Winner winner Chicken dinner!

Let me start off by saying I never win anything. Ever. So much to the point that I stop even trying because I'm just like "ehh...whatevs." You know the feeling. Second, my best friend is getting married next week (HOLLAH) so you can only guess what that means....ARIZONA NEXT WEEK! I'm so stoked to get out of this horrendous cold weather and see some sunshine that actually has some heat packed into it! Of course, I'm also starting to get sick. It hit me yesterday, and today it's gotten worse. I think it's just a cold, but I've been downing mucinex like a mother to try and nip it in the butt. 

But back to contests. Dan works with a lady who is a part of this blog: http://ryrpacers.blogspot.com. Check it out. It's actually pretty cool. Well they were having a giveaway and Dan said we should enter because the prize was compression socks. I have been looking  into getting a pair of stockings for nursing because I can already feel my legs hurting halfway through the shift. I really really REALLY do not want varicose veins either. Hand over the granny stockings and keep my legs looking pretty! Anyway, so we entered the contest. Moved on with life, did homework, and went to bed. Oh and I took some mucinex...

I had lab this morning. Chest tubes and phlebotomy. Great fun actually, except we didn't know we were sticking each other. Luckily, it was successful on all fronts. I had a successful draw and Morgan had a successful draw on me! Susie (one of our instructors) had a vein finder/scanner type thing. I think we decided it reads the oxygenation off your skin with this red light...anyway, your veins are completely black under this light. It was LEGIT!! This is what it looked like under the light, except pretend the light was red instead of green. Same idea though. (picture pulled from the internet-I was too fascinated to take my own picture)

I have research right after, and I had 2 different texts from Dan saying Guess what?! Well, 2 hours later, I texted him back and then he said that I had won the compression socks!!! I totally didn't believe him, because I really never win anything. I checked on my phone though, and sure enough I had won! 

Crazy stuff huh?! Anyway, it just about made my entire day. That, and I didn't hyperventilate when Morgan was sticking me with the needle. I really am quite ridiculous and seriously traumatized. Oh well...it can only go up from here! So these are the kind of socks I'm getting! I picked black just so Dan and I can both wear them. I'm so so excited!!! (Photo from procompression.com).

Happy Thursday everyone!! Off to run errands and get crap done. 

ARIZONA BOUND NEXT WEEK!!!

Challenge

Leaving the gym yesterday, I really remembered why I've let things get this way. It is hard. Really effing hard (for lack of a better word). Guess what makes it even harder? When you're dehydrated. Word. So here's the story. Yesterday I had a med-surg test that I didn't start studying for until Tuesday morning. Procrastinating? Yes. Basically I've worked procrastination to an art. I should probably get an award. Anyway, back to the story. So I went to school at 11 and was at school from 11-6. Took my test at 6. And hit the gym around 645. Oh and I forgot my water bottle.

So I pansied out big time. But at least I went right? That's what I keep telling myself.

1.25 miles; 17:16.

Note to self: Never ever EVER forget water bottle again!

On a side note, I found this interesting article a few days ago and I really like it. If you want to read it, click here! Basically, it was saying to use your bathroom scale wisely because it can actually sabotage your weight loss/fitness goals. It recommended to check your weight NO MORE THAN once a week, and even then, don't rely on the number. Rely on how you feel! If you feel great and you think you look great, then that's GREAT!! Make sense? Anyway, I really liked it because it's helping me not focus so much on the number, but how my body feels. Already I'm feeling so much better! And after just 2 days, my clothes already fit better!!

I have this goal: I want to make it to 80 without having any chronic illnesses and I want my heart to still like me. After that, I'm pretty convinced that you're bound to get something because your body is wearing out. But if I can make it to 80...I will be one happy lady :]

2 miles for time-Trial 1

I said I would post my times. Mostly just for me to keep track of my progress.

2 miles, setting the baseline for myself.

Day 1: 23:45

*Side note-I almost hurled after mile 1. Sticking to half a slice of toast from now on for breakfast before the gym. I wanted to quit so badly after mile 1.5. Mostly I'm just really proud of myself for sticking it out and going the distance! I'm almost bummed tomorrow's Sunday because I want to shave some time off that 2 miler already!

No judgment

Fellow blogger friends, I have this big dilemma. One that has plagued me my entire life. Literally. I've struggled with it for as long as I can remember, and about 2 years ago I felt like I had finally gotten it under control and felt confident. Well...it's bad. I honestly don't know how it happened...well I do, but you know what I mean...and I'm desperate. I just want it to all be gone again like before, but I know that only happens with hard work and commitment. So I'm asking for help! And someone to be accountable to. I can't be accountable to Dan--he won't be hard on me because he loves me too much and doesn't want to hurt me.

Weight. The scale. The extra pounds. I need them gone. I don't even feel comfortable in my own skin these days. I just feel fat and frumpy and I feel bad that Dan has to come home to this. I want to feel attractive! And at least comfortable wearing my clothes! I refuse to buy bigger clothes because that's like giving in and not making a change. I need to make a change.

I weigh almost just as much as I did in high school...and that really makes me sad because I hate looking at high school pictures! I can see all the weight in my face and it just makes me sick! So I'm making a request, a plea of desperation if you will. I heard this great idea from my friend Cami that she and her sister race to 2 miles to see who can do it the fastest. I like competitions, they motivate me. But not the kind that are who can lose the most weight in x amount of time. I like very tangible, very real motivation and goals that are right there in front of me. So I'm going to try this for the next few weeks till Abbie's wedding: race to 2 miles. I'm going to post my time every day (except Sundays) for 2 miles and it's not really for anyone else, but since this is public, I think it will kick my butt a little bit more knowing I have to post it!

The second part of this is diet. They say losing weight is 70% diet, so I really really would love some dieting tips! I'm not into doing "diets" per say (ie. Atkins, South beach), but I'd rather just continue to eat well-balanced meals (still watching what I'm eating) and portion sizes! But honestly, at this point I'm up for anything! Any ideas would be much appreciated!!!

And finally...once a week, I will weigh in...probably Saturday mornings, and regretfully I will post those too. Seriously, I don't need any more judgments so please if you have something nasty to say, just keep it to yourself.

Week 1, Day 1: 170.1

"I hated every minute of training, but I said Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." -Muhammad Ali

The BIG 25 for the Mister

Let's just say that Dan's birthday started out less than ideally. We went up to my grandparents house on Sunday night for dinner and just to see them. It was great and really good to see them, but we both had quite a bit of homework that had to be turned in either Sunday night, or before class Monday morning. Thankfully, we both had brought our computers to work on homework in case we had some down time. There was definitely some inspiration on that decision. Anyway, we are getting ready to leave, and it's pretty cold outside at this point, and the car won't start. Little background: the connection to our battery has been loose for the last few weeks and periodically we have to go set a piece of wood on top of the positive connection to keep the connection to the battery to start the car. So, we didn't think too much of it. Tried to start the car...nothing. Not even a click. Long story short, Dan was outside for almost an hour and a half trying to figure out how to fix our car and nothing was working. We ended up staying at my grandparents house that night. 

We didn't sleep much. Something about the combination of stress and homework and not sleeping in your own bed will do that to you. Dan did not go to class on Monday, and neither did I. Unfortunately, Dan had an in class test that he obviously missed. After working on the car for seriously hours, and going to AutoZone at least once, he fixed it!! This little gem below fixed our car! And in the words of Dan: If we ever need to disconnect the battery it will have to be from the negative side because that's not coming off! He changed the terminal on the positive side of the battery, and after having the horn honk at him one too many times (I think the car thought we were stealing parts because it was the alarm horn going off), the car was fixed and we were able to get back home!

Before leaving, my Gramma took us to lunch at Cafe Rio for Dan's birthday. I'm a big lover of Mexican food, and it's quite the understatement to say I'm disappointed at the Mexican food selection in Utah. Something about being north of Arizona completely changes the taste of the food, and it's not the same. And everyone raves about Cafe Rio here and I honestly don't think it's that great...until yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised and actually really liked the food this time! Dan loves Cafe Rio too, so he was pretty happy!

Fast forward a few hours, and Dan is at work for the last few hours of the day, and since I was not able to make it to class, I hit up wally world for a few last minute birthday necessities. One of Dan's favorite things when it comes to cakes is yellow cake with chocolate frosting. If they're in a cupcake form, it's even better. Seriously, he loves them. It's cute.

I've been trying to figure out what to get for Dan's birthday that wasn't ridiculously expensive, especially with Valentine's day 3 days later. He had mentioned the other day that he really wants a REAL iron (as in regular size) and ironing board. So that's what I got him! I was a little worried that he really wouldn't like that, as much as he really wants a bigger iron. It would be easier to iron all his shirts, and much faster!

He loved it!! I love when I can get him stuff he actually likes. I always worry because shopping for men is so so hard (all the wives/girlfriends out there can appreciate that!) and seriously expensive when they have an expensive hobby (hunting). 

He liked it so much, he set it up right in the living room and ironed 3 or 4 of his shirts right then.

 This was at my Gramma's house earlier that day.

Happy Birthday to the best husband a girl could ever ask for and to this little guy. I can't believe he's already 6!! It breaks my heart we couldn't be together on their birthday, but that's what Skype is for right?! 

February 11th may just be one of my favorite days out of the year. Two of my most favorite people in the world get to share that day together and I can't think of a better way to share your birthday than with family (especially when they're as cute as Kason is!).

Happy Birthday Dan! And here's to many many more to come. This will be the best year yet :]

Welcome to Limbo! Please stay awhile

I pride myself on the fact that Dan and I are really synced, especially when it comes to the big decisions. Literally, everything. We can talk about the options and lay it all out, then decide what is going to be best for us, usually after some combination of fasting, prayer, or temple worship. So you can imagine my dismay when we are presented with another option that we originally were not even considering...and that new option starts to look a lot more tantalizing and enticing. It's really frustrating and distracting to say the least.

The most frustrating is that I don't even know what to do. Every time I look and think maybe this one is the best decision for us, it's like the other side raises a huge sign and says But wait!! I can give you THIS instead of that! Literally it's been like this for the last week almost. It's extremely distracting and it really is just clouding every single thought that comes into my head. The only relief I've really found (ironically enough) was in the one place where I constantly have to be thinking on my feet--clinical.

Something about the OR yesterday was just enough relief for me...possibly the brilliance of surgeons and their craft to be able to put broken things back together, or quite possibly the lack of oxygen to my brain from rebreathing all my own CO2 blow off from wearing a mask all day long. Whatever it was, there was just enough going to keep me interested and occupied, but also relaxed. I think it gave me the break I so desperately needed from my own head to just focus on what is right in front of me: surgery.

Dan and I keep talking about the different options and what each one offers us and where we'd be at the end of it if things work out for us. Secretly, I think we've both chosen and option but we're still waiting and discussing. I hope today we'll finally be able to put it to rest, but then again, maybe the Big Man has something for us to learn from this struggle. Either way, we're going to this lovely place today to find some answers, and more than anything, some peace.

Dan has found a bunch of amazing quotes the last few days and has them around our house. One in particular that I want to leave with you is this one:

Anyone can give up. It is the easiest thing in the world to do! But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's TRUE STRENGTH.    -Unknown.