Proud wife moment

I have to brag about my sweet husband for a moment. 

And I won't apologize for it because I'm his wife and it's my job to brag about him and be proud of him.

Today, Dan had the day off. 

We desperately needed grocery. 

Bare cupboards.  Practically empty fridge and freezer. 

You know the type.

So my sweet husband wanted to go grocery shopping with me.

We hit up Costco and then Walmart. 

As we're standing in line to check out, there's an older lady in front of us. She's a little slow at loading her groceries onto the check out stand. Totally fine. I'm not in a rush or anything.

My sweet husband offered to help her out. 

I was so proud at that moment to remember that this is the man I married. 

He's the one I get to spend the rest of my life and eternity with.

And then I was a little embarrassed that I've never offered to help anyone like that.

She was so sweet and thanked him profusely as he was helping and then again as she left.

My heart swelled in my chest.

There's also a lady standing behind us with two young boys. She's struggling with the both of them. And one is throwing a small tantrum.

Probably nap time.

Seriously I commend her for even venturing out with two kids. 

I don't know if I could do that.

Dan turns to her and asks if he could help her load her groceries on the check out stand.

Again, I felt so proud and happy and then ashamed that I had never done the same for anyone.

She thanked him. 

We left. 

I made the comment that I bet he'd just made their day with a small act of service.

I'm so blessed to have him as my partner and companion.

I'm so grateful that my children will have him as their father.

I'm so grateful he's the type of person who is always thinking of others. 

I hope our children will pick up that attribute from him. 

I hope one day to be half as awesome as he is. 

Thankfully, I get to learn from him each day.

And tomorrow, I get to try again.

I am the luckiest.

Blessings

Sometimes I find myself feeling very lost and confused amidst the craziness of this life and all the shenanigans that go on in the day to day scenes. I always get reminded in those low moments of how much I truly am blessed, and how much my Heavenly Father knows me very personally. I'm reminded that He knows exactly what is going on in my life and He is aware of how I am feeling.

Today was one of those moments where I was reminded of those very blessings that in the everyday moments often get looked over. 

Take some time tonight to think of a few blessings you may have overlooked today. 

Remember the little things. And the big ones. 

Happy Memorial Day!!

I have another post coming today...most likely. I've got quite the chore list to do today before Dan gets home from work.

I just wanted to take a minute and express my gratitude for this great land we live in and for the many great and honorable service men and women who have sacrificed their time and even their very lives to protect this beautiful land I call home. Memorial day has always been important to me, but it's also been the day that we were doing yard work and then swimming and BBQ-ing later in the day. My dad always put the flag up outside our home.

In recent years, (geez that makes me sound old!) it has come to mean so much more to me. Rewind a few months ago to April 1st. College of Nursing Professionalism Conference at BYU. We said the Pledge of Allegiance. I could never begin to count how many times I've said the Pledge of Allegiance in my life, but it's a lot. This particular day, the words really struck me, and I remember feeling so much pride and joy and feeling a little bit more of what the cost of freedom really is and how much freedom and living in these great United States of America has so richly blessed my life.

My grandpa served in WWII and was a POW after his plane was shot down (I want to say over Germany, but I may be wrong). I have few regrets in life, but one was not ever taking the time to sit down and talk to him about his experiences in the military. Granted I was only 12 or 13 at the time before his Alzheimer's disease had set in, but still.

I also have a brother in law serving in the military. I've been thinking about their little family more and more, and I'm sure I will in the coming weeks. I'm so so grateful for all 3 of them, but especially Brad, for making the sacrifices each and every day so that I can sleep safely and in peace. I'm so grateful for my sister in law and the huge strength and role model that she is in my life. I've never met a stronger woman and I'm so grateful she is my sister.

It's my hope that today, especially, we remember to take a moment and give thanks for the many people who have given the ultimate sacrifice for the cause of freedom and all those who have served our country so diligently past, present, and future.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.

Happy Memorial Day! and may God continue to bless America!!

My List of 22

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My family was able to come up and we had Thanksgiving with my great grandma, and my grandparents. We also took family pictures (woot woot!). Needless to say, it was a great weekend, jam packed, but so relaxing and definitely the break I needed to power through the rest of the semester.

Anyway, I've seen everyone's posts on facebook everyday about some things they are grateful for. I had this thought that for Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, all that good stuff that I would take the time to reflect on the things I am truly grateful for. 

THANKSGIVING + GRATITUDE = the BEST holiday in the ENTIRE world

1. My husband: I'll try to keep this one simple, because I could dedicate an entire blog to the little things that he does each and every day to make me fall more and more in love with him. He's my rock, and my best friend, and I don't know what I would ever do without him, and what I ever did do without him. 

2. My family: Enough said. Without them, I would not be here today. I owe everything I am to them and everything they have ever given me. I will spend the rest of my life trying to show them how much I really do appreciate them and everything they have done for me.

3. My in-laws: I could not have asked for better in laws. Seriously, they are amazing. I have the two best sister in laws a girl could ask for, and I wish the three of us could take a little vacation together. We'd have a ball. I have a great brother in law, and the two cutest nephews IN THE ENTIRE world. 

4. My nephews: Well, they really are just the cutest thing in the entire world. Seriously, Kason is this little spit fire that I miss so so much. You never realize how much you love them, until they move some 3000 miles away. Thank goodness for Skype. And Camden, oh man he's just the cutest chubby baby, and has such a personality. Ahh I love them!

5. My education: I am so blessed to be able to pursue a career that I so desperately desire, and a career that would be able to provide for my family should the need arise. 

6. The school I attend: where I can learn the Healer's art and incorporate the gospel freely into my nursing practice. I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to take religion classes from teachers who have dedicated their lives to the study of them. I have learned so much about the scriptures and I come home with all this information and I just can't wait to share it with Dan as soon as I come home!

7. Dan's job: He loves his job, and it more than provides for us. It was the greatest blessing that he even got it in the first place, but the fact that he loves the people he works with and really enjoys being there every day is just an answer to so so many prayers.

8. Financial stability: Seriously, enough said. 

9. The holiday season: I love love love this time of year because I get to remember all the things I'm grateful for and especially remember my Savior. I love temple lights. I love Thanksgiving. I love Christmas music. I love Christmas trees. I love the idea of a "white Christmas." I love ornaments. I love tree lights. I love it all. 

10. The ward we live in: We had a pretty great ward when we lived in Provo, and I was afraid that anything else would pale in comparison. Fortunately, I was wrong. We have a fabulous ward, and a phenomenal bishop (who conveniently lives next door) and everything is just great.

11. The home we live in: We found it on KSL. It was perfect. We have awesome landlords and a cozy little place that we love. Seriously, I love it.

12. My health: I really don’t know what else to say. I am so grateful that I have great health and that I have been able to do everything I have ever wanted, and not be held back by my health.

13. My faith: I don’t know where I would be without it. Really. It is what gets me through the day, especially when the days are really really hard and I feel like I’m losing everything.

14. Our two functioning cars: This one is pretty self explanatory too. I am so grateful that we have cars, especially that work well enough to take us home, and on vacations. It was such a blessing to find the second one. HUGE blessing, and I’m so grateful that we were able to find it, and have the means to purchase it.

15. My friends in the nursing program: I really don’t know what I would without these lovely ladies. Seriously, I’m pretty sure that we keep each other sane, because one of us  has always got it together, and helps the rest of us that are freaking out to get control of it.

16. My two best friends: I am so grateful that I can call each of them at a moment’s notice and they are there. They listen, we gossip, we laugh, and I’m so incredibly grateful for the friendship and sisterhood we share together. I can’t wait for the day when we live in the same state again. It’ll be parties every other weekend!

17. My temple marriage: This means more than I will ever be able to express. I am so grateful that we were both worthy for us to be there. I’m so grateful for the blessing it has been in my life, and for all the blessings that we have been promised for being in the right place at the right time.

18. The scriptures: They provide so much comfort at the most unexpected times, and in the most unexpected places. I take them so much for granted, and I’m working on developing a better relationship with the scriptures.

19. The food on my table: I’m so grateful for the means to take care of our family, and for the food that sits on my table day in and day out. I can remember back when we were very first married (because it was SOOO long ago) and there was a time when it was hard to get food on that table. I look back on that, and I am so grateful for the blessings we have been provided with to make this simple gift possible.

20. Prayer: Provides so much peace, in this crazy crazy world. It allows me to communicate with my Heavenly Father, and express myself to the person who completely, and fully understands.

21. The Prophet: He gives so much direction and provides guidance in this crazy messed up world we live in, and he still offers so much wisdom. I’m so grateful that he is still so positive and happy. It helps me to remember to be happy.

22. My Savior: He is my rock, and my salvation. And I will never complete anything in this life worthwhile without His help, love, and guidance.

There's the grateful list that I've been wanting to write for quite some time now. 

fun.

No matter what kind of mood I'm in, lately this song has always put me in a good mood. The kind of mood that let's me just dance around my kitchen floor and sing at the top of my lungs. It's the best when it comes on the radio--Dan and I start jamming out in the car. It's quite a sight.

some nights.fun.

(**just a heads up at 3:51-mute it. just do it.)

After all, who wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun? (Shout out to AZ!!)

It's making this exhausted study sesh for the stats test much easier. At least in my head. Which seems like quite the chaotic and confusing place to be these days. 

I'm trying to find a good thought to put at the end of this, and nothing's coming. 

But the one thing that keeps coming back is gratitude. I'm grateful for this school I'm privileged to attend. I'm grateful for the knowledge and education I'm receiving here. I'm grateful for a school that teaches me to encompass Christ into my daily nursing practices. I'm grateful for the nurse I am becoming and the instructors who are teaching me to become better. I'm grateful for my Savior, and his hand in my life. It's everywhere, and lately I've noticed it that much more. I'm grateful for a Savior who truly understands me. And last, though certainly not least, I'm grateful for a husband who is so selfless and encouraging. He's my number one fan, and never lets me forget it. He's so in tune with the Spirit and always knows what to do...and when he doesn't, we figure it out together. I love him unconditionally, and it's growing more and more each day--more than I ever thought possible and more than I'll ever be able to express. 

Take away message: fun. & gratitude will turn your frown upside down  :]

One day

My life is plagued by these two words.

One day I'll be done with school.
One day I'll have a "normal" quiet life.
One day I'll be a mom and have a cute little family.
One day I'll move back to Arizona.
One day [hopefully] I won't be so stressed about money.
One day I'll live close [in the same state would be nice!] to my two best friends.
One day...one day...

I kind of hate those two words because it makes me feel like I'm dissatisfied at some point with my life and I'm not.

I much more enjoy these type of "one days"

One day I'll have lots of babies that run around our home and fill it with lots of happy sounds.
One day I'll live close to my two best friends and we can walk next door to chat.
One day all of our kiddos will be friends too.
One day I'll be watching my babies fall in love and get married and have their own babies.
One day I'll be a cute little old lady sitting on a porch swing with Dan by my side.
One day I will look back on my life and smile when I think back on the great life I've had.

All these one days make me want to try that much harder to make today count. To make these moments that I'm living the ones that I want to remember.

"One day" reminds me to cherish the memories I'm making today. The moments that I spend with Dan. So that "one day" I can look back and remember these times...today.

Friday the 13th.

I'm not a superstitious person. Never have been. It's something I pride myself on a little bit.
In fact, I'm so not superstitious that I chose to get married on May 13th...which happened to be a Friday. My dad even asked me when I was planning the wedding if I didn't want to move it up a day and get married on the 12th. I said nope!! (of course!)

Looking back...I just wanted to share a couple of my favorite pictures from that day.

Walking out of the temple. I distinctly remember after the sealing and everyone had walked out of the room, it was just Dan and I, we were smiling uncontrollably, and I could finally breathe. Like all of this pressure and stress to make sure we were in the right place at the right time was lifted. We had made it. And we're together for time and ALL eternity. The best feeling in the entire world.

Some of the friends and family that were able to be there and share our day.

I miss these two girls more than words can say. I love love love our skype times more than anything, and it's so good to catch up and realize how great my best friends are. We're crazy, we're silly, and we definitely still have not changed. I can't wait till we're all in the same state again!!!

Over the last year and a half, I've come to realize how truly great and wonderful my sisters are. Really. I lucked out with my in laws, and I couldn't ask for better sisters. I love talking to them! I love feeling comfortable around them too, like I really belong to this family. I couldn't ask for better sisters than Jami and Rhianna.

I love love love these girls. And I'd do anything for them. Being married, and moving away has been so good for our relationships because I really want to talk to them and hear about their lives, where before I really took it for granted how much I saw them and got to spend time with them. I really think you grow closer as a family when you have to branch out and grow.

This picture always makes me laugh because Dan and I were both so so tired. Running on no sleep and no food for the last 2 days. So graciously, Wendy Terry offered to run down to the Circle K and get us some drinks. Naturally, I chose the dew...of course. And Dan did too. It was amazing, and I'm so glad that BrieAnna got a picture with the drinks in it!

Love my girlfriends! Even though we've all gone separate ways, I love seeing little news feeds pop up on FB about how their doing. And one of these lovely ladies is getting married tomorrow!! Congrats Jacq!

Dan and I had the best friends at EA! Seriously, the BEST group of friends. And 3 of the people in this picture are getting married this year...so far. I'm sure there will be more. I love looking at pictures of us and remembering all the good times we had in Thatcher, all the trouble we got into, and the many many nights of exciting games/pranks/bonfires/river expeditions.

Cutting the cake. Love this picture. One of my all time faves.

Dancing with my daddy.
"I loved her first" by Heartland

So much in love...you're alone in this place, like there's nobody else in the world.

"Give In to Me" Garrett Hedlund and Leighton Meester

Happy Friday the 13th. I think it's my favorite day ever.
Love my husband. And I'm so so grateful to have him forever :]

The homeless and motorcyclists

Driving home from work wasn't really anything special. Just chug chug chuggin along and hoping that the miles would pass faster so I could see Dan. I'm sitting at the light at Parker road waiting for it to change. Directly in front of me is a guy on a motorcycle, only the light in the back isn't on. Odd.
After a few minutes (Parker is a pretty major street so the lights last forever), I can tell the bike isn't on, he's trying to kick start it or whatever, and it's clearly not working.

That's when I noticed the homeless guy (well...he can't be that homeless because he actually looked pretty clean, and was clean shaven-ish) walked over and helped him push his bike out of the road and onto the sidewalk. Impressed to say the least.

It actually kind of twinged at my heart a little just to see another human being helping someone out. Honestly, I'm not huge on giving out stuff to the people on the corners. Usually it's because I don't have any food and I'm not going to give them money, but today I really was ticked I didn't have any food. Not even a sandwich. I just felt like his good deed deserved some rewarding for himself. I don't know it just really struck me. Then the lady that was with the homeless guy helped the motor cycle guy, let him borrow her phone to call someone (see I don't think they're really homeless) and gave him some of her food.

It always makes me happy to see other people helping each other out. Like there's a reason to still have some faith in humanity.

Totally unrelated side note: Dan and I went on our very first pajama run since being married!! It was so fun. We took the Greer's with us, and it was nice to just do something spontaneous and share our little family tradition with someone else. We went to Burger King and each had an ice cream cone.
I still remember the first one I went on with Dan. We were staying at his parent's house for President's Day weekend, and I had just taken a shower. We were watching some TV and then Dan's parents come rushing in and say "pajama run!!" I was going to run upstairs and get my shoes (you have 30 seconds to get into the car) but Dan wouldn't let me! So he carried me out to the car. We went to McDonalds and all got ice cream cones. It was so fun!! I can't wait to do that with our kids one day. One day.

Today I'm grateful for...

The home teaching message for this month is by President Eyring, and it's called The Choice to Be Grateful. If you haven't read it, please do. You can read it here. I went home teaching with Dan on Sunday and I'm really grateful he asked me to.

It was a really eye opening article, especially around Christmas time. It talks about being grateful for your trials, and that a lot of times we have trials to remember the blessings we've been given. It made me very very grateful for the trials that Dan and I have. And it actually was perfect timing because I had just been thinking the day before about the trials we've been going through lately. I was just crying about it, mostly out of frustration because there's so many things we'd like to have, but that's just not what we need right now. The thought hit me that I need to be grateful. I'm supposed to be learning something from this and it will better prepare me for what's ahead. That thought led me to remember a blessing that Dan had given me before my finals, that I need to have faith in the Lord right now, and build my testimony and the strength of my faith in Him.

Anyway, our home teachers came over last night, and they challenged us to think of one thing every day that we're grateful for. So I took down our whiteboard, rearranged it, and made a place at the bottom so that Dan and I can write down every day something we're grateful for. I think it's easier to remember and recognize your blessings, especially amidst a trial, when you have to consciously think of something to be grateful for so you can write it down.

I think that has made the difference in our Christmas too. It's our first Christmas, and initially I was pretty disappointed that I wouldn't be able to get Dan all the things he wanted. I mean, it's just not practical to go into debt over it. And then on top of that, I have a million and a half things to get for nursing school. So Christmas this year is just school stuff for me, and I've got a few things up my sleeve for Dan. But mostly, it's just going to be the blessing to spend it with family. And I've never been more excited about it. Honestly, Christmas is the best when you're with family, and especially with little kids. They get so excited about it, and it just makes you happy.

On the subject of gratitude, I'm so extremely grateful for my Heavenly Father. He always provides a way for us to make it through each and every month. He loves us, and He wants to bless us. I absolutely love that, and I love being reminded how aware He is of us.

Grat-i-tude: n. the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.

Spread gratitude this Christmas.

Don't you fake it

Sometimes I'm really ungrateful. Like a lot actually. Most of the time it's towards my husband. Unfortunately, I don't take the time often enough to tell him how much he means to me, and how truly grateful I am for him each and every day.

Let's just start at the top...I didn't have to work at all this last semester. Do you have any idea how wonderful that is? He got not one, but two jobs and has more than taken care and provided for us. I am so grateful that I've just had to focus on school this semester and getting good grades. It's still been rather pathetic (my attempt at school this semester) but it's been nice to not have to worry about that.

He honors his priesthood like I've never seen. I never have to question his worthiness when I ask for a blessing because I know the kind of man he is, the kind that always makes sure within himself that he is worthy. It reminds me of my dad, and one of the greatest things I love about him.

Dan is always making me laugh about something, and he likes to do so by pestering me! But it always changes my mood, and I end up laughing hysterically. He brings out the best in me, at least I think so.

I love him with everything that I have, and more. It's amazing how much love grows, especially when you sacrifice and go through trials together. I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again. I thought I loved him when I married him, but honestly compared to how much I love him now, it's pretty pathetic looking back.

He's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and because of him I'm better, and I want to be better.

Life is an awful beautiful ride, and I intend to spend each and every minute right along side him.

Thanksgiving

It is by far my favorite holiday of the ENTIRE year! Although, it might come in a close second after our anniversary...but that's not till May. So for now, Thanksgiving is up up up there on my list of favorites. Can I let you in on a secret though? I HATE HATE HATE (don't judge) that the radio stations are already playing Christmas music!!! It's like a crime against humanity. So I found a T Swift CD and was jamming out going to school--yes I was that girl that was belting out TSwift at the top of her lungs on the way to and from school. If you passed me, you're welcome for the entertainment.

Anyway, I am so excited beyond excited for Thanksgiving this year for several reasons.
1. It's mine and Dan's first Thanksgiving together--always exciting to have "firsts"
2. My family is going to be here! Woot woot!! I am seriously so stoked that I can't even handle it!!
3. My momma is bringing my "wedding present" for me! aka fresh TURKEY!!! (as in the turkey died 2 days earlier). If any of you know me, for the last couple of years, we've been killing our turkey at a family friend's home. Up to our elbows in blood and guts...and it's the best memories! So I was pretty depressed about having to get a frozen turkey from the store that's been there for who knows how long. So you can understand my excitment when my mom called me and told me that I had one last wedding present, and it was weighing in at about 20 ish (give or take 5) lbs. Yeah...day MADE!

Also, since Thanksgiving is close, that means my #6 (heck yeah 6!!!) month anniversary is coming up! I'll save that for another post, but I'm soo sooo excited about that too.

On the down side, I've got at least 2 (possibly 3) tests to get through before the blessed Thanksgiving break can come. Another downside: I'll probably spend all of break studying for finals--most likely American Heritage...ugh I despise that class.

Today, though, I'm so very very thankful for so many things.
1. Everyone who is/was in the Armed Forces--You guys are champs and I am so grateful for all that they do for us, to protect those freedoms that some use to slam the military. We truly live in the land of the free BECAUSE of the brave.
2. My cute little apartment--I'm pretty convinced that by the time we move again, Dan and I will come out of this place leaving some of our best memories behind. I can't even begin to count how many times we've laughed hysterically on the kitchen floor, or how excited we get during Grey's Anatomy or Fringe (or in Dan's case, how upset he was about how Grey's ended last night), and all the late night chats about whatever's on our minds.
3. My Seester--I have absolutely loved having my sister here at BYU with me. I don't feel nearly as alone on campus because I know she's close. I love hearing her crazy stories about things she and her roommates and FHE brothers do. It reminds me of all the crazy things I did with my roommates and honestly wonder how we ever came out of half the things we did without a scratch.
4. Family--I miss them so much, and I hate feeling like I'm missing out on their lives. I guess everyone's got to grow up and move on at some point, but it's still stinky! I am so grateful for my family and the strength and support they are to me and Dan. I know they're always praying for us and it's so nice to know that there's someone rooting for us (even if they're kinda far away). I'm grateful for the home I grew up in with so much love between my siblings and I and knowing that whatever happens, we've always got each other's backs. I'm grateful for my dad who taught me what to expect out of my future husband, and that he always honors his priesthood. You never know how much you take the priesthood in your home for granted until it's not there anymore. I'm grateful for my mom, who is hands down, the best mom I could have ever asked for.
5. My In-Laws--I absolutely love them! I'm so grateful I married into a wonderful family that loves and cares about us so much! It's so nice to call and talk to them. I can't wait till we get to see them again! I know Dan misses them.
6. Dan--I wouldn't be anywhere without him. He is everything to me, and I'm so grateful each and every day that my Heavenly Father and I agreed on him. He goes to work every day, sometimes at 6 am, and takes care of us. I love that he lets me just focus on school for now. I'm sure he's planning on reciprocating that after I graduate and am making dolla dolla bills as a nurse, so he can finish up in school. He's my best friend, hands down, and I'm so grateful I get to spend the rest of my life, and eternity with him.

I'm sure once Thanksgiving itself actually rolls around, I'll have a grand list to share! But for now, that's all.

"I feel my Savior's love, the love He freely gives me."

Today I'm grateful

So I was writing in my journal this morning about an experience that had happened on Sunday and I realized that I'm leaving in 9 days. 9. We're not even in the two digits anymore. I find myself practically biting my tongue off so that Dan will go to work instead of begging him to stay. Begging him to just lay in bed with me and hold me for the rest of the day. I think that's my favorite part about our entire day. I get to wake up with his arms around me and go to bed with them around me. He came home for lunch and to go pick up our car from the mechanic shop. I was just relishing the moment and kind of taking it all in, and it's making me sad. I know that as soon as he hits his goal, he'll hit the road hard. But it's still crappy to think about being apart for so long. So I'm going to remind myself of everything I've been blessed with.

1. Gilbert-He fixed our car today and it runs so smoothly! It's not shaking anymore or anything, and the air conditioning works! And all for a little less that $200. Way better than the $1300 we got quoted!

2. School-As much as I'm dreading BYU, I'm kind of excited. I'm grateful for the opportunity that I have to gain an education and make something of myself.

3. The Temple-I called today to make an appointment for Dan and I to go to the San Antonio Temple next Wednesday. I'm so incredibly thrilled to finally be going again! I am going to love that in Utah we'll be so close to one.

4. Family-I've got the best family in the entire world. My parents that are always ready and willing to help or offer advice. My in laws that are also a wealth of information and knowledge that have helped Dan and I both with lots of advice as well.

5. Heavenly Father-He knows me so well, it's scary. He's always there for me and even when I feel alone during the day, He's there and is constantly reminding me that I'm never alone.

6. Dan-He's my rock and my strength. Jaynee told me about a month and a half ago when we were talking about how much we love our husbands that I'd be surprised and how much it grows. She was right. I love him so much more than I ever have and it just keeps growing as we sacrifice together, we go through trials together, and we always put the each other and the Lord first. I am so very grateful for him and everything he has sacrificed for me and to provide for our family. I'm so grateful that he married me. I'm the lucky one.

Lastly, I'm grateful my family is eternal. Forever. That's the best feeling in the entire world.

This is awkward.

I've officially (*note officially) decided that having a cold in the middle of the freaking summer in the sweltering heat and humidity that is Texas is quite possibly the most awkward feeling in the world. If you already saw that on my facebook post, sorry.

I think I'm finally catching the tail end of what the boys and Jaynee had last week. I had a sore throat (and when I say sore I mean it was concentrated to one little pocket on my left tonsil--don't worry, I checked. It was the only one with a little yucky on it...and no that yucky wasn't strep. I checked that too. I've seen enough strep living with Raegan that I was 110% positive it wasn't strep). Wow that was a long interjection. And thing hang nail on my thumb hurts friggen bad!!

Back on topic, so I had a sore throat for like maybe 2 days at most. I started sucking on cough drops and popping vitamin C like candy as soon as it started hurting. Then it went away by Monday and then last night at basketball, seriously within the whole hour that we were there, my nose was stuffed up and I couldn't breathe out of it. I could seriously feel the membranes getting filled and plugged with fluid. Sucks. A big freaking fish.

So last night, my poor honey had to endure me snoring through the night because I couldn't breathe. He said this morning that within 15 minutes of me falling asleep, I was snoring. He had stayed up to read a book for a little bit. It was the pits. So I couldn't breathe all night, and woke up around 4 this morning to go blow my nose and after that I could not get comfortable. I'm getting seriously pissed off with my hypothalamus lately because my sleeping schedule is so wacked. I cannot sleep through the entire night to save my life. I always wake up at least once and it's almost always between the hours of 4 and 6 in the morning. For the life of me I can't figure out why. It would only be 2 in Arizona, so it's not like I'm used to waking up that early or anything. But it sucks. And it sucks even more when you're sick.

I'm glad though that yesterday I cleaned up my house and did most of the laundry because I almost put it off until today and clearly that wouldn't have happened. I did manage to drag myself to the gym and do 30 minutes of cardio. I'm not sure if that was the best thing for me or not, but hey it's all gotta get out of my system eventually. Let's just get it circulated around and out of me as fast as possible. I came home, and seriously all I wanted was ramen. Sick right? Out of all the food that I have in the fridge, I was just craving some chicken ramen. Kinda like when you're sick your mom always makes you chicken noodle soup? Well I always thought the soup was too watery, not concentrated enough. So I like ramen.

I drove to WalMart, walked down the pasta aisle, and started to grab a couple of packages of the chicken ramen. Well, lo and behold, they have creamy chicken ramen. They have picante chicken ramen. They have oriental and shrimp ramen! Geez louise! I knew about the shrimp and oriental kinds, but the creamy and picante? Dang I was shocked! So I got some creamy to try. I'll let you know how it comes out.

I realized today that Dan doesn't ever blog on here...not that he would, but I feel like it's always me telling stories. I guess I'm the one who has the time to tell them.

I was talking to Dan last night after we got home from basketball and was just asking him about Kameron. I never met him or got the chance to meet him. I wish I would have had that opportunity. One day I will. Anyway, so I was asking Dan to tell me about him so at least I can kind of have a feel for who my other brother is. I also asked Dan if he thought things would be different for him personally if Kameron hadn't passed away. He said he probably wouldn't have gone to EA and would have tried to go to a university, but when Kameron passed away, he just wanted to be close to family. In that instance, I wasn't grateful things happened the way that they did with Kameron, but I'm grateful for the out reaching effects that it had. I never would have met Dan. I wouldn't be here in Texas. And I wouldn't be this happy and in love. So I don't feel like "thank you" is appropriate, but if you catch my drift, I am grateful. And I'm grateful for the eternities that are ahead that I will get that opportunity to meet him and to know him.

So this post is super sketchy and all over the place, but it's all the thoughts that are going through my head right now, and at least if they get written down, someone can try to make sense of them later. Good luck to them! Haha.

On our little desk right here where the computer is, there's 3 pictures. One of them is one of my favorite wedding pictures with Dan's boutonniere right below it. Another is Dan with Matt and Kameron when Matt got home from his mission. The other is mine and Dan's favorite engagement picture. It's in a frame that was given to us by Jacie Ames and her family. The frame says this:

Faith  Hope  Love

The greatest of these is Love.

Gratitude

Tuesday: Basketball night. Leftovers for dinner.

I hate waking up with swollen eyes. It's almost like you can't have a fresh start the next day  because the evidence it still across your face. I feel so drained. And it's almost a pain in the butt trying to find something to keep me in a good mood. I'm not in a bad mood by any means, but I'm just kind of melancholy. I could really go for some ice cream right now. Bahaha I'm such a girl.

One way to change that attitude is to think about what I'm grateful for and the blessings I've been given.

Number 1 (and not necessarily the most important): Momma. She is so amazing. I am so blessed to have the most amazing mom in the entire world and I'm so lucky to be able to call her when I'm sad or when I'm happy or just to talk to her and have entirely meaningless conversations. I don't know what I would do without her. She's one of my best friends. I've always appreciated that she's been my mom first and foremost before she's my friend. She's amazing. The life she's lived and made is amazing. I will be forever grateful that she got to be my mother and that I've been so privileged to have her in my life.

Number 2: Good friends. Yesterday was just a down day. It was all I could do to keep  myself from just breaking down every 5 minutes. I got a text from a friend that's here in Austin with us and she just helped me to see that I am strong enough, that I can do this, and that I'm not alone in anything. It's always a good feeling to know that someone is out there and someone's thinking about you. I'm grateful for a good friend that was able to help me smile yesterday and realize a lot of things about myself that are hard to see in the midst of a trial or a struggle. Thank you Kristi.

Number 3: Dan. He's my best friend in this entire world. When he came home yesterday, I had kept myself together pretty well by then. Pandora was playing country songs and the song that was playing was called "I Do" and he grabbed me and pulled me close and just danced with me in the kitchen. I lost it. I just cried and cried and cried. Like practically hysterical crying. I don't think I've ever cried that much in front of him. It's funny, I kept trying to do other things and get my mind focused on other things, but he wouldn't let me. He just  held me and I just cried. I finally told him just how scared I am about being there by myself for the first month of school and just all of that. But at the same time, I told him that I'll be okay. My sister will be there, Jami will be there, and so will all my mom's family. I'm gonna be fine.

He knows me so well though...how much I try to put on a tough face and hide behind it. And I love that he knows that. I love him. I'm so glad I married him. Even today, I just continue to realize how much I need him each and every day, how he just completes me. Sorry to sound like such a sap, but really it's true.

Anyway, time to head out and get a couple of things done. Feeling better and happier already. This gratitude thing....it really works.