It makes her feel close.

So I like sleeping with the Mater side of my blanket closest to me. It makes me feel just a little bit closer, like somehow it makes him not as far away.

I’ve let go…finally. I guess three months into a serious relationship is about dang time to let it go. As much as I’d like to think my own little noodle came up with this on its own, it didn’t. I had a little help (okay a lot of help) along the way.

It’s time. Time to recognize the beautiful blessings I’ve been given, and that there is a time and a season for everything. I was given one of the greatest blessings in a friend at that point in my life in Jake Clark.

He was everything I could have ever asked for in a friend and always knew what to say or how to say it even if I didn’t want to hear it, especially when I didn’t want to hear that. I will forever and always cherish the friendship we made and I will be grateful to him for a very, very long time for all the things I have learned from him. I’ve learned to be a little more patient and understanding of people and what is going on—now I’m still working on it. It’s a constant work in progress. Anyone that is around me for an extended amount of time could tell you that. But I am trying. I’ve also learned to rely on the Lord, not from him, but he was always a good example of just the basic and simple reading your scriptures and saying your prayers on a daily basis.

In learning to more fully rely on the Lord, I have recognized another blessing I’ve been given in Dan Haban. I honestly for the life of me cannot figure out why he has stuck around for so long when it’s taken me this long to realize what I have! Holy crap I probably would’ve hit the road running a LONG time ago. I’m still learning from him, so much. I’ve learned how to laugh and have fun in new ways. I mean who would’ve ever thought that getting eaten alive by mosquitoes while coyote calling would be fun…but it is! Or making a “love-sac” from two yards of bright orange fleece? Or even just turning the couches around and watching Grey’s Anatomy? I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun and been so happy.

Talking to Abbie tonight helped me realize some things too. Jake is always going to be a friend. That is not changing. I’ll still write him letters because that’s what friends do: support and uplift each other. But Dan…he’s something different. And I intend to hold onto that for a long time.

I don’t know how much of this is making sense because well it’s almost 3 in the morning and I’ve been slightly delusional for the last couple of hours…I’m blaming Raegan and Abbie…oh and Martinelli’s.

Recognize a good thing…a great thing…perhaps the best thing, when you’ve got it. And then do all that you can to hold onto it. I’m glad I’ve recognized mine. Have you?

See 2011: I’m already just a little wiser…and it’s only been 3 hours! Think of what a whole year will do!

He's worth keepin around

Okay so I know it's ridiculously lame to blog about my boyfriend, but as of late, he's been pretty funny. And these funnies (okay there's really only one funny) are definitely blog worthy.

1. It's a boy!!!
Yes. You read that right. Dan decided he wanted to make a fleece blanket--probably because I talk about how much I love mine and how warm it is. Anyway, so we went to WalMart and he told me to pick out a side and he'd pick out the other side. Alright...well I guess this blanket could mismatch horribly, but since it's not mine it really doesn't matter does it? So we perusing the aisles of fleece and there was this Winnie the pooh print and it looked like baby fabric! So I pointed that out, and never again will I ever say what comes to my head without thinking about it first...because it set up the entire evening.

I said: It looks like baby fabric! No big deal right? Wrong. Dan gave me the weirdest look like OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT. So I just laughed and kept walking, obviously hiding the embarrassment. So we finally picked out the sides: I picked the little mermaid and he picked cars. It's a very mature college blanket. Then out of no where, Dan says: You know what we can call this?! The BABY MAKER!! Now for those of you who haven't seen the proposal, the blanket that's on the bed is called the baby maker.

We are getting the fabric cut and Dan so kindly tells the WalMart employee (her name is Erin) that it's going to be our baby's blanket. The conversation goes as follows.

Erin: Oh are you expecting?! (With a cute grin on her face)
Me: (Complete and utter shock with a look that could've stopped Dan dead in his tracks) No. No I'm not.
Erin: Are you two engaged?
Me: Nope, just dating.

So as we were leaving, Dan offers to carry the fabric and I quickly informed him that the blanket was for MY baby so I could carry it. When I came home and told Abbie about it, she was telling me about a blog we both read and how the lady is pregnant and according to a Chinese calendar, she's having a boy! So Abbie and I looked it up, and according to the Chinese calendar, Dan and I would have to be having a boy. See for yourself! Click yourself :]

2. I'm thankful for...
I'm just gonna paste this text word for word. Not gonna lie, I almost cried. Almost...
Things I'm thankful for: Someone who allows me to be myself, someone who makes time just for me and spends that time making me feel like the biggest man on campus (small joke lol), someone who makes me want to be smarter every time I open a book, someone who allows me to be faithful to my priesthood, someone who takes my breath away every moment I'm with her, someone who I believe to be the prettiest girl alive. What am I grateful for? I'm grateful for you!

How do you even respond to that?! All I know is I'm one lucky girl...

I guess to finish this off, after this weekend, he's worth keeping around. Everyone's been asking me about him, and honestly I've never felt so shy in my whole life. I just want to hide behind my mom! It's really weird. I talk about just about everything else in my life, but get that personal and apparently I shut down and close off. Didn't know that about myself until a couple of days ago. Back to Dan, he is such a great guy, and I would be so happy with him...so so happy. So we'll just have to see. He makes me so happy. I guess you never realize how much you're lacking sometimes. Weird.



Going on the quote board as soon as I get home!!
"Probably not cause he's so buff and I'm so boobish."