Gus came back for another visit!

Yes, Sunday evening, just as we were headed over to Sean and Jaynee's, Gus decided he missed me so much that he wanted to visit again.

He's right next to the baseboard. He kind of blends in with the carpet. Dan had a hard time seeing him. Unfortunately, on this nice little visit, Gus was not so lucky to leave entirely in tact. We were trying to brush him out the door and the carpet is a little tough to gently nudge a little gecko along. So this resulted.

Yes, that is poor little Gus....separated from his tail. He died. We had a small funeral service....as we walked to Jaynee and Sean's.

So I guess it's a little warning to all the other little Gus' out there...Don't mess with Dan. He'll rip your tail off. Okay that sounds bad. He really didn't mean to kill Gus, but I guess gecko's aren't like lizards. They need their little tails to live.

RIP Gus. In the future, we'll try to be nicer to all your other friends.

I'm just not quite convinced this sunscreen is waterproof

Really. I thought the whole point of putting on sunscreen was so that you didn't get burned. Apparently not. Because in the whole 2 hours I was at the pool, I came home pretty toasted! Even my forearms and my hands are burned. My HANDS!! They don't ever burn!

This sunscreen is seriously a let down. Thank goodness my shoulders aren't burned though. The sunscreen did work there. I'm just not quite convince that this sunscreen is water proof though because I had it on my back and stuff and I had laid out for a little while before I got into the pool. I guess it came off.

See: it even says waterproof on the label! Deceiving....

So I guess in the future, I'll apply it every....30 minutes? Hopefully then I won't get too toasted anymore.

Geez...you're like a hungry bird when a kid has a piece of bread

Fo real. Not really. I just saw that in a previous conversation and I was laughing my pants off at myself. Abbs knows better than anyone that I find myself pretty funny at times.

Anyway, what I really wanted to blog about today was myself (shocker). So today for some random reason I woke up and I could just tell it was gonna be one of those days that I wanted to crawl back into bed, climb under the covers, and hide from the rest of the world. Yeah...great start to the day. I made Dan's lunch and ate some breakfast, got dressed to go to the gym and then made my bed. You see, if I make my bed and it looks all nice, I rarely ever climb back into it, because let's face it...I'm a little lazy and I don't like making my bed more than once in a day.

I opened up all the blinds to let some light into our apartment, but I still couldn't shake this yucky feeling. To add insult to injury, Dan came home from correlation in not the best of moods. He wasn't mad or anything, but just in a downer kind of mood, and well I'm one of those people that feeds off of other people's moods, especially Dan's. Now this is gonna sound really bad, but it almost just made me more sad, probably because I knew I was going to be home by myself today and yesterday just plain sucked.

We read scriptures and I couldn't help myself. The tears just started to leak out of my eyeballs. I really feel pretty ridiculous lately because I feel like all I do is cry...about everything! I'm so not used to this! I get a good cry once a month...not once a week! I'm really considering getting my tear ducts removed so my poor husband doesn't have to deal with a weepy wife. It just sucks because I want to tell him how much I miss him during the day and stuff, but I can't because that just distracts him and then he doesn't do well. Stress!

So after he left, I packed up my stuff and went to the gym and I was determined to get a good work out in. I haven't done an honest hard work out probably all summer. So I did. I even dominated the treadmill. Hollah!! Anyway, then I laid out by the pool for an hour or so (hard life I know) and came home. But the best part was that even though I'm still by myself, I get to see him in just a few hours. And then I get to hang out with him for the rest of the evening. I was talking to my mom and venting a little bit about how I can't wait till he's got a 9 to 5 job when we move to Utah, and she said but just wait till October and he'll be home all the time and you'll be trying to get rid of him! Haha I love my mom! She can make every situation a little lighter.

At the end of the day, he gets to come home. And that's something I'm so grateful for. He could be fighting fires and be gone for weeks at a time. THAT would suck. I feel so bad for some of those wives. That's rough. So this post is super random, but that's my life. Moving to Utah in 22 days....very mixed emotions about that one. Oh well, I guess the only way to look at it is as a new adventure. A new chapter. Bring it on.

Dear EAC

As I sit here, debating my future and the inevitability that I am going to BYU in August, I've been reflecting as of late on my days in good ole Thatcher. This post has been in the works for quite some time, but I've got a few minutes, and I figured it's better late than never to write this one.

Thatcher. The kind of one horse town you read about in western novels. Now a days, there are 3 lights across the whole town. Then there's Safford on one side and Pima on the other. The biggest concentration of people is probably at the college. When I decided to go to EA, it was honestly because I didn't have any other options. I didn't want to go to ASU, U of A, NAU or BYU. So I'd kind of limited myself down to community college. My mom and I got up at 6 am to drive down for a preview day of the campus. It was empty. Everyone was apparently at a chili picking service project. But it was pretty, and small, a little more my style. They had just broken ground for the temple. We'd looked up off campus housing because I was going to avoid the freshman 15 at all costs, and that included not eating cafeteria food. My mom and I checked out Goodman apartments, got me signed up on the list, and we started on the long drive back to Phoenix. I didn't really feel one way or the other. It was fine, and they had a nursing program that I could actually get into. That was December of 2008.

Fast forward, August 2009.

Dear EAC,

You've watched me grow up and experience so many new things in this one horse town. I've learned so much about the kind of person that I am and want to be. I've made so many new friends, and I've also made friendships that will last a lifetime. I didn't understand when my mom said that it's the friends in college that you'll be friends with for the rest of your life. Looking back, she's so right. It's that group of friends that we've all seen each other through our first and second years of college. We've seen each other through that initial moving out and being on our own, struggling for precious pennies to go grocery shopping, and having so much fun without having to spend a single cent. I will miss those precious precious memories.

You've given me experiences that I could have never had anywhere else. You allowed me to be close to the Spirit and to the Lord. I've never felt such peace just looking out over the beauty that surrounds me in a cotton field.

You watched me meet and crush hard on Dan only to have it thrown in my face. You watched me become bitter and angry towards him, only to have me find forgiveness and friendship the next year. You watched me fall for him, and fall hard. You watched me hold back, and hold onto things from the past to where I almost lost him. You watched us fall in love with each other with all of our hearts. You saw me through the stress of planning a wedding, only to get violently sick from the Presidents BBQ three days before I went through the temple. You were there as I stepped through those temple doors and received my endowments and made covenants that are so precious and sacred to me.

You were there as I packed my car and drove away from Goodman apartments, the activities center, the Super Stop, and the temple for one last time. You were there as I realized that this temple that has meant so much to me is something that I will not see for a long long time. You were there as that broke my heart driving away.

You were there when I began to more fully trust in the Lord as I stressed over my HESI, only to pass with flying colors. You were there when my faith was shaken as I tried to decide what to do with my future after denying acceptance into the nursing program.

You were there as I met the best friends anyone in this entire world could ask for. They have each and every one of them brought something so special to my life. I can honestly say that if anything were to happen, they would all have my back. You know how they say a good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting right there with you? Well I'm pretty sure the jail cell would be super full if something went down because we'd all be in there...except for maybe Jacie :] She's just smart enough to know that we're gonna need someone to get us all out!

Anyway, EAC its been a good run. You've brought me the best friends in the entire world, shown me that I am strong and I can take on anything life can throw at me as long as I rely on the Lord, and you were there when I met and fell in love with my very best friend. It's been a great run. I don't know how BYU is gonna be able to top that, but we'll see what that has in store for me!

Sincerely, me

Things that make you say wow....

So we're sitting down, eating dinner (quesadilla's if you're curious) and my husband informs me that while he was on his mission in Oregon, in the winter they would warm up the little corn tortillas in the microwave and put them on their butt cheeks between their underwear and their pants.

Wow....I don't think I've ever stared open-mouthed for so long....

I love him.

The Finer Things in Life

Here's some pictures of a couple of things that we've done/have happened since being here in Texas. I've vowed to take more pictures and I'm doing alright so far...could be better...but also could be a lot worse. Hopefully we'll have a good amount from this coming weekend. STOKED.

Exhibit A: Dan's black eye. Get this: It's from a belly flop. For correlation that morning, they did a bunch of water activity/swimming type contests. At least he won the belly flop contest right? This was taken maybe 30 minutes after he got back from correlation meeting.

Exhibit B: Green Mesquite BBQ in downtown Austin. So freaking delicious. We shared the bbq for four with Jaynee and Sean and it was fabulous! So much food, but so good! We definitely didn't leave hungry.

Exhibit C: DISHES!!! I got the package from my mom probably a month ago and a few days later, went to BBB and got my dishes!! I can't tell you how happy I was. Then the place mats were only $0.99 each! Score!!

Exhibit D: We made homemade pizza for dinner last Saturday night. Kudos to Sister Bale for the recipe for the dough (thank you!). Here's the pizza cookin away!

The finished product!!

We each had 2 pieces and we were full. I think it's pretty safe to say neither of us can pack it down like we used to...well Dan still can. Not me. But hey, I'm not complaining.

Exhibit E: My sexy husband in a cute apron I got for my bridal shower from Jacie Ames!

Exhibit F: These are the kinds of eggs we buy. Mostly because I'm too cheap to by the 18 pack from Walmart when I can save a dollar and get them from Costco.

Exhibit G: So, one of the tendons in my leg has been super sore lately. It's on the inside of my leg right behind my knee. Well I'm not an expert physical therapist or anything, but I know that that's not supposed to hurt. I'd been stretching before and after working out and even taking it a little easier on the bikes and elliptical. Both Dan and my mom told me to ice and heat it. So I did. When I stuck the towel in the microwave to warm it up, this is what happened.

I still don't know why it did that. But it came out of the microwave smoking and everything. Scary business. It must have had something on it, but seriously, that was the last thing I expected. Note to self: just throw it in the dryer next time.

And last but not least, this video is making me laugh hysterically right now. It's not like it's the first time I've seen it either. It's just really funny at the moment.

peace and blessings. Peace and Blessings.

Why am I incredible?

Almost a week ago, the lesson we had in Relief Society was titled "LDS Women Are Incredible!" The talk was given in April 2011 general conference by Quentin L. Cook. You can read the talk for yourself here.

I posted a little about it earlier this week and I was rereading through the last few posts I've written (sometimes it's interesting to read back and remember exactly what you were feeling or that experience that you're writing about) and as of late, they've been very "complainy." I know that's not a word, but just roll with it.

I was thinking about the question that the teacher asked each of us at the beginning of the lesson: Why are YOU incredible? She had us write it down on a piece of paper. Well I couldn't think of anything in the moment. That's always an awkward feeling because I don't want to brag or anything, and I'm totally not compliment fishing or anything, I just couldn't really think of anything about myself that could be classified as "incredible." I mean I can do stuff, and I have talents, and I know I'm a daughter of God, so don't think I'm depreciating my self-worth or anything like that, but in the moment, I just couldn't think of anything that would be incredible to someone about me. And that was exactly the problem I was having.

So this card has been sitting in my bedside table drawer with my scriptures and it's been on my mind all week. Reading through my posts yesterday, I came upon the day I had a complete breakdown that it's not looking like I'll be with Dan for the first month of school. I remembered that day and all the emotions and just the complete lack of self control I felt because I couldn't keep myself together. I say "I remember" like it was ages ago, but really it was just earlier this week. Anyway, I usually have pretty good emotional self control. I can keep myself together pretty well, but for some reason that day, I couldn't do it. And it honestly felt like I was failing myself because all the heartbreak and the emotion was spilling over and I couldn't keep it in and deal with it on my own.

I still remember the surprise I felt when I got Kristi's text. And that's when it hit me what I could write on that card for why I am incredible.

I am incredible because I am strong. I can do this. I can do anything, whatever I set my mind to. I can do it. I guess sometimes, you just can't pull yourself out of the rut long enough to see that so it takes someone else recognizing that in you to help you see it. That's what Kristi did for me. She is such a strong person. I don't know her that well, but we've become good friends and some of the trials she's been asked to face are ones that I know I would never make it through. She's so strong and hearing that come from her telling me that I'm strong is a HUGE compliment.

I was going to blog yesterday, but I wasn't in the chipperest of moods, so I decided against it. I've been such a downer lately! Ugh I hate it, because I'd like to think I'm usually a pretty happy and upbeat person, but yesterday I just wasn't in it. I've been thinking and keeping a list (that sounds so pathetic) of all the things I want to blog about, whether it's something I've seen on someone else's blog that's really thought provoking or what have you. But last week, I was with some of the other wives and we were supposed to be watching a movie and ended up talking from 3 till 9 when our husbands got home! I really didn't think we'd all have that much to say, haha but we're girls so of course we do!

Anyway, one of the wives made the comment that someone had told her she needed to toughen up and stop complaining about her trials because there are other people that are going through worse things than that. Her reply was no...that she's allowed to complain about her trials because they're hers, not anyone elses. Just for her.

Not that I think everyone needs to be complaining about every little thing that goes wrong in their lives, but sometimes I think we too often don't express our feelings and emotion and just bottle them up because we don't want to be told that we shouldn't be complaining because there's someone else in the world that has it worse off than we do. I think repressing that emotion and not letting it out sometimes causes us to break, to fall apart, and to just lose it one day. I was reading a post from SDL and he was talking about how he's been told his whole life to grow a thicker skin and he's finally refusing to, because feeling is human. On that same note, I think that complaining and the whole emotion that comes with facing that trial is human. We shouldn't feel the need to repress that all the time. I know I'm probably the worst at this, but I'm going to start trying to express myself a little better. Maybe then these breakdowns will be MUCH MUCH fewer and farther between.

I am incredible because I am strong and because I can feel.