Beginning to understand...this sucks

So I think I'm finally beginning to realize after almost 5 months of dating why it is that M bugs Dan so much. I honestly for the longest time had a pretty big problem with it because I just didn't understand why he couldn't just take my word for it that I wanted to be with him and not M and that that is never going to change. And it hit me like a freaking wall of bricks yesterday. It's just like peach. UGH I hate realization moments sometimes. They really suck a big one.

It's that uncertainty, that need to know that no matter what it's always going to be you that they want at the end of the day. I don't know why I can't let it go. I mean peach doesn't talk to him and sure as hell is not about to say one word to me at all--which quite frankly pisses me off because let's not even try and pretend that we don't have a history but let's instead play the silent treatment game. I really would much rather be pleasant to each other, say hello and smile and acknowledge each other's existence and that we do know each other. Instead it's this awkward strain every time I see peach or am in the same room. Freak, today at church I was walking down the hall with Dan and just the sight made my stomach turn in knots. I know he loves me and would never leave me but it's just hard ya know? I honestly never thought I'd be this bothered by peach being out of my life...but peach is still in it!! I see peach at least twice a week on a regular basis...thank you for being in my class. FML. Okay not that dramatic, but you get it. I know it's ridiculous, trust me I do. Abbie reminds me of that. And I know I have the best thing ever out of the whole situation, but it's one of those things that doesn't really bug you till you have one of those days, ya know?

I really can't wait to be in Utah...actually Texas. That will be SO AWESOME! End of story.

Aside from peach, my friend (and I use friend pretty loosely...we're more acquaintances) just got engaged and it keeps popping up in my news feed!! I'm honestly getting irritated seeing it and sometimes I can't help but feel that mines never gonna happen. I know we're supposed to be together and we're going to Texas together, but it's just feels so far away sometimes. It's happening. I know it is...but the anticipation is killing me! The little stinker doesn't tell me anything anymore, which I'm all for a surprise but sometimes a ball park idea of when would be awesome. But it's alright...good things come to those who wait. :]

Geez...reading back at this, I sound super hostile. This midol is sure not helping with the moodiness...oh heck it's not even moodiness, I just want to be with him. It's pathetic. But its all I want to do all the time, just to be with him running errands and doing whatever.

On a brighter note, it snowed for a little bit today in T-town. It was terribly exciting, so much so that we all stood outside and took pictures in it. You know you live in Arizona when you brave the elements to take pictures in the snow/hail outside your apartment.

Words to live by: If you trust God enough to listen for His message in every sermon, song and prayer...you will find it. And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed to find that He has come to trust you. --Henry B. Eyring