Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Deutschland

About a month ago, I left the precious American soil for the Fatherland.
It was awesome, stressful, and very worthwhile.
We went with Dan's parents, which I was initially a little apprehensive about.
I mean, traveling with anyone other than your spouse (and even them sometimes) can be emotionally taxing.
However, it ended up being a good thing...thank goodness!

This trip has been probably 4 months in the making.
We had talked about it so much that I honestly thought it wouldn't happen.
Jami and I talked about it to death.
It was like beating a dead horse.
So many flight options, and figure out dates to leave...I honestly had decided I didn't want to go.
It was way too much of a headache, and it's a lot of cash money to fly across the pond.
At one point, I told Dan he could just go and I would stay home.
He did not like that option one bit.

Then one day, his parents called and told us they bought the tickets and we were leaving this date at this time from this airport.
Well okay then...I guess this is actually happening.

Getting packed and ready for the trip was a nightmare.
Making sure we had the right converter for our appliances (which ended up singing my hair...more on that later), getting travel size shampoo, all the toiletries, etc.
This was significantly more stressful because it's not like I could just run to the corner Walgreens if we forgot something.
Talk about stress.

The day finally came that we were loading up and driving to Arizona.
We were flying out of Sky Harbor, plus leaving Ruby with my parents while we were gone.
When my Dad dropped us of at the airport, I may have started completely panicking.
It took a lot out of me to not run after the car as my Dad drove away.
And I may or may not have teared up in the airport before we even checked in with the airlines.

We got through security and all that fun stuff and got on the plane.
I still wasn't super stressed because this flight was going to Georgia.
And here's a happy selfie for you...because I really was pretty excited to leap across the pond.

On the flight to Georgia, I started reading a book which definitely helped pass the time.
I also watched the sunlight slowly disappear.

Jami had told us to bring our own water bottles because water is not free in Europe.
So we packed our good Contigo bottles.
Dan wanted a drink after take off, and I had completely forgotten about the pressure change.
So when he opened his bottle, water shot across the plane two rows up and hit some people.
It was the funniest/most embarrassing thing.
Thankfully, the people weren't mad, but it was hilarious!

We landed in Atlanta, and had to quickly make our way across the airport, take the right shuttle and make our connecting flight to Amsterdam.
Getting on that flight proved a little more difficult.
At this point, I decided I would rather pay the extra $30 for an international plan for Dan's phone than be caught without it in an foreign country.
Thank goodness for that!
We quickly added that on, and then off we flew to Amsterdam.

The KLM flight was pretty good, as far as long flights are concerned.
I had an endless selection of movies to watch, and they had a map where you could look and see where we were during the flight.
That was actually pretty cool to watch us fly up the Atlantic coast and then cross the ocean over to Ireland.
All the instructions were given in Dutch and then English.
That was a little...interesting.

And let's just go right into the food.
If I never see airplane food again, it will be too soon.
It was not bad at all.
Actually as far as airplane food goes, it was pretty good.
But man does that stuff just make you feel sick to your stomach!
Thankfully, we were hungry enough that we just ate it, but it was rough a few hours later.

When we finally hit daylight again, we were flying over Ireland and then England.
I was so excited just to see land, but it was also beautiful to see the countryside from the air.


Next we saw England from the air.
It's all very exciting, but really seeing land after only seeing vast expanse of ocean is quite exciting.
And please excuse the dirty airplane windows.
This is the closest I've ever been to Europe, and I was pretty excited.


Then we flew into Amsterdam.
Side note: the original flight plans we looked at included an 8 hour layover in Amsterdam.
I had great plans to go to the Van Gogh museum (he's seriously my favorite), and the Anne Frank house.
Sadly, for this trip we only had a 4 hour layover, which was not worth the hassle to try to venture out and come back through customs.
So here is Amsterdam from the air, and that will have to be enough for now.

As I mentioned above, we had a 4 hour layover in Amsterdam.
We had to go through customs at the airport.
That was a little different.
The customs agent had the most scrutinizing look on his face.
It was a little intimidating to say the least.
But I got a stamp on my passport!!

We got to our gate and waited the long four hours, fighting sleep in the middle of the airport.
Well, some of us were fighting sleep.

We finally got on our plane to Nuremberg, which was thankfully only an hour flight.
On that flight, the snacks were HORRIBLE.
Seriously horrible.
But I did get to sit in the emergency exit row, next to Dan.
So that was nice.
And we also saw a road (it seemed like a small highway) that went under the river!

When we arrived in Nuremberg, we got all our luggage and went outside to get on the U-bahn U2 train to connect with the Haupfbahnhof (which is the main train system in Germany).
That was a struggle.
We could not figure out the silly machine to buy the tickets.
Thankfully, a super nice man and his wife helped us get the tickets, and stayed with us until we got into Nuremberg.
Then they helped us get our tickets to get from Nuremberg to Vilseck.

We sat at the Nuremberg train station for an hour because we had barely missed the first train that goes to Vilseck.
So naturally we took a selfie.

This is the "I'm so bloody tired and desperately want to sleep and go home to America" face.
Pretty convincing, yes?

So we waited for the second train to come.
And we almost missed it.
Jami had told me that the trains run on time, to the minute.
Well, there was 2 trains in the station at the same time, only we didn't realize that.
Thankfully, the conductor must have seen our confused faces and helped us out.
That would have seriously sucked to miss that train.
By the end of the week, I was an expert at the train! (As long as I had the schedule.)

I was so stressed at this point.
Everyone was speaking German around me, and German is not pretty.
It sounds horrible actually, and super threatening.
Not to mention being in a foreign country, but add the language on top of it.
I also started to get sick on the train.

I usually do pretty well not getting motion sickness, but it was dark so I couldn't focus on anything except the swaying of the train.
It was all I could do to not throw up.
After an hour train ride, we made it to Vilseck.
Jami was waiting for us.
I've never been so excited to see a familiar face!

She drove us to our hotel, and I seriously thought I was going to get lost trying to find anything in the town.
Thankfully, we would come to find out that Vilseck is pretty small and fairly easy to walk around and find your way.

The hotel was so cute, and the staff was incredibly nice!
We ate some goulash and a dinner roll, and it might have been the best meal I had ever had.
We hauled all our luggage up three flights of stairs to our room.
Jami gave us a few tips (like the doors automatically lock, so always have your key; and the windows can swing open or tip open from the top, which is a brilliant idea!) and then said goodbye.
She would pick Dan and I up in the morning to take us to the train station to go to Rothenburg.

We unpacked, and I totally freaked out.
I was balling in the bathroom for a good five minutes.
I instantly missed America, my home, and my family.
I just wanted to go back.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who was patient with me during my minor panic from culture shock.
I just needed sleep.
It was only a week.
6 short days and I would be heading back home, probably wishing we could stay longer.
I could do it.

Plus, with this cute guy by my side, I can do anything.

Day 2: Rothenburg ob der Tauber

Thursday, February 26, 2015

NCLEX

First things first: I could NEVER ever ever EVER have done this without these two.

The devil takes physical form in a test known as the NCLEX.
Those five innocent letters put together equal the most terrifying and horrific test to culminate my nursing career.
Let's preface this by saying I am the world's greatest procrastinator.
If there was a medal for it, I would win.
Not even kidding.

I had a great plan for passing said test.
I gave myself a two week break after school (Christmas break and all).
We were traveling to AZ for a few days over New Years anyway, so I figured it was a good time to take a break.
Then, we totaled our car driving to AZ.
Another story for another day.

When we got back from our adventure, I had every intention of studying!
The thing is, I seriously could not make myself care for the life of me.
To add insult to injury, I was already working full time and trying to adjust to life post-graduation.
Honestly, I was probably a little depressed.
It's a hard transition going from having a million things to do all the time to just working and studying for this heinous test.

I had to wait for my authorization to test, and that wouldn't happen until after my degree had been posted.
Degree posted on January 6.
I got online and filled out the application with DOPL.
I drove up one morning in the week following the degree posting to get my fingerprints done.
One of the nastiest mornings to drive all the way up to SLC.
All the rain made for an interesting drive up.
I turned in my application, got my fingerprints done, and paid the $100 application fee.
I was told it could take up to a week before getting my authorization to test.

Drove back and went to work.
I set up my account with Pearson View as well.
That was a little nerve-racking.
Then my ATT came in through my email.
Two days after submitting my application.
I died.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was the real deal.
I had 30 days to take my exam (by February 13).

Somehow, I mustered the courage to sign up for my exam.
I initially set it up for 2.2.15, which was a Monday.
After thinking about it more, I changed it to that Thursday, 2.5.15.

Paying the $200 to Pearson View and hitting submit nearly killed me.
Everyone at work was laughing at me.
I was pretty determined not to let anyone know when I was taking my test.
I don't think I could have handled it if I didn't pass and everyone was asking me about it.
The only people that knew besides my family were Amanda, Brenna, and Laura, the other nurses I work with.
I think I finally caved and told Dr. Garry and Scott, with strict instructions that they were not allowed to ask about the test the day after.
Thankfully, they listened.

I was okay at doing practice questions.
Okay I was horrible at it.
If I did one chapter a day, I was feeling pretty good!
Nothing that I felt would be enough to pass, but I was trying.

I remembered Renea telling us to study, pray, and then get a blessing.
I also had a thought to go to the temple.
I have been absolutely horrible about making the time to go this last year.
I've had every excuse in the book, and it's really pathetic that I'm surrounded by temples but can't make the time to go.
Well, we made the time to go.
And Satan put in overtime to make sure that didn't happen.

We went about two weeks before my test, and it took everything in me to get through the front doors.
It felt like I was pushing through a sea of something and everything was pulling me back.
Spiritually, I was fighting to get through those doors.
It was incredible the instant relief I felt as soon as I crossed that threshold.
It brought me to tears right there in the lobby of the temple.
I felt so lost and in such dire need of help that it was everything I could do to keep it together.
I remember telling Dan how afraid I was that I wouldn't pass.
I wasn't studying enough.
I knew that.
But I also knew that I was smart.
I could do this.

The next weekend, the weekend before my exam, we also went to the temple.
It was in this experience I had the feeling of calm and peace come over me.
It wasn't exactly comforting.
It was a peace that whatever happens, it will all be okay.
Not exactly reassuring, but it was all I had.

The week of the test, I didn't do a single question.
I did look at Renea's lecture notes and test taking strategies.
Those were INSANELY helpful!

The morning of my test, I got a blessing from my wonderful husband.
I don't remember much of what was said.
The only thing that sticks out about it was one phrase.
"Let your faith be greater than your fear"

I recalled this phrase many times throughout the rest of Thursday morning.
I headed out the door, put the address in my GPS.
It said it would take me an hour to get there!
I totally started freaking out.
I could not for the life of me figure out why it would take an hour to get to Draper.
I remembered that phrase again.
I turned on my location, and that time was cut in half.
I would make it just in time for the test at 8am.
Faith greater than fear.

My stomach ended up with a lead weight in it at some point on that drive.
Walking in to the building, I felt like I was signing my life away.
It was all on the line.
Right here.
Right now.
The culmination of my entire education reduced to one test.

As I was checking in, the guy asked me how I was doing.
"Okay."
It was honest.
I wasn't good, or great, or even remotely happy for that matter.
This all just needed to be over and done with so I didn't have to think about it.

I was escorted back to my cubicle to take my test.
I turned off the question counter.
I did not want to know where I was at.
I also didn't want to start freaking out if the test didn't shut off after 75 questions.
At this point, I just had to have faith that my education had prepared me.
That I was ready for this test.
That Heavenly Father would pull through for me.

The last time I checked the question counter was question #67.
I answered the question in front of me and had a thought that I would check where I was at after this  questions.
I answered it, clicked next, and my test shut off.
I totally jumped in my seat.
My heart sank in my chest.
It was over.
I had no idea how many questions I had answered.
I raised my hand and the proctor came and got me from my seat.
I signed out and left.
It was over.
All that stress for an hour and a half test.

I drove home, met Dan for late breakfast at Ihop, and decided that I should probably go to work.
I didn't want to be bored at home.
Dan had class.
Might as well go to work and make some money.

Amanda started checking that night to see if I had passed my NCLEX.
She would check DOPL to see if my license had been posted.
Scott started checking too.
I was determined not to look until Monday at least.

The weekend came and went.
Monday morning, I checked DOPL right when I woke up (5am).
License status: ACTIVE.
I shot straight up out of bed and kept saying "I passed! I passed!"

A few weeks later, I got my license in the mail.
It's pretty legit.
And now, I can officially say I'm a nurse.
Arielle, RN.
Hell yes.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Christmas 2014

This year was an all-out boycott against Christmas.
Really, I've never felt more like a Scrooge in my entire life.
It was all for good reason you see.
We're making a trip in March to see my most favoritest nephew ever get baptized.

After much discussion and deliberation (flights ain't cheap!), we decided to forego Christmas this year.
We didn't even put up the tree.
This part was pretty unfortunate in retrospect.
I think it would have felt a lot more like Christmas had the tree been up.
But I just didn't trust that this little lady would leave the tree alone.
The absolute LAST thing I wanted to deal with was a destroyed Christmas tree among other things.

Also, starting a new job + finishing school doesn't lend itself well to preparing for Christmas.
Honestly, it was a minor miracle that I even sent out Christmas cards.
Trying to figure out what to get Dan just about sent me over the edge.
All these things combined led to the decision to boycott Christmas this year.
At least the presents aspect of it.

It was one of the most low-key and relaxed Christmases I have ever had, and probably will ever have in my life.
Aside from wishing I had put the tree up, I don't regret for a second the decision to boycott presents.
There was no stress as far as trying to get presents for Dan.
No anxiety the night before over said presents.
I was actually able to sleep the night before.
Minor miracle.

The only real stress was sending out Christmas cards, and Christmas goodies.
And making sure I didn't forget anyone.
In case I forgot you:
Merry Christmas!

This year for our neighbors Dan wanted to make homemade peach jam and Hawaiian sweet bread.
Since Dan was working like a fiend right before Christmas (all those good sales on cars are difficult to pass up!), it was left up to me to make the bread.
I have never made this bread before in my life.
Dan's dad makes it perfectly!
Needless to say, I had a pretty high standard to live up to.
Thankfully, everything turned out just fine.
Total bragging, but I received several compliments on that bread.

My sister had her baby two days before Christmas, so my family was here.
We went to my grandparents, opened a few family presents, and just relaxed.

The low "key-ness" actually gave me an opportunity to reflect on the most important things at Christmas.
Family. Faith. Friends.
The presents are nice.
The tree is nice.
But it's not important.
I looked at my little nativity sitting in the window many many times through December.
I actually never took it down from last year.
It helped me remember that Christmas is about Christ, and the ones we love most.
I count myself blessed to have my little Ruby and my sweet Dan to hold each night.


Friday, December 26, 2014

Night Shift Diaries: Final Installment

I finished my final capstone shift a few weeks ago at UVRMC. I must say, it was a little more difficult than I thought it would be to finish. 
I've grown so much through this experience, and discovered that what I am really capable of. 
I've learned to be fiercely independent in caring for my patients. 
I've also learned that it's perfectly okay to ask for help. 
I have learned that having a good group of people that you work with can make any night pretty fantastic, despite the patient load or the "crankiness" of those patients. 
I built friendships and relationships that I hope to keep for quite some time. 
I found that I secretly (or not so secretly) love working night shift.

A few highlights from my last night shift as a nursing student:
-Addictions
Myles is an addict going through withdrawal.
Actually, he's an addict to students who do all his work.
On my last shift, he mentioned it was good that he had worked the day before too, because then he could go through withdrawal and get one last hit before I was really done.
He was complaining that he was going through withdrawal and actually had to do his own work.
Of course, he was kidding.
But it made me feel pretty good to know I had actually been helpful and not a drag.
Since finishing, I have visited a few times. 
Each time, Myles reminds me that he misses my help.
We've decided we make an excellent team and could handle anything.

-Laughing
The 6th floor is a great place to laugh about balls and weenies.
Meat balls, that is.
And the little sausage weenies in barbecue sauce.
Generally, the 6th floor is a great place to laugh hysterically about anything.

-Polygamy
We had a polygamist patient on the floor.
Myles said he might ask me to be his wife.
I replied that IF he asked me that, I would punch him in the balls.

-Excellent work ethic
On my last shift, Myles and I split up the work to divide and conquer.
I complimented (very sarcastically) his excellent work ethic.
He helped get all of our stuff done before I left.
His reasoning: he has to get used to doing all his own work again.

-Homemade brownies
I seriously would bring brownies at least every other week.
It's nice to have a little treat to help you make it through the evening.
Everyone loves them.
It's nothing crazy. Just a fudge brownie and a dark chocolate brownie mixed together.
Myles was eating one of said brownies.
Then he made a smart ass comment to Mycami, and started choking.
We couldn't help but laugh.
That's what you get.

-Your mom jokes.
Traci came into the break room while we were eating lunch and had to share the following two jokes.
Admittedly, they were stupid.
And that's why it was so funny.
Joke #1: Your mom's so dumb she bought tickets to Xbox live.
Joke #2: Your mom's so ugly she went to a One direction concert and they ran the other direction.

-Last highlight of the evening: I started an IV on Myles!
Success. I've still got it.

Guess it wasn't too painful after all.

And so ends my night shift career (for now) on the 6th floor at UVRMC.
It's been real.
And I really loved each moment of it.
How could you not with so many awesome people to work with?
I can't wait to go back.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Night Shift Diaries: Installment 2

This morning I finished my first 3 in a row.
Let's just say I slept from 7 till 3 today after I got home.
It was totally wicked.

I finally feel like I'm getting it.
The confidence thing is getting better and better.
I can do an assessment and chart it without much difficulty.
I took 3 patients on my own this week, and then helped with the other patients as well.
I actually feel like I'm making progress and one day I'll actually be able to take 6 patients. 
It's a great feeling.

I got home on Tuesday morning and threw my scrubs in the washer.
I took a nap, switched the wash, and got ready for work.
I went to work, and then came home to get ready for clinical.
HUGE problem: my white scrub top was dirty.
AFTER being washed.
The sleeves have a weird grey hue to them and the whole shirt has weird spots on it.
What gives!

So instead of getting the brownies finished, I had to leave early to go buy a new scrub top.
Sucked. I had to bring brownies because Myles and I lost a bet.
You see on Monday night, we were watching Love it or List it while eating lunch.
We bet with Bruce (the pct) that they would love the house. He thought they would list it.
Loser brought dessert. 
Myles and I lost. They listed the house.

Anyway, so I left the brownies at home.
Dan so sweetly and lovingly brought them to me at the hospital around 9.
It was so nice to see him for a few minutes.
We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like because I'm doing nights. 
It's all in the little things for us these days.
And the brownies were a huge hit!

The second highlight of the evening was not a pretty one.
I have smelled some pretty awful things in the last 3 years of nursing school.
Truly.

I know everyone who works in health care has inadvertently smelled some pretty terrible things.
But never have I ever actually started to heave because of a smell.
I've come close, but have always been able to pull myself together and soldier on.
Last night, it happened.

I started gagging and heaving at a smell.
Myles had warned me about it, but I figured it's just like the other smells.
You just don't breathe through your nose and really just don't breathe at all if you can help it.
It didn't work.

Oh heavenly days I was so glad that no one could see me and that any inflection in my voice didn't change.

I walked right back out, with a good excuse of needing to get some clorox wipes.
It was the strangest feeling!
My eyes were watering and I could feel my blood pressure dropping.
Seriously, I've never actually almost thrown up because of a smell.
Now I can check that off the bucket list. 

Thankfully after 5 min or so of pulling myself together, I walked right back in and finished the task.
No gagging or heaving.

I know this is totally disgusting, but it's these little gems that I want to remember.
Stinky smells are not gems per say, but it's an impactful memory for me. 
One that reminds me that I can do anything when I have the drive and motivation to get it done.

Another gem that I forgot to blog about:
A week or so ago, we had a patient that had CBI.
Unfortunately, the catheter kept clotting off so we would have to slam in 60mL of saline to try to break up the clots.
If the catheter is not super securely held, the force of pushing in the saline will pop the syringe right off.
I was helping Myles and when he started to push in the saline, I got sprayed.
No joke.
With bloody, urine saline.
Disgusting.
But seriously hilarious.
Myles felt so bad, but it was super funny.
Especially now.

Anyway, there's the funnies for the last few weeks.
On a bright note, I am more than halfway done with my clinical shifts!
10 down. 8 to go!!

Friday, October 10, 2014

Night Shift Diaries: Installment 1

I worked at the hospital last night. 
It was epic. For several reasons. 
Let's start from the top.

Myles was charging, so I had to be there an hour earlier than the usual 6pm.
Normal 5 o'clock traffic getting off the freeway in Provo.
I switch lanes because the left turn lane is 3 blocks away.
I notice that everyone in front of me is slowing down.
Expected. 5 o'clock traffic. 
Then it's a sudden stop.

I could've crapped a brick. I was not expecting it. 
Thankfully, I had space to stop without totally slamming on the brakes. 
Then the dead stop doesn't start to move again. 
For 1 minute. 2 minutes. 3 minutes.
In my head, I'm thinking what the heck is going on?!

I started looking around and that's when I saw a guy writhing in pain on the road. 
Motorcycle sideways on the street. 
My heart completely sank. 
In that moment, I was reassured that neither my husband nor my children will ever own a motorcycle. 

We then continued to sit there for 10 more minutes or so. 
The police show up. Then the ambulance and the fire truck. 
Thankfully, the guy looked okay because he was moving around some, and he had a helmet on.
The next few minutes were interesting. 
I had to reverse my car a block to get around the accident.
It was an experience I hope never to do again. 

I stopped by Dan's work to quickly say hello and goodbye.
You see, I was already late. 
I was supposed to be on the floor at the hospital as I pulled into Dan's work.
I had to stop though. 
I wouldn't see him for the next 12 hours and even then, only for a few precious moments before he would have to leave for work.
Working nights kind of sucks a lot in that respect.
But it's okay. We make the time in those little moments.

When I got back into the car to leave, it wouldn't start.
Seriously. WTF.
Guess what? I pulled in so fast that I didn't shift the car into park.
In fact, it was stuck in reverse.
*Palm to face.*
Dan came to the rescue and all was well.

Finally made it to the hospital 15 minutes late. Not the end of the world. 
The shift was awesome.
Actually, a little on the slow side.
But it turned out to be brilliant.
Probably the best shift I've ever had in terms of morale.

Tracey, Myles and  I all got the giggles around 330 and we were doomed since then.
I'm sure most of it was the tired and too much caffeine.
But it was hilarious.
So much in fact Myles and I would go into fits of giggles for the rest of the shift.
I had to leave the charge nurse report because I couldn't stop laughing.
I tried to compose myself and come back in.
I opened the door and looked at Myles and immediately started right in laughing again.

The best part about it all, it was the kind of laughing that makes your stomach hurt.
And then you start crying because you just can't help yourself.
It was fantastic.

Now, to get some sleep and then go for round 2 tonight.
Bring it on.
I'm making brownies and we may be teaching Myles how to twerk.
Stay tuned.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Proud wife moment

I have to brag about my sweet husband for a moment. 
And I won't apologize for it because I'm his wife and it's my job to brag about him and be proud of him.


Today, Dan had the day off. 
We desperately needed grocery. 
Bare cupboards.  Practically empty fridge and freezer. 
You know the type.
So my sweet husband wanted to go grocery shopping with me.

We hit up Costco and then Walmart. 
As we're standing in line to check out, there's an older lady in front of us. She's a little slow at loading her groceries onto the check out stand. Totally fine. I'm not in a rush or anything.
My sweet husband offered to help her out. 

I was so proud at that moment to remember that this is the man I married. 
He's the one I get to spend the rest of my life and eternity with.
And then I was a little embarrassed that I've never offered to help anyone like that.
She was so sweet and thanked him profusely as he was helping and then again as she left.
My heart swelled in my chest.

There's also a lady standing behind us with two young boys. She's struggling with the both of them. And one is throwing a small tantrum.
Probably nap time.
Seriously I commend her for even venturing out with two kids. 
I don't know if I could do that.

Dan turns to her and asks if he could help her load her groceries on the check out stand.
Again, I felt so proud and happy and then ashamed that I had never done the same for anyone.

She thanked him. 
We left. 

I made the comment that I bet he'd just made their day with a small act of service.

I'm so blessed to have him as my partner and companion.
I'm so grateful that my children will have him as their father.
I'm so grateful he's the type of person who is always thinking of others. 
I hope our children will pick up that attribute from him. 
I hope one day to be half as awesome as he is. 
Thankfully, I get to learn from him each day.
And tomorrow, I get to try again.
I am the luckiest.