Don't judge.

I may or may not be having a complete breakdown. I just looked at the calendar and realized exactly how long we're going to be apart in September. I just balled. And I'm still balling.

So I've always known that a month is a long time...heck it took the month before we were married to go by FOREVER!!! But I was talking to my mom and talking about when we wanted to get all our stuff moved up to Provo and looking for apartments and such. I went to go take a look at the calendar and figure out when I would want to go, and I just died. I don't know if I'm strong enough for this. I don't know if I can keep myself together long enough to say goodbye for a little while through the whole first month of school.

My mom's right, I'll be fine. It's going to suck, but I'll be fine. I'm sure there's going to be many nights that I just fall asleep crying at night from the lack of a warm body next to me or someone to put their arms around me when I've had a bad dream, but I don't know how many of those nights there will be. I'm sure that there's going to be plenty of times that I call my sister and have her come spend the night just so I won't be alone.

I so so badly just want to be able to be okay with this, to buck up and grow a thicker skin, maybe lose a tear duct or two, but I just can't. I know how much better this will make things with Dan staying to work an extra month, but I guess when you know how much someone means to you and how much closer it's getting to you having to be apart from each other, it makes you realize even more how much you love them.

Just the other day, I was just giving Dan a hug and it just hit me how much I do love him. I really didn't think I could feel for someone this much. It's crazy how much more in love with him I am now than the day we got married. Not that I didn't love him then, but just how much it's grown. I was talking to my good friend Jaynee and she just told me to remember how much I love him now, and see how much it grows in the next month. She's so right.

Anyway, the tears have subsided for the time being so I'm going to hopefully get a few things done around the house, maybe watch a movie, look for scholarships (which if anyone has any tips on where to find good scholarships, let me know!! BYU isn't cheap! haha), and potential apartments. Oh and make dinner for my husband when he gets home!

In church on Sunday, the talk in Relief Society was "Why are LDS women incredible?" The teacher asked us to write down on a little piece of paper why we were incredible, not as a collective group of women, but as an individual.

WHY AM I INCREDIBLE?

I have a hard time answering these types of questions, mostly because I feel like I'm bragging about myself or something...so I still haven't written anything down.

So I am asking you: Why are YOU incredible?