First things first: I could NEVER ever ever EVER have done this without these two.
The devil takes physical form in a test known as the NCLEX.
The devil takes physical form in a test known as the NCLEX.
Those five innocent letters put together equal the most terrifying and horrific test to culminate my nursing career.
Let's preface this by saying I am the world's greatest procrastinator.
If there was a medal for it, I would win.
Not even kidding.
I had a great plan for passing said test.
I gave myself a two week break after school (Christmas break and all).
We were traveling to AZ for a few days over New Years anyway, so I figured it was a good time to take a break.
Then, we totaled our car driving to AZ.
Another story for another day.
When we got back from our adventure, I had every intention of studying!
The thing is, I seriously could not make myself care for the life of me.
To add insult to injury, I was already working full time and trying to adjust to life post-graduation.
Honestly, I was probably a little depressed.
It's a hard transition going from having a million things to do all the time to just working and studying for this heinous test.
I had to wait for my authorization to test, and that wouldn't happen until after my degree had been posted.
Degree posted on January 6.
I got online and filled out the application with DOPL.
I drove up one morning in the week following the degree posting to get my fingerprints done.
One of the nastiest mornings to drive all the way up to SLC.
All the rain made for an interesting drive up.
I turned in my application, got my fingerprints done, and paid the $100 application fee.
I was told it could take up to a week before getting my authorization to test.
Drove back and went to work.
I set up my account with Pearson View as well.
That was a little nerve-racking.
Then my ATT came in through my email.
Two days after submitting my application.
I died.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was the real deal.
I had 30 days to take my exam (by February 13).
Somehow, I mustered the courage to sign up for my exam.
I initially set it up for 2.2.15, which was a Monday.
After thinking about it more, I changed it to that Thursday, 2.5.15.
Paying the $200 to Pearson View and hitting submit nearly killed me.
Everyone at work was laughing at me.
I was pretty determined not to let anyone know when I was taking my test.
I don't think I could have handled it if I didn't pass and everyone was asking me about it.
The only people that knew besides my family were Amanda, Brenna, and Laura, the other nurses I work with.
I think I finally caved and told Dr. Garry and Scott, with strict instructions that they were not allowed to ask about the test the day after.
Thankfully, they listened.
I was okay at doing practice questions.
Okay I was horrible at it.
If I did one chapter a day, I was feeling pretty good!
Nothing that I felt would be enough to pass, but I was trying.
I remembered Renea telling us to study, pray, and then get a blessing.
I also had a thought to go to the temple.
I have been absolutely horrible about making the time to go this last year.
I've had every excuse in the book, and it's really pathetic that I'm surrounded by temples but can't make the time to go.
Well, we made the time to go.
And Satan put in overtime to make sure that didn't happen.
We went about two weeks before my test, and it took everything in me to get through the front doors.
It felt like I was pushing through a sea of something and everything was pulling me back.
Spiritually, I was fighting to get through those doors.
It was incredible the instant relief I felt as soon as I crossed that threshold.
It brought me to tears right there in the lobby of the temple.
I felt so lost and in such dire need of help that it was everything I could do to keep it together.
I remember telling Dan how afraid I was that I wouldn't pass.
I wasn't studying enough.
I knew that.
But I also knew that I was smart.
I could do this.
The next weekend, the weekend before my exam, we also went to the temple.
It was in this experience I had the feeling of calm and peace come over me.
It wasn't exactly comforting.
It was a peace that whatever happens, it will all be okay.
Not exactly reassuring, but it was all I had.
The week of the test, I didn't do a single question.
I did look at Renea's lecture notes and test taking strategies.
Those were INSANELY helpful!
The morning of my test, I got a blessing from my wonderful husband.
I don't remember much of what was said.
The only thing that sticks out about it was one phrase.
"Let your faith be greater than your fear"
I recalled this phrase many times throughout the rest of Thursday morning.
I headed out the door, put the address in my GPS.
It said it would take me an hour to get there!
I totally started freaking out.
I could not for the life of me figure out why it would take an hour to get to Draper.
I remembered that phrase again.
I turned on my location, and that time was cut in half.
I would make it just in time for the test at 8am.
Faith greater than fear.
My stomach ended up with a lead weight in it at some point on that drive.
Walking in to the building, I felt like I was signing my life away.
It was all on the line.
Right here.
Right now.
The culmination of my entire education reduced to one test.
As I was checking in, the guy asked me how I was doing.
"Okay."
It was honest.
I wasn't good, or great, or even remotely happy for that matter.
This all just needed to be over and done with so I didn't have to think about it.
I was escorted back to my cubicle to take my test.
I turned off the question counter.
I did not want to know where I was at.
I also didn't want to start freaking out if the test didn't shut off after 75 questions.
At this point, I just had to have faith that my education had prepared me.
That I was ready for this test.
That Heavenly Father would pull through for me.
The last time I checked the question counter was question #67.
I answered the question in front of me and had a thought that I would check where I was at after this questions.
I answered it, clicked next, and my test shut off.
I totally jumped in my seat.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was over.
I had no idea how many questions I had answered.
I raised my hand and the proctor came and got me from my seat.
I signed out and left.
It was over.
All that stress for an hour and a half test.
I drove home, met Dan for late breakfast at Ihop, and decided that I should probably go to work.
I didn't want to be bored at home.
Dan had class.
Might as well go to work and make some money.
Amanda started checking that night to see if I had passed my NCLEX.
She would check DOPL to see if my license had been posted.
Scott started checking too.
I was determined not to look until Monday at least.
The weekend came and went.
Monday morning, I checked DOPL right when I woke up (5am).
License status: ACTIVE.
I shot straight up out of bed and kept saying "I passed! I passed!"
A few weeks later, I got my license in the mail.
It's pretty legit.
And now, I can officially say I'm a nurse.
Arielle, RN.
Hell yes.
Not even kidding.
I had a great plan for passing said test.
I gave myself a two week break after school (Christmas break and all).
We were traveling to AZ for a few days over New Years anyway, so I figured it was a good time to take a break.
Then, we totaled our car driving to AZ.
Another story for another day.
When we got back from our adventure, I had every intention of studying!
The thing is, I seriously could not make myself care for the life of me.
To add insult to injury, I was already working full time and trying to adjust to life post-graduation.
Honestly, I was probably a little depressed.
It's a hard transition going from having a million things to do all the time to just working and studying for this heinous test.
I had to wait for my authorization to test, and that wouldn't happen until after my degree had been posted.
Degree posted on January 6.
I got online and filled out the application with DOPL.
I drove up one morning in the week following the degree posting to get my fingerprints done.
One of the nastiest mornings to drive all the way up to SLC.
All the rain made for an interesting drive up.
I turned in my application, got my fingerprints done, and paid the $100 application fee.
I was told it could take up to a week before getting my authorization to test.
Drove back and went to work.
I set up my account with Pearson View as well.
That was a little nerve-racking.
Then my ATT came in through my email.
Two days after submitting my application.
I died.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was the real deal.
I had 30 days to take my exam (by February 13).
Somehow, I mustered the courage to sign up for my exam.
I initially set it up for 2.2.15, which was a Monday.
After thinking about it more, I changed it to that Thursday, 2.5.15.
Paying the $200 to Pearson View and hitting submit nearly killed me.
Everyone at work was laughing at me.
I was pretty determined not to let anyone know when I was taking my test.
I don't think I could have handled it if I didn't pass and everyone was asking me about it.
The only people that knew besides my family were Amanda, Brenna, and Laura, the other nurses I work with.
I think I finally caved and told Dr. Garry and Scott, with strict instructions that they were not allowed to ask about the test the day after.
Thankfully, they listened.
I was okay at doing practice questions.
Okay I was horrible at it.
If I did one chapter a day, I was feeling pretty good!
Nothing that I felt would be enough to pass, but I was trying.
I remembered Renea telling us to study, pray, and then get a blessing.
I also had a thought to go to the temple.
I have been absolutely horrible about making the time to go this last year.
I've had every excuse in the book, and it's really pathetic that I'm surrounded by temples but can't make the time to go.
Well, we made the time to go.
And Satan put in overtime to make sure that didn't happen.
We went about two weeks before my test, and it took everything in me to get through the front doors.
It felt like I was pushing through a sea of something and everything was pulling me back.
Spiritually, I was fighting to get through those doors.
It was incredible the instant relief I felt as soon as I crossed that threshold.
It brought me to tears right there in the lobby of the temple.
I felt so lost and in such dire need of help that it was everything I could do to keep it together.
I remember telling Dan how afraid I was that I wouldn't pass.
I wasn't studying enough.
I knew that.
But I also knew that I was smart.
I could do this.
The next weekend, the weekend before my exam, we also went to the temple.
It was in this experience I had the feeling of calm and peace come over me.
It wasn't exactly comforting.
It was a peace that whatever happens, it will all be okay.
Not exactly reassuring, but it was all I had.
The week of the test, I didn't do a single question.
I did look at Renea's lecture notes and test taking strategies.
Those were INSANELY helpful!
The morning of my test, I got a blessing from my wonderful husband.
I don't remember much of what was said.
The only thing that sticks out about it was one phrase.
"Let your faith be greater than your fear"
I recalled this phrase many times throughout the rest of Thursday morning.
I headed out the door, put the address in my GPS.
It said it would take me an hour to get there!
I totally started freaking out.
I could not for the life of me figure out why it would take an hour to get to Draper.
I remembered that phrase again.
I turned on my location, and that time was cut in half.
I would make it just in time for the test at 8am.
Faith greater than fear.
My stomach ended up with a lead weight in it at some point on that drive.
Walking in to the building, I felt like I was signing my life away.
It was all on the line.
Right here.
Right now.
The culmination of my entire education reduced to one test.
As I was checking in, the guy asked me how I was doing.
"Okay."
It was honest.
I wasn't good, or great, or even remotely happy for that matter.
This all just needed to be over and done with so I didn't have to think about it.
I was escorted back to my cubicle to take my test.
I turned off the question counter.
I did not want to know where I was at.
I also didn't want to start freaking out if the test didn't shut off after 75 questions.
At this point, I just had to have faith that my education had prepared me.
That I was ready for this test.
That Heavenly Father would pull through for me.
The last time I checked the question counter was question #67.
I answered the question in front of me and had a thought that I would check where I was at after this questions.
I answered it, clicked next, and my test shut off.
I totally jumped in my seat.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was over.
I had no idea how many questions I had answered.
I raised my hand and the proctor came and got me from my seat.
I signed out and left.
It was over.
All that stress for an hour and a half test.
I drove home, met Dan for late breakfast at Ihop, and decided that I should probably go to work.
I didn't want to be bored at home.
Dan had class.
Might as well go to work and make some money.
Amanda started checking that night to see if I had passed my NCLEX.
She would check DOPL to see if my license had been posted.
Scott started checking too.
I was determined not to look until Monday at least.
The weekend came and went.
Monday morning, I checked DOPL right when I woke up (5am).
License status: ACTIVE.
I shot straight up out of bed and kept saying "I passed! I passed!"
A few weeks later, I got my license in the mail.
It's pretty legit.
And now, I can officially say I'm a nurse.
Arielle, RN.
Hell yes.
