The grass is always greener

Relief Society lesson on Sunday was interesting, for lack of a better word. It was the first Sunday, so the president taught the lesson. She started off with a comment that completely broke my heart. She said that there are quite a few mothers in our stake who have gone to the stake president because for one reason or another they don't like being a mother. Not even kidding. I was shocked. Maybe I'm just one of those really crazy people that has always wanted to be a mom, with six kids running around the backyard with the dog. I'd have to say I've thought about it on more than one occasion.

So I guess you can understand my shock. I have always felt like the greatest thing I will ever do in my life is raise children and have a family. It sounds weird coming from the girl who is finishing her education to have a career. But I've told Dan many times that even if I'm the greatest nurse in the entire world and make all these great accomplishments, it won't mean anything if I've failed to take care of and raise my children. That is what's really important in life. But for me, like for most, it has a time and place, and everyone reaches that point in life at a different time.

Back to the Relief Society lesson: it ended up being a really great discussion and I felt extremely enlightened at the end of it. Several points were brought up, as well as advice. I live in one of those wards where it's a lot of newly weds and nearly deads. Not that extreme, and there are quite a few families that are in between with kids. But, there are quite a few people who have kids now grown up having kids of their own. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's lots of parenting advice and ideas going around.

1. Pace yourself: Stop trying to do everything at once, and getting everything done now. Life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. Pace yourself. Take life in stride, and enjoy it!

2. Be your own kind of mom: As far as I've seen, there's no rule book for how to be the perfect mom. No set list of things that have to be done each and every day. No rule that says you need to have an immaculate house, and perfect children with the perfect outfits. A lady in my ward made the comment that she felt extremely unfulfilled and inadequate. Then she realized that she really loved doing crafts with her kids. So that's what she does! And she loves it! She loves being a mom, and helping her kids make arts and crafts. You need to find what fits for you and do it. You don't have to be exactly like the mom down the street. Be yourself, and your own kind of mom.

3. Accept yourself for now: Life is a journey. I, for one, am guilty of constantly looking at the finish line and wanting to be there. Especially in nursing school. I just want to be done so I actually have time! Time for myself, time for my husband, time to clean my house! Time to start a family, and time to spend each moment possible with those precious babies that will one day fill these walls. But life keeps going. It is not the same as it was yesterday, and it will be different tomorrow. The trick, or so they say, is to enjoy it now, for exactly what it is. For me, that means enjoying nursing school, and all the hell it brings with it. Later, that will mean accepting the fact that there's dirty laundry piling up, and a messy house, but my babies are happy. It's learning to be okay with how life is right now. Just be happy.

4. Do your best: Every day. How could you be upset with yourself when you know that you've given it your very best? Being a mom one day will be so so hard, and so so rewarding. Each and every day, if I just try my very best, I know that that will be enough.

5. Your husband and children just want you to be happy: The end. Seriously, self explanatory.

6. Read, write, take time for yourself: This one is so important, in life, in general. I'm of a pretty strong opinion that you can only give so much of yourself before you break. Many times, I've had to just take a time out. Basically tell homework to screw itself, and watch some Grey's Anatomy or the Office. I also like reading...a lot. Give me a week after school gets out and I will have a book in my hand. I love reading. And blogging. Anyway, take some time for yourself each day. Even if it's just 15 minutes. I need that. I feel like it helps me recharge and get back into my activities with a little more gusto.

At the end of the day, the grass is always going to be greener somewhere else. But, I'd say my grass is pretty dang green...and I'll take it.

One more thing that I've always loved is this saying:

Bloom where you're planted.

Cheers to the freaking weekend

Three day weekend was just what the doctor ordered!! Let's just go with a brief overview.

FRIDAY: Clinical, buddy day. Enough said. It was so freaking legit and made me so excited that I'm going to be a nurse soon!! However, not the point of the post. I suppose that will wait for another day. Friday night we FINALLY had our clinical group date that we'd been planning since last semester!! Robin was in town for a few days, and it's early enough in the semester that we all had a free evening. It also happened to be Clark's birthday! So we ordered pizza, made some cupcakes, sang happy birthday, and just hung out for the night. Cami and Matt, Robin, Jordan, Kaci, and Ashley and Clark were all over and we had a blast. It was a much needed comedic relief from the stress that we're all already feeling with this semester.

So each of the married couples told the story of how they met/proposal. It was pretty funny to say the least and all of us were practically rolling on the floor with laughter. The highlight for me of Cami and Matt's story was that in high school, Matt was a wrestler. And the way Cami puts it, he had black hair (dyed for wrestling) and was anorexic (to stay in his weight class). Haha. The highlight for me of Ashley and Clark's story was that Clark used SO MANY ONE LINERS on Ashley! Haha major cheese ball but hilarious at the same time! It was great and so nice to feel like we have friends that all of us actually get along with each other. After everyone had left, Cami and Matt were stayed for a bit talking to us, and between Cami and I we have quite a bit of "funds" starting. First we have the "pedicure fund" and then there's the "sushi fund" and I'm sure there are a few more we came up with!

Truth: making married friends is HARD!! Fact: all of us that night got along so well! All the girls of course, but the guys totally did too and that made me so happy! I love having couple friends!

SATURDAY: We had the Bunker's over! We were quite the party animals this last weekend. A rare occasion for us! We talked for quite a bit and played some Monopoly. I thought it would be pretty boring, but it actually ended up being super fun with only 4 people playing. Dan ended up completely bankrupt because he landed on Ed's "Boardwalk" property. $1400 in rent...can't really see why he went broke, haha. It was pretty funny, and the game ended after that. It was nice to have them over though because I feel like they were some of our first real friends that we made since being married. I love that we can go a few months without hanging out and things are still the same when we do get together again! Like I said, I love having couple friends! I just wish I had more time to hang out with them!

SUNDAY: Church. The sacrament. Spending the day with Dan. I just love Sundays. We made kalua and rice for dinner...I could go to heaven just thinking about it! Caitlin and Tyler came over for dinner too, and that was nice to see them again! I haven't seen Caitlin since she left for Christmas break. And she lives in the same state! It's just a testament to how busy I really am. Dan also made sweet bread after Caitlin and Tyler left. It's so so yummy! I didn't take any pictures of these loaves though...next time!! Next time!!

MONDAY: I decided it was time to lose my bread making virginity. I was so inspired by Dan's bread making skills the night before, and about a week ago, I came across my mom's bread recipe. So, I decided What the heck! I'll make bread today, and put this KitchenAid to good use! It was quite an experience to say the least! First of all, I really did not think all the required flour was going to fit into the mixing bowl. It barely did. Second, the dough was practically pouring over the sides by the time it was finished mixing. Third, it was so MESSY! Flour was in every which direction from the KitchenAid out and I had so much dough all over my fingers, I probably could have made another loaf. Okay, slight over exaggeration, but I really did have a ton of dough on my fingers.

Another reason it got so messy...well we're like kids some days, and we started putting flour all over each other. And since Dan has such a cute butt...I couldn't resist!

Then I let it rise for an hour, and it got HUGE!

I separated it into the bread pans, and after it baked, I had to have a slice, fresh and hot out of the oven. It did not disappoint. Our bread making ventures this weekend were quite the success. I, for one, was extremely proud of my bread!

Monday afternoon, Dan wanted to go fishing. I was pretty excited about it and excited to maybe get to use my fly fishing pole that Dan had bought me for Christmas. We went up Spanish Fork Canyon to Diamond Fork River. We drove into a campsite and found a spot pretty close to the river. We went to pull off the road a little ways (there were other track marks from multiple tires), and we had just barely pulled off when the front left tire sank straight down into the snow. Suck. It was pretty interesting, and we were seriously stuck, and stuck good. Like we rocked the car, shoved brush under the tires to get better traction, and the car would not move! The tires just kept spinning. Even more frustrating though, the tires would start to go forward, roll just enough, and then slip back into the hole. Luckily for us, there were other people stuck right around the corner. We walked over to ask for help, and helped them push their car out, and they came over to help us.

I was really afraid at this point that we would have to get pulled out. We didn't have a tow rope. Neither did they. Crap. I got back into the car, and we tried to push it out. It worked!!!! First time too. It was such a blessing! We made it out just fine, and even found Pitch Perfect at Redbox to watch!! The evening ended with eating chili with Caitlin and Tyler, and watching the movie.

It has been a great weekend. Now back to the grind. LOTS of homework to catch up on.

Why Sunday's are my favorite...and then some

(Preface...I wrote this ohhh 2 weeks-ish ago, and said nursing test that will be discussed later, well I have another one coming up. Oh the irony. This one I predict will go much better).

Not only do I get to spend the ENTIRE day with my wonderful wonderful husband, but it’s also the day that I get to be at Church, and feel the love of my Heavenly Father as I learn and grow more and more in the gospel. I know I can (and should) be doing this every day, but Sunday is just that day that’s set aside specifically for this one purpose. And that’s just one of the many reasons I love love Sundays.

But in order to understand this love a little bit better, we need to rewind to Saturday.

Saturday was the last day to take my nursing test. Yes I am a procrastinator. Always have been, and I’m pretty sure I always will, though I do have the resolve just about every week that I will do better (and for the most part this semester that’s worked out pretty well…except for this test). So I took Dan to work Saturday morning, and came home to study. I studied studied studied my little brain out, and I felt like I was doing okay. Then I realized that the study guide that had been handed out only had half the material on it. First “crap.”

I found the rest of the study guide online, downloaded it, and then proceeded to finish studying. I go to pick Dan up from work at 1 and had a little inkling to check the testing center line conditions (I had heard that on Thursday the lines were out the door and the wait was an hour to get in). Since the testing center closes at 4 on Saturdays, that means the last test is handed out at 3. So I wanted to be there around 2 just to be on the safe side. I checked the line conditions on my phone, and low and behold, it was packed! Second “crap.”

I panicked. Completely and utterly panicked. I hadn’t finished looking through all the material and hadn’t even really hit the important stuff. I rushed home with Dan in tow, burst through the front door, gathered up all the pages I’d been studying, printed off the study guide I’d been working on, and ran back out the door. I was in tears. It was a little ridiculous, but I honestly and truly felt like I was about to legitimately fail a test for the first time in my life. I had made a goal to get all A’s on my tests this semester, and so far I’d done just that: New Testament, Statistics, and this Nursing test was going to ruin it all. (This part was like the overwhelming “crap” going on in my head. Don’t judge, I have high standards for myself.)

We booked it to school, Dan dropped me off, and I was still in tears because I knew there was no way this one was happening. I didn’t deserve it on any account to do well on this test, and I sure as heck did not deserve to even ASK for the help I DEFINITELY DID NOT deserve. I get to the testing center, and just catch out of the corner of my eye a glimpse of the line: it was out the door. Third “crap.” (Though this one might have gone through my head more colorfully).

This time I kept the tears in, after all I didn’t want to fail a test and be completely embarrassed on campus all in the same day. A girl’s gotta keep a little dignity with her. So I’m standing in line, which surprisingly moved fairly quickly, and looking through all the powerpoint slides, frantically trying to remember all the things I’ve learned the last few weeks. I offered up a silent, pleading prayer, fully acknowledging that I had not prepared enough and that I knew I didn’t deserve any help on this one, but asking just the same. I had done all the reading (really, ALL the readings), all the homework, paid attention in class, and I just prayed that that would be enough, to just help me remember THAT stuff. I had another thought, to read my scriptures.

I came across this little gem: 2 Nephi 11:7

“For if there be no Christ, there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time.”

I’m a firm believer that He hears me, that He knows exactly who I am, and that He completely understands why I do the things I do. I’m also a firm believer that He knows exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. I’ve read this scripture before, and it hit me then much like it did on Saturday. Only this time, when I read that, it was almost like I felt Him tell me It’s okay, I can make up the difference, I know you’re not perfect, and you were never meant to be in this life. All I ask is that you try and consecrate your life to me. (In a lot more simpler feelings that words cannot quite express).

The test went great, in fact better than I could have hoped. I knew everything on the test except maybe 5 questions, and of those 5 I still felt moderately comfortable with the information. I turned it in, called Dan, and then decided to check my score. I was secretly in my heart of hearts hoping for an A (even if it was a 90, it’s still an A), all the while knowing that if I had gotten a B I would have been overjoyed! It loaded, and I almost broke down in tears right there. I had only missed 3 questions, and gotten a 93.6%.

You know those moments when you don’t even know where to begin to express how grateful you are for all the blessings in your life (especially the ones you see immediately) and “thank you” just never seems adequate, but it’s the only thing you can say?

This was one of those.

I jumped (practically) into Dan’s arms when I saw him, and I think he was honestly more excited than I was about this. Before I walked in to take the test, he had text me this: I CAN DO THIS! I AM SMART! I HAVE FAITH! I AM HAPPY! (these were each repeated 3x). I breathed a sigh of relief and it was all I could do to keep from crying (it was an emotional day) and smiling and laughing all at the same time. And then I told Dan crap! Now this means I have to keep the A’s on tests up! Haha go figure I was looking to let myself out of that goal!

Then Sunday came, remember it’s my favorite day of the week, and Dan was teaching Sunday School and had us look up this scripture: 3 Nephi 1:12-14

“And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him saying:

Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.

Behold I come unto my own, to fulfill all things which I have made known unto the children of me from the foundation of the world, and to do the will, both of the Father and of the Son—of the Father because of me, and of the Son because of my flesh. And behold, the time is at hand, and this night shall the sign be given.”

So it’s talking about the sign of Christ’s birth that would be seen in the America’s, but the bolded part was really the message he was looking to grasp from this. I think the background information is important though. Anyway, it was just another one of those that I felt was directed to me personally (though I’m sure many people felt that way too).

Dan had these words written on the chalkboard: OPPOSITIONàPOSITIONàPOSITIVE

It looked something like this after he was done explaining everything:

OPPOSITIONàPOSITIONàPOSITIVE

The underlying message was that we should be positive when we face our trials and to never back down.

Take home message: be positive through your opposition. You don't have to like it, but be happy through it. If there's anything I have learned throughout my life (geez it sounds like I've lived forever) it's that my Heavenly Father knows me. He loves me. He is aware of me. Time and time again I'm reminded of that, and it always makes me cry...but a happy cry. A grateful cry. It's a goal of mine to personally try to be happy. All the time. Even if I have to fake it for a bit till I really believe it.

Anddd...since this was originally written 2 weeks ago...test update: I have gotten A's on all my tests, except 1 (and that one was a B)! (I have a theory on that...more to come later.)

Sunday afternoons on the beach

Yesterday afternoon was exactly what Dan and I needed. This summer has been rough, albeit rewarding, but definitely a struggle on all fronts. It's been so busy and so go go go that honestly I can't believe I'm going back to school in 2 weeks. FLOWN by!

So yesterday after Church, we came home, ate some lunch, watched some Olympics highlights, and then we headed out. There's this lake/reservoir out in Westminster and Dan had been there for a lunch break a few weeks earlier when he was selling out there. It was so awesome becuase they ahve this little parking lot just off the main road that you can park and walk into the reservoir. Best part: you don't have to pay!!

Now I don't know about you, but swimming on Sunday was a "no-no" when I was growing up. Dan on the other hand, things were a little different. They'd go to the beach after Church...and when at the beach, you go swimming. So we compromised at wading in the water.

It was super relaxing and a BEAUTIFUL day outside. PERFECT in fact. The sand was soft and the water was somewhat warm. That (for lack of a better word) perfect water. It was the best thing for Dan and I to just have a few minutes together, and to be outside, and to relax. Just about the PERFECT remedy for a LESS THAN perfect summer.

Back to Provo in a couple weeks. I'm kind of excited about it actually. SURPRISINGLY.

I love him. FOREVER.

THE END.

We like to wrestle on Sundays

Often times these wrestling matches end with Dan getting elbowed in the head. All completely unintentional of course.

This last Sunday in particular I got pictures of it, which I might add is quite the difficult task.

This is how it always starts. Cute and cuddly. Then someone (usually me) pokes the other in a ticklish spot...and it's all downhill from there.

See what I mean...it's already started. 

Then Dan starts stealing the blankets! We were in the middle of washing the sheets or else I'm sure they would have ended up wrapped around someone at some point too.

The little stinker has the nerve to stick his tongue out at me!!

...which winds him up on the floor crying because I accidentally elbowed him the in forehead. Honestly this elbow throwing happens quite frequently and totally by accident. Poor Dan! It happened just tonight in fact, but we'll save that elbowing story for another day.

Said accidental elbowing then leads to the dragging on the floor. Seriously...Dan grabbed me by the ankles and dragged me off our bed and into the living room. Thank goodness I didn't get carpet burn or I would have been PISSED!!!

Drag-age destination: Living room

where I got rolled up in our blanket! Just like the dead body you're trying to dispose of!

And the best part....after the elbow throwing and wrapping up of dead bodies, he still gives me a kiss to make up :] 

Sunday Afternoons

You've gotta love it when you fall asleep on the couch with your husband, and you wake up with drool running down your forehead. Hahahaha, I seriously was pretty grossed out for a second, mostly because it's bodily fluid. Dan and I were laughing so hard for a few minutes about it though. Oh I love it!

On a side note, I found out Saturday (after studying for chemistry for a couple hours with Jennifer and Shelyse) that I got into the nursing program at BYU. I'm finally starting to get excited and happy about it. I think I've just been super stressed about this chemistry test just because I already needed a good grade, and then I was feeling even more stressed to do well on this chemistry test (I'm taking it Monday morning, so if you read this before then, keep me in your prayers!).

Anyway, today was really nice to go to church because I really just needed to know that my Heavenly Father is aware of us and exactly how we're feeling and what we're going through. I just needed to know that we're gonna be okay, that we're gonna make it through this. I've just had a lot of stress get piled on...ya know the usual school, money and just life in general, it's rough. So church today was so nice to just relax and listen-the Primary Program was today- and feel the Spirit. Exactly what I needed. I was reminded and could feel the Lord's love for us, and that as long as we're doing what we need to be doing, and have faith, the Lord is going to help us. It was a great reassurance to know that as long as we're working together to progress, the Lord will bless us.

I love my husband and I'm grateful for the trials we go through because we get to go through them together. We don't have to be alone in it-not that we ever are, because the Lord is always there.

Sunday afternoon's might just be my favorite

Seriously, how great is a day that I get to spend entirely with my husband. Seriously. How great is that day? Well let me tell you, it's pretty dang great. I love being able to go to church with him in the morning and come home, make some lunch...well more like spooning pb&j out of the jars so that I have enough bread to make him a sandwich tomorrow...and then get to take the greatest nap in the history of the world. Word.

I really don't think I've slept that solidly since moving to Texas. And to prove how deep that sleep was, I had the trippiest dream ever!! Really, I woke up still thinking I was getting attacked by snakes. My finger still hurt from where the snake in my dream bit me. Weird...I know. Naps might be out of the picture for a little while. Alright, so I really don't know how long that will last, but it's a nice thought.

We had a potluck barbeque thing with the company for dinner around 530 and Dan made the hamburgers for us. It was sooo good too! It looked like a little dinky thing on the grill, but it was think and juicy and Dan's the reason we're gonna get fat!! Haha, but it was sooo delicious.

Last night, Dan came home a little early and we had a date night in. So fun!! He helped me make dinner--Hawaiian haystacks--and went to WalMart to get some hair clippers. Came home, had some dessert and watched Country Strong. Great movie! I really like it. Mostly I liked just being able to spend time with him, not having to worry about making sure he gets to his meeting on time or anything like that, but just to be with him and enjoy each other's company. LOVED IT. Love being married. Best thing ever.