Gratitude

Tuesday: Basketball night. Leftovers for dinner.

I hate waking up with swollen eyes. It's almost like you can't have a fresh start the next day  because the evidence it still across your face. I feel so drained. And it's almost a pain in the butt trying to find something to keep me in a good mood. I'm not in a bad mood by any means, but I'm just kind of melancholy. I could really go for some ice cream right now. Bahaha I'm such a girl.

One way to change that attitude is to think about what I'm grateful for and the blessings I've been given.

Number 1 (and not necessarily the most important): Momma. She is so amazing. I am so blessed to have the most amazing mom in the entire world and I'm so lucky to be able to call her when I'm sad or when I'm happy or just to talk to her and have entirely meaningless conversations. I don't know what I would do without her. She's one of my best friends. I've always appreciated that she's been my mom first and foremost before she's my friend. She's amazing. The life she's lived and made is amazing. I will be forever grateful that she got to be my mother and that I've been so privileged to have her in my life.

Number 2: Good friends. Yesterday was just a down day. It was all I could do to keep  myself from just breaking down every 5 minutes. I got a text from a friend that's here in Austin with us and she just helped me to see that I am strong enough, that I can do this, and that I'm not alone in anything. It's always a good feeling to know that someone is out there and someone's thinking about you. I'm grateful for a good friend that was able to help me smile yesterday and realize a lot of things about myself that are hard to see in the midst of a trial or a struggle. Thank you Kristi.

Number 3: Dan. He's my best friend in this entire world. When he came home yesterday, I had kept myself together pretty well by then. Pandora was playing country songs and the song that was playing was called "I Do" and he grabbed me and pulled me close and just danced with me in the kitchen. I lost it. I just cried and cried and cried. Like practically hysterical crying. I don't think I've ever cried that much in front of him. It's funny, I kept trying to do other things and get my mind focused on other things, but he wouldn't let me. He just  held me and I just cried. I finally told him just how scared I am about being there by myself for the first month of school and just all of that. But at the same time, I told him that I'll be okay. My sister will be there, Jami will be there, and so will all my mom's family. I'm gonna be fine.

He knows me so well though...how much I try to put on a tough face and hide behind it. And I love that he knows that. I love him. I'm so glad I married him. Even today, I just continue to realize how much I need him each and every day, how he just completes me. Sorry to sound like such a sap, but really it's true.

Anyway, time to head out and get a couple of things done. Feeling better and happier already. This gratitude thing....it really works.