Why Sunday's are my favorite...and then some

(Preface...I wrote this ohhh 2 weeks-ish ago, and said nursing test that will be discussed later, well I have another one coming up. Oh the irony. This one I predict will go much better).

Not only do I get to spend the ENTIRE day with my wonderful wonderful husband, but it’s also the day that I get to be at Church, and feel the love of my Heavenly Father as I learn and grow more and more in the gospel. I know I can (and should) be doing this every day, but Sunday is just that day that’s set aside specifically for this one purpose. And that’s just one of the many reasons I love love Sundays.

But in order to understand this love a little bit better, we need to rewind to Saturday.

Saturday was the last day to take my nursing test. Yes I am a procrastinator. Always have been, and I’m pretty sure I always will, though I do have the resolve just about every week that I will do better (and for the most part this semester that’s worked out pretty well…except for this test). So I took Dan to work Saturday morning, and came home to study. I studied studied studied my little brain out, and I felt like I was doing okay. Then I realized that the study guide that had been handed out only had half the material on it. First “crap.”

I found the rest of the study guide online, downloaded it, and then proceeded to finish studying. I go to pick Dan up from work at 1 and had a little inkling to check the testing center line conditions (I had heard that on Thursday the lines were out the door and the wait was an hour to get in). Since the testing center closes at 4 on Saturdays, that means the last test is handed out at 3. So I wanted to be there around 2 just to be on the safe side. I checked the line conditions on my phone, and low and behold, it was packed! Second “crap.”

I panicked. Completely and utterly panicked. I hadn’t finished looking through all the material and hadn’t even really hit the important stuff. I rushed home with Dan in tow, burst through the front door, gathered up all the pages I’d been studying, printed off the study guide I’d been working on, and ran back out the door. I was in tears. It was a little ridiculous, but I honestly and truly felt like I was about to legitimately fail a test for the first time in my life. I had made a goal to get all A’s on my tests this semester, and so far I’d done just that: New Testament, Statistics, and this Nursing test was going to ruin it all. (This part was like the overwhelming “crap” going on in my head. Don’t judge, I have high standards for myself.)

We booked it to school, Dan dropped me off, and I was still in tears because I knew there was no way this one was happening. I didn’t deserve it on any account to do well on this test, and I sure as heck did not deserve to even ASK for the help I DEFINITELY DID NOT deserve. I get to the testing center, and just catch out of the corner of my eye a glimpse of the line: it was out the door. Third “crap.” (Though this one might have gone through my head more colorfully).

This time I kept the tears in, after all I didn’t want to fail a test and be completely embarrassed on campus all in the same day. A girl’s gotta keep a little dignity with her. So I’m standing in line, which surprisingly moved fairly quickly, and looking through all the powerpoint slides, frantically trying to remember all the things I’ve learned the last few weeks. I offered up a silent, pleading prayer, fully acknowledging that I had not prepared enough and that I knew I didn’t deserve any help on this one, but asking just the same. I had done all the reading (really, ALL the readings), all the homework, paid attention in class, and I just prayed that that would be enough, to just help me remember THAT stuff. I had another thought, to read my scriptures.

I came across this little gem: 2 Nephi 11:7

“For if there be no Christ, there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time.”

I’m a firm believer that He hears me, that He knows exactly who I am, and that He completely understands why I do the things I do. I’m also a firm believer that He knows exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. I’ve read this scripture before, and it hit me then much like it did on Saturday. Only this time, when I read that, it was almost like I felt Him tell me It’s okay, I can make up the difference, I know you’re not perfect, and you were never meant to be in this life. All I ask is that you try and consecrate your life to me. (In a lot more simpler feelings that words cannot quite express).

The test went great, in fact better than I could have hoped. I knew everything on the test except maybe 5 questions, and of those 5 I still felt moderately comfortable with the information. I turned it in, called Dan, and then decided to check my score. I was secretly in my heart of hearts hoping for an A (even if it was a 90, it’s still an A), all the while knowing that if I had gotten a B I would have been overjoyed! It loaded, and I almost broke down in tears right there. I had only missed 3 questions, and gotten a 93.6%.

You know those moments when you don’t even know where to begin to express how grateful you are for all the blessings in your life (especially the ones you see immediately) and “thank you” just never seems adequate, but it’s the only thing you can say?

This was one of those.

I jumped (practically) into Dan’s arms when I saw him, and I think he was honestly more excited than I was about this. Before I walked in to take the test, he had text me this: I CAN DO THIS! I AM SMART! I HAVE FAITH! I AM HAPPY! (these were each repeated 3x). I breathed a sigh of relief and it was all I could do to keep from crying (it was an emotional day) and smiling and laughing all at the same time. And then I told Dan crap! Now this means I have to keep the A’s on tests up! Haha go figure I was looking to let myself out of that goal!

Then Sunday came, remember it’s my favorite day of the week, and Dan was teaching Sunday School and had us look up this scripture: 3 Nephi 1:12-14

“And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him saying:

Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.

Behold I come unto my own, to fulfill all things which I have made known unto the children of me from the foundation of the world, and to do the will, both of the Father and of the Son—of the Father because of me, and of the Son because of my flesh. And behold, the time is at hand, and this night shall the sign be given.”

So it’s talking about the sign of Christ’s birth that would be seen in the America’s, but the bolded part was really the message he was looking to grasp from this. I think the background information is important though. Anyway, it was just another one of those that I felt was directed to me personally (though I’m sure many people felt that way too).

Dan had these words written on the chalkboard: OPPOSITIONàPOSITIONàPOSITIVE

It looked something like this after he was done explaining everything:

OPPOSITIONàPOSITIONàPOSITIVE

The underlying message was that we should be positive when we face our trials and to never back down.

Take home message: be positive through your opposition. You don't have to like it, but be happy through it. If there's anything I have learned throughout my life (geez it sounds like I've lived forever) it's that my Heavenly Father knows me. He loves me. He is aware of me. Time and time again I'm reminded of that, and it always makes me cry...but a happy cry. A grateful cry. It's a goal of mine to personally try to be happy. All the time. Even if I have to fake it for a bit till I really believe it.

Anddd...since this was originally written 2 weeks ago...test update: I have gotten A's on all my tests, except 1 (and that one was a B)! (I have a theory on that...more to come later.)