Well I've been afraid of changing

"...cause I've built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too."

Alright that doesn't really have anything to do with my blog post. Actually it has nothing to do with it, it was just the song that was playing when I started writing this...or rather thinking up what to write. As of late, I've been terrible about blogging. But lets look at the facts: 1. I'm not cute and married. 2. I don't have kids to tell funny stories about. and 3. Well life has been pretty entertaining lately, but I just don't have the time to sit down and write it all. (I'll probably wish I had one day...oh well).

So last night Dan and I were just talking about his brother and we don't really talk about it too much. I'm not uncomfortable asking him about it, but it makes me so sad because I think of  my little brother (crap I'm crying already and I haven't even typed that much! Ahh I really hate being a girl sometimes) and just how much that would impact my life, how much I love that little man and how I have always looked forward to seeing him get the priesthood in a few years and then go on mission a few years after that and then getting married one day. I've always been excited to have one more sister!

Back on topic: the thought crossed my mind about being on the flip side of that situation and having that happen to your best friend or husband. I don't really know a whole lot about the situation and I've never met Dan's sister in law, but I just started crying last night. Its funny how the thought of losing someone makes you realize how much you can't live without them. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. Yeah he's a pain in the butt sometimes and knows just how to push my buttons, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. The little stinker made me fall in love with him!

I was thinking about lots of people that I know and how much so many of them have had to deal with in their lives and not to compare my life and my trials with theirs, but for comparison's sake, my life has been relatively easy, which makes me absolutely terrified for what is ahead. I look at those people that have had to deal with a lot more than maybe they probably deserved, but they have come out on top, and they are some of the strongest people I know. I envy that strength just a little bit, in that they have it and could probably conquer the world with it if they wanted. I hope this is making sense, because it sounds pretty good in my head but might not be coming out so well.

I was reading my patriarchal blessing a few nights ago and it mentions that I've been blessed for the family I've been put into, and thinking about it just now makes me realize how truly blessed I am. I've never questioned whether or not I was loved, I've always known that my parents love each other (even though my sisters and I scream and yell THATS GROSS when they kiss each other). I've been truly and richly blessed in my life with perfect examples of hard work and love and making a marriage and a family work. My family is not perfect by any means, and I'm sure we could give some people and run for their money with how much we fight sometimes, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't doubt that we would kill for each other.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect in our lives, and there are always going to be trials. Life is never going to be easy, but it will always be worth it. I don't want to live a day without my best friend, but if that is what is asked of me one day, I hope that I can face fire and keep on fighting. I hope that I can always live worthy to go to the temple and feel the peace that it has to offer. I am so grateful for the blessings I've been given in the best roommates, especially Abbie. We get a long pretty dang good and I'm so glad that she wanted to live with me! She is so strong and is a perfect example of taking it each day at a time: some days you slip and other days you're on top of the world.

Anyway, that is all. Now that I'm looking at it, this starts off super depressing. Woops! Not what I meant to do at all. But at least it's out there and off my chest for a little while.

Off to the gym! Tootles :]

Some food for thought. Swish it around in your mouth and think about it:
"In the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."