The struggle bus

This week has been less than ideal...and it's only Tuesday. Let's just say for arguments sake that three tests in one week does not have the most promising and uplifting of outlooks. Too say it's quite daunting is the understatement of the year.

But all the same, this too shall pass. Because last time I checked, three tests in 6 days does not equate to the world ending. Before I know  it, Saturday will be here, and this hellish week will be a distant memory.
Unfortunately, not too distant.
The reality is, after this week, I have another test next week, and another one the week after.
At least those I will have some legitimate time to study for.

Yesterday (Monday) was a long day. Monday's are always long days. I'm at school from 8 am till 7 pm, but I'm over that much of it. Yesterday was an exceptionally long day. I didn't sleep all that well the night before, and I knew how much stress this week was holding in it's grimy little hands waiting to unleash upon me. I braved the day, much like I always do, and went to lab. This is where it starts to roll down hill.

We had to give all our shots again. No big. The time constraint...that was big. I had to prepare all the oral meds, calculate four doses, prepare and administer four shots in about 30-45 minutes. Now to all the experienced nurses out there, this is cake, child's play. But to the itty bitty little stressed out nursing student, this is slightly short of hell. Anyway, it came and went and was over, thank goodness. Only it wasn't. I'd forgotten to give one shot, so I hurried and grabbed the supplies, drew up the dosage and gave the shot. Fatal mistake.

I failed epically in that last 30 seconds before giving the injection. I pretty much committed a cardinal sin of nursing. I didn't check the expiration date on the vial. It was expired. In August. Fail fail fail.

Okay, so it wasn't fatal, but it's was pretty ridiculous. Thankfully it was only 0.9% sodium chloride in sterile saline, but still. It's the entire principle of the matter.

Here comes the kicker: we didn't even realize it was expired until 3 hours later. Thankfully (for embarrassment's sake) I wasn't the only one who'd administered the expired meds. Unfortunately, this called for an incident report--this pretty little pink paper that asks you what happened/who was hurt/what can be done to correct it in the future...blah blah blah. You get it.

Filled it out, turned it in. No harm done, except maybe to my bruised ego. It was just the culmination of everything and it turned Monday into one of those days where I really just can't wait to go home and be done with it all. Struggling. Seriously struggling. I need a break. STAT. Even if it's just a 3 day weekend. Something.

Today, I was hopeful, if only slightly so. I went to school, preparing full well for the stats test I have to take tonight (I'm determined to get all A's and pay no late fees on any tests this semester) and guess what gets brought up in class...the expired vials. I shouldn't be so sensitive because it wasn't just me who made the mistake, and if anything it was to help everyone else realize how easy mistakes are made and that we need to be more careful, blah blah blah. But it sucks, knowing that one of those people they're talking about it  you. It makes you feel like you have a sign across your forehead that says Hey it's me! I'm the one they're talking about! I'm the one who forgot to check the expiration date! It's an awkward feeling, and not one that I enjoy.

Thankfully, my instructor is THE BEST and after talking to her after class, she really reassured me that it's perfectly okay, and that all the incident report is is a formality IN CASE something happens, which hopefully it won't. Rough way to learn how to fill one of those baby's out.

Anyway, it's only Tuesday, and midday at that, and I'm riding the struggle bus...hard. Knocking stuff down left and right. Hopefully after this test is over, I'll feel a little less out of control and all over the place, but it's not likely.

Bahhh...when do I graduate again?!