Big time.
Paying bills....finding car insurance...having to pay a crap ton of money that you don't really have for things that are "required" for nursing school. Oh but don't worry, because you'll use it through the whole thing. Right, like that's supposed to make me feel better right NOW about shelling out dolla bills every which way I turn. Not so much.
I guess it's only fair they make you fork out $10 K for my education and such so that one day I can make $60 K. Seems logical. Actually it seems really dumb. But who's complaining?
Oh that's right...me.
The end. Sorry this is such a downer. It's just frustrating.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Seven
Life is creeping up on me. And I'm not entirely a fan. In fact, I'm not that much of a fan at all. Today is our seven month anniversary. Don't judge that I'm excited about it. In all honesty, I have no idea where these last seven months have gone. But they've been absolutely wonderful.
It's the best thing in the entire world to know that when life gives you lemons, you don't have to make lemonade by yourself. You've got someone to share it with. Someone to laugh with you, cry with you. Someone to confide in, and someone to tell all the crazy things that pop into your head to (or maybe that one only applies to me....and well Raegan).
In the last seven months, I've learned so much about myself. A lot of things that I didn't know. First of all, I'm pretty selfish. That's horrible. And if you already knew this about me, why on earth didn't you say something?! I'm getting better at this though. I kind of think that learning to rely on someone else brings out the selfishness in you...stick with me on this one...and actually relying on them kind of sloughs off that selfishness because you realize it's not just you going through life anymore. You've got someone that falls when you fall, and someone that's also there to support you through your trials.
I have some of the best friends anyone in this entire world could ever ask for. I could just leave it at that and call it good. But I really do. It is one of the best feelings to know that you have friends that understand that life happens and sometimes you just can't keep in constant contact with them. I love that we could have not talked in ages, but just a text hello, or a hope you're doing well, and things pick up right where they were left. Those are the friends you keep for a lifetime. I for one, fully intend on that. I love having friends that you can call to vent the frustrations of life, only to have them tell you to buck it up, and grin and bear it because it sounds a lot like life. Sometimes all you need is a good kick in the butt to put that smile back on your face.
I married the most incredible man, and he is absolutely perfect for me. He has dreams and ambitions that I would have never even thought of at this point in our life. But he never stops thinking of things to do, or businesses that he wants to start. The best part is, I know he'll get there, because that's the kind of person he is. When he wants something, he gets it. Lately, he's been watching this show called Shark Tank. Brief overview, business entrepreneurs come to these 5 billionaires and ask for x amount of money for x amount of equity in their business, and they either strike a deal with them, or don't. So Dan was telling me about a business he wants to start, and I made the joke that he should go on shark tank and get an investment. His response: Heck no! I'm doing it the old-fashioned, American way! See what I mean? Drive and ambition. He's going places, and I'm lucky enough to be on the ride with him.
The Lord really knows what is best for me. It absolutely broke my heart when I decided not to do nursing school last year at EA. It shook my faith a little bit, and I felt so lost for awhile. Obviously, the Lord had bigger plans for me--like getting married and moving to Provo. I've gained such a great testimony of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. He could obviously see that this is what was going to be best for me and our family, and that this was the place we needed to be. It has been the hardest year watching 4 of my good friends start nursing school, and now they're done with their first year. I can't even tell you how many times I called my mom just crying because I felt so frustrated, defeated, and honestly let down. This was my dream! It had been my dream since I was just a little girl. But I've learned that life is not on my timing. Heck, it's never been on my time table. It's on the Lord's. And in the last seven months, I've really come to appreciate and recognize His hand in my life.
I am so privileged to be at BYU. I've never been one of those people that had their heart set on BYU. All my life, I've avoided it like the plague. I've sneared at people that praise it, with disgust. After being here a semester though, I think I can kind of understand why people talk about it the way they do. I'll still never be one of those people, but it really is a great school. I think this semester, I've taken the most from my Book of Mormon class. I have learned so much, and have developed such a love for it, and all the people that sacrificed so much to make sure that I would have it one day. I love the element of the gospel that gets applied to every class. It just brings everything full circle. I also get to be here with my sister, and that has been a huge blessing to have her close. I feel like we really got to be friends, and not just sisters, after I left for college. So it's been so awesome to have her so close, and still get to be friends and sisters. I love hearing all her stories, and it just makes me laugh because so many of them remind me of all the shennanigans Raegan, Abbie and I would get into.
I've come to really appreciate the principle of eternal marriage. I can't imagine being without Dan ever. It's amazing how much you think you love someone, only to realize days and weeks later, that that love has grown. I thought I loved him the day I married him, and I did, but looking back at how much that love has grown over seven short months is amazing. I love that I get to be with him forever! We have some close friends that we miss so so much, and they're getting sealed as a family with their little girl in January. I have been so blessed to be associated with them, and I'm beyond ecstatic for them! It has made me appreciate my eternal marriage that much more, and watching them work towards this goal as a family has been such a testimony builder of conquering trials and reaching your goals. We love you guys so so much!!
I don't really know where to end this, but I've been so richly blessed in my life, and I'm so eternally grateful for it all. This life is no picnic, that's for sure. But today is just one of those days that I get to celebrate the amazing person I picked to have right beside me the entire way. I love you Dan. Forever and ever. :]
It's the best thing in the entire world to know that when life gives you lemons, you don't have to make lemonade by yourself. You've got someone to share it with. Someone to laugh with you, cry with you. Someone to confide in, and someone to tell all the crazy things that pop into your head to (or maybe that one only applies to me....and well Raegan).
In the last seven months, I've learned so much about myself. A lot of things that I didn't know. First of all, I'm pretty selfish. That's horrible. And if you already knew this about me, why on earth didn't you say something?! I'm getting better at this though. I kind of think that learning to rely on someone else brings out the selfishness in you...stick with me on this one...and actually relying on them kind of sloughs off that selfishness because you realize it's not just you going through life anymore. You've got someone that falls when you fall, and someone that's also there to support you through your trials.
I have some of the best friends anyone in this entire world could ever ask for. I could just leave it at that and call it good. But I really do. It is one of the best feelings to know that you have friends that understand that life happens and sometimes you just can't keep in constant contact with them. I love that we could have not talked in ages, but just a text hello, or a hope you're doing well, and things pick up right where they were left. Those are the friends you keep for a lifetime. I for one, fully intend on that. I love having friends that you can call to vent the frustrations of life, only to have them tell you to buck it up, and grin and bear it because it sounds a lot like life. Sometimes all you need is a good kick in the butt to put that smile back on your face.
I married the most incredible man, and he is absolutely perfect for me. He has dreams and ambitions that I would have never even thought of at this point in our life. But he never stops thinking of things to do, or businesses that he wants to start. The best part is, I know he'll get there, because that's the kind of person he is. When he wants something, he gets it. Lately, he's been watching this show called Shark Tank. Brief overview, business entrepreneurs come to these 5 billionaires and ask for x amount of money for x amount of equity in their business, and they either strike a deal with them, or don't. So Dan was telling me about a business he wants to start, and I made the joke that he should go on shark tank and get an investment. His response: Heck no! I'm doing it the old-fashioned, American way! See what I mean? Drive and ambition. He's going places, and I'm lucky enough to be on the ride with him.
The Lord really knows what is best for me. It absolutely broke my heart when I decided not to do nursing school last year at EA. It shook my faith a little bit, and I felt so lost for awhile. Obviously, the Lord had bigger plans for me--like getting married and moving to Provo. I've gained such a great testimony of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. He could obviously see that this is what was going to be best for me and our family, and that this was the place we needed to be. It has been the hardest year watching 4 of my good friends start nursing school, and now they're done with their first year. I can't even tell you how many times I called my mom just crying because I felt so frustrated, defeated, and honestly let down. This was my dream! It had been my dream since I was just a little girl. But I've learned that life is not on my timing. Heck, it's never been on my time table. It's on the Lord's. And in the last seven months, I've really come to appreciate and recognize His hand in my life.
I am so privileged to be at BYU. I've never been one of those people that had their heart set on BYU. All my life, I've avoided it like the plague. I've sneared at people that praise it, with disgust. After being here a semester though, I think I can kind of understand why people talk about it the way they do. I'll still never be one of those people, but it really is a great school. I think this semester, I've taken the most from my Book of Mormon class. I have learned so much, and have developed such a love for it, and all the people that sacrificed so much to make sure that I would have it one day. I love the element of the gospel that gets applied to every class. It just brings everything full circle. I also get to be here with my sister, and that has been a huge blessing to have her close. I feel like we really got to be friends, and not just sisters, after I left for college. So it's been so awesome to have her so close, and still get to be friends and sisters. I love hearing all her stories, and it just makes me laugh because so many of them remind me of all the shennanigans Raegan, Abbie and I would get into.
I've come to really appreciate the principle of eternal marriage. I can't imagine being without Dan ever. It's amazing how much you think you love someone, only to realize days and weeks later, that that love has grown. I thought I loved him the day I married him, and I did, but looking back at how much that love has grown over seven short months is amazing. I love that I get to be with him forever! We have some close friends that we miss so so much, and they're getting sealed as a family with their little girl in January. I have been so blessed to be associated with them, and I'm beyond ecstatic for them! It has made me appreciate my eternal marriage that much more, and watching them work towards this goal as a family has been such a testimony builder of conquering trials and reaching your goals. We love you guys so so much!!
I don't really know where to end this, but I've been so richly blessed in my life, and I'm so eternally grateful for it all. This life is no picnic, that's for sure. But today is just one of those days that I get to celebrate the amazing person I picked to have right beside me the entire way. I love you Dan. Forever and ever. :]
Monday, December 12, 2011
The means to an end.
I think you know what I'm talking about. The dreaded finals. Actually I haven't really been dreading finals all that much. Mostly because I'm really only worried about one final...and that one I'm taking today at 230. So I should probably be studying, but my little brain is so full right now, I'm pretty sure little black words are leaking out of my ears. If you see them around campus, please return them.
On second thought...don't. And to top that off, my little eyes are so stinking tired, and they are practically begging me to go back to sleep. I came home with every intention of taking a 30 minute nap (power nap = much more successful studying). Good plan right? Well I came home to find our bed made. I love that Dan took the time to make it before he went to work this morning, but I was thinking to myself, dang it! I can't take a nap now! I don't want to mess up the bed.
So I'm blogging.
I had a Book of Mormon final at 7 this morning. I showed up around 8 (it's one of those that he just collects the test at 10, so you can get there whenever). I finished by 840, went and sold 2 of my textbooks back. Walked out $89 dollars richer...which is just getting put to more books. That's the depressing thought. I can't even go spend it on something for Dan for Christmas, because I just have more stuff to buy for school.
Seriously, I almost had a complete panic attack when I was reading all the things I need to start nursing school next semester. But everything's all good now, and it's just cranking out these finals one at a time. So if you happen to read this either today or tomorrow, shoot a little prayer my way. I could sure use it :]
Oh and ps...it's almost Christmas!! just in case you forgot.
On second thought...don't. And to top that off, my little eyes are so stinking tired, and they are practically begging me to go back to sleep. I came home with every intention of taking a 30 minute nap (power nap = much more successful studying). Good plan right? Well I came home to find our bed made. I love that Dan took the time to make it before he went to work this morning, but I was thinking to myself, dang it! I can't take a nap now! I don't want to mess up the bed.
So I'm blogging.
I had a Book of Mormon final at 7 this morning. I showed up around 8 (it's one of those that he just collects the test at 10, so you can get there whenever). I finished by 840, went and sold 2 of my textbooks back. Walked out $89 dollars richer...which is just getting put to more books. That's the depressing thought. I can't even go spend it on something for Dan for Christmas, because I just have more stuff to buy for school.
Seriously, I almost had a complete panic attack when I was reading all the things I need to start nursing school next semester. But everything's all good now, and it's just cranking out these finals one at a time. So if you happen to read this either today or tomorrow, shoot a little prayer my way. I could sure use it :]
Oh and ps...it's almost Christmas!! just in case you forgot.
Friday, December 9, 2011
It's been another one of those days
One of those days that started out really rough and felt like I was scraping my face on the asphalt. Yeah one of them. Let's just say that it's like a huge bug hit the windshield and splatter it's guts in just the right spot so I couldn't see.
I read this quote:
"Faith isn't tested so much when the cupboard is full as when it is bare." --Elder Lynn G. Robbins
True story. I could say amen right there and call this post good.
But as the day went on, I was doing homework and stuff, and Dan came home from work early. I had missed him so much today. It was a little ridiculous to be honest. I just curled up on the couch next to him, we talked about what had happened earlier in the day, and I just felt the love of my Heavenly Father immediately. I felt Him wrap His arms around me and just hold me so tightly.
Then I read this quote:
"No pain that we suffer is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called children of God and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven." --Orson F. Whitney
We're not out of the fog by any means, but I can see just a little bit more clearly through that smog as we're walking through the valleys. Life is made of mountains and valleys. We're walking through a valley right now, but I know that as long as we keep striving to pay our tithing and read our scriptures and keeping the desires of our hearts righteous, the Lord is going to bless us. He won't take the trial away, but He'll provide a way for us to make it through this. I know that. I know that with all my heart.
....and now I'm headed back to the grindstone. To finish homework. 4 tests and I'm done with my first semester at BYU!
I read this quote:
"Faith isn't tested so much when the cupboard is full as when it is bare." --Elder Lynn G. Robbins
True story. I could say amen right there and call this post good.
But as the day went on, I was doing homework and stuff, and Dan came home from work early. I had missed him so much today. It was a little ridiculous to be honest. I just curled up on the couch next to him, we talked about what had happened earlier in the day, and I just felt the love of my Heavenly Father immediately. I felt Him wrap His arms around me and just hold me so tightly.
Then I read this quote:
"No pain that we suffer is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called children of God and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven." --Orson F. Whitney
We're not out of the fog by any means, but I can see just a little bit more clearly through that smog as we're walking through the valleys. Life is made of mountains and valleys. We're walking through a valley right now, but I know that as long as we keep striving to pay our tithing and read our scriptures and keeping the desires of our hearts righteous, the Lord is going to bless us. He won't take the trial away, but He'll provide a way for us to make it through this. I know that. I know that with all my heart.
....and now I'm headed back to the grindstone. To finish homework. 4 tests and I'm done with my first semester at BYU!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Times like these
So I really need to get more creative with these titles, because I'm pretty sure the only difference between this one and the first one is the first word. Pathetic.
Days/Times...whatever you want to call it...like these make me miss the way things used to be just a few short months ago.
Texas: as much as I hated you and the sweltering humid heat, I have some of the best memories from you. I got to hang out with one of my best friends Jaynee every day, work out, and lay poolside working on the tan, and talking about everything the way girls do. I miss that a lot.
I miss having girlfriends period that I can just call and tell them I'm coming over, and we don't really do much of anything all day. I miss talking about all the crazy things that are happening in our lives, and the drama that was going around the office. I miss talking about Izzee girl. I can't wait to meet that adorable little neice of mine. How pathetic is it that I love her so much already, and I've never even met her!
I mean look at her! Who could not love this adorable little girl!
Its funny how you get used to things being the way they are, right before they change on you. Jaynee and I would talk a lot and joke around about how we wished we would have been friends sooner, but she scared us, and we bugged the crap out of her! Haha funny stuff.
I miss my roommates, Abbie and Raegan. We did so much crazy crap together, and we didn't have a care in the world. Okay, maybe like one or two. But it didn't ever show. We took spontaneous trips down to the river to tan on the conversion dam and read Me and Mr. Darcy. We stayed up till all hours of the morning talking about life and the things we do to get by. I miss that. A lot.
I miss reading scriptures with Dan every morning before he left for work. It always started my day off on the right foot, so that at least if something was going to go wrong, we had done one thing right that day. I kind of feel like we get stuck in the routine of school and work, and we just don't make the time to read them. I miss that a lot.
I miss having class with Dan four days a week. It was so fun going to anatomy and knowing that I would get to see him. I mean yeah I get to see him every day now, and that is the best thing ever-don't get me wrong. But it was nice that in addition to seeing him just about every day when we were dating that we go to have class together to. And I miss beating him on tests ;] just kidding! I miss the way he'd fall asleep every Thursday in lab, and all the little side conversation's we'd be having with Damron and Hope, Jodi, and Steph all while Ms. G was teaching. Oops!
I miss the sun, and the heat. Seriously, this cold crap is ridiculous! It was 17 degrees yesterday and the high was only 28. Yeah not cool. I miss the feeling of the heat on my skin. The sun I swear only gives light right now, no heat. Depressing thought.
I miss the simplicity that Texas offered, when the only thing I had to worry about was what to make for dinner, and making sure we paid utilities on time. Yeah, that was the life I'm telling you. And not that life got all that much more complicated after we moved to Utah, but school does something to you. It seriously just sucks the energy out of you and along with it, it's just so much harder to be happy. Maybe that's just because finals are next week and I'm feeling a little stressed (emphasis on the little).
But at the end of the day, I would trade any of things, because seriously, if we could have it all, and all at once, I don't think I'd really be as happy and I think I would. It's too much. I guess what I'm realizing as I write this is that there's a time and a season for everything, and a purpose for everything as well.
I am so grateful that for even a small instance, all these things got to be mine. How lucky am I? At the end of the day, I'm so extremely blessed that I wouldn't even know where to start listing off the blessings. So don't mind the melancholy reminiscing, and a little bit of complaining, but I really am grateful for each of these things in my life, and so much more.
I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life.
Days/Times...whatever you want to call it...like these make me miss the way things used to be just a few short months ago.
Texas: as much as I hated you and the sweltering humid heat, I have some of the best memories from you. I got to hang out with one of my best friends Jaynee every day, work out, and lay poolside working on the tan, and talking about everything the way girls do. I miss that a lot.
I miss having girlfriends period that I can just call and tell them I'm coming over, and we don't really do much of anything all day. I miss talking about all the crazy things that are happening in our lives, and the drama that was going around the office. I miss talking about Izzee girl. I can't wait to meet that adorable little neice of mine. How pathetic is it that I love her so much already, and I've never even met her!
I mean look at her! Who could not love this adorable little girl!
Its funny how you get used to things being the way they are, right before they change on you. Jaynee and I would talk a lot and joke around about how we wished we would have been friends sooner, but she scared us, and we bugged the crap out of her! Haha funny stuff.
I miss my roommates, Abbie and Raegan. We did so much crazy crap together, and we didn't have a care in the world. Okay, maybe like one or two. But it didn't ever show. We took spontaneous trips down to the river to tan on the conversion dam and read Me and Mr. Darcy. We stayed up till all hours of the morning talking about life and the things we do to get by. I miss that. A lot.
I miss reading scriptures with Dan every morning before he left for work. It always started my day off on the right foot, so that at least if something was going to go wrong, we had done one thing right that day. I kind of feel like we get stuck in the routine of school and work, and we just don't make the time to read them. I miss that a lot.
I miss having class with Dan four days a week. It was so fun going to anatomy and knowing that I would get to see him. I mean yeah I get to see him every day now, and that is the best thing ever-don't get me wrong. But it was nice that in addition to seeing him just about every day when we were dating that we go to have class together to. And I miss beating him on tests ;] just kidding! I miss the way he'd fall asleep every Thursday in lab, and all the little side conversation's we'd be having with Damron and Hope, Jodi, and Steph all while Ms. G was teaching. Oops!
I miss the sun, and the heat. Seriously, this cold crap is ridiculous! It was 17 degrees yesterday and the high was only 28. Yeah not cool. I miss the feeling of the heat on my skin. The sun I swear only gives light right now, no heat. Depressing thought.
I miss the simplicity that Texas offered, when the only thing I had to worry about was what to make for dinner, and making sure we paid utilities on time. Yeah, that was the life I'm telling you. And not that life got all that much more complicated after we moved to Utah, but school does something to you. It seriously just sucks the energy out of you and along with it, it's just so much harder to be happy. Maybe that's just because finals are next week and I'm feeling a little stressed (emphasis on the little).
But at the end of the day, I would trade any of things, because seriously, if we could have it all, and all at once, I don't think I'd really be as happy and I think I would. It's too much. I guess what I'm realizing as I write this is that there's a time and a season for everything, and a purpose for everything as well.
I am so grateful that for even a small instance, all these things got to be mine. How lucky am I? At the end of the day, I'm so extremely blessed that I wouldn't even know where to start listing off the blessings. So don't mind the melancholy reminiscing, and a little bit of complaining, but I really am grateful for each of these things in my life, and so much more.
I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life.
Days like these
Can only be more perfectly described with country music.
Maybe I'll have something more chipper to say later. As for now, it just sounds like life to me. The only thing for certain is uncertainty.
Maybe I'll have something more chipper to say later. As for now, it just sounds like life to me. The only thing for certain is uncertainty.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Just a few things
I'm an epic failure at blogging. That much is entirely too obvious. But seriously for one, I don't really feel like there's too much to write about. I mean, our days are pretty routine and the only things that are special and stick out are things that I don't really feel like I have to words to explain.
Anyway, we're doing great. It legitimately snowed today. Thank goodness it didn't stick. But when I came home during Sunday school today, it was hitting me in the face and sticking to my jacket. Yeah not cool. Seriously I have 6 more days of school. And I would be oh so grateful if it didn't snow till after those 6 days are over, because who seriously wants to walk around campus in the snow? Not this girl.
So that being said, school is almost over. I'm so so so excited to be able to breathe...for 2.5 weeks and then school starts all over again. Yeah not much of a Christmas break, but I'm hoping that it will be just enough to let my brain rest, before I put my nose to the grindstone with nursing school.
I'm so so grateful for the opportunity I had to see my family over Thanksgiving. It was so great to just spend the weekend with them and enjoy family time, and no school. I love that Thanksgiving starts of the entire holiday season, because there's not gifts or presents, just good food, family, and a million and a half reasons to be thankful.
I don't usually get too excited for Christmas until Christmas Eve, literally. It's a little pathetic. But there's something about this year. I really think it's because it's mine and Dan's first Christmas together. Seriously!! How cool is that! Oh man it's a stinkin pain trying to find something for him. I went shopping to get him something, and ended up finding the one thing for him, and 10 different things for me. Okay it was really only 2 things for me, and one thing for us together, and then a gift for him, but seriously he's a hard person to shop for! I don't know what he wants, and there's definitely nothing we need!
So if anyone has good suggestions, text me!!
Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to Christmas with my love. It's gonna be probably my favorite Christmas yet.
Anyway, we're doing great. It legitimately snowed today. Thank goodness it didn't stick. But when I came home during Sunday school today, it was hitting me in the face and sticking to my jacket. Yeah not cool. Seriously I have 6 more days of school. And I would be oh so grateful if it didn't snow till after those 6 days are over, because who seriously wants to walk around campus in the snow? Not this girl.
So that being said, school is almost over. I'm so so so excited to be able to breathe...for 2.5 weeks and then school starts all over again. Yeah not much of a Christmas break, but I'm hoping that it will be just enough to let my brain rest, before I put my nose to the grindstone with nursing school.
I'm so so grateful for the opportunity I had to see my family over Thanksgiving. It was so great to just spend the weekend with them and enjoy family time, and no school. I love that Thanksgiving starts of the entire holiday season, because there's not gifts or presents, just good food, family, and a million and a half reasons to be thankful.
I don't usually get too excited for Christmas until Christmas Eve, literally. It's a little pathetic. But there's something about this year. I really think it's because it's mine and Dan's first Christmas together. Seriously!! How cool is that! Oh man it's a stinkin pain trying to find something for him. I went shopping to get him something, and ended up finding the one thing for him, and 10 different things for me. Okay it was really only 2 things for me, and one thing for us together, and then a gift for him, but seriously he's a hard person to shop for! I don't know what he wants, and there's definitely nothing we need!
So if anyone has good suggestions, text me!!
Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to Christmas with my love. It's gonna be probably my favorite Christmas yet.
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