TWO

Our 2 year anniversary was on Monday. Two years!!! Craziness I tell you, absolute insanity. Dan had to work and we had just gotten back from Nauvoo at 12:30 in the morning (another blog post: sister's wedding in Nauvoo/Nauvoo trip from last week!). So the actual anniversary day itself was fairly uneventful. And that's just fine. I needed some serious recovery from being in Nauvoo for a week.

I made a pretty delicious dinner (if I do say so myself). Pork chops with garlic mashed potatoes and a salad made of Romaine lettuce. Dessert was strawberry shortcake.

For a few moments during the day, I took the time to reflect back on where we've been/done in the last two years. It always makes me smile when I look back on the brief time we've had together so far. That makes me so happy though because it's always been one of my goals to live my life with no regrets and to be happy. I want to be 90 years old sitting on a rocking chair with Dan and reflecting back on the life we've lived and be able to laugh and smile about it all, knowing that we've lived a good and happy life.

The most memorable part of our wedding day for me was after we had been sealed in the temple. I've mentioned this before, but when I think back on that day, this is the moment I remember. Everyone had walked by and said their congratulations, and it was just Dan and I left in the sealing room. We were both grinning from ear to ear there was this intense joy and overwhelming feeling of peace that completely enveloped the room. As we walked out, I felt a weight lifted off my chest and finally felt like I could breathe. It was a feeling that has been imprinted in my mind and in my heart forever. I will never forget that moment.

The sealing room was so full, both physically and spiritually. I know that people on the other side were in attendance that day, especially my Grandpa Mecham and Dan's brother Kameron. I could feel them both so close that day.

In the last two years, I've learned that being married is so hard, and so easy, and so rewarding, all at the same time.

I  have learned that I am very quick to get irritated, but that Dan's not, at all. In fact, it takes so much to really even get him angry period. I'm learning to be more like that. Thank goodness he's so patient with me.

I have learned that just snuggling up next to each other in bed is enough some days, and that a smile when he walks through the door after a long day at work immediately sets the tone for the rest of the night.

I have learned to try many new recipes (thank you Pinterest!) and 90% of them are keepers, but you can never go wrong with some spaghetti and garlic bread.

I have learned that my mom doesn't have all the answers anymore, but that I still call her with most of my questions anyway.

I have learned to truly appreciate the quiet peace that accompanies temple service. When we were in Nauvoo, Caitlin went through for her own endowment. I remember uttering a silent prayer, pleading with my Heavenly Father to feel peace. He never ceases to amaze me. It was so quiet I almost didn't notice, but it was definitely there, and I'm so grateful for that.

I have learned that love notes are more memorable than any big fancy dinner. They are far more treasured as well.

I have learned that being happy is a choice I have to make every day, and that no one else can determine my happiness.

I have truly come to appreciate how hard Dan works to take care of us each and every day. It's something that I take for granted, and I don't tell him thank you enough.

I have learned that words are more often than not never adequate to express the love and gratitude that I feel for Dan each and every day.

I have learned that actions speak louder than words, but that words still carry quite a bit of weight.

I have learned to recognize my Savior's hand in my life, and just how involved He really is in the finer details of my life, in the simple, seemingly  repetitive decisions I make each day. He is always there.

Most importantly, I have learned that Dan is the perfect man for me, in each and every way. I could never ask for anyone better. He strives so hard each day to be better and makes me want to try harder to be better. We're going places in the life together, and I could not have wished for a better partner and companion through this life and eternity.

Happy 2 years my love. And here's to many many more.

The Perfect Marriage

I've been wanting to write about this since yesterday but I didn't quite know how to say it. I still don't, but I can't get it out of my head and it really really needs to leave so I can focus on other things in my life.

The perfect marriage...what is it? Where does it start?

For me, it started right here...

For me, it started out as a forever kind of love, in the right kind of place, with the perfect man for me right by my side.

It was everything and more that I had dreamed about since I was a little girl. It's everything I had been taught in primary and throughout young women's unfolding right before my eyes.

It has been the greatest struggle of my entire life.
It has been the greatest blessing in my entire life.
It has been the greatest decision for my life.


In my eyes, the perfect marriage is the one you will go to hell and back for, the one you stay up all night fighting and crying for, and the one that at the end of the day, you're so so grateful you get to curl up next to them at night and sleep.

I tell Dan a lot that I'm the lucky one in this marriage, that I scored big and I definitely married up in all respects. I don't know that I tell him enough though. Our marriage is no where near perfect, but I wouldn't trade all the time we've had together and all the fights we've had for the world. Because after those fights, there's a sweet surrender and a realization that as angry and hurt as we might be, there's no where else I'd rather be in the entire world than right there with him, struggling and fighting and loving him, all at the same time. It's a complicated feeling. It's a complicated love.
Love is complicated. Period.

I really don't think they prepare you enough for marriage growing up. I know we all get the devotionals and the young womens/mens lessons about finding the right person and making sure you keep your standards high and date the people with your same values and standards, but I really don't think they teach you what to do after. After you find the right person. After you get married in the temple. After. It almost gets pushed off to the side and it kind of feels like they shove you out the doors and say good luck! Call us if you need anything!

I know this really isn't how it goes, and I'm definitely dramatizing it, but oblige me for a few minutes.

It seems like all around us, people we know, and even friends, are fighting and having trouble in their marriage. Quite honestly, I hate hearing about it. I don't mind being the listening ear that a friend needs, but it sucks to hear about that kind of stuff because then it gets me all worried about them, and to be frank, I don't have enough hours in the day to worry about myself and my marriage, and I definitely do not have the hours to worry about theirs. That sounds harsh, but I'm a straight forward kind of person.  I always have been.

Anyway, I listen and think to myself, there has to be some sort of program or class that you could go to before you get married. Like a marriage prep class. A legit one. I told Dan the other day (and don't get offended if I'm wrong) that if the Church held a class as sort of an "After the I do's" to open people's eyes into what marriage really is, I don't think nearly as many people would get divorced as do now. I mean, so much time and effort is taken to make sure you're prepared to go through the temple, why not a class to help prepare you for what married life is really like?

I love love love being married. It's by far the best decision I've ever made in my life. But it is hard. It is really freaking hard. And if you don't want it, if you don't need that relationship, that companionship in your life, you'll never make it. Forever is a really long time and that decision should not be made lightly. So much time and effort is put into teaching us to find the right person, and I think sometimes we get so caught up in that that we forget to be the right person for someone else. We forget those traits and qualities within ourselves.

I heard this quote somewhere, and I have absolutely loved it: You have to like yourself single if you're ever going to like yourself married.

I loved myself single (that sounds horrible, but roll with me). Ask any of my friends, I was happy and crazy and so completely comfortable with myself and who I am that I really didn't care what anyone else thought of me. I love myself married. I'm not nearly as crazy anymore, at least not in public. I still do some pretty weird things around the house and Dan just looks and me and laughs. I think he know's it's the Raegan and Abbie coming out in me. I still do not care what anyone thinks of me, and I'm happy.

I think the perfect marriage is one that you can be yourself in, the one that accepts you with all your flaws and all the imperfections, and still loves you just the same if not more. It's the one that compliments your strengths and weaknesses. It's the one where love grows deep within your soul each and every day. It's the one that encourages you to keep trying to keep pushing through the failures and the bumps in the road. It's the one that builds you up on the very worst of days. It's the one that does not accept failure as an option. It's the one that is centered and founded upon Christ.

Perfect is complicated. Perfect is negotiable. Perfect is whatever you make it. Perfect is perfect for you.

I love Dan more than words will ever be able to express. I hope my actions reflect even the smallest portion of the love I feel for him. He's my rock and strength, and if I have learned anything in this last year it's that I need him in my life and with him and the Lord on my side, I can conquer any mountain one step at a time. We're no where near perfect, but we're perfect for each other. And I wouldn't trade that love for the world.

Happy One Year Anniversary (one month and one day late :]).

And here's to many many more to come...

TODAYYYY...

I'm living in Denver Colorado. I love it, most days. The only days I don't like it are when I get sunburned driving to work, and when Dan gets bloody noses because the air is so dry here. Oh and the days that the sun comes up before 630...which is every day. But it's growing on me. I don't sleep in passed 730 anymore, not that I could with school, but I might as well keep up the schedule right?

I work for Dan's company in the office taking care of "samedays" and initial services. It's good work and even better money, but let's say putting in around 50 hr a week...not okay. Starting Monday though I go to part time...thank goodness! Let's just put it this way, I'm way too involved in the inner workings of the company between the salesman and the techs. It's just too much. I just want to be a wife, Dan's wife, and work a couple days a week.

Anyway, we do love it here. It's been such a great experience thus far and it's only going up from here. I haven't blogged in a long time. I need to. I suck at writing in journals, it takes too long, and I might as well just keep a blog.

My one year anniversary is on Sunday. So is Mother's day. It kind of seems fitting. Honestly, when I first found out that's when my anniversary was going to be, I was a little miffed. Thank you leap year. But I went and bought some Mother's Day cards for my momma and my mother in law. It just seems right that we get to celebrate the joining of our families and the huge blessing our mothers are in our lives.

Sunday will be a much, much better post. But it was just a thought.

I've been really cranky lately. I quick the pills, the birth control pills that is, and I think they're still working their way out of my system. I feel a lot more emotional, but I think that's probably a good thing. I feel happier anyway, and that was honestly the whole reasoning behind it. I wanted to be happy again. Honestly truly blissfully happy. And I'm getting there. I'm going running again in the mornings, and I just feel like I'm finding myself again, finding the girl my husband married, the woman he loves. I'm finding her again, and that is one of the best feelings, aside from being unconditionally loved.

I love you Dan. Thank you for being patient with me, and loving me anyway.

Seven

Life is creeping up on me. And I'm not entirely a fan. In fact, I'm not that much of a fan at all. Today is our seven month anniversary. Don't judge that I'm excited about it. In all honesty, I have no idea where these last seven months have gone. But they've been absolutely wonderful.

It's the best thing in the entire world to know that when life gives you lemons, you don't have to make lemonade by yourself. You've got someone to share it with. Someone to laugh with you, cry with you. Someone to confide in, and someone to tell all the crazy things that pop into your head to (or maybe that one only applies to me....and well Raegan).

In the last seven months, I've learned so much about myself. A lot of things that I didn't know. First of all, I'm pretty selfish. That's horrible. And if you already knew this about me, why on earth didn't you say something?! I'm getting better at this though. I kind of think that learning to rely on someone else brings out the selfishness in you...stick with me on this one...and actually relying on them kind of sloughs off that selfishness because you realize it's not just you going through life anymore. You've got someone that falls when you fall, and someone that's also there to support you through your trials.

I have some of the best friends anyone in this entire world could ever ask for. I could just leave it at that and call it good. But I really do. It is one of the best feelings to know that you have friends that understand that life happens and sometimes you just can't keep in constant contact with them. I love that we could have not talked in ages, but just a text hello, or a hope you're doing well, and things pick up right where they were left. Those are the friends you keep for a lifetime. I for one, fully intend on that. I love having friends that you can call to vent the frustrations of life, only to have them tell you to buck it up, and grin and bear it because it sounds a lot like life. Sometimes all you need is a good kick in the butt to put that smile back on your face.

I married the most incredible man, and he is absolutely perfect for me. He has dreams and ambitions that I would have never even thought of at this point in our life. But he never stops thinking of things to do, or businesses that he wants to start. The best part is, I know he'll get there, because that's the kind of person he is. When he wants something, he gets it. Lately, he's been watching this show called Shark Tank. Brief overview, business entrepreneurs come to these 5 billionaires and ask for x amount of money for x amount of equity in their business, and they either strike a deal with them, or don't. So Dan was telling me about a business he wants to start, and I made the joke that he should go on shark tank and get an investment. His response: Heck no! I'm doing it the old-fashioned, American way! See what I mean? Drive and ambition. He's going places, and I'm lucky enough to be on the ride with him.

The Lord really knows what is best for me. It absolutely broke my heart when I decided not to do nursing school last year at EA. It shook my faith a little bit, and I felt so lost for awhile. Obviously, the Lord had bigger plans for me--like getting married and moving to Provo. I've gained such a great testimony of the love my Heavenly Father has for me. He could obviously see that this is what was going to be best for me and our family, and that this was the place we needed to be. It has been the hardest year watching 4 of my good friends start nursing school, and now they're done with their first year. I can't even tell you how many times I called my mom just crying because I felt so frustrated, defeated, and honestly let down. This was my dream! It had been my dream since I was just a little girl. But I've learned that life is not on my timing. Heck, it's never been on my time table. It's on the Lord's. And in the last seven months, I've really come to appreciate and recognize His hand in my life.

I am so privileged to be at BYU. I've never been one of those people that had their heart set on BYU. All my life, I've avoided it like the plague. I've sneared at people that praise it, with disgust. After being here a semester though, I think I can kind of understand why people talk about it the way they do. I'll still never be one of those people, but it really is a great school. I think this semester, I've taken the most from my Book of Mormon class. I have learned so much, and have developed such a love for it, and all the people that sacrificed so much to make sure that I would have it one day. I love the element of the gospel that gets applied to every class. It just brings everything full circle. I also get to be here with my sister, and that has been a huge blessing to have her close. I feel like we really got to be friends, and not just sisters, after I left for college. So it's been so awesome to have her so close, and still get to be friends and sisters. I love hearing all her stories, and it just makes me laugh because so many of them remind me of all the shennanigans Raegan, Abbie and I would get into.

I've come to really appreciate the principle of eternal marriage. I can't imagine being without Dan ever. It's amazing how much you think you love someone, only to realize days and weeks later, that that love has grown. I thought I loved him the day I married him, and I did, but looking back at how much that love has grown over seven short months is amazing. I love that I get to be with him forever! We have some close friends that we miss so so much, and they're getting sealed as a family with their little girl in January. I have been so blessed to be associated with them, and I'm beyond ecstatic for them! It has made me appreciate my eternal marriage that much more, and watching them work towards this goal as a family has been such a testimony builder of conquering trials and reaching your goals. We love you guys so so much!!

I don't really know where to end this, but I've been so richly blessed in my life, and I'm so eternally grateful for it all. This life is no picnic, that's for sure. But today is just one of those days that I get to celebrate the amazing person I picked to have right beside me the entire way. I love you Dan. Forever and ever. :]

Straight off the silver screen

Yesterday (I know...I fail for not actually doing it yesterday, but that's beside the point) was our 6 month anniversary!! That absolutely blows my mind!! It feels like just yesterday we were here:

I absolutely love the smiles on our faces. You can just see it all over how happy we are!

I love this picture too. My absolute favorite family of 5 boys. Love love them.

All in all, it's been a great six months. We've grown so much and I'm so grateful each and every day that I get to go through this life and eternity with him by my side.

It's been a great ride so far!! And it's only going to get better!

Here's to the next six....and the rest of our lives. Loveyou.