Lucky

It's a great feeling knowing at the end of the day that your husband is making you a better person.  And that your marriage is making you better.

Leave it to Sugarland

"Keep going. Don't stop. Human beings are lazy by nature. So if you keep going and everyone else quits 'cause they are lazy, then you win by default." -Jennifer Nettles

Word. Just keep going. Definitely had one of those days, more like the last couple of days, and I most definitely needed a reminder to just keep going. I always knew there was a reason I loved Sugarland so much.

On a brighter note: Arizona bound in 21 hours :]

The grass is always greener

Relief Society lesson on Sunday was interesting, for lack of a better word. It was the first Sunday, so the president taught the lesson. She started off with a comment that completely broke my heart. She said that there are quite a few mothers in our stake who have gone to the stake president because for one reason or another they don't like being a mother. Not even kidding. I was shocked. Maybe I'm just one of those really crazy people that has always wanted to be a mom, with six kids running around the backyard with the dog. I'd have to say I've thought about it on more than one occasion.

So I guess you can understand my shock. I have always felt like the greatest thing I will ever do in my life is raise children and have a family. It sounds weird coming from the girl who is finishing her education to have a career. But I've told Dan many times that even if I'm the greatest nurse in the entire world and make all these great accomplishments, it won't mean anything if I've failed to take care of and raise my children. That is what's really important in life. But for me, like for most, it has a time and place, and everyone reaches that point in life at a different time.

Back to the Relief Society lesson: it ended up being a really great discussion and I felt extremely enlightened at the end of it. Several points were brought up, as well as advice. I live in one of those wards where it's a lot of newly weds and nearly deads. Not that extreme, and there are quite a few families that are in between with kids. But, there are quite a few people who have kids now grown up having kids of their own. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's lots of parenting advice and ideas going around.

1. Pace yourself: Stop trying to do everything at once, and getting everything done now. Life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. Pace yourself. Take life in stride, and enjoy it!

2. Be your own kind of mom: As far as I've seen, there's no rule book for how to be the perfect mom. No set list of things that have to be done each and every day. No rule that says you need to have an immaculate house, and perfect children with the perfect outfits. A lady in my ward made the comment that she felt extremely unfulfilled and inadequate. Then she realized that she really loved doing crafts with her kids. So that's what she does! And she loves it! She loves being a mom, and helping her kids make arts and crafts. You need to find what fits for you and do it. You don't have to be exactly like the mom down the street. Be yourself, and your own kind of mom.

3. Accept yourself for now: Life is a journey. I, for one, am guilty of constantly looking at the finish line and wanting to be there. Especially in nursing school. I just want to be done so I actually have time! Time for myself, time for my husband, time to clean my house! Time to start a family, and time to spend each moment possible with those precious babies that will one day fill these walls. But life keeps going. It is not the same as it was yesterday, and it will be different tomorrow. The trick, or so they say, is to enjoy it now, for exactly what it is. For me, that means enjoying nursing school, and all the hell it brings with it. Later, that will mean accepting the fact that there's dirty laundry piling up, and a messy house, but my babies are happy. It's learning to be okay with how life is right now. Just be happy.

4. Do your best: Every day. How could you be upset with yourself when you know that you've given it your very best? Being a mom one day will be so so hard, and so so rewarding. Each and every day, if I just try my very best, I know that that will be enough.

5. Your husband and children just want you to be happy: The end. Seriously, self explanatory.

6. Read, write, take time for yourself: This one is so important, in life, in general. I'm of a pretty strong opinion that you can only give so much of yourself before you break. Many times, I've had to just take a time out. Basically tell homework to screw itself, and watch some Grey's Anatomy or the Office. I also like reading...a lot. Give me a week after school gets out and I will have a book in my hand. I love reading. And blogging. Anyway, take some time for yourself each day. Even if it's just 15 minutes. I need that. I feel like it helps me recharge and get back into my activities with a little more gusto.

At the end of the day, the grass is always going to be greener somewhere else. But, I'd say my grass is pretty dang green...and I'll take it.

One more thing that I've always loved is this saying:

Bloom where you're planted.

Power in the Priesthood

I have always had a pretty strong faith and belief in the power of the priesthood. I've utilized it many a time throughout my life, and Heavenly Father has always come through for me (not that I ever doubted He would). I had a great roommate and friend in college who asked me once if she would like me to write down what was said in the blessing. The thought had never occurred to me, and I was honestly a little taken back. How sweet that advice was and how much I continue to cherish it today. She wrote down the words from the blessing I received that night, and I read it often.

There seems to be recurring themes for me whenever I receive a priesthood blessing. If you would oblige me for a moment, I would like list just a few.

1. My Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me

2. They are proud of me

3. Seek guidance from the scriptures

These three have always come up (along with a few others) in each blessing I have received since college (basically the ones I have asked for and have had very spiritual experiences during). The one that always hits me so close to home though is that my Heavenly Father loves me, and so does Jesus Christ. In that moment, when those words are spoken, I have to catch my breath. My chest starts pounding, and it is undeniably the Spirit speaking to my soul that this is true. That He does love me. Me! For all my faults and short comings, I'm still striving to do what is right, and He loves me.

Wednesday of last week, I woke up with a sore throat. I did not think too much of it, but I started taking Mucinex like it's nobody's business. (See this post and you'll understand.) My best friend is getting married this week, and I did not want to be sick. Anyway, Wednesday came and went. Thursday rolls around, still have a sore throat, and little bit of head congestion. Keep taking Mucinex. After I got out of class, I had a bunch of errands to run, mostly groceries so I wouldn't have to buy any till after we got back from Arizona.

I came home, took a shower, got ready (well...I did my hair) and headed off to Costco. As I was driving, and later shopping through Costco, I could feel my body weakening, and this distinct ache in the back of my chest. It only got worse, and I pretty seriously considered not going to WalMart. Then I remembered...we have no food in the fridge. Dan needs something to eat for dinner. Suck it up and go. So I did. I called Dan though (he was on his way to an Elder's quorum meeting) and asked if he  could find another person to help give me a blessing. I had clinical the next day and really could not (nor did I want to) miss it. He said he would. I soldiered on.

Almost. Making it out of WalMart was a struggle. By this point (and I'm not even exaggerating), I had absolutely no confidence in my muscle strength to keep me moving. I was literally trying to get out of WalMart as fast as I could so I could get home. My back was aching furiously and it was all I could do to wait to cry till I got home.

Being the great nursing student I am, I figured I either had a cold or the flu...though a sinking feeling told me it was the flu. I was not having it. WebMD was anything but vague, so I made some soup and crawled into bed with the Office, praying that Dan would get home soon.

He did and I was able to receive a blessing. I had a thought in my mind as they laid their hands on my head: Heavenly Father, I'm turning this over to you. I can't do it anymore. Pretty much those exact words. I was promised that my faith would make me whole. I sincerely prayed that night to help my body heal so that I could at least function at clinical the next day. I went to be around 830 that night. I woke up at 1230 still not feeling great, but went back to sleep. 530 rolled around and I jumped right out of bed. Felt like I had never been better. My body did not hurt at all! No small miracle in my opinion. I really wanted to die the night before.

It not only gave me an incredible amount of peace, but also faith and knowledge that my Heavenly Father is aware of me. Completely. He knows my needs, and the desires of my heart. He also allows me to grow in faith. I'm so so grateful that I had the prompting, thought, inspiration, whatever you want to call it, to ask for a blessing. Somewhere in my mind I knew that that was the only way I was going to make it to clinical the next day.

He delivered...like He always does. This experience was extremely evident, but it only helped me to see that He always answers, and always lives up to His promises. Perhaps not always in ways that we can see, but He does. And the answers are always in ways that we need.