Welcome to Limbo! Please stay awhile

I pride myself on the fact that Dan and I are really synced, especially when it comes to the big decisions. Literally, everything. We can talk about the options and lay it all out, then decide what is going to be best for us, usually after some combination of fasting, prayer, or temple worship. So you can imagine my dismay when we are presented with another option that we originally were not even considering...and that new option starts to look a lot more tantalizing and enticing. It's really frustrating and distracting to say the least.

The most frustrating is that I don't even know what to do. Every time I look and think maybe this one is the best decision for us, it's like the other side raises a huge sign and says But wait!! I can give you THIS instead of that! Literally it's been like this for the last week almost. It's extremely distracting and it really is just clouding every single thought that comes into my head. The only relief I've really found (ironically enough) was in the one place where I constantly have to be thinking on my feet--clinical.

Something about the OR yesterday was just enough relief for me...possibly the brilliance of surgeons and their craft to be able to put broken things back together, or quite possibly the lack of oxygen to my brain from rebreathing all my own CO2 blow off from wearing a mask all day long. Whatever it was, there was just enough going to keep me interested and occupied, but also relaxed. I think it gave me the break I so desperately needed from my own head to just focus on what is right in front of me: surgery.

Dan and I keep talking about the different options and what each one offers us and where we'd be at the end of it if things work out for us. Secretly, I think we've both chosen and option but we're still waiting and discussing. I hope today we'll finally be able to put it to rest, but then again, maybe the Big Man has something for us to learn from this struggle. Either way, we're going to this lovely place today to find some answers, and more than anything, some peace.

Dan has found a bunch of amazing quotes the last few days and has them around our house. One in particular that I want to leave with you is this one:

Anyone can give up. It is the easiest thing in the world to do! But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's TRUE STRENGTH.    -Unknown.