustin Jones, Jared Haymore, and Travis Catt all jumped in and were swimming around in there for a little bit. YUCK!! They said it felt pretty good actually, but I wasn't about ready to jump in stagnant water. Who the heck knows what is growing in there! We made it to the book this time!! All of us made it! Well except for Jared Haymore, Dan and Kendall Rapier. They decided to go off on their own adventure and got left behind. We signed their names anyway.
After we got out of the caves, we went to In-N-Out for dinner. Oh my goodness I forgot how much I love that place! It might have been because I was so hungry that anything honestly sounded good, but it was super yummy and made my tummy quite happy. On the drive back, Rustin mooned Tiffany's car as we passed them. As soon as we got off the off-ramp, we pulled over because Rustin had to pee. We drove a little ways up the road just to mess with him and we see this car pull up and just shine their lights on him. Turns out, it was Tiffany's car and they stayed there and were dancing for all the cars that passed them while waiting for us. Apparently they didn't realize that we'd passed them a LONG time before that. Haha.
Sunday morning, I went to Dan's ward because he was teaching combined Priesthood/Relief Society. His and Natalie's lesson was so good. I think my favorite part was when they talked about how important it is to be modest and morally clean. Natalie said that if a guy is trying to spend the night or is letting you spend the night, he's not respecting you as a daughter of God.
Sunday night, we may or may not have participated in the heist of a certain DVD. It's still up for debate as to whether we were active participants or not. If it did happen, it was quite thrilling, and Abbie and I certainly got a good work out from it when we ran back to our apartment.
Monday was the same old same. Except holy cow stressful! BYU application was due Feb 1 and I had to get so much crap done for it. I guess it doesn't really help that I'm a killer procrastinator so I was writing my essays in between my patho class and my sociology class. But hey it all got done and before 4 pm and that's all that counts. So I went to my writing class and peach is in that class, but get this: we don't even acknowledge each others existence. It's honestly quite irritating...and I'm not even sure why because it shouldn't bug me but it really does. OH it gets even better though...peach deleted me from facebook. BAHAHA I almost friend requested peach but then I thought better of it and decided who cares.
SIDE NOTE: it's been raining!! and blowing up a hellish storm. It's somewhat irritating and I had a super hard time getting out of bed this morning because I just wanted to stay curled up in my bed and read a book.
Monday night we went to FHE and learned about the 10 commandments and the little actions that go with it. So the guy that taught the lesson...well let's call him Howie. So Howie comes up and starts talking to me after FHE. We were eating dessert and everyone else was playing bump out. At the risk of sounding super conceited, he was definitely flirting it up with me asking all the questions: OH I didn't catch your name? How long have you been here? Blah blah blah. Well I immediated decided I had to nip this one in the butt fast so that I a. Don't lead him on. and b. could still potentially be friends--alright acquaintances--if I see him at church and stuff. So I noticed he had a sports med shirt on and asked him if he worked down in the training room at all. He answered yes and so I had a way to bring up Dan without being ridiculously obvious about it. The next part of the conversation goes as follows:
Me: Oh so you do you work down there (the training room) a lot?
Howie: Yeah I do!
Me: That's cool. So do you know Dan?!
H: Umm maybe?
Me: He's short and brown.
H: Oh yeah I know him, he's pretty cool, helps me out a lot.
Me: That's awesome! He's my boyfriend!
H: Oh your boyfriend?!
Me: Yeah!
H: Wow.....cool.
OHHH man I had to keep myself from laughing because it really was quite funny but sad at the same time. I didn't mean to be so cut and dry, but hey he'll thank me later when he doesn't have to waste time on me right?
I'd say it's been a pretty eventful weekend and it can only get better. Raegan is wearing a moo moo and looks like an old lady with stage make up on that she had to do in class. Point made. And now we are off to visit Hannah.
Making fettucini alfredo tonight for the roommates and my love. Hopefully this time I won't burn it...the distraction will be in class. ;] Well idk...Raegan might be a huge distraction right now...she's walking around with a big butt shake. Hahaha I love my roommates what can I say.
:] LOVE MY LIFE.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm BACK!!!
WRITTEN ON TUESDAY JANUARY 11:
Wahoo! Back in Thatcher! And honestly it feels so good to be back and be with my friends and our "little" circle of people and doing things again. Winter break almost killed me...I did absolutely NOTHING! I'm sure getting my wisdom teeth out didn't help too much, but I just like hanging out with my momma whenever I go home and I never hang out with anyone...so long story short, I'm probably a jerk for not wanting to really do anything, but oh well. It happens. My bad.
So lets rewind a couple of days back to Saturday...ZIPPPP! Okay so Dan came up on Saturday and I was so ridiculously excited that I couldn't even stand it! So he texts me around 11 and tells me he is going to be a little late...bummer :[ But it's alright, because that gives me some more time to clean up the atrocity of a bathroom and Ethan's room. Then I've got Ethan and Chandler asking me every 5 minutes: WHEN IS DAN GOING TO BE HERE?! WHEN IS HE COMING?! Ahhhhh!! I thought I was going to die slowly. Alright, not quite that dramatic, but you catch my drift.
He FINALLY gets to my house and I still hadn't gotten ready because I'd been cleaning up till the minute that he got there (don't worry, I got it all done!). My poor boyfriend...honestly I feel bad for the guy and I probably should do something to fix it, but I really don't care--Abbie and I were just talking yesterday about how I have absolutely no shame and don't really care what anyone says about it either. I try though! This sounds so bad, like I never get ready and look frumpy all the time. It's probably true. Alright I'll try to get ready from now on. Try being the key word. I expect an epic fail to come out of this.
Back to the story: he gets to my house and then we ended up going out to dinner...which believe me it is harder to chew lettuce with four gaping holes in your mouth than you would expect. Don't worry, I cleaned up and got ready, and I think I looked pretty cute. Haha you'll have to ask Dan.
After dinner, we came back and made lemon bars. Dan and Chandler had a contest to see who could make the best ones. Well if you ask me, they tasted the same, but apparently, Dan put in a cup less of sugar. So maybe they should've tasted worse?! But they all tasted good.
We ended up watching Holes and were up till 230 in the morning! Now let's keep in mind that 1. That is SUPER LATE! and 2. we had to be in east Mesa by 830 the next morning, which means leaving my house by no later than 745. Well as you can imagine, I set my alarm and pushed the snooze and wake up to Dan shaking my arm at 715. CRAP!! Well don't worry, we made it to church...at 829 on the dot. Haha it was Dan's greenie's homecoming, so that was cool to meet him and hear his talk. Holy cow though, his Spanish was SOOOOO FAST!! Haha it was kinda funny because he was just going and there was no stopping him.
We came back to my house and watched the Jungle Book and then went over to my friend Sam Liang's house and talked to her and saw her two little kiddos. Oh man they are so stinkin cute and probably one of the few reasons I want to have kids one day. So we were over there for a few hours and then when we were leaving, I asked Ronen for a hug and he looks and me like he's contemplating it, and then says: I don't have anymore hugs. Hahah little kids say the funniest things!
Monday, I went in to get a new tire and get them rotated, got a couple of shots from the doctors office, and then went home to wait for my car to be done so we could leave! We ended up meeting my momma for lunch at PF Changs! YUMMM lettuce wraps!! Well long story short, my car needs to get fixed :[ The ball joints need to be replaced. Sad day. So we didn't end up leaving till 230! To make things better, there was an accident when we were almost out of Mesa. It seriously took 45 minutes to go 3 miles. AWFUL!! So Dan and I ended up talking to each other on speaker phone through the whole accident and were talking about the funniest things.
Long story short...my boyfriend is just the cutest thing ever. And I missed him entirely too much over break.
Wahoo! Back in Thatcher! And honestly it feels so good to be back and be with my friends and our "little" circle of people and doing things again. Winter break almost killed me...I did absolutely NOTHING! I'm sure getting my wisdom teeth out didn't help too much, but I just like hanging out with my momma whenever I go home and I never hang out with anyone...so long story short, I'm probably a jerk for not wanting to really do anything, but oh well. It happens. My bad.
So lets rewind a couple of days back to Saturday...ZIPPPP! Okay so Dan came up on Saturday and I was so ridiculously excited that I couldn't even stand it! So he texts me around 11 and tells me he is going to be a little late...bummer :[ But it's alright, because that gives me some more time to clean up the atrocity of a bathroom and Ethan's room. Then I've got Ethan and Chandler asking me every 5 minutes: WHEN IS DAN GOING TO BE HERE?! WHEN IS HE COMING?! Ahhhhh!! I thought I was going to die slowly. Alright, not quite that dramatic, but you catch my drift.
He FINALLY gets to my house and I still hadn't gotten ready because I'd been cleaning up till the minute that he got there (don't worry, I got it all done!). My poor boyfriend...honestly I feel bad for the guy and I probably should do something to fix it, but I really don't care--Abbie and I were just talking yesterday about how I have absolutely no shame and don't really care what anyone says about it either. I try though! This sounds so bad, like I never get ready and look frumpy all the time. It's probably true. Alright I'll try to get ready from now on. Try being the key word. I expect an epic fail to come out of this.
Back to the story: he gets to my house and then we ended up going out to dinner...which believe me it is harder to chew lettuce with four gaping holes in your mouth than you would expect. Don't worry, I cleaned up and got ready, and I think I looked pretty cute. Haha you'll have to ask Dan.
After dinner, we came back and made lemon bars. Dan and Chandler had a contest to see who could make the best ones. Well if you ask me, they tasted the same, but apparently, Dan put in a cup less of sugar. So maybe they should've tasted worse?! But they all tasted good.
We ended up watching Holes and were up till 230 in the morning! Now let's keep in mind that 1. That is SUPER LATE! and 2. we had to be in east Mesa by 830 the next morning, which means leaving my house by no later than 745. Well as you can imagine, I set my alarm and pushed the snooze and wake up to Dan shaking my arm at 715. CRAP!! Well don't worry, we made it to church...at 829 on the dot. Haha it was Dan's greenie's homecoming, so that was cool to meet him and hear his talk. Holy cow though, his Spanish was SOOOOO FAST!! Haha it was kinda funny because he was just going and there was no stopping him.
We came back to my house and watched the Jungle Book and then went over to my friend Sam Liang's house and talked to her and saw her two little kiddos. Oh man they are so stinkin cute and probably one of the few reasons I want to have kids one day. So we were over there for a few hours and then when we were leaving, I asked Ronen for a hug and he looks and me like he's contemplating it, and then says: I don't have anymore hugs. Hahah little kids say the funniest things!
Monday, I went in to get a new tire and get them rotated, got a couple of shots from the doctors office, and then went home to wait for my car to be done so we could leave! We ended up meeting my momma for lunch at PF Changs! YUMMM lettuce wraps!! Well long story short, my car needs to get fixed :[ The ball joints need to be replaced. Sad day. So we didn't end up leaving till 230! To make things better, there was an accident when we were almost out of Mesa. It seriously took 45 minutes to go 3 miles. AWFUL!! So Dan and I ended up talking to each other on speaker phone through the whole accident and were talking about the funniest things.
Long story short...my boyfriend is just the cutest thing ever. And I missed him entirely too much over break.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I've got a little itch...
And this itch is just making me want to get back to Thatcher that much faster...and NO it's not just to see Dan! Although, that added bonus that he'd be just up the street is all the more appealing.
I miss my friends, and I've realized the pathetic state of my existence here in my own home...which really doesn't feel like home. I think anyone that's moved out can relate to that. Don't get me wrong, I love being here and it probably wouldn't be so pathetic if I wasn't put up on the couch, popping ibuprofen like it's candy (sorry liver, I promise I'll stop soon), and drinking milkshakes up the wahzoo because it hurts to chew anything, I might just be out doing something. Okay, let's be realistic, probably not. So if anything, this just gets to be my excuse. YES!
I got a phone call from Nicole Baldwin last night and I seriously can't tell you how much I've missed her! It's seriously ridiculous! I miss all my friends, especially my roommates, and staying up till all hours of the night laughing hysterically or sneaking around playing ninjas to spy on each other (I was the usual recipient of these spying activities). I miss driving passed the temple coming into town and leaving it. I miss Pima burritos...and I've got such a craving for one right now as I'm typing this. Haha. I miss Thatcher. Wow...okay maybe not Thatcher, okay yes Thatcher, and all the people in it.
On a brighter note, Dan's coming up on Saturday!! Yay!! Don't worry...I'm not excited about this at all. LIES! I can't wait! I've been excited since Monday and it's honestly agonizing to sit on the couch and pray that the hours go a little faster and Saturday will come a little sooner. Well it's practically here! So on tomorrow's to do list, besides finish the quilt: clean up Ethan's room and pull out the extra bed, general pick up of the house, oh and somehow make this swelling go away so I'm some what presentable by Saturday. Any suggestions?
So I have just realized how random this post is; it's pretty much all over the place. Woops. My mind is every where and no where all at the same time! Poop. Well it's almost Saturday, and Grey's anatomy is on! Yay. I'm sure I will have a grand blog post for Saturday...if there's time for that. I mean after all, I haven't seen him for almost 3 weeks! KILLER. Knife through the heart. Alright...enough with the dramatics. You get it. I'm excited. End of story. Goodnight.
Life is a song, Love is the music.
I miss my friends, and I've realized the pathetic state of my existence here in my own home...which really doesn't feel like home. I think anyone that's moved out can relate to that. Don't get me wrong, I love being here and it probably wouldn't be so pathetic if I wasn't put up on the couch, popping ibuprofen like it's candy (sorry liver, I promise I'll stop soon), and drinking milkshakes up the wahzoo because it hurts to chew anything, I might just be out doing something. Okay, let's be realistic, probably not. So if anything, this just gets to be my excuse. YES!
I got a phone call from Nicole Baldwin last night and I seriously can't tell you how much I've missed her! It's seriously ridiculous! I miss all my friends, especially my roommates, and staying up till all hours of the night laughing hysterically or sneaking around playing ninjas to spy on each other (I was the usual recipient of these spying activities). I miss driving passed the temple coming into town and leaving it. I miss Pima burritos...and I've got such a craving for one right now as I'm typing this. Haha. I miss Thatcher. Wow...okay maybe not Thatcher, okay yes Thatcher, and all the people in it.
On a brighter note, Dan's coming up on Saturday!! Yay!! Don't worry...I'm not excited about this at all. LIES! I can't wait! I've been excited since Monday and it's honestly agonizing to sit on the couch and pray that the hours go a little faster and Saturday will come a little sooner. Well it's practically here! So on tomorrow's to do list, besides finish the quilt: clean up Ethan's room and pull out the extra bed, general pick up of the house, oh and somehow make this swelling go away so I'm some what presentable by Saturday. Any suggestions?
So I have just realized how random this post is; it's pretty much all over the place. Woops. My mind is every where and no where all at the same time! Poop. Well it's almost Saturday, and Grey's anatomy is on! Yay. I'm sure I will have a grand blog post for Saturday...if there's time for that. I mean after all, I haven't seen him for almost 3 weeks! KILLER. Knife through the heart. Alright...enough with the dramatics. You get it. I'm excited. End of story. Goodnight.
Life is a song, Love is the music.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
It makes her feel close.
So I like sleeping with the Mater side of my blanket closest to me. It makes me feel just a little bit closer, like somehow it makes him not as far away.
I’ve let go…finally. I guess three months into a serious relationship is about dang time to let it go. As much as I’d like to think my own little noodle came up with this on its own, it didn’t. I had a little help (okay a lot of help) along the way.
It’s time. Time to recognize the beautiful blessings I’ve been given, and that there is a time and a season for everything. I was given one of the greatest blessings in a friend at that point in my life in Jake Clark.
He was everything I could have ever asked for in a friend and always knew what to say or how to say it even if I didn’t want to hear it, especially when I didn’t want to hear that. I will forever and always cherish the friendship we made and I will be grateful to him for a very, very long time for all the things I have learned from him. I’ve learned to be a little more patient and understanding of people and what is going on—now I’m still working on it. It’s a constant work in progress. Anyone that is around me for an extended amount of time could tell you that. But I am trying. I’ve also learned to rely on the Lord, not from him, but he was always a good example of just the basic and simple reading your scriptures and saying your prayers on a daily basis.
In learning to more fully rely on the Lord, I have recognized another blessing I’ve been given in Dan Haban. I honestly for the life of me cannot figure out why he has stuck around for so long when it’s taken me this long to realize what I have! Holy crap I probably would’ve hit the road running a LONG time ago. I’m still learning from him, so much. I’ve learned how to laugh and have fun in new ways. I mean who would’ve ever thought that getting eaten alive by mosquitoes while coyote calling would be fun…but it is! Or making a “love-sac” from two yards of bright orange fleece? Or even just turning the couches around and watching Grey’s Anatomy? I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun and been so happy.
Talking to Abbie tonight helped me realize some things too. Jake is always going to be a friend. That is not changing. I’ll still write him letters because that’s what friends do: support and uplift each other. But Dan…he’s something different. And I intend to hold onto that for a long time.
I don’t know how much of this is making sense because well it’s almost 3 in the morning and I’ve been slightly delusional for the last couple of hours…I’m blaming Raegan and Abbie…oh and Martinelli’s.
Recognize a good thing…a great thing…perhaps the best thing, when you’ve got it. And then do all that you can to hold onto it. I’m glad I’ve recognized mine. Have you?
See 2011: I’m already just a little wiser…and it’s only been 3 hours! Think of what a whole year will do!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Ignite the Light and Let it SHINE.
So it's New Years Eve and this year's definitely not been what I expected at all. I tend to think of my years relative to the school year. So in thinking about the actual year...I've gotta go WAYYY back to last semester. So far!! I know. I'm getting old. Blah.
Sparing the boring and drawn out details...I'll just recap the year really (and I mean really) quickly. Ideally 12 sentences or less.
January: Second semester of college, I've got the hang of things a little better, and a new roommate.
February: New roommate (Brinlee) turns out to be just the perfect fit, Valentines day--absolutely hate it...okay "hate" is a little strong, but you get the idea...not my favorite holiday.
March: SPRING BREAK!! California and Disneyland=LOVE. Met Dan at the library (see what good little students we are...we met at the library!)
April: Hmm...not too much to say here. Pretty sure this was the first official date with Dan watching planet earth eating popcorn and drinking hawaiian punch, spent lots (and I mean lots) of time floating down the river, which conveniently worked out to always be on Tuesdays so Hannah and I frequently went to nutrition smelling like delicious river mud nastiness.
May: Some things literally went to hell and I never planned on them coming back, finished my first year of college, and headed home, more relieved than anything to be leaving Thatcher and parting ways with some people.
June: Work work work all week long, and I can't complain too much. It kept me busy and from thinking about a lot of things. Enjoyed soaking up the summer sun every chance I got. ALSO: Everyone left on their missions!! And so the mass letter writing begins...
July: Work work work...visit Utah and see all the cousins, family, explore Provo Canyon, and visit the Clarks.
August: Work, back to school. I learned a lot about forgiveness and gave up my vices. Started talking to a few people again. Went to FRY MESA the first weekend back in Thatcher.
September: Peppersauce Caves in Tuscon, Rees and Tracee's wedding, going on a second "first date" with Dan to see the Last Exorcism....which I'm pretty sure I swore under my breath the entire time and then laughed as soon as it was over.
October: GF status. Yeahhh...still adjusting to that one. Halloween block party :]
November: Thanksgiving break...much much much needed and I can't exactly say I was excited to go back to school, except to see Dan. ONE
December: Meeting the fam...went MUCH better than I had planned. Missing him entirely too much it's honestly quite ridiculous, but I guess that's what happens. Christmas in Utah, seeing all the cousins, mass insanity. Oh and snow in Arizona...right in my backyard. Got into the nursing program...and then deciding not to do it at EA. Probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in a long time. Relying on the Lord that He knows what's best and has the best intentions for me.
So now I'm sitting here looking at where I've been and where I'm going, and honestly if there's one thing I've learned this last year, NOTHING goes according to plan. It's quite frustrating but I'm managing. Let's see what next year brings. :]
Here's to 2010 and all the ups and downs. As for 2011: Bring it on!
Sparing the boring and drawn out details...I'll just recap the year really (and I mean really) quickly. Ideally 12 sentences or less.
January: Second semester of college, I've got the hang of things a little better, and a new roommate.
February: New roommate (Brinlee) turns out to be just the perfect fit, Valentines day--absolutely hate it...okay "hate" is a little strong, but you get the idea...not my favorite holiday.
March: SPRING BREAK!! California and Disneyland=LOVE. Met Dan at the library (see what good little students we are...we met at the library!)
April: Hmm...not too much to say here. Pretty sure this was the first official date with Dan watching planet earth eating popcorn and drinking hawaiian punch, spent lots (and I mean lots) of time floating down the river, which conveniently worked out to always be on Tuesdays so Hannah and I frequently went to nutrition smelling like delicious river mud nastiness.
May: Some things literally went to hell and I never planned on them coming back, finished my first year of college, and headed home, more relieved than anything to be leaving Thatcher and parting ways with some people.
June: Work work work all week long, and I can't complain too much. It kept me busy and from thinking about a lot of things. Enjoyed soaking up the summer sun every chance I got. ALSO: Everyone left on their missions!! And so the mass letter writing begins...
July: Work work work...visit Utah and see all the cousins, family, explore Provo Canyon, and visit the Clarks.
August: Work, back to school. I learned a lot about forgiveness and gave up my vices. Started talking to a few people again. Went to FRY MESA the first weekend back in Thatcher.
September: Peppersauce Caves in Tuscon, Rees and Tracee's wedding, going on a second "first date" with Dan to see the Last Exorcism....which I'm pretty sure I swore under my breath the entire time and then laughed as soon as it was over.
October: GF status. Yeahhh...still adjusting to that one. Halloween block party :]
November: Thanksgiving break...much much much needed and I can't exactly say I was excited to go back to school, except to see Dan. ONE
December: Meeting the fam...went MUCH better than I had planned. Missing him entirely too much it's honestly quite ridiculous, but I guess that's what happens. Christmas in Utah, seeing all the cousins, mass insanity. Oh and snow in Arizona...right in my backyard. Got into the nursing program...and then deciding not to do it at EA. Probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in a long time. Relying on the Lord that He knows what's best and has the best intentions for me.
So now I'm sitting here looking at where I've been and where I'm going, and honestly if there's one thing I've learned this last year, NOTHING goes according to plan. It's quite frustrating but I'm managing. Let's see what next year brings. :]
Here's to 2010 and all the ups and downs. As for 2011: Bring it on!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
FEAR THE FORK! Babies and HD TV, and Ugly Sweater Parties...hmm sounds like a week in Thatcher.
This blog has been in the works for a couple of days because, let's just face it, this week was intense!! We'll just start with by far one of the most epic games I've ever been to! (Okay I've only been to one other D1 game...so I don't know how I'm ever gonna sit through another one, but that's alright).
THURSDAY: So let's just say that holy cow...fear the fork. Yeahhhh buddy. If you'd like to read about the game, well Hannah Gunderson was so kind to write down the proceedings of the game. Read here :] While we were driving down there, Dan was on the po po watch (aka the cop watch) and I'm flying down the highway, going like almost 85--it's 75 out there. So I'm just cruising along, out of no where:
Dan: COP!
Arielle: Oh shit!
[Nervous laughter]
Yes, that's exactly how it went down. Excuse the language, but seriously I saw my insurance bill flash before my eyes. It was awesome. But the whole trip down there was super fun! We hung out at Raegan's house and ate some delish dinner and headed out to the game! ASU of course won!! Thanks so much to U of A's kicker. It's alright buddy...maybe next year you'll learn how to kick a little higher. Then the drive home, so cute. Dan just held my hand the whole time. :] Okay so the boy doesn't take losing too well, but it's okay, because at the end of the day he still likes me...even if I'm a sun devil. We played the make it or break it game with every one in the car--you know the one where it's a scenario of pretty much the perfect person, except one thing. It was super funny to hear the things that people came up with. Haha.
TUESDAY: So I let Dan read the last post on Tuesday night when he was over, and well needless to say, it was one of the most nerve racking moments of my life. I just climbed in my bed and faced the wall and was focusing on breathing. Not even joking. I didn't know what to do!! And he was just sitting on the end of my bed. I swear it was like a freaking half an hour to read it! Not really, but it felt like forever. So then, he gets up really quietly because he thought I was asleep or something, he kissed my cheek, and whispered really quietly, really softly: I love you. Oh dang I was awake. So he walks out, and then I was waiting for a second or two. I rolled over and looked at Abbie, thinking the whole time that Dan had already left, and we just started busting up laughing. And it wasn't exactly quiet laughter either. It was LOUD!!
Then we heard it...the door creaking open. Oh shiz. Yes we had just been caught laughing at him...and he hadn't even left yet! That was the worst! Okay I guess I should clear that up, we weren't laughing at him, more that the previous event had just transpired. I was NEVER, and I mean EVER, gonna let him read my blog, and then Abbie was like Arielle you have to let him read that post at least, and then I just gave it up, so yeah he's probably reading this right now...HI Dan!
WEDNESDAY: I was walking back from the institute with Jacquelyn Wolfe, Nicole Baldwin, and Tiffany Brimhall. We had just been watching Nicole's brother, Brian, basketball game. So we're walking home and we were talking about four letter words, and out of no where,
Nicole said: I bet when it happens, there's gonna be other four letter words associated with it. Dan's gonna say, Damn I love you.
[Then Jacquelyn pipes in]
Jacq: Yeah and Arielle's gonna say, Oh shit.
To make things even funnier, we all agreed that that would probably happen, or at least it was very very likely that it would come out like that!
FRIDAY: Okay this is what happens in the wee hours of the morning. Abbie and I end up talking about everything and anything...and lately, I end up balling my eyes out. (Honestly, I've realized lately that I'm such a ball baby! It's absolutely ridiculous.) The conversation spanned everything you could think of. Really. We talked about babies and HD tvs--which I think we've both decided that you can't tell the difference between HD and regular. We ended up being awake until 6!! I think I decided about 430 that it was pointless to even count on going to sleep!
So a few hours later, I wake up to go to class...yeah I made it through about 10 minutes of it. I couldn't even convince myself to stay. So Dan picked me up, and I hung out at his house for a couple hours...never quite getting to sleep. Ugh it was ridiculous. Let's just be nice and say I looked like a zombie. And that's putting it nicely. To finish off my day, I studied and went to bed around 1030, because I had to take my CNA test in the morning.
SATURDAY: Driving at 430 in the am. Highly recommend it. There is absolutely no one on the road! Except coyotes...which like to hide around corners and lay dead in the road. I'm pretty sure I just took off the head of the coyote and kept driving. But dang, I was awake!! Holy crap I was awake. The adrenaline was pumping and there was no way I was falling asleep after that.
So I'm sitting in the hallway and reading over my skills before I went to go take the skills test, and I just really missed Dan. I had just seen him, no joke 6 hours ago, and I would see him later in the day. I totally missed him though and I wanted to see him!! Ugh...the only bad thing about boyfriends, I find that I miss him in the most random times. Like at times when I should be stressing over a huge test...I missed him. And it was all I could do on the drive home not to speed like a crazy person just so I could get home faster and see him.
Then Saturday night, Monica got baptized!! I've gone to a few baptisms this year, and this one was so special. The talks were so amazing and the missionaries had everyone write down their testimony and put it in a book for her. Writing it down was so special to me. I hope she always remembers it, and honestly I think it was the best thing for me to just think about what I believe in and what I know to be true. It made me remember and realize what my institute teacher tells us every time we leave class...The Lord loves you and the Church is true.
Later, there was an ugly sweater party at my house! Haha super fun! We had a white elephant gift exchange. Dan picked first. Well Dan's gift was handcuffs and a stick horse. Okay, I don't think I've turned so many shades of red all at once. Everyone was like OHHHHHH!! Then a couple of gifts later, someone opened a pregnancy test. Then they asked if Dan and I wanted it...because apparently we were gonna need it for later. WHAT-E-VER!!! It gets better though, my number to pick was 24, so I picked my gift and it was fake money and police badges. Once again, I almost died. Haha then everyone really gave us crap for the gifts! When it came time for Brian to pick his gift, he asked this: If I trade with Dan, does Arielle come in handcuffs? Greattttt. Haha.
Well it's been a great couple of days...and honestly Matt Pellegrini right now wants me to leave my blog and go look at Christmas lights THAT AREN'T EVEN UP YET!! Hahah. Oh well, anyway it's been fun!! Seriously so much fun. Last night was by far one of the funnest nights in Thatcher thus far!
Quotes of the day:
hi my name is abbie colyar. i just took a shower and now I'm freezing. and I'm a mormon.
she didn't hear the wedding bells...she heard the wedding night.
THURSDAY: So let's just say that holy cow...fear the fork. Yeahhhh buddy. If you'd like to read about the game, well Hannah Gunderson was so kind to write down the proceedings of the game. Read here :] While we were driving down there, Dan was on the po po watch (aka the cop watch) and I'm flying down the highway, going like almost 85--it's 75 out there. So I'm just cruising along, out of no where:
Dan: COP!
Arielle: Oh shit!
[Nervous laughter]
Yes, that's exactly how it went down. Excuse the language, but seriously I saw my insurance bill flash before my eyes. It was awesome. But the whole trip down there was super fun! We hung out at Raegan's house and ate some delish dinner and headed out to the game! ASU of course won!! Thanks so much to U of A's kicker. It's alright buddy...maybe next year you'll learn how to kick a little higher. Then the drive home, so cute. Dan just held my hand the whole time. :] Okay so the boy doesn't take losing too well, but it's okay, because at the end of the day he still likes me...even if I'm a sun devil. We played the make it or break it game with every one in the car--you know the one where it's a scenario of pretty much the perfect person, except one thing. It was super funny to hear the things that people came up with. Haha.
TUESDAY: So I let Dan read the last post on Tuesday night when he was over, and well needless to say, it was one of the most nerve racking moments of my life. I just climbed in my bed and faced the wall and was focusing on breathing. Not even joking. I didn't know what to do!! And he was just sitting on the end of my bed. I swear it was like a freaking half an hour to read it! Not really, but it felt like forever. So then, he gets up really quietly because he thought I was asleep or something, he kissed my cheek, and whispered really quietly, really softly: I love you. Oh dang I was awake. So he walks out, and then I was waiting for a second or two. I rolled over and looked at Abbie, thinking the whole time that Dan had already left, and we just started busting up laughing. And it wasn't exactly quiet laughter either. It was LOUD!!
Then we heard it...the door creaking open. Oh shiz. Yes we had just been caught laughing at him...and he hadn't even left yet! That was the worst! Okay I guess I should clear that up, we weren't laughing at him, more that the previous event had just transpired. I was NEVER, and I mean EVER, gonna let him read my blog, and then Abbie was like Arielle you have to let him read that post at least, and then I just gave it up, so yeah he's probably reading this right now...HI Dan!
WEDNESDAY: I was walking back from the institute with Jacquelyn Wolfe, Nicole Baldwin, and Tiffany Brimhall. We had just been watching Nicole's brother, Brian, basketball game. So we're walking home and we were talking about four letter words, and out of no where,
Nicole said: I bet when it happens, there's gonna be other four letter words associated with it. Dan's gonna say, Damn I love you.
[Then Jacquelyn pipes in]
Jacq: Yeah and Arielle's gonna say, Oh shit.
To make things even funnier, we all agreed that that would probably happen, or at least it was very very likely that it would come out like that!
FRIDAY: Okay this is what happens in the wee hours of the morning. Abbie and I end up talking about everything and anything...and lately, I end up balling my eyes out. (Honestly, I've realized lately that I'm such a ball baby! It's absolutely ridiculous.) The conversation spanned everything you could think of. Really. We talked about babies and HD tvs--which I think we've both decided that you can't tell the difference between HD and regular. We ended up being awake until 6!! I think I decided about 430 that it was pointless to even count on going to sleep!
So a few hours later, I wake up to go to class...yeah I made it through about 10 minutes of it. I couldn't even convince myself to stay. So Dan picked me up, and I hung out at his house for a couple hours...never quite getting to sleep. Ugh it was ridiculous. Let's just be nice and say I looked like a zombie. And that's putting it nicely. To finish off my day, I studied and went to bed around 1030, because I had to take my CNA test in the morning.
SATURDAY: Driving at 430 in the am. Highly recommend it. There is absolutely no one on the road! Except coyotes...which like to hide around corners and lay dead in the road. I'm pretty sure I just took off the head of the coyote and kept driving. But dang, I was awake!! Holy crap I was awake. The adrenaline was pumping and there was no way I was falling asleep after that.
So I'm sitting in the hallway and reading over my skills before I went to go take the skills test, and I just really missed Dan. I had just seen him, no joke 6 hours ago, and I would see him later in the day. I totally missed him though and I wanted to see him!! Ugh...the only bad thing about boyfriends, I find that I miss him in the most random times. Like at times when I should be stressing over a huge test...I missed him. And it was all I could do on the drive home not to speed like a crazy person just so I could get home faster and see him.
Then Saturday night, Monica got baptized!! I've gone to a few baptisms this year, and this one was so special. The talks were so amazing and the missionaries had everyone write down their testimony and put it in a book for her. Writing it down was so special to me. I hope she always remembers it, and honestly I think it was the best thing for me to just think about what I believe in and what I know to be true. It made me remember and realize what my institute teacher tells us every time we leave class...The Lord loves you and the Church is true.
Later, there was an ugly sweater party at my house! Haha super fun! We had a white elephant gift exchange. Dan picked first. Well Dan's gift was handcuffs and a stick horse. Okay, I don't think I've turned so many shades of red all at once. Everyone was like OHHHHHH!! Then a couple of gifts later, someone opened a pregnancy test. Then they asked if Dan and I wanted it...because apparently we were gonna need it for later. WHAT-E-VER!!! It gets better though, my number to pick was 24, so I picked my gift and it was fake money and police badges. Once again, I almost died. Haha then everyone really gave us crap for the gifts! When it came time for Brian to pick his gift, he asked this: If I trade with Dan, does Arielle come in handcuffs? Greattttt. Haha.
Well it's been a great couple of days...and honestly Matt Pellegrini right now wants me to leave my blog and go look at Christmas lights THAT AREN'T EVEN UP YET!! Hahah. Oh well, anyway it's been fun!! Seriously so much fun. Last night was by far one of the funnest nights in Thatcher thus far!
Quotes of the day:
hi my name is abbie colyar. i just took a shower and now I'm freezing. and I'm a mormon.
she didn't hear the wedding bells...she heard the wedding night.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
What are you guys...50 and married?!
Okay so this blog title has absolutely nothing to do with what I wanted to blog about, but Abbie and I were talking about blogging and Rustin made the comment: What are you guys...50 and married?! That's like what my mom and all her friends do! Hahaha it was hilarious!
So really this blog is to fulfill a "prophesy" if you can call it that without being sacrilegious, but this is honestly so cute that it has to be shared.
A very cold morning i wake up and shes not there,
So i look straight up and i start to stare.
I wonder in my mind, "is she still asleep?"
Thinking about the next time we'd be able to meet.
A fell asleep thinking about her as a friend,
First thing in the morning is me thinking, "wow i hope this never ends"
Everyday we've seen each other for a little over two months,
Except of course when i have to leave for my hunts.
I've definitely savored every moment that we spend,
And then it comes to my mind, "Is she now my best friend?"
Every laugh, every sigh, every single goodbye,
Has been the moments where i can see our relationship fly!
I hate it sometimes when with her i act so sappy,
I just don't know how to express that when I'm with her I'm happy!
I'll probably give her this dream,
and she'll probably share it on her blog.
Kendra and Abbie will probably think I'm in love.
But she's different then what i initially thought.
She has a lot more for me, and i guess that's why i fought.
So here's to my sweetheart, even if it last or it doesn't.
To my Arielle, You are so beautiful! Thanks for giving me a lot of things that i haven't.
Okay, in reading this again, I could honestly cry, and I realized how emotionally retarded I am. Seriously, why can't I just say what I feel? I think it's a defect in myself. Oh well, I guess it'll just have to come out in different ways. I guess I never paid attention to showing it, because I've always known how I've felt (obviously) but I never thought that he didn't know. It's so dumb that I just can't say it straight up and out loud.
Like we were talking the other night, and he asked me what I looked for in a guy. Not a big deal at all. But I froze. It's like I know exactly what I want, but actually voicing it to someone, especially someone that I care about a lot, it's just hard. I shut down. Completely. Well it gets better, the next question was What do you see in me? Umm...can I chew this one over with a Twix please? I know this sounds incredibly dumb and stupid, but how do I put it into words and say it out loud how I feel? I've never been that person that can just come up with stuff like poems and sweet nothings to say. I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hmm...one day I'll figure this out.
But in the meantime...here's to you :]
I love the way you make me laugh...all the time about anything. I love that you care so much about me and you always want to know how I'm doing. I love that I can be myself around you and say whatever comes to mind (which happens quite frequently and not always in the most tactful way) and know that you won't judge me for it. I love the way you hold my hand. It's so secure and safe (if that's the proper word for it). I love the way you talk about your family, especially your brother. I know that it can't be easy for you to talk about someone that was close to you like that, but I'm glad that you do. I love the questions that you ask me (mostly because I suck at asking questions and I'm better at answering...most of them). I absolutely love that you take your priesthood and callings so seriously. I always swore up and down I'd never marry someone like my dad, but you have so many of the things that I absolutely love about him, like the way you honor your priesthood. With my dad, I know I never have to worry about whether or not he can give me a blessing because I know he always makes sure every single day that he is worthy, and I love that I feel that way about you too. I love feeling safe around you, because I know that you would never let anything happen to me or hurt me. I love that you are always making sure we're doing what is right and that we're not getting ourselves into situations that would get us into trouble. I love that look in your eyes that you get when you first see me in the morning. I love the way that you always let me know how grateful you are for me or how much I mean to you.
So this is to tell you what you mean to me. I'm so grateful for you. I know how far we've come and I honestly hope we get to go farther. I look back on it all, and I wouldn't change it for the world. All of that, that got me here. That experience helped me grow and learn. I think it did that for you too. I am so grateful that you decided to fight just when I had almost given up. I will always be grateful for the things that I've learned from you. I've never gone coyote calling...so that was new. As embarrassing as it was, it was so much fun to just be out there with you, getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, and scaring away anything that might possibly be coming in because I was laughing so hard. I've never had so much fun hiding from you, like when we were down in Sierra Vista for Jared's homecoming. It was so exciting to show up at church and surprise you! I will never forget that look on your face. It was a smile that I could never put into words. With you, I feel so happy and so safe. At the risk of sounding totally sappy, I never knew how much I was missing and how much someone else can make you realized what you're missing in yourself.
I've had the time of my life fighting dragons with you...and I hope we get to fight many many more.
So now the whole world...well really just Abbie and Kendra (but we'll go with the whole world--it sounds cooler) knows. And I feel like shouting it at the top of my lungs and writing it across every billboard. :]
Loveyou. <3
So really this blog is to fulfill a "prophesy" if you can call it that without being sacrilegious, but this is honestly so cute that it has to be shared.
A very cold morning i wake up and shes not there,
So i look straight up and i start to stare.
I wonder in my mind, "is she still asleep?"
Thinking about the next time we'd be able to meet.
A fell asleep thinking about her as a friend,
First thing in the morning is me thinking, "wow i hope this never ends"
Everyday we've seen each other for a little over two months,
Except of course when i have to leave for my hunts.
I've definitely savored every moment that we spend,
And then it comes to my mind, "Is she now my best friend?"
Every laugh, every sigh, every single goodbye,
Has been the moments where i can see our relationship fly!
I hate it sometimes when with her i act so sappy,
I just don't know how to express that when I'm with her I'm happy!
I'll probably give her this dream,
and she'll probably share it on her blog.
Kendra and Abbie will probably think I'm in love.
But she's different then what i initially thought.
She has a lot more for me, and i guess that's why i fought.
So here's to my sweetheart, even if it last or it doesn't.
To my Arielle, You are so beautiful! Thanks for giving me a lot of things that i haven't.
Okay, in reading this again, I could honestly cry, and I realized how emotionally retarded I am. Seriously, why can't I just say what I feel? I think it's a defect in myself. Oh well, I guess it'll just have to come out in different ways. I guess I never paid attention to showing it, because I've always known how I've felt (obviously) but I never thought that he didn't know. It's so dumb that I just can't say it straight up and out loud.
Like we were talking the other night, and he asked me what I looked for in a guy. Not a big deal at all. But I froze. It's like I know exactly what I want, but actually voicing it to someone, especially someone that I care about a lot, it's just hard. I shut down. Completely. Well it gets better, the next question was What do you see in me? Umm...can I chew this one over with a Twix please? I know this sounds incredibly dumb and stupid, but how do I put it into words and say it out loud how I feel? I've never been that person that can just come up with stuff like poems and sweet nothings to say. I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hmm...one day I'll figure this out.
But in the meantime...here's to you :]
I love the way you make me laugh...all the time about anything. I love that you care so much about me and you always want to know how I'm doing. I love that I can be myself around you and say whatever comes to mind (which happens quite frequently and not always in the most tactful way) and know that you won't judge me for it. I love the way you hold my hand. It's so secure and safe (if that's the proper word for it). I love the way you talk about your family, especially your brother. I know that it can't be easy for you to talk about someone that was close to you like that, but I'm glad that you do. I love the questions that you ask me (mostly because I suck at asking questions and I'm better at answering...most of them). I absolutely love that you take your priesthood and callings so seriously. I always swore up and down I'd never marry someone like my dad, but you have so many of the things that I absolutely love about him, like the way you honor your priesthood. With my dad, I know I never have to worry about whether or not he can give me a blessing because I know he always makes sure every single day that he is worthy, and I love that I feel that way about you too. I love feeling safe around you, because I know that you would never let anything happen to me or hurt me. I love that you are always making sure we're doing what is right and that we're not getting ourselves into situations that would get us into trouble. I love that look in your eyes that you get when you first see me in the morning. I love the way that you always let me know how grateful you are for me or how much I mean to you.
So this is to tell you what you mean to me. I'm so grateful for you. I know how far we've come and I honestly hope we get to go farther. I look back on it all, and I wouldn't change it for the world. All of that, that got me here. That experience helped me grow and learn. I think it did that for you too. I am so grateful that you decided to fight just when I had almost given up. I will always be grateful for the things that I've learned from you. I've never gone coyote calling...so that was new. As embarrassing as it was, it was so much fun to just be out there with you, getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, and scaring away anything that might possibly be coming in because I was laughing so hard. I've never had so much fun hiding from you, like when we were down in Sierra Vista for Jared's homecoming. It was so exciting to show up at church and surprise you! I will never forget that look on your face. It was a smile that I could never put into words. With you, I feel so happy and so safe. At the risk of sounding totally sappy, I never knew how much I was missing and how much someone else can make you realized what you're missing in yourself.
I've had the time of my life fighting dragons with you...and I hope we get to fight many many more.
So now the whole world...well really just Abbie and Kendra (but we'll go with the whole world--it sounds cooler) knows. And I feel like shouting it at the top of my lungs and writing it across every billboard. :]
Loveyou. <3
Saturday, November 27, 2010
He's worth keepin around
Okay so I know it's ridiculously lame to blog about my boyfriend, but as of late, he's been pretty funny. And these funnies (okay there's really only one funny) are definitely blog worthy.
1. It's a boy!!!
Yes. You read that right. Dan decided he wanted to make a fleece blanket--probably because I talk about how much I love mine and how warm it is. Anyway, so we went to WalMart and he told me to pick out a side and he'd pick out the other side. Alright...well I guess this blanket could mismatch horribly, but since it's not mine it really doesn't matter does it? So we perusing the aisles of fleece and there was this Winnie the pooh print and it looked like baby fabric! So I pointed that out, and never again will I ever say what comes to my head without thinking about it first...because it set up the entire evening.
I said: It looks like baby fabric! No big deal right? Wrong. Dan gave me the weirdest look like OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT. So I just laughed and kept walking, obviously hiding the embarrassment. So we finally picked out the sides: I picked the little mermaid and he picked cars. It's a very mature college blanket. Then out of no where, Dan says: You know what we can call this?! The BABY MAKER!! Now for those of you who haven't seen the proposal, the blanket that's on the bed is called the baby maker.
We are getting the fabric cut and Dan so kindly tells the WalMart employee (her name is Erin) that it's going to be our baby's blanket. The conversation goes as follows.
Erin: Oh are you expecting?! (With a cute grin on her face)
Me: (Complete and utter shock with a look that could've stopped Dan dead in his tracks) No. No I'm not.
Erin: Are you two engaged?
Me: Nope, just dating.
So as we were leaving, Dan offers to carry the fabric and I quickly informed him that the blanket was for MY baby so I could carry it. When I came home and told Abbie about it, she was telling me about a blog we both read and how the lady is pregnant and according to a Chinese calendar, she's having a boy! So Abbie and I looked it up, and according to the Chinese calendar, Dan and I would have to be having a boy. See for yourself! Click yourself :]
2. I'm thankful for...
I'm just gonna paste this text word for word. Not gonna lie, I almost cried. Almost...
Things I'm thankful for: Someone who allows me to be myself, someone who makes time just for me and spends that time making me feel like the biggest man on campus (small joke lol), someone who makes me want to be smarter every time I open a book, someone who allows me to be faithful to my priesthood, someone who takes my breath away every moment I'm with her, someone who I believe to be the prettiest girl alive. What am I grateful for? I'm grateful for you!
How do you even respond to that?! All I know is I'm one lucky girl...
I guess to finish this off, after this weekend, he's worth keeping around. Everyone's been asking me about him, and honestly I've never felt so shy in my whole life. I just want to hide behind my mom! It's really weird. I talk about just about everything else in my life, but get that personal and apparently I shut down and close off. Didn't know that about myself until a couple of days ago. Back to Dan, he is such a great guy, and I would be so happy with him...so so happy. So we'll just have to see. He makes me so happy. I guess you never realize how much you're lacking sometimes. Weird.
Going on the quote board as soon as I get home!!
"Probably not cause he's so buff and I'm so boobish."
1. It's a boy!!!
Yes. You read that right. Dan decided he wanted to make a fleece blanket--probably because I talk about how much I love mine and how warm it is. Anyway, so we went to WalMart and he told me to pick out a side and he'd pick out the other side. Alright...well I guess this blanket could mismatch horribly, but since it's not mine it really doesn't matter does it? So we perusing the aisles of fleece and there was this Winnie the pooh print and it looked like baby fabric! So I pointed that out, and never again will I ever say what comes to my head without thinking about it first...because it set up the entire evening.
I said: It looks like baby fabric! No big deal right? Wrong. Dan gave me the weirdest look like OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT. So I just laughed and kept walking, obviously hiding the embarrassment. So we finally picked out the sides: I picked the little mermaid and he picked cars. It's a very mature college blanket. Then out of no where, Dan says: You know what we can call this?! The BABY MAKER!! Now for those of you who haven't seen the proposal, the blanket that's on the bed is called the baby maker.
We are getting the fabric cut and Dan so kindly tells the WalMart employee (her name is Erin) that it's going to be our baby's blanket. The conversation goes as follows.
Erin: Oh are you expecting?! (With a cute grin on her face)
Me: (Complete and utter shock with a look that could've stopped Dan dead in his tracks) No. No I'm not.
Erin: Are you two engaged?
Me: Nope, just dating.
So as we were leaving, Dan offers to carry the fabric and I quickly informed him that the blanket was for MY baby so I could carry it. When I came home and told Abbie about it, she was telling me about a blog we both read and how the lady is pregnant and according to a Chinese calendar, she's having a boy! So Abbie and I looked it up, and according to the Chinese calendar, Dan and I would have to be having a boy. See for yourself! Click yourself :]
2. I'm thankful for...
I'm just gonna paste this text word for word. Not gonna lie, I almost cried. Almost...
Things I'm thankful for: Someone who allows me to be myself, someone who makes time just for me and spends that time making me feel like the biggest man on campus (small joke lol), someone who makes me want to be smarter every time I open a book, someone who allows me to be faithful to my priesthood, someone who takes my breath away every moment I'm with her, someone who I believe to be the prettiest girl alive. What am I grateful for? I'm grateful for you!
How do you even respond to that?! All I know is I'm one lucky girl...
I guess to finish this off, after this weekend, he's worth keeping around. Everyone's been asking me about him, and honestly I've never felt so shy in my whole life. I just want to hide behind my mom! It's really weird. I talk about just about everything else in my life, but get that personal and apparently I shut down and close off. Didn't know that about myself until a couple of days ago. Back to Dan, he is such a great guy, and I would be so happy with him...so so happy. So we'll just have to see. He makes me so happy. I guess you never realize how much you're lacking sometimes. Weird.
Going on the quote board as soon as I get home!!
"Probably not cause he's so buff and I'm so boobish."
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Can I...uhhhh....get a jump?
So NEVER HAVE I EVER...and I mean EVER...
...been caught making out! Seriously I don't know if I'm just super careful or what but that one happened last night. AWKWARD!! So I was over at Dan's studying...yes I was actually studying...for anatomy. Well it got to be around 11 and I was exhausted and not getting anything out of reading my notes. Sad day. So I decided that it was high time I headed home. I walked out to my car and turned it on--it's FREEZING outside that late! You've gotta get the heater fired up so you don't freeze on the drive home! Well Dan runs and jumps into my car on the passenger side and climbs right in, shuts the door, and then just smiles at me.
So we talked a little, laughed...because lets face it, everything is funny at 1130 at night. Listening to T Swift.
30 minutes later....
*knock on my driver side window*
A: [awkward, startling moment] *roll down window*
T: Can I uhhh get a jump?
A: [what the HECK?!] Umm yeah, I don't have jumper cables
T: I do *walks away*
A&D: [COMPULSIVE LAUGHTER]
note: the kind of laughter when you realize this has just become a killer embarrassing moment, and I don't have very many of those, so this was big.
So I'm sitting in my car, still listening to T. Swift, and honestly shocked at the previous 2 minutes of my life. Hahaha. What makes it even better is that I'm pressing my face into the steering wheel because it's cold and facial hair hurts. 'Nuff said. So Dan tells me later that Taylor made a comment while getting the cables all hooked up, all the while with a HUGE grin on his face: Sorry for interrupting.
AHHHHHH. I could die of embarrassment right then and there. Kill me now please so I don't ever have to see him again! Oh okay, enough with the dramatics. But really, I could've died I was so embarrassed. And all I could do was laugh. Oh and to make this story even better, EVERYONE KNOWS!! Naturally, Abbie knew right after it happened, because like a good roommate, I came home and woke her up and told her immediately. All of Dan's roommates know, and Olivia's whole apartment knows. Not that it's a crime or anything to kiss your boyfriend, but I seriously considered becoming Anne Frank for a week or so to let this one blow over.
One last thing, totally unrelated topic. At church on Sunday, Debbie--yuck nasty--was point at me and laughing. I really came dang close to walking over and asking what in the heck her problem was. It was slightly ridiculous and quite comical because Abbie and I were just laughing that they were being so obvious, because she'd point over at me and then her friend would look over and they talk a little more and do it again. Oh man. Girls girls girls! Learn the art of keeping secrets and being quiet about them. It was so funny though because it dragged on for a good 5 minutes. So I guess in all reality I should be thanking her for providing me with some entertainment prior to taking the sacrament.
Side note: the only reason this is so funny is because Debbie texted Dan the other day and said something along the lines of "why does everyone keep asking if we're dating?" VOMIT. I for one am insulted by this, and yes I realize I'm being rude and shallow, but if you knew Debbie, you would understand completely what I'm feeling.
Funniest moment at probably 2 in the morning, and only Abbie can appreciate it:
"He probably thinks I'm after them!"
Monday, November 15, 2010
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
Yes Taylor Swift was the inspiration for this title. And yes 1003 in the AM on Monday November 15. And yes, this post probably won't find blogger for another week or so. Oh and yes I am using the toaster to provide a source of heat for my frigid apartment...we've really gotta find a space heater.
So last night after the fireside, my roommates and I came home with an ABUNDANCE of energy. Anyone that's spent any amount of time with us knows that this is not necessarily the best thing to have on a Sunday evening. After hopping around our apartment (Abbie), it was settled that we were going to wrap Raegan up like a baby and deliver her to someone's house. While Abbie went out to the car to get some rope, we all hid and LOCKED HER OUT! Haha sneaky sneaky.
Right after we found Raegan under Brinlee's bed with the dust bunnies, Kelton walked in and willingly volunteered to let us wrap him up, tie him up, and deliver him to someone's house. Poor soul, he's such a good sport and trusts us entirely too much. Well, we started out just putting him outside the apartment across the way. Then we got the notion to go downstairs. Yes, Kelton hopped down the stairs while tied up into a blanket like a body back. It was a scary sight to say the least.
Long story short, we ended up doing this same thing to 7 apartments. Don't worry, we got a rolly chair so Kelton didn't have to hop everywhere. It was so funny because people kept shutting the door in his face and then he'd scoot up to the door and kick it with his foot to get them to open the door. We had a note attached to him and it said "Found Baby. Needs Home. Thanks :D" Bahaha we're so funny. But the best reaction by far was down at the firehouse and Myreel started to untie him and we all ran out to stop her. Oh man haha it was hilarious the look on her face, it was that sort of shell-shocked and seriously freaked out look all at once.
Then we came back and decided to make masks and be ninjas! Wa-cha!! At this point, Dan decided he was a little pooped out--but hey I would be too if I didn't go to bed till 4 in the morning....oh wait I did. But no worries, I was home with Abbie and Raegan and Rustin and Kendall. THAT is a whole other story in itself. So we ran--yes ran--to his car (it was just at the institute), and when I got home, you're never going to believe what happened to me! I got LOCKED OUT!!! I was gone for a whole 3 minutes and they locked me out. So I spent the rest of my evening with Tiffany and Jacquelyn, waiting for my roommates to return from pillaging Howards.
Great night. Awesome night. One for the books. Now it's time to make today a FANFREAKINTASTIC day. I can't wait. :]
I got this quote in institute this morning...and I really like it.
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. All that we suffer...especially when we endure it patiently builds up our characters, purifies...[and] expands our souls." --President Kimball
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