Night Shift Diaries: Final Installment

I finished my final capstone shift a few weeks ago at UVRMC. I must say, it was a little more difficult than I thought it would be to finish. 

I've grown so much through this experience, and discovered that what I am really capable of. 

I've learned to be fiercely independent in caring for my patients. 

I've also learned that it's perfectly okay to ask for help. 

I have learned that having a good group of people that you work with can make any night pretty fantastic, despite the patient load or the "crankiness" of those patients. 

I built friendships and relationships that I hope to keep for quite some time. 

I found that I secretly (or not so secretly) love working night shift.

A few highlights from my last night shift as a nursing student:

-Addictions

Myles is an addict going through withdrawal.

Actually, he's an addict to students who do all his work.

On my last shift, he mentioned it was good that he had worked the day before too, because then he could go through withdrawal and get one last hit before I was really done.

He was complaining that he was going through withdrawal and actually had to do his own work.

Of course, he was kidding.

But it made me feel pretty good to know I had actually been helpful and not a drag.

Since finishing, I have visited a few times. 

Each time, Myles reminds me that he misses my help.

We've decided we make an excellent team and could handle anything.

-Laughing

The 6th floor is a great place to laugh about balls and weenies.

Meat balls, that is.

And the little sausage weenies in barbecue sauce.

Generally, the 6th floor is a great place to laugh hysterically about anything.

-Polygamy

We had a polygamist patient on the floor.

Myles said he might ask me to be his wife.

I replied that IF he asked me that, I would punch him in the balls.

-Excellent work ethic

On my last shift, Myles and I split up the work to divide and conquer.

I complimented (very sarcastically) his excellent work ethic.

He helped get all of our stuff done before I left.

His reasoning: he has to get used to doing all his own work again.

-Homemade brownies

I seriously would bring brownies at least every other week.

It's nice to have a little treat to help you make it through the evening.

Everyone loves them.

It's nothing crazy. Just a fudge brownie and a dark chocolate brownie mixed together.

Myles was eating one of said brownies.

Then he made a smart ass comment to Mycami, and started choking.

We couldn't help but laugh.

That's what you get.

-Your mom jokes.

Traci came into the break room while we were eating lunch and had to share the following two jokes.

Admittedly, they were stupid.

And that's why it was so funny.

Joke #1: Your mom's so dumb she bought tickets to Xbox live.

Joke #2: Your mom's so ugly she went to a One direction concert and they ran the other direction.

-Last highlight of the evening: I started an IV on Myles!

Success. I've still got it.

Guess it wasn't too painful after all.

And so ends my night shift career (for now) on the 6th floor at UVRMC.

It's been real.

And I really loved each moment of it.

How could you not with so many awesome people to work with?

I can't wait to go back.

Night Shift Diaries: Installment 2

This morning I finished my first 3 in a row.

Let's just say I slept from 7 till 3 today after I got home.

It was totally wicked.

I finally feel like I'm getting it.

The confidence thing is getting better and better.

I can do an assessment and chart it without much difficulty.

I took 3 patients on my own this week, and then helped with the other patients as well.

I actually feel like I'm making progress and one day I'll actually be able to take 6 patients. 

It's a great feeling.

I got home on Tuesday morning and threw my scrubs in the washer.

I took a nap, switched the wash, and got ready for work.

I went to work, and then came home to get ready for clinical.

HUGE problem: my white scrub top was dirty.

AFTER being washed.

The sleeves have a weird grey hue to them and the whole shirt has weird spots on it.

What gives!

So instead of getting the brownies finished, I had to leave early to go buy a new scrub top.

Sucked. I had to bring brownies because Myles and I lost a bet.

You see on Monday night, we were watching Love it or List it while eating lunch.

We bet with Bruce (the pct) that they would love the house. He thought they would list it.

Loser brought dessert. 

Myles and I lost. They listed the house.

Anyway, so I left the brownies at home.

Dan so sweetly and lovingly brought them to me at the hospital around 9.

It was so nice to see him for a few minutes.

We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like because I'm doing nights. 

It's all in the little things for us these days.

And the brownies were a huge hit!

The second highlight of the evening was not a pretty one.

I have smelled some pretty awful things in the last 3 years of nursing school.

Truly.

I know everyone who works in health care has inadvertently smelled some pretty terrible things.

But never have I ever actually started to heave because of a smell.

I've come close, but have always been able to pull myself together and soldier on.

Last night, it happened.

I started gagging and heaving at a smell.

Myles had warned me about it, but I figured it's just like the other smells.

You just don't breathe through your nose and really just don't breathe at all if you can help it.

It didn't work.

Oh heavenly days I was so glad that no one could see me and that any inflection in my voice didn't change.

I walked right back out, with a good excuse of needing to get some clorox wipes.

It was the strangest feeling!

My eyes were watering and I could feel my blood pressure dropping.

Seriously, I've never actually almost thrown up because of a smell.

Now I can check that off the bucket list. 

Thankfully after 5 min or so of pulling myself together, I walked right back in and finished the task.

No gagging or heaving.

I know this is totally disgusting, but it's these little gems that I want to remember.

Stinky smells are not gems per say, but it's an impactful memory for me. 

One that reminds me that I can do anything when I have the drive and motivation to get it done.

Another gem that I forgot to blog about:

A week or so ago, we had a patient that had CBI.

Unfortunately, the catheter kept clotting off so we would have to slam in 60mL of saline to try to break up the clots.

If the catheter is not super securely held, the force of pushing in the saline will pop the syringe right off.

I was helping Myles and when he started to push in the saline, I got sprayed.

No joke.

With bloody, urine saline.

Disgusting.

But seriously hilarious.

Myles felt so bad, but it was super funny.

Especially now.

Anyway, there's the funnies for the last few weeks.

On a bright note, I am more than halfway done with my clinical shifts!

10 down. 8 to go!!

Night Shift Diaries: Installment 1

I worked at the hospital last night. 

It was epic. For several reasons. 

Let's start from the top.

Myles was charging, so I had to be there an hour earlier than the usual 6pm.

Normal 5 o'clock traffic getting off the freeway in Provo.

I switch lanes because the left turn lane is 3 blocks away.

I notice that everyone in front of me is slowing down.

Expected. 5 o'clock traffic. 

Then it's a sudden stop.

I could've crapped a brick. I was not expecting it. 

Thankfully, I had space to stop without totally slamming on the brakes. 

Then the dead stop doesn't start to move again. 

For 1 minute. 2 minutes. 3 minutes.

In my head, I'm thinking what the heck is going on?!

I started looking around and that's when I saw a guy writhing in pain on the road. 

Motorcycle sideways on the street. 

My heart completely sank. 

In that moment, I was reassured that neither my husband nor my children will ever own a motorcycle. 

We then continued to sit there for 10 more minutes or so. 

The police show up. Then the ambulance and the fire truck. 

Thankfully, the guy looked okay because he was moving around some, and he had a helmet on.

The next few minutes were interesting. 

I had to reverse my car a block to get around the accident.

It was an experience I hope never to do again. 

I stopped by Dan's work to quickly say hello and goodbye.

You see, I was already late. 

I was supposed to be on the floor at the hospital as I pulled into Dan's work.

I had to stop though. 

I wouldn't see him for the next 12 hours and even then, only for a few precious moments before he would have to leave for work.

Working nights kind of sucks a lot in that respect.

But it's okay. We make the time in those little moments.

When I got back into the car to leave, it wouldn't start.

Seriously. WTF.

Guess what? I pulled in so fast that I didn't shift the car into park.

In fact, it was stuck in reverse.

*Palm to face.*

Dan came to the rescue and all was well.

Finally made it to the hospital 15 minutes late. Not the end of the world. 

The shift was awesome.

Actually, a little on the slow side.

But it turned out to be brilliant.

Probably the best shift I've ever had in terms of morale.

Tracey, Myles and  I all got the giggles around 330 and we were doomed since then.

I'm sure most of it was the tired and too much caffeine.

But it was hilarious.

So much in fact Myles and I would go into fits of giggles for the rest of the shift.

I had to leave the charge nurse report because I couldn't stop laughing.

I tried to compose myself and come back in.

I opened the door and looked at Myles and immediately started right in laughing again.

The best part about it all, it was the kind of laughing that makes your stomach hurt.

And then you start crying because you just can't help yourself.

It was fantastic.

Now, to get some sleep and then go for round 2 tonight.

Bring it on.

I'm making brownies and we may be teaching Myles how to twerk.

Stay tuned.

Proud wife moment

I have to brag about my sweet husband for a moment. 

And I won't apologize for it because I'm his wife and it's my job to brag about him and be proud of him.

Today, Dan had the day off. 

We desperately needed grocery. 

Bare cupboards.  Practically empty fridge and freezer. 

You know the type.

So my sweet husband wanted to go grocery shopping with me.

We hit up Costco and then Walmart. 

As we're standing in line to check out, there's an older lady in front of us. She's a little slow at loading her groceries onto the check out stand. Totally fine. I'm not in a rush or anything.

My sweet husband offered to help her out. 

I was so proud at that moment to remember that this is the man I married. 

He's the one I get to spend the rest of my life and eternity with.

And then I was a little embarrassed that I've never offered to help anyone like that.

She was so sweet and thanked him profusely as he was helping and then again as she left.

My heart swelled in my chest.

There's also a lady standing behind us with two young boys. She's struggling with the both of them. And one is throwing a small tantrum.

Probably nap time.

Seriously I commend her for even venturing out with two kids. 

I don't know if I could do that.

Dan turns to her and asks if he could help her load her groceries on the check out stand.

Again, I felt so proud and happy and then ashamed that I had never done the same for anyone.

She thanked him. 

We left. 

I made the comment that I bet he'd just made their day with a small act of service.

I'm so blessed to have him as my partner and companion.

I'm so grateful that my children will have him as their father.

I'm so grateful he's the type of person who is always thinking of others. 

I hope our children will pick up that attribute from him. 

I hope one day to be half as awesome as he is. 

Thankfully, I get to learn from him each day.

And tomorrow, I get to try again.

I am the luckiest.

Destruction at it's finest

Lately, Miss Ruby has taken to being a destructive little crap face. 

And I say crap face with the utmost love for her. 

But really. Dan sent me this picture last night while I was working at the hospital.

Yeah. She tore open the couch. 

To what end, I'll never know nor will I understand. 

She baffles me when she acts out.

She really never destroys anything. Not even when she was teething. 

And now, at almost 5 months old, she's taken to being destructive. 

Go team.

Thankfully 98% of the time, she's cute and snuggly like this.

Oh Ruby girl. 

You slay me sometimes. 

Here's to much more frequent and longer walks to get out this excess puppy energy. 

Night life

I did my first night shift on Friday. 

Holy cow it was exciting/nerve racking/interesting/fulfilling/exhausting.

Did you catch all that? 

I'm very proud to say that I survived and with only minimal caffeine. 

But we'll get to that part. 

I was supposed to work on Friday, but I had told Scott that I wouldn't be in because it was my first shift and all that jazz. I had planned to run a few errands in the morning, take half a benadryl around 11, sleep till 3, and then get ready to go. 

First shift and all, I wanted to be prepared and ready to go. 

As all well-laid plans go, it went straight to hell.

Not even kidding. 

I got guilted into coming into work, and what was supposed to be only an hour to help with charts turned into 2.5 hours and lunch to Masa (which if you've never been, GO!! Right now. Delicious.).

After finally getting home, I started getting ready and suddenly was completely dreading going to clinical. 

It's that awful pit feeling in your stomach.

I get it every semester before the first clinical. 

This was no different. 

Except no preassessment on my patient.

And it's night shift. 

NBD.

I stopped by Dan's work on the way to clinical, said hello, I love you, all that cute gushy stuff that married people say to each other. Reminded him of a few things I needed him to do when he got home, and I was off. 

Walking into the hospital, I had a minor moment of panic. You see there are 2 sets of elevators at UVRMC: the west elevators and the east elevators, the latter being the ones I needed to take. However, I didn't know the east elevators existed. 

I've only been on the west elevators to see a friend who had a baby.

Those elevators only go up to the 4th floor.

I needed to get up to the 6th floor. 

In my minor moment of panic, I decided to keep walking around the corner hoping and praying that another set of elevators would appear. 

Lo and behold, there they were. In all their shiny chrome glory. 

My preceptor is awesome. Hands down he's pretty legit. 

His name is Myles and I'd say we're in for a rocking semester. 

It's always nice when within 5 minutes of meeting someone you can joke around and be laughing. 

We had a great night. Fairly uneventful. New admit, and an adventure down to radiology. 

Did I mention I didn't get a nap at all on Friday? 

Well, I paid for that dearly between the hours of 1 and 3 am. 

Nodding off, my body practically begging for some sleep.

My preceptor even told me I could go take a quick nap. 

To which I definitely declined.

Seriously, never forgetting that again. The nap, I mean.  

I had a great and glorious plan to forego the caffeine. 

As I mentioned above, like most greatly laid plans, that went straight to hell. 

I finally caved around 245 and found the nearest vending machine. 

Surprisingly, I sipped it very slowly. Not really sure why, but it helped. 

I didn't get this huge jolt/rush of caffeine to my system. So, while I did wake up, I didn't crash 2 hours later, which was a huge blessing.

I just knew if I could make it to 4 am I would be totally fine. 

The rest of the evening whisked right on by, and before I knew it, we were giving report to the oncoming nurse. And when I say we, I mean Myles.

Let's be honest: first shift, the only thing I was super comfortable with besides head to toe assessments was hanging IVs. 

Got that in the bag. 

I learned a few great tips from Myles in the first shift: 

1. Chart as you go. That way it never gets put off and you don't have to remember what you did. 

2. Be a real human being with the patient's. 

I know that last one sounds pretty obvious, but it was really refreshing to see someone actually implement it. Sometimes, and I'm definitely guilty of it, nurses get too busy and too caught up in what they need to get done, that they don't take a minute to just sit with the family and talk to them. It was great to see that put into action and how well it works. 

And because we could all use a good duck face at 630 am after being awake for 23 hours....

One shift down, 17 to go. 

Oh brother. 

Meet Miss Ruby

We became a family of three on 6.14.14. 

We added this sweet girl to our family. 

Meet Miss Ruby. 

Since I have been absolutely horrendous about blogging, we're playing catch up. Fair warning: I take wayyy too many pictures of Ruby and I'm sure a fair amount will end up on this post.

 She's my fur child. Enough said. 

We always peruse ksl looking at the cute doggies and puppies that are for sale. Dan and I both grew up with dogs and we knew it was only a matter of time before we got a dog of our own. 

Obviously, we didn't plan on getting a dog before we bought a house or had a bigger yard, but we would look anyway. It's like looking at pictures of houses you know you can never buy, or afford at this point. But you look anyway. Dreaming makes all the struggles of being poor and newly married worth it. 

On this particular day, we came across a picture of a 6 week old "redbone pitbull." Disclaimer: Dan and I have talked about, on several occasions, getting a pitbull. All those rescue videos always bring me to tears and they are such sweet loyal dogs, and fantastic with kids. I had never heard of a redbone pitbull though. So we googled it and got results for both redbone hounds and pitbulls. After much deduction and deliberation *sarcasm* we realized she was a mix. 

Dan called the lady who was selling her to find out the info: why she was getting rid of her, etc. It boiled down to the simple fact that Ruby was 6 weeks old and just required a lot of attention that the lady did not have to give Ruby. 

Side note: we're not allowed to have pets at our apartment. Our awesome upstairs neighbors though encouraged us to call and ask anyway. We had lived here for a while, and not to brag, but we're pretty good tenants. Bottom line: it couldn't hurt to ask, right?

A very nerve wracking conversation (our landlords are fantastic, I just really didn't want the answer to be "no"), and an hour or so wait to hear back from them, they said we could get a dog!! I grinned from ear to ear, and jumped up and down while laughing and telling Dan to call the lady and tell her we would come get Ruby. It really was absolutely insane and completely impulsive.

On the drive out to get her, we stopped and got a little bed and a collar. We got a size small, and it was so stinking tiny that Dan and I both questioned whether or not it would be too small for her. We also quickly ran through everything to make sure we would be able to afford having a dog. We threw around some names as well. Dan came up with Ruby, because she has a red/brown coat and he wanted her to have a girly name. 

When we finally got to the house, Ruby came outside and ran across the side walk. My heart melted in that very instant and I'm pretty sure it was love. She was the cutest little puppy I had every seen in my entire life. We went straight over to PetsMart after to pick up some food and grab some puppy toys for her. I carried her on my forearm through the store. *This detail is important to me because now when I carry her anywhere it's extremely difficult. She's too heavy. 

That first night was super rough. We didn't have a kennel yet, but she slept in her bed. She cried a lot and we ended up leaving the light on for a while so she could see we were there. I didn't hardly sleep at all because I kept waking up each time she would move. I've never been a light sleeper, so this was a huge adjustment for me. Whenever we would leave the house, we had to barricade her in the kitchen and used one baby gate for each door. Within a month, she learned how to climb over that gate. 

Potty training took about a week to get down--a lot of repetition and potty breaks in the middle of the night. I was so excited when she finally was waking up only once to pee. She had been sleeping in her kennel, and then we moved her into a XL size kennel. All the advice books said to keep the kennels small  because it prevents them from peeing in their bed. Well, we didn't do that, and she didn't have problems with peeing. But she kept waking up and crying/barking in the middle of the night. 

Then she started sleeping in our bed. It didn't bother us at all, and she stopped waking up in the middle of the night to pee almost immediately. There she has stayed until very recently. For the last few days, she has started falling asleep in her kennel. I leave the door open and she stays there. Sometime in the middle of the night, she usually ends up in our bed, but I'm definitely okay with that. She's quite the little snuggle bug and I really love it. 

Right now she is teething. It's actually been fine except when we will randomly find blood on some of her toys. We've only found 1 tooth so far, and it was a really small one! 

She is almost 4 months old and weighs almost 40lbs. See what I mean, she's way too big to be carrying around, although we still do try. She is almost the size all my dogs were growing up. So from here on out, her size will be a totally new experience for me! We were told she would be about 50lbs full grown. Obviously that was wrong considering she is almost that big now. 75lbs is probably more accurate.  

At 11 weeks, she weight 22.4 lbs. Three weeks later, she was a little over 30lbs. We have already been to the vet because she threw up 5x in one night. Turns out puppies are not supposed to have bones to chew on unless they are really good and cooked. One expensive vet bill and obsessively waiting for her to poop and pass rocks, we came to the conclusion that her little tummy was just upset from the richness of the bone. 

She is learning and growing so fast and Dan and I have loved each and every minute of it. She loves going on walks and playing tug of war. We have fetch down fairly well, but releasing the object is something we're still working on. She points and loves to watch the birds. Dan can't wait to teach her to go hunting with him. She still has her moments, and tantrums. As I type, she's curled up in my lap. She still thinks she is that tiny little puppy who couldn't even jump up on the couch. 

I came home one day to find her walking on top of our table. I told Dan I would never have believed she could do it unless I saw it with my own eyes. The other day I actually caught her in the act and of course had to snap a picture. She also loves sleeping on top of the couch cushions. All the time. 

She has been such a blessing to us, and I don't know how we ever got along without her. She has taught me so much about being patient and reminded me how much love animals have. I love her fiercely wagging tail whenever either Dan or I get home. She is so genuinely excited to see us, I'm sure she'd lick our face off if we let her. We love you Ruby girl!!

LAST first day of school

Well ladies and gents, it actually happened. I have finally started my VERY LAST semester of nursing school EVER!!!!! <-- If you can't tell how I feel about it, take a look at all those exclamation points. I'm excited to say the least. 

As first days go, it was fine. Boring. Overwhelming. And almost a somber feeling. This is the last first day of school I will have until I get super crazy and go back for a masters degree. This is the last first day I will have with this amazing group of people I have been so privileged to embark on this journey with. But it was also a very happy feeling. We are nearly there. We did it. We survived MedSurg. And then we all survived ICU despite those awful quizzes. The homestretch is here...finally. 

I can honestly say though, I thoroughly enjoyed every last drop of summer. I did not do a single NCLEX prep question, or worry about any assignments. That was pure bliss. 

I will be doing my capstone rotation on the 6th floor at UVRMC. Night shift. It should be fun. I'm a little worried about staying awake at night, but I'm sure it will be fine. Just an adjustment. Dan is a little sad about having to sleep alone, but Ruby will totally snuggle up to him! He'll be just fine. 

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear." 

Capstone: prepare to be demolished. 

Xxo, me.

California dreamin

Last weekend, we high-tailed it straight outta Provo and headed for warmer weather, and sunny shores. The drive was boring to say to least. We had no idea we were even in California until we came over the Sierra Nevadas. Really, we thought we had been driving through Nevada forever because it was so ugly. Then we came down the mountains into this gorgeous valley. Seriously, so green and lush and just beautiful. I could live in California just for that view, except for the fact that the gas prices are ridiculous ($4.30/gallon??) and the earthquakes, and the traffic. All are kind of deal breakers unfortunately, because I am so so in love with the beach.

Back on track. We stayed at Nicole's parent's home the first night and their home is nestled right up into the mountain. So freaking gorgeous. There are no words, it really is beautiful up there. We slept in the next day, or what felt like sleeping in. California is an hour behind us, so really it was probably a normal time to get up. We had planned to go to Newport Beach and then go by the temple. Nicole's dad (who is a hilarious guy by the way, always cracking jokes) suggested we go to the LA temple and then down to Santa Monica pier instead, much closer than Newport.

So we drove down to Santa Monica, and finally found the temple. It kind of rises out at you from the middle of the city. Such a gorgeous site. It sits up on a hill, and has all these green plants and beautiful flowers around the temple. And it's huge. It's funny, we walked into the visitor's center (Dan had to pee) and everyone commented about how big this temple it--something about it being the largest temple by square footage.

We walked around the temple for a few minutes. There was such a lovely breeze and the weather was perfect!! I could not have hand picked a more perfect day to be around the temple and down at the beach.

We drove down to the beach, and that traffic through downtown Santa Monica heading towards the promenade and the pier was ridiculous. Honestly, it was probably nothing compared to how bad it normally is/could be (it was Good Friday, so everyone had the day off from work). But we made it down to the beach!!

I could hardly contain my happiness when we got to the beach. There's something about the beach. It just brings peace to my soul and happiness to my heart. There is no place I'd rather be than sitting on the beach, breathing in that salty air, and letting the breeze hit my face.

We just laid on the beach for probably two hours, just enjoying the time together and relaxing. We walked down to the pier and ended up eating at Bubba Gump's!! It was so yummy, and Dan has never looked so happy to eat seafood.

 

This guy was standing still like a statue!! It was absolutely crazy. I really just sat there watching him for probably 5 minutes!

This is the ferris wheel (obviously...) on the Santa Monica Pier. Now, I took this shot because I've been watching Private Practice lately, and they always have shots of the Santa Monica Pier and this ferris wheel. It always makes me giggle to myself when I watch it now because I can say that I've been there!! Woot woot!

We went back to hang out with Trent and Nicole that evening, and got some fro-yo and sushi. It was so so much fun hanging out with them. I really can't wait for them to get back from their honeymoon and back to Provo so we can have more couple friends. It's been so great through this whole thing seeing Trent so happy. Dan says it all the time that Trent is back! This is the real Trent, his happy goofy self, and Nicole totally and completely compliments him with their goofiness. It's adorable.

The next day, we had a few hours to kill before Trent and Nicole's wedding. So we went to get pedicures!!! I love love love my husband. Seriously, he is the greatest and I just love him for so many reasons. One of the newest reasons is he went to get a pedicure with me! (I really hope he doesn't kill me for posting this.) Unfortunately, we didn't get a picture together. Should've known that the weekend before Easter would be packed with mamas getting their toesies done. So it was either wait for an hour or just sit one chair a part. So we texted the entire time. We had places to go after so we couldn't wait forever!

After, we went to Pieology. It's a yummy Chipotle-type restaurant for pizza that's only in California. Dan's coworker told him about the restaurant, so we drove to Azusa to try it. Oh my gosh it was TO DIE FOR!! Dan got the Hawaiian pizza, and I got the Buffalo chicken pizza. It's on thin crust, so you don't get too full from the crust, and they cook it in a brick oven. So so so yummy. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. I actually want to drive back to CA just for the pizza.

We went back and started getting ready for the wedding. We were both just so so happy for Trent, and Nicole. It was so great to see them both so happy and in love with each other. I told Dan I wanted to get married again just to be that focused on each other and that moment and being so so happy, just like we were the day we got married.

 

The ceremony was beautiful. Nicole was beaming and they both couldn't stop smiling. Not that I blame them--being married is the best thing ever. We took pictures in between ceremony and reception, and Dan and Trent were taking a few pictures together. They both stuck out their butts, and Nicole and I happened to be right there so we started laughing! I can't wait to see how those pictures turned out. The reception was beautiful. One of the most beautiful church buildings I've ever seen. The cultural hall had exposed beams and gorgeous stained glass. The ceiling was lowered with beautiful fabric and Chinese lanterns, and ugh it was just so beautifully decorated!!!

The father of the groom and father of the bride made speeches, both beautiful tributes to Trent and Nicole. Then the best man was asked to give a speech. This caught Dan totally off guard and Trent wanted it that way. For the life of me, I can't remember what he said, but it was a great message to Trent and Nicole and great tribute to the long and wonderful friendship that Dan and Trent have been blessed to share.

We went to see Captain America 2 that night, and the seats were recliner chairs!! Super legit, but it definitely made me sleepy.

We left the next morning, very begrudgingly. We had done so well at not talking about school or anything else we needed to do once we got back to Provo. The drive back was fine, but it always seems like the last stretch from St. George to Provo takes FOR-EH-VER (*insert Sandlot reference here). But we made it back, very uneventfully I might add.

"Nothing soothes the soul like a walk on the beach."

The wrong side of the bed

Today has just been a day. One of those days. Where it just starts off all kinds of wrong right from the second you open your eyes. Those days.

I could not for the life of me fall asleep last night. Literally was awake staring at the ceiling for an hour. Then it just was not a restful sleep. I feel like I woke up without ever really getting any sleep. Strike 1.

I woke up late, and didn't have time to put on make up or do something with my hair or anything like that. I was just going to the dentist, so really no big deal. But sometimes I really would just like to get ready a little bit and feel better about myself. Strike 2.

I went to the dentist and the usual hygienist isn't there. Sad day, but no big deal. I really like my hygienist. She's awesome. Anyway, the "fill-in/substitute" hygienist was pleasant, nice, but not really the same at all. She basically pointed out everything I'm doing "wrong" in taking care of my teeth.
-I need an electric toothbrush
-I brush too hard and it's causing receding gums
-I have demineralization and need to change my toothpaste to one with fluoride and calcium (Thanks, it's been there for a while...not getting any worse)
-I need to floss every day (Don't we all...)
The list goes on...

Now let me get this out: I'm one of those people that loves the dentist. Weird I know, but I really do love that feeling of having my teeth all clean and no cavities. Well, unfortunately, I left feeling anything but happy that I went to the dentist this morning. Strike 3.


To make the rest of a long day short, I had to take ATI. I got a level 2 which on any other day I would be super happy about. For those who don't know, level 2 is likely to exceed NCLEX standards--so why not be happy about that right? For the life of me, I was ticked about it. So dumb. Strike 4.

Then I tried to go to the gym with Dan. I get through 2 different exercises and I just start bawling. Left the gym. Didn't even work up a sweat. Strike 5.

Drive home. Pissed I didn't get in any kind of a work out. Bawled even more in the car. Full on sobbing. It is really just ridiculous. Strike 6.

I've struck out like a million times today. The only thing I got right today, in my own head, was to love this wonderful man of mine. Through thick and thin, bad and good, he loves me just the same, perhaps even more. I don't even know how I got so lucky, but I did. And thank goodness for him.

He's such a fixer, and today it was super helpful. We're going to try something new with the gym thing. Monday Wednesday Friday hitting the gym in the morning. Here's to turning over a new leaf and trying something new. I have high hopes for this working, because somethings gotta give.

And here's to tomorrow being a better day than today.

In which we compare 300 to our day

About 3 weeks ago, Dan and I were watching the movie 300. If you haven't seen it, do it. Really. I loved it. I've seen it before but I found myself drawing so many parallels to this life and this time. For those who haven't seen it, brief recap:

Sparta, King Leonidas. The Persian army is conquering and Xerxes wants Sparta to surrender. Leonidas won't have it, because Spartans don't surrender. They win or die in battle. That's it. So they go to war with the Persians and put up quite the fight. Eventually they are defeated, but every single one of the Spartans dies fighting.

Disclaimer: I'm in no way trying to idealize this movie or anything like that, but I really felt a profound epiphany after watching the movie.

King Leonidas is a fantastic and wise leader. He reminds me a lot of the leaders we have today, especially in the Church. They're so wise and so desperately want what is best for us and to help preserve us and our life.

The Persian army and Xerxes are like all the temptations and less than pleasant things in this world. It's an all out assault on our very lives to compromise the things we believe in and hold most precious to us. It's the attack on the family, and the attack on our moral values and principles. It's the fact that this world, while wonderful and so so beautiful, can be so dark and so evil. It's all of that.

I also noticed how valiant and dedicated to the cause the Spartan army was. It was victory or death, no surrender. That was it. Sometimes, I feel like in my own life I too often compromise and allow myself to surrender or fall short instead of following through with my goals. There are definitely things I don't compromise on, but for the most part I feel like I sell myself short and don't push myself to my full potential. I haven't "burned my ships" yet.

So these were my thoughts going into Church the following Sunday. It was out of the manual, lesson #5 Faith and Repentance. I came across this quote in the lesson and sent it to Dan. It seemed just too perfect to pass up because it so perfectly described how I was making the comparisons between 300 and the gospel.

"It is our duty to look after each other, to protect each other...to stand together with a united front against the sins of the world."

To bring this around so that it kind of wraps it up, I want to be more like the Spartans, with such conviction for my cause that it's victory or death, no surrender. It sounds extreme, but you have to stand for something in this life, and even if no one else agrees with you, that's okay. Stand for SOMETHING. Anything. Have some fire and be unstoppable.

The perfect week

Last week after church, Dan came home super excited about something that the teacher had challenged his class to do. The challenge was to have a "perfect" week: saying prayers together in the morning and the evening, and reading scriptures together every day.

I initially felt pretty daunted at the task. We're pretty good at reading scriptures together, but saying prayers together, especially in the morning, has never been a strong point for us. We try though, and at the end of the day that's all that can really be asked of us right?

Anyway, we decided to try it out and figured if we failed, then at least we tried and could try again. The first few days went great! We were super gun-hoe about it, really making a conscious effort to say prayers in the morning and read scriptures together at night. It was going really well. Towards the end of the week, it actually was a little more difficult, as with all things that are righteous. But I'm happy to report that we did it!!!

So here's what I learned from this one "perfect" week.

I noticed so much more peace in my home last week. Life was not perfect, and things still came up, but we took it--I took it--much more in stride and didn't get so worked up about silly things. I felt more peace in my life and felt much more at peace with my life. Sometimes I get so caught up in the small things, especially with school, and I noticed that I was able to get more done and not feel stressed. Awesome!!!

I noticed that Dan and I were much more "in tune" with each other. We responded much better to each other, and I was more patient and kind too. I can't speak for Dan, because let's be honest, he's the patient one in this relationship, but I think he would agree that communication in our house went much smoother last week than it has in a while. We just seemed to get each other. We laughed so much and it just was pure bliss and happiness.

I noticed that my prayers were more meaningful. I actually thought about what I should pray about, and I paused during my prayers to listen and be touched by the Spirit. It's a beautiful thing to have the Spirit dwelling in your home, within these four small walls, and feel so much love from the Lord.

We're going for week number 2. I'll let you know how that goes. I definitely encourage you to try it though, and see what changes you see in your own life. Let it change you. Let the Spirit into your life to change you. Be moldable. Be pliable, and let the Spirit touch your life.

I can see Clearly now

Guess who joined the many thousands of contact wearers? This girl! That's right, I can finally see clearly all the time. Let me tell you, that is a fantastic thing. In all honesty, I probably should've been wearing contacts or my glasses all the time a while ago.

It's been an adjustment that's for sure. I can totally feel something in my eye but it's only bothering my lower eyelid. And let's not talk about putting my contacts in. Holy cow that's hard! I have absolutely no problem touching my eyes, but coming straight at my eye is kind of freaky. I think it took 2 or 3 times just to get my contacts in before church today.

In other news, we went to the temple this weekend and did some sealings, and guess who we saw? My old roommate Cassie Gardner (Hancock now) and her husband! Super random because I haven't seen her in over 3 years! It was a fun surprise!

Back to homework now. New week and more homework than I have time for. Should be fun :]

I'll be home for Christmas

Arizona is the most beautiful sight in the world after being away for almost a year. Especially if you're leaving the treacherous winter land for 70 degrees and warm sunshine. We left Christmas Eve after Dan got off work and headed for the homeland. Funny thing about traveling on Christmas Eve...everything closes around 7 or 8 pm. Even Burger King. No joke.

Lucky for us we pulled into St. George just in time to grab some food at Wal-Mart (Burger King was closed...ridiculous). There was literally a million people in that Wal-Mart. Holy cow last minute shoppers. We grabbed some fried chicken and a few lunchables, wolfed it down in the car, and got the heck out of dodge. We pulled into Phoenix around 1:30 in the morning.

We spent Christmas morning with my family, opened up presents, all that fun stuff. Dan got me an adorable watch (rose gold!! Go Dan!!!!), a Red purse, and a red coat!! Red was a big highlight this Christmas. It was so fun. Big highlight for Dan was the Oregon duck's shirt and a nice scarf. We also got a bunch of food storage stuff from both sets of parents and stuff for our emergency kits!! It's kind of funny that as you get older, practical gifts like food storage and emergency preparedness are super exciting gifts.

We drove down to Sierra Vista later in the afternoon and surprised Dan's parents (they thought we were not going to be there for a few more hours). It was really fun to spend some time in SV with family. We haven't seen Dan's parents in over a year and a half. Long time! We got to see some friends while we were there (Haymore's, Fenn's, Barkdull's) and also went to Thatcher for a day.

Pulling into that one horse town, I almost missed it. My heart aches for those simple and insanely fun times we had in Thatcher. It brings everything right back for me. Passing the movie theater where we had our "second" first date, the temple where we got engaged and I took out my endowments, and passing the college where we fell in love. Alright not that mushy, but you get the picture. I haven't been back to Thatcher since I drove away right before I got married.

Big highlight of the trip: PIMA BURRITOS!!! Oh my goodness. It's love in a tortilla. I'm drooling right now thinking about it.

We also went shooting, and I'm proud to say I've still got it! That's right. I can still shoot a clay pigeon with a shot gun. Hollah!!

And now here come's the photo dump!

"I'll be home for Christmas...if only in my dreams."