HABAN: The grass is always greener

Relief Society lesson on Sunday was interesting, for lack of a better word. It was the first Sunday, so the president taught the lesson. She started off with a comment that completely broke my heart. She said that there are quite a few mothers in our stake who have gone to the stake president because for one reason or another they don't like being a mother. Not even kidding. I was shocked. Maybe I'm just one of those really crazy people that has always wanted to be a mom, with six kids running around the backyard with the dog. I'd have to say I've thought about it on more than one occasion.

So I guess you can understand my shock. I have always felt like the greatest thing I will ever do in my life is raise children and have a family. It sounds weird coming from the girl who is finishing her education to have a career. But I've told Dan many times that even if I'm the greatest nurse in the entire world and make all these great accomplishments, it won't mean anything if I've failed to take care of and raise my children. That is what's really important in life. But for me, like for most, it has a time and place, and everyone reaches that point in life at a different time.

Back to the Relief Society lesson: it ended up being a really great discussion and I felt extremely enlightened at the end of it. Several points were brought up, as well as advice. I live in one of those wards where it's a lot of newly weds and nearly deads. Not that extreme, and there are quite a few families that are in between with kids. But, there are quite a few people who have kids now grown up having kids of their own. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's lots of parenting advice and ideas going around.

1. Pace yourself: Stop trying to do everything at once, and getting everything done now. Life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. Pace yourself. Take life in stride, and enjoy it!

2. Be your own kind of mom: As far as I've seen, there's no rule book for how to be the perfect mom. No set list of things that have to be done each and every day. No rule that says you need to have an immaculate house, and perfect children with the perfect outfits. A lady in my ward made the comment that she felt extremely unfulfilled and inadequate. Then she realized that she really loved doing crafts with her kids. So that's what she does! And she loves it! She loves being a mom, and helping her kids make arts and crafts. You need to find what fits for you and do it. You don't have to be exactly like the mom down the street. Be yourself, and your own kind of mom.

3. Accept yourself for now: Life is a journey. I, for one, am guilty of constantly looking at the finish line and wanting to be there. Especially in nursing school. I just want to be done so I actually have time! Time for myself, time for my husband, time to clean my house! Time to start a family, and time to spend each moment possible with those precious babies that will one day fill these walls. But life keeps going. It is not the same as it was yesterday, and it will be different tomorrow. The trick, or so they say, is to enjoy it now, for exactly what it is. For me, that means enjoying nursing school, and all the hell it brings with it. Later, that will mean accepting the fact that there's dirty laundry piling up, and a messy house, but my babies are happy. It's learning to be okay with how life is right now. Just be happy.

4. Do your best: Every day. How could you be upset with yourself when you know that you've given it your very best? Being a mom one day will be so so hard, and so so rewarding. Each and every day, if I just try my very best, I know that that will be enough.

5. Your husband and children just want you to be happy: The end. Seriously, self explanatory.

6. Read, write, take time for yourself: This one is so important, in life, in general. I'm of a pretty strong opinion that you can only give so much of yourself before you break. Many times, I've had to just take a time out. Basically tell homework to screw itself, and watch some Grey's Anatomy or the Office. I also like reading...a lot. Give me a week after school gets out and I will have a book in my hand. I love reading. And blogging. Anyway, take some time for yourself each day. Even if it's just 15 minutes. I need that. I feel like it helps me recharge and get back into my activities with a little more gusto.

At the end of the day, the grass is always going to be greener somewhere else. But, I'd say my grass is pretty dang green...and I'll take it.