Saturday, February 16, 2013

No judgment

Fellow blogger friends, I have this big dilemma. One that has plagued me my entire life. Literally. I've struggled with it for as long as I can remember, and about 2 years ago I felt like I had finally gotten it under control and felt confident. Well...it's bad. I honestly don't know how it happened...well I do, but you know what I mean...and I'm desperate. I just want it to all be gone again like before, but I know that only happens with hard work and commitment. So I'm asking for help! And someone to be accountable to. I can't be accountable to Dan--he won't be hard on me because he loves me too much and doesn't want to hurt me.
Weight. The scale. The extra pounds. I need them gone. I don't even feel comfortable in my own skin these days. I just feel fat and frumpy and I feel bad that Dan has to come home to this. I want to feel attractive! And at least comfortable wearing my clothes! I refuse to buy bigger clothes because that's like giving in and not making a change. I need to make a change.

I weigh almost just as much as I did in high school...and that really makes me sad because I hate looking at high school pictures! I can see all the weight in my face and it just makes me sick! So I'm making a request, a plea of desperation if you will. I heard this great idea from my friend Cami that she and her sister race to 2 miles to see who can do it the fastest. I like competitions, they motivate me. But not the kind that are who can lose the most weight in x amount of time. I like very tangible, very real motivation and goals that are right there in front of me. So I'm going to try this for the next few weeks till Abbie's wedding: race to 2 miles. I'm going to post my time every day (except Sundays) for 2 miles and it's not really for anyone else, but since this is public, I think it will kick my butt a little bit more knowing I have to post it!

The second part of this is diet. They say losing weight is 70% diet, so I really really would love some dieting tips! I'm not into doing "diets" per say (ie. Atkins, South beach), but I'd rather just continue to eat well-balanced meals (still watching what I'm eating) and portion sizes! But honestly, at this point I'm up for anything! Any ideas would be much appreciated!!!

And finally...once a week, I will weigh in...probably Saturday mornings, and regretfully I will post those too. Seriously, I don't need any more judgments so please if you have something nasty to say, just keep it to yourself.

Week 1, Day 1: 170.1

"I hated every minute of training, but I said Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." -Muhammad Ali

2 comments:

  1. Girl,
    We are in the same boat! When I was getting ready for the wedding I didn't have, I would just eat healthy -- and seriously the pounds FELL off. And then after I called it off, I would run because it was a stress-reliever/release. I would seriously run 2miles/day -- and eat normally (well, being careful but not crazy). I lost weight really without even noticing it. I went back to BYU-Idaho to visit and EVVVERYONE kept commenting on how "skinny" I was -- but my point is this:Just watch what you eat and run a couple miles a day! Don't think too much about it or else you'll stress and end up binge eating. I fall into that trap all the time. If you just do it without thinking too much or stressing to much -- it will happen!
    Good luck! You're an inspiration! :)

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  2. I am having the same problem, i think it is nursing school, but you cant exactly quit that. I love the competition thing, i may try it out, although that makes me a bit nervous cause i can barely walk a mile right now. A tip i have been told is to eat small portions through out the day. So 3 meals, still not eating too much obviously and then 2-3 snacks a day. But they have to be healthy. You can do it!! It stinks when you dont feel good about yourself and nothing fits, seriously I am totally in the same boat, it is the most depressing thing. So I will try with you!! Good luck!!!

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