It's been one of those days. You know. The days where nothing really goes wrong, it's just all irritating. And yes...I'm blaming Mother Nature again. What a little pest sometimes. Honestly, why can't she just take it all out in one blow? Instead, she insists upon draggin the little bugger out. Oh well, life goes on.
Okay, I'm listening to Alanis Morissette, and she pretty much knows just what to say and exactly how to say it. I'm feeling that it fits my mood perfectly. Slightly melancholy and a little irritated. You live, you learn, you laugh, you learns, you cry, you learn, you lose, you learn, you bleed, you learn, you scream, you learn. I guess all this irritation is for me to learn patience. Ugh...trials: why do you have to be so blatently honest and in front of my face. I ALREADY KNOW I NEED TO WORK ON IT!!
Enough with the dramatics. Today's been a day. Just one of them that's not terrible, but not great. I feel like I just repeated myself...oh wait...I did. Great. And to take it back from earlier, this attitude is probably my fault. Crap. So if I just admitted that, that means I have to own up to it and change it. Seriously this sucks.
So two hours later...much happier. Well sort of. Actually, I'm pretty exhausted, but I guess that's what I get for it being 1145 at night! All of my homework for this week so far is done though, and THAT never happens! Wahoo go team.
Dan brought up an interesting idea tonight to me, and I thought I'd share. He asked if I could wish for anything, what would it be? Not anything ridiculous like super powers, but something real. I still haven't thought of what I would wish for. I guess I kind of feel like in wishing for something, I'm not happy with where I'm at, but it is nice to wonder sometimes. If I had one wish though, it wouldn't be to take anything back or undo any decisions, because every single one of them got me here, and I'm happy. Honestly happy. Life is crazy, and that's never going to change. But I am happy. And that is something I hope never changes.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thrift Store Shopping, Surprises, Fun Dates, Apple Orchards, Ladybug Hikes, and Fugitive
Wow...let's just say it's been an insane weekend. But, a good insane. A great insane. A fantastic insane. So let's just start from the beginning shall we?
FRIDAY: After I got done with classes and Raegan got home from work, Hannah Gunderson, Abbie, Raegan and I went thrift store shopping! The end goal for this adventure was to get our halloween costumes!! Right before we went shopping though, Raegan and I went to WalMart to go grocery shopping, because I was OUT of food. I got a question of the day text from Hannah: What is your favorite kind of flower? Well let's see...tulips and sunflowers. So we get home, and go thrift store shopping. This grand adventure was successful! Hannah, Abbie and I all got our moo-moos to wear on halloween!! SHHHH!It's a secret! Don't tell anyone...KENDRA. :] We even tried on antique wedding dresses, and let's just say that we all look absolutely fabulous in white. Haha.
We got home from thrift store shopping and started watching a movie. There's a knock on our door and I peaked my head over to see who it was, and it was Dan!!!!!! He was supposed to be in Texas still with the football team and they'd actually gotten home earlier that day and he didn't tell me! So I saw him, and then leaned back into the couch and stared forward for what probably seemed like forever. Then I've got Nicole Baldwin yelling at me to get up and give him a hug! DUH! But I yelled back at her (she's sitting right next to me): I can't! I'm in shock! Which honestly, I had no idea how to react to that. I was gonna leave him a note on his truck and everything and I just hadn't planned on him being home early. So thoughts aside, I got up and gave him a hug and he had FLOWERS!!! Sneaky sneaky Hannah! Haha they were so pretty! Then he asked if I wanted to go on a date tonight, and OF COURSE I DID!
On the date was Brian Baldwin, Brenna Bell, Cody Elmer, Becca Streeter, and Dan and I. The boys made dinner for us, biscuits and gravy...MY FAVORITE!! Then we went to WalMart to pick out a pumpkin to carve at a later date, and we had to pick out stuff to make a costume for two people for under $15. Dan and I were walking around and seriously had no ideas of what to be, so we ended up in the fabric section. Then out of no where, Dan had the idea to be a giant lovesac. Now the dilemma was just what fabric to get. Well no worries, we settled...and I mean settled...for BRIGHT ORANGE FLEECE fabric. Yeah, it was awesome. Brenna saw us getting it and was like, are you guys gonna be traffic cones?! Close, but good idea. Haha. We went back to the boys apartment and got dressed. Becca and Cody were Raggedy Anne and Andy. Brenna and Brian were a cowgirl and a prego Indian (Brenna was the Indian). It was pretty funny, and by far one of the funnest dates I've been on in a long time!
SATURDAY: Museum clean up. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've done in a long time. Okay it wasn't that bad, but one of the rooms I couldn't even go into and poor Raegan and Seth Anderson were major troupers and cleaned it. There was bat poop and pee all over the floor and two dead bats. SICK!! Doing service though, which was the entire goal, that was good. We had a fun time looking at all the little exhibits and rooms too!
After the museum clean up, we went to R&R for lunch. We came home, took quick power naps, and then were on our way up Mount Graham to go pick apples from Angle Orchard. It was so much fun and it smelled soooo delicious. It would honestly be such a cool place to take pictures, or to just sit down and read. It was so peaceful up there. So we picked some apples to make this apple crisp pie that Raegan makes. HOLY COW...DELICIOUS! Then we started on the ladybug hike.
Well halfway up the hike, Nicole and I decided that we didn't want to keep walking. Okay, it was more like we were just enjoying the view from this huge rock that over looked the valley. It was absolutely beautiful. I can't even begin to describe the peace and wonder and sheer awe at the majesty of it all. I don't know how people can see the beauty in the earth and not believe there is a higher power, someone who is watching over us, someone who has our best interests in mind, someone who always has an eternal perspective and wants what is absolutely best for us. It was so amazing. Nicole and I had a nice talk too, which is always good. I love good talks with great friends in the middle of nowhere, when everything's quiet and you can just think.
When we got back, we went to Denny's for dinner and then Dan came and picked me up. We went over to Taylor Stevens' house to watch the UFC fight. Dan's friend, Bryson Bendall was there with his girlfriend, so we hung out with them. It was definitely an interesting experience. I've never watched a fight in my life so that was different, not gross, but different. I wouldn't say I'd never watch one again, but it's not something that I'll go out of my way to see. Later that night, we played fugitive and pretty much, Dan and I dominated. The first round, Dan, Seth and I ran along the canal and jumped a fence to get to Dennys. We were the first ones there! WAHOO!! Then on the second round, Dan and I were one group of cops. So we parked across the street from Darrin and Cord's house, where base was. We hid in the trees and then when everyone came up to get to base, we tagged them all! It was awesome!!
SUNDAY: Went to church, then halfway through Relief Society, Dan texted me and said his family was eating dinner. So long story short, I ended up church hopping. I left right after the lesson in relief society was over, and then took the sacrament in third ward. Dan picked me up and we had dinner at Matt and Rhianna's house. I met Dan's parents. It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. His parents are hilarious and super nice. Hopefully they liked me! The fireside was awesome tonight. It was about who you take along with you in this ride of life and how these people are the ones you lean on during bumps in the road: your family, good friends, and ultimately the Savior. I really liked it. It put perspective on my life, and also scared me a little bit.
Up till now, my life has been pretty easy. There's not been anything that's honestly rocked my world, and that terrifies me for what's ahead. I know that I don't need to fear anything as long as I'm doing what's right and what has been asked of me, but it's just one of those things you think about, hopefully not for too long or else you'll live in fear your whole life, and I for one do NOT intend to do that by any means of the imagination. Anyway, let's just say it's been a great weekend. One for the books. And Abbie and Kendra: if you read this whole thing, major props...because it's a longgggg sucker. Haha.
I found this quote written on a post it in my scriptures: Be where the Lord can find you.
Just some food for thought.
FRIDAY: After I got done with classes and Raegan got home from work, Hannah Gunderson, Abbie, Raegan and I went thrift store shopping! The end goal for this adventure was to get our halloween costumes!! Right before we went shopping though, Raegan and I went to WalMart to go grocery shopping, because I was OUT of food. I got a question of the day text from Hannah: What is your favorite kind of flower? Well let's see...tulips and sunflowers. So we get home, and go thrift store shopping. This grand adventure was successful! Hannah, Abbie and I all got our moo-moos to wear on halloween!! SHHHH!It's a secret! Don't tell anyone...KENDRA. :] We even tried on antique wedding dresses, and let's just say that we all look absolutely fabulous in white. Haha.
We got home from thrift store shopping and started watching a movie. There's a knock on our door and I peaked my head over to see who it was, and it was Dan!!!!!! He was supposed to be in Texas still with the football team and they'd actually gotten home earlier that day and he didn't tell me! So I saw him, and then leaned back into the couch and stared forward for what probably seemed like forever. Then I've got Nicole Baldwin yelling at me to get up and give him a hug! DUH! But I yelled back at her (she's sitting right next to me): I can't! I'm in shock! Which honestly, I had no idea how to react to that. I was gonna leave him a note on his truck and everything and I just hadn't planned on him being home early. So thoughts aside, I got up and gave him a hug and he had FLOWERS!!! Sneaky sneaky Hannah! Haha they were so pretty! Then he asked if I wanted to go on a date tonight, and OF COURSE I DID!
On the date was Brian Baldwin, Brenna Bell, Cody Elmer, Becca Streeter, and Dan and I. The boys made dinner for us, biscuits and gravy...MY FAVORITE!! Then we went to WalMart to pick out a pumpkin to carve at a later date, and we had to pick out stuff to make a costume for two people for under $15. Dan and I were walking around and seriously had no ideas of what to be, so we ended up in the fabric section. Then out of no where, Dan had the idea to be a giant lovesac. Now the dilemma was just what fabric to get. Well no worries, we settled...and I mean settled...for BRIGHT ORANGE FLEECE fabric. Yeah, it was awesome. Brenna saw us getting it and was like, are you guys gonna be traffic cones?! Close, but good idea. Haha. We went back to the boys apartment and got dressed. Becca and Cody were Raggedy Anne and Andy. Brenna and Brian were a cowgirl and a prego Indian (Brenna was the Indian). It was pretty funny, and by far one of the funnest dates I've been on in a long time!
SATURDAY: Museum clean up. Easily one of the most disgusting things I've done in a long time. Okay it wasn't that bad, but one of the rooms I couldn't even go into and poor Raegan and Seth Anderson were major troupers and cleaned it. There was bat poop and pee all over the floor and two dead bats. SICK!! Doing service though, which was the entire goal, that was good. We had a fun time looking at all the little exhibits and rooms too!
After the museum clean up, we went to R&R for lunch. We came home, took quick power naps, and then were on our way up Mount Graham to go pick apples from Angle Orchard. It was so much fun and it smelled soooo delicious. It would honestly be such a cool place to take pictures, or to just sit down and read. It was so peaceful up there. So we picked some apples to make this apple crisp pie that Raegan makes. HOLY COW...DELICIOUS! Then we started on the ladybug hike.
Well halfway up the hike, Nicole and I decided that we didn't want to keep walking. Okay, it was more like we were just enjoying the view from this huge rock that over looked the valley. It was absolutely beautiful. I can't even begin to describe the peace and wonder and sheer awe at the majesty of it all. I don't know how people can see the beauty in the earth and not believe there is a higher power, someone who is watching over us, someone who has our best interests in mind, someone who always has an eternal perspective and wants what is absolutely best for us. It was so amazing. Nicole and I had a nice talk too, which is always good. I love good talks with great friends in the middle of nowhere, when everything's quiet and you can just think.
When we got back, we went to Denny's for dinner and then Dan came and picked me up. We went over to Taylor Stevens' house to watch the UFC fight. Dan's friend, Bryson Bendall was there with his girlfriend, so we hung out with them. It was definitely an interesting experience. I've never watched a fight in my life so that was different, not gross, but different. I wouldn't say I'd never watch one again, but it's not something that I'll go out of my way to see. Later that night, we played fugitive and pretty much, Dan and I dominated. The first round, Dan, Seth and I ran along the canal and jumped a fence to get to Dennys. We were the first ones there! WAHOO!! Then on the second round, Dan and I were one group of cops. So we parked across the street from Darrin and Cord's house, where base was. We hid in the trees and then when everyone came up to get to base, we tagged them all! It was awesome!!
SUNDAY: Went to church, then halfway through Relief Society, Dan texted me and said his family was eating dinner. So long story short, I ended up church hopping. I left right after the lesson in relief society was over, and then took the sacrament in third ward. Dan picked me up and we had dinner at Matt and Rhianna's house. I met Dan's parents. It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. His parents are hilarious and super nice. Hopefully they liked me! The fireside was awesome tonight. It was about who you take along with you in this ride of life and how these people are the ones you lean on during bumps in the road: your family, good friends, and ultimately the Savior. I really liked it. It put perspective on my life, and also scared me a little bit.
Up till now, my life has been pretty easy. There's not been anything that's honestly rocked my world, and that terrifies me for what's ahead. I know that I don't need to fear anything as long as I'm doing what's right and what has been asked of me, but it's just one of those things you think about, hopefully not for too long or else you'll live in fear your whole life, and I for one do NOT intend to do that by any means of the imagination. Anyway, let's just say it's been a great weekend. One for the books. And Abbie and Kendra: if you read this whole thing, major props...because it's a longgggg sucker. Haha.
I found this quote written on a post it in my scriptures: Be where the Lord can find you.
Just some food for thought.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Random and Sporadic
Yes...this is me. Random every second of every day of my life. I don't know how to be normal. I'm pretty sure it's not within my capacity to be normal. There's several thoughts on my mind today though.
First of all, it's raining outside!! Ahh I'm so excited about it. I love, love, LOVE the rain! It's the best smell in the entire world. Honestly, if I could bottle up a smell in a candle, it would be the rain. Seriously, there's nothing in the world that smells that great. Okay, so maybe there are a few things...I mean some boys do smell pretty good. But that aside, rain is amazing.
Second of all, in seminar today, the song that was played for the musical number was a rendition of the army of helaman. It was done on the piano and it sounded so amazing. One of those songs that just inspires you and gives you just enough strength to brave the world (or the rest of the day). Lately, it's just been the rest of the day. But after hearing that song, I just felt like I could conquer the world. A little cheesy I know, but hey you can't help how you feel...especially when it's cheesy.
Speaking of cheesy, (and this is the third of all) I'm so fetchin twitterpated--as my roommates have so graciously informed me today. As Abbie puts it, "I've never seen this side of Arielle before." GREAT. Oh well, this too shall pass. Secretly, I hope it doesn't. I love being this happy. It's the best feeling in the entire world. I have the best boyfriend!! Hmm...never said that before. Baby steps, baby steps.
He's so good to me. We actually were having a conversation last night just about it. I'm so grateful for second chances and for the strength that I found to give one more chance. I'm so glad I did. In more ways than one, I'm very grateful that I did.
Which brings me to the fourth of all, I'm so grateful for my uncle. He's taught me so much in my life. He's the older brother I never had, and sometimes wished I didn't have. I credit him so much for thinking the way I do now, and for seeing things in a little different light than I did when summer began. He is the reason I believe in second chances and that no matter what, love unconditionally, especially your family. You never know what people are going through and what their internal struggles are.
He's hit a bump in the road--okay, it's a freakin gaping hole, and this summer seriously tested my capacity to love him. I guess, to make the long story short, I was tired of getting let down and the empty promises that were never kept. Then I had the most enlightening conversation with my mom, which pretty much opened my eyes to how little I knew, and how little I still know. Anyway, point being, I was really angry with him and honestly wanted nothing to do with him because I couldn't understand. My little 18 year old mind could not wrap my head around it. Not that my 19 year old mind can either, but I hope I'm just a little wiser now. I went to church and all the lessons and talks were on forgiveness and having the pure love of Christ and allowing the atonement to work in your life.
Okay, HINT TAKEN. I realized how much I needed to forgive and to accept him for who he is, a child of God that's struggling just as much as everyone else, maybe just in a little bit different ways. I absolutely love him to death and I can't wait to see him again, because despite being a little pill, he's the best person to talk to. Not even joking, the older brother I never had.
The whole point in bringing him up though was because I've been thinking about him for the last couple of days. His sergeant was murdered a couple of nights ago and he was really good friends with him. I know he's taking it hard, and I can't possibly imagine anything like that. I've had the great blessing of not losing someone close to me. I honestly hope I don't ever have to, but no one is making out of this life alive, so it can't be too far off.
Alright I wasn't joking, random and sporatic. I guess to sum this up, I am grateful for the people in my life that I love with all my heart. They are such a light and inspiration. I'm grateful for the school I go to and the town I live in, although at times it feels so small it's sufficating. I'm grateful for the experiences that I've been able to have here that would have never happened anywhere else, and more than anything I'm grateful for the things I've been able to learn from them. I'm grateful for second chances, and the things I've learned from giving them and being able to receive them. I'm grateful for the rain and the cleansing feeling it brings after it hits your face.
Holy cow, to think this entire blog started out with me talking about the rain. RANDOM.
Swish it around in your mouth. Think about it a little bit.
LIFE IS AN AWFUL, BEAUTIFUL THING.
First of all, it's raining outside!! Ahh I'm so excited about it. I love, love, LOVE the rain! It's the best smell in the entire world. Honestly, if I could bottle up a smell in a candle, it would be the rain. Seriously, there's nothing in the world that smells that great. Okay, so maybe there are a few things...I mean some boys do smell pretty good. But that aside, rain is amazing.
Second of all, in seminar today, the song that was played for the musical number was a rendition of the army of helaman. It was done on the piano and it sounded so amazing. One of those songs that just inspires you and gives you just enough strength to brave the world (or the rest of the day). Lately, it's just been the rest of the day. But after hearing that song, I just felt like I could conquer the world. A little cheesy I know, but hey you can't help how you feel...especially when it's cheesy.
Speaking of cheesy, (and this is the third of all) I'm so fetchin twitterpated--as my roommates have so graciously informed me today. As Abbie puts it, "I've never seen this side of Arielle before." GREAT. Oh well, this too shall pass. Secretly, I hope it doesn't. I love being this happy. It's the best feeling in the entire world. I have the best boyfriend!! Hmm...never said that before. Baby steps, baby steps.
He's so good to me. We actually were having a conversation last night just about it. I'm so grateful for second chances and for the strength that I found to give one more chance. I'm so glad I did. In more ways than one, I'm very grateful that I did.
Which brings me to the fourth of all, I'm so grateful for my uncle. He's taught me so much in my life. He's the older brother I never had, and sometimes wished I didn't have. I credit him so much for thinking the way I do now, and for seeing things in a little different light than I did when summer began. He is the reason I believe in second chances and that no matter what, love unconditionally, especially your family. You never know what people are going through and what their internal struggles are.
He's hit a bump in the road--okay, it's a freakin gaping hole, and this summer seriously tested my capacity to love him. I guess, to make the long story short, I was tired of getting let down and the empty promises that were never kept. Then I had the most enlightening conversation with my mom, which pretty much opened my eyes to how little I knew, and how little I still know. Anyway, point being, I was really angry with him and honestly wanted nothing to do with him because I couldn't understand. My little 18 year old mind could not wrap my head around it. Not that my 19 year old mind can either, but I hope I'm just a little wiser now. I went to church and all the lessons and talks were on forgiveness and having the pure love of Christ and allowing the atonement to work in your life.
Okay, HINT TAKEN. I realized how much I needed to forgive and to accept him for who he is, a child of God that's struggling just as much as everyone else, maybe just in a little bit different ways. I absolutely love him to death and I can't wait to see him again, because despite being a little pill, he's the best person to talk to. Not even joking, the older brother I never had.
The whole point in bringing him up though was because I've been thinking about him for the last couple of days. His sergeant was murdered a couple of nights ago and he was really good friends with him. I know he's taking it hard, and I can't possibly imagine anything like that. I've had the great blessing of not losing someone close to me. I honestly hope I don't ever have to, but no one is making out of this life alive, so it can't be too far off.
Alright I wasn't joking, random and sporatic. I guess to sum this up, I am grateful for the people in my life that I love with all my heart. They are such a light and inspiration. I'm grateful for the school I go to and the town I live in, although at times it feels so small it's sufficating. I'm grateful for the experiences that I've been able to have here that would have never happened anywhere else, and more than anything I'm grateful for the things I've been able to learn from them. I'm grateful for second chances, and the things I've learned from giving them and being able to receive them. I'm grateful for the rain and the cleansing feeling it brings after it hits your face.
Holy cow, to think this entire blog started out with me talking about the rain. RANDOM.
Swish it around in your mouth. Think about it a little bit.
LIFE IS AN AWFUL, BEAUTIFUL THING.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
WHY?! Honestly, are we having this conversation?!
Ughhhh...severe irritation. PMS doesn't help...at all. So curtains and I were at a party, and we're walking back to his apartment and then he out of nowhere decides to go upstairs to his apartment and tells everyone except me to follow him up there. okay...so I take the hint, give the boys their space, and walk on my merry way back home, all the while getting progressively more irritated. No goodnight or goodbye or anything!
Halfway home--and I don't want to make it out like it was a far walk, it's not--I get this text. Conversation goes as follows:
C: Where are you?
M: Walking home.
C: What?!?!?!?!? Why :[
M: Because you guys went upstairs and I didn't know if I was supposed to follow you or not.
C: Wait :[ Dang it I was supposed to take you home
M: It's fine you're with [name]
C:I don't care! I wanna be with you!! (which at this point in the conversation if I wasn't so irritated--THANK YOU MOTHER NATURE--would have been an "aweeee" moment followed by and irreplaceable smile)
Anyway, I know it's completely dumb, but I'm just so bugged and I shouldn't be. I mean curtains didn't do anything wrong, but seriously? Am I that easily forgotten? Okay enough with the selfish questions. Obviously he didn't forget about me or else he wouldn't have texted me at all, right?
Another point of irritation this evening, why can't we ever say what we mean?! When someone knows you're obviously bugged about something and yet they STILL ask what's wrong. Ahhhhh!! But you can't just outright say exactly how you feel or what's wrong, especially over text. That's super dumb, but I'm so guilty of it. Sometimes, it just has to come out right then and there and you can't wait for the time when you're talking to them face to face.
One last thing before I quit this habit, funniest/awkward moment of my life today! So I was talking to peach about pharmacology on my way to the library to study. We're talking about the midterm we just took--EPIC FAILURE to say the least--and out of nowhere: So are you and [name] dating?! HOLY AWKWARD! Especially since peach is the jealous other...yes we've all experienced that. Seriously suckedddd. I practically choked on the answer!! It was so unexpected and I honestly have to hand it to her for having a pair to ask that to my face! Wowahhh. Anyway, such is life, full of awkward and irritating moments that at the end of the day (most days) I can laugh at. Today is one of them. Goodnight.
Halfway home--and I don't want to make it out like it was a far walk, it's not--I get this text. Conversation goes as follows:
C: Where are you?
M: Walking home.
C: What?!?!?!?!? Why :[
M: Because you guys went upstairs and I didn't know if I was supposed to follow you or not.
C: Wait :[ Dang it I was supposed to take you home
M: It's fine you're with [name]
C:I don't care! I wanna be with you!! (which at this point in the conversation if I wasn't so irritated--THANK YOU MOTHER NATURE--would have been an "aweeee" moment followed by and irreplaceable smile)
Anyway, I know it's completely dumb, but I'm just so bugged and I shouldn't be. I mean curtains didn't do anything wrong, but seriously? Am I that easily forgotten? Okay enough with the selfish questions. Obviously he didn't forget about me or else he wouldn't have texted me at all, right?
Another point of irritation this evening, why can't we ever say what we mean?! When someone knows you're obviously bugged about something and yet they STILL ask what's wrong. Ahhhhh!! But you can't just outright say exactly how you feel or what's wrong, especially over text. That's super dumb, but I'm so guilty of it. Sometimes, it just has to come out right then and there and you can't wait for the time when you're talking to them face to face.
One last thing before I quit this habit, funniest/awkward moment of my life today! So I was talking to peach about pharmacology on my way to the library to study. We're talking about the midterm we just took--EPIC FAILURE to say the least--and out of nowhere: So are you and [name] dating?! HOLY AWKWARD! Especially since peach is the jealous other...yes we've all experienced that. Seriously suckedddd. I practically choked on the answer!! It was so unexpected and I honestly have to hand it to her for having a pair to ask that to my face! Wowahhh. Anyway, such is life, full of awkward and irritating moments that at the end of the day (most days) I can laugh at. Today is one of them. Goodnight.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I love my Mom.
Let's just start off by saying she's pretty much the most amazing person in the entire world. Me being the ridiculous girl that I am, was having a day...you know, the days that everything falls apart and you just can't take life anymore. For me, I get them once a month, and have since recognized that the perfect remedy is to cry, let it all out, and then I can move on with life again.
So today was that day. Of all things, I got a calling AND had a pharmacology midterm. Great. Well, I called my mom right before devotional and was talking to her about it and that I knew I was having a day. I told her I'd call her after devotional before she had to get back to teaching. Well, I made it through the opening song and the musical number before I started crying. I made an abrupt exit and ran home, changed, and drove down to the cotton field to run.
I called my mom and was talking to her about all the questions and decisions I have to make and the things that have been weighing on my mind lately. Then, she asked me if I'd said my prayers that morning. Immediately, I realized that I hadn't and that I probably should. My mom is seriously so amazing. She knows exactly what to say and I am forever grateful that she was chosen to be my mom. I need her in more ways that I know and she always knows what to say, whether or not I want to hear it.
I went for a run, got about 2 miles into it, and just stopped and looked around at the place that I've been blessed with to live in for the last year and a half. It's absolutely amazing. I knelt down right there and just prayed to find that peace and comfort and to know that He is mindful of me, that He knows what I'm going through and how I'm feeling. I also wanted to know if dating Dan is the right thing for me to do right now. Lately, I've just been feeling a little unsure, that feeling in the back of my mind that just wouldn't go away. I thought it was just the beginning of a relationship and the uneasiness of it, but I wasn't sure.
As soon as I stood up, there was this overwhelming feeling of peace and assurity that I'm doing the right thing, I'm where I'm supposed to be, and that things will be taken care of in their own time and place. I felt so much love and happiness and I knew that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father that loves me, knows me, and has blessed me with such a wonderful mother that knows and listens to promptings so that I can find answers.
I took my pharmacology test at 4 and it took me a freaking hour to take the dang thing!! Ugh I was so drained by the end of it. I came home and was about to head back to the library to do some anatomy homework that's due on Thursday because, let's face it, I love anatomy and anatomy loves me. It always makes sense. Not like this pharmacology crap.
When I walked into my apartment, there was a flower arrangement on the counter with a card. I looked at it and it was for me!! I was so excited, I had no idea who it was from. I read the card, and it said: Have faith. I know how hard things can get. I love you! Mom. As soon as I read it, I started crying. I walked into my room, and just fell on my bed crying. I couldn't even control it.
I've been so blessed with an amazing mom and I will never be able to thank her enough for everything she's given me. I hope one day I can be a mom like she is, and listen to my children and listen to the Spirit to know what to say to them and to make them feel my love. She's the most incredible person I know. She is so strong and always has good advice for me, but I love that she tells me to turn to my Heavenly Father.
Needless to say, the flowers were the perfect end to the crapiest day. In fact, it completely turned my day around. Mom, I love you. I'll never be able to say it enough, but I do. You're the best!!
"Mama you taught me to do the right things, so now you have to let your baby fly. You've given me everything that I will need to make it through this crazy thing called life."
So today was that day. Of all things, I got a calling AND had a pharmacology midterm. Great. Well, I called my mom right before devotional and was talking to her about it and that I knew I was having a day. I told her I'd call her after devotional before she had to get back to teaching. Well, I made it through the opening song and the musical number before I started crying. I made an abrupt exit and ran home, changed, and drove down to the cotton field to run.
I called my mom and was talking to her about all the questions and decisions I have to make and the things that have been weighing on my mind lately. Then, she asked me if I'd said my prayers that morning. Immediately, I realized that I hadn't and that I probably should. My mom is seriously so amazing. She knows exactly what to say and I am forever grateful that she was chosen to be my mom. I need her in more ways that I know and she always knows what to say, whether or not I want to hear it.
I went for a run, got about 2 miles into it, and just stopped and looked around at the place that I've been blessed with to live in for the last year and a half. It's absolutely amazing. I knelt down right there and just prayed to find that peace and comfort and to know that He is mindful of me, that He knows what I'm going through and how I'm feeling. I also wanted to know if dating Dan is the right thing for me to do right now. Lately, I've just been feeling a little unsure, that feeling in the back of my mind that just wouldn't go away. I thought it was just the beginning of a relationship and the uneasiness of it, but I wasn't sure.
As soon as I stood up, there was this overwhelming feeling of peace and assurity that I'm doing the right thing, I'm where I'm supposed to be, and that things will be taken care of in their own time and place. I felt so much love and happiness and I knew that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father that loves me, knows me, and has blessed me with such a wonderful mother that knows and listens to promptings so that I can find answers.
I took my pharmacology test at 4 and it took me a freaking hour to take the dang thing!! Ugh I was so drained by the end of it. I came home and was about to head back to the library to do some anatomy homework that's due on Thursday because, let's face it, I love anatomy and anatomy loves me. It always makes sense. Not like this pharmacology crap.
When I walked into my apartment, there was a flower arrangement on the counter with a card. I looked at it and it was for me!! I was so excited, I had no idea who it was from. I read the card, and it said: Have faith. I know how hard things can get. I love you! Mom. As soon as I read it, I started crying. I walked into my room, and just fell on my bed crying. I couldn't even control it.
I've been so blessed with an amazing mom and I will never be able to thank her enough for everything she's given me. I hope one day I can be a mom like she is, and listen to my children and listen to the Spirit to know what to say to them and to make them feel my love. She's the most incredible person I know. She is so strong and always has good advice for me, but I love that she tells me to turn to my Heavenly Father.
Needless to say, the flowers were the perfect end to the crapiest day. In fact, it completely turned my day around. Mom, I love you. I'll never be able to say it enough, but I do. You're the best!!
"Mama you taught me to do the right things, so now you have to let your baby fly. You've given me everything that I will need to make it through this crazy thing called life."
Monday, October 18, 2010
The fox is flying! THE FOX IS FLYING!! THE FOX HAS...flown.
Wow what a weekend! Okay let's just start at the beginning, shall we? Well Saturday, Abbie and I woke up, she started writing her English paper, and I cleaned the apartment. Then I get a text from Dan asking if I wanted to go to lunch with him and Matt and Rhianna. He then told me it was gonna be a "pajama run" lunch, which means he'd pick me up without telling me when he's coming and I'd have a minute to get ready and go. Not about to go out to lunch looking like a bum, I hurried and got ready. He picked me up, and then we went and got lunch at a sandwich place in Pima, and then went to the picnic tables by the temple and ate lunch.
It was really funny listening to Dan and Matt tell stories about them growing up and all the trouble and messes they got into. When we got back to Matt's house, Dan and I played with the little puppy that ended up on their doorstep earlier that day. We came back to my apartment and Dan fell asleep on my couch. So I ran over to Kacey's to tell her that I had decided to go to Sierra Vista with them that night. She and Megan had asked me about it on Friday and I didn't know if I wanted to, or if it would be weird--asking all those stupid questions that girls do and being completely irrational. After much debate, I decided to go.
Kacey told me that Megan was getting out of clinicals around 7 so we'd leave as soon as she got home, but the whole plan was to keep it a secret from Dan so I could surprise him on Sunday. Dan and I went to a baptism and Kacey texted me around 6 that Megan was home. So I hurried home, packed my stuff, threw it in Megan's car, and ran over to Dan's to say goodbye so he wouldn't stop by my house and we could meet them somewhere and drive down to Sierra Vista together. We met them at a gas station in town, and I hid between the bench and the seat in front of me. They covered me in pillows so that Dan and Brian wouldn't know I was in the car.
We got to Megan's house and played kick the can with her cousins and just messed around in the backyard. When Dan and Brian and Bryson got there to talk to Jared, we were all in the backyard and they went into the game room to talk and look at pictures from Jared's mission. Kacey kept watch on the door when we went into the kitchen to talk to Megan's mom. The code was "the fox is flying." Luckily, we didn't have to use it. Megan, Kacey and I slept on the trampoline. The whole time I was texting Dan acting like I was still in Thatcher.
At church, we got there before Dan and Brian did and they sat behind us. Well, I severely underestimated Dan's knowledge of the back of my head. I guess I figured that the backs of people's head all looked the same. I guess when you stare at one all semester, you get pretty familiar with it. Hahah oh man poor kid. Good thing he doesn't know I'm writing this. Anyway, moving on with the story, he was texting Kacey and totally knew it was me. He found me before priesthood and relief society and it was sooo cute. He had the biggest smile on his face and was like I'm so happy to see you and I can't believe you're here! Good surprise huh?!
We had lunch at Megan's after church and took a million and a half pictures! Before we left, Marsha, Megan's mom, pulled me aside in the kitchen and asked me how much I liked this boy (Dan). Then she was telling me about his mom and how amazing she is. Holy crap, from what Marsha said, I'm pretty sure I'm absolutely terrified to meet her! She's amazing!! Never has a cross word to say about anyone. Pretty much the kind of person we're all supposed to be like, and I fall miserably short. Ugh. Great. If I wasn't nervous to meet his parents before, I totally am now!!
Fears aside, hopefully I'll have PLENTY of time to psych myself up to meet them. Oh dear. This could be interesting. Good thing it's not any time soon. Okay, back to Marsha: So she asked me if Dan and I were dating and I kinda laughed--nervously--and fumbled with through a yeah we are. Kacey piped in and said Yeah you guys are! He's telling people you're his girlfriend. Great. Well there you go, we're dating. Haha oh well. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
The drive back was fairly uneventful, except when we pulled off the 10 to get onto the 191 to come back. Out of nowhere, we see lights behind us. Yeah, Megan got pulled over, apparently for speeding. Being the adorable blonde she is, and lucky for us that Jared had just gotten home, she got off with a warning and the cop ended up talking to her for what seemed like FOREVER about his mission and where he went. Then, the cop gave us all permission to be back seat drivers so that Megan wouldn't speed anymore. Talk about a great day! I actually get PERMISSION to be a back seat driver!! Wahoo! Okay so it wasn't that exciting. It was honestly more weird and awkward than anything.
We made it home safe and sound. Thank goodness. I hung out with Dan and we just laughed about the entire weekend and how I was at Megan's the entire time and he had no idea. Such a good girlfriend--yuck. I don't know if I'll get used to that anytime soon. Haha. But he did like the surprise. Mission accomplished. Now that it's ridiculously late and I have a midterm on Tuesday in pharmacology--kill my life--I think we'll call this one quits. It's pretty ridiculously long. But hey, I want to remember this some day, and it's the details that count!!
"Family: the one's you live with, laugh with, and love." :]
It was really funny listening to Dan and Matt tell stories about them growing up and all the trouble and messes they got into. When we got back to Matt's house, Dan and I played with the little puppy that ended up on their doorstep earlier that day. We came back to my apartment and Dan fell asleep on my couch. So I ran over to Kacey's to tell her that I had decided to go to Sierra Vista with them that night. She and Megan had asked me about it on Friday and I didn't know if I wanted to, or if it would be weird--asking all those stupid questions that girls do and being completely irrational. After much debate, I decided to go.
Kacey told me that Megan was getting out of clinicals around 7 so we'd leave as soon as she got home, but the whole plan was to keep it a secret from Dan so I could surprise him on Sunday. Dan and I went to a baptism and Kacey texted me around 6 that Megan was home. So I hurried home, packed my stuff, threw it in Megan's car, and ran over to Dan's to say goodbye so he wouldn't stop by my house and we could meet them somewhere and drive down to Sierra Vista together. We met them at a gas station in town, and I hid between the bench and the seat in front of me. They covered me in pillows so that Dan and Brian wouldn't know I was in the car.
We got to Megan's house and played kick the can with her cousins and just messed around in the backyard. When Dan and Brian and Bryson got there to talk to Jared, we were all in the backyard and they went into the game room to talk and look at pictures from Jared's mission. Kacey kept watch on the door when we went into the kitchen to talk to Megan's mom. The code was "the fox is flying." Luckily, we didn't have to use it. Megan, Kacey and I slept on the trampoline. The whole time I was texting Dan acting like I was still in Thatcher.
At church, we got there before Dan and Brian did and they sat behind us. Well, I severely underestimated Dan's knowledge of the back of my head. I guess I figured that the backs of people's head all looked the same. I guess when you stare at one all semester, you get pretty familiar with it. Hahah oh man poor kid. Good thing he doesn't know I'm writing this. Anyway, moving on with the story, he was texting Kacey and totally knew it was me. He found me before priesthood and relief society and it was sooo cute. He had the biggest smile on his face and was like I'm so happy to see you and I can't believe you're here! Good surprise huh?!
We had lunch at Megan's after church and took a million and a half pictures! Before we left, Marsha, Megan's mom, pulled me aside in the kitchen and asked me how much I liked this boy (Dan). Then she was telling me about his mom and how amazing she is. Holy crap, from what Marsha said, I'm pretty sure I'm absolutely terrified to meet her! She's amazing!! Never has a cross word to say about anyone. Pretty much the kind of person we're all supposed to be like, and I fall miserably short. Ugh. Great. If I wasn't nervous to meet his parents before, I totally am now!!
Fears aside, hopefully I'll have PLENTY of time to psych myself up to meet them. Oh dear. This could be interesting. Good thing it's not any time soon. Okay, back to Marsha: So she asked me if Dan and I were dating and I kinda laughed--nervously--and fumbled with through a yeah we are. Kacey piped in and said Yeah you guys are! He's telling people you're his girlfriend. Great. Well there you go, we're dating. Haha oh well. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
The drive back was fairly uneventful, except when we pulled off the 10 to get onto the 191 to come back. Out of nowhere, we see lights behind us. Yeah, Megan got pulled over, apparently for speeding. Being the adorable blonde she is, and lucky for us that Jared had just gotten home, she got off with a warning and the cop ended up talking to her for what seemed like FOREVER about his mission and where he went. Then, the cop gave us all permission to be back seat drivers so that Megan wouldn't speed anymore. Talk about a great day! I actually get PERMISSION to be a back seat driver!! Wahoo! Okay so it wasn't that exciting. It was honestly more weird and awkward than anything.
We made it home safe and sound. Thank goodness. I hung out with Dan and we just laughed about the entire weekend and how I was at Megan's the entire time and he had no idea. Such a good girlfriend--yuck. I don't know if I'll get used to that anytime soon. Haha. But he did like the surprise. Mission accomplished. Now that it's ridiculously late and I have a midterm on Tuesday in pharmacology--kill my life--I think we'll call this one quits. It's pretty ridiculously long. But hey, I want to remember this some day, and it's the details that count!!
"Family: the one's you live with, laugh with, and love." :]
Thursday, October 14, 2010
...but I'm an open book.
Okay so when Abbie and I were making my blog yesterday, I couldn't think of anything to call it. At a loss for words, I decided upon this...They have curtains, and just to explain it's an inside joke. But as I've been thinking about it a little more, and don't think I'm trying to be all deep and thoughtful about it, because that's definitely not where I was ever intending on going with this, but I was just thinking how much of an open book my life is. Honestly, if anybody wanted to know anything about me, all they'd have to do is ask and I would tell them. So I was just thinking about how curtains sometimes keep creepers and people from looking into your home and blocking out things. Well I don't have any.
I'm having some serious self-consciousness issues writing to this invisible audience that does not exist...except for Kendra and Abbie. But, issues aside, I will continue to write in the hopes that one day I can copy and paste this into a journal--an idea I totally stole from Abbie--and listen to the counsel of the prophets to keep a journal. The whole pen and paper thing...not really my style. So I suppose this will have to suffice. It's only taken me till college to get here, but better late than never right?
Today I saw this post on facebook about sisters and it made me very grateful for mine. It says SISTERS ARE A PROMISE FROM GOD THAT YOU WILL HAVE A FRIEND FOREVER. I'm so grateful for mine. We don't always get along and we're all at different stages in our lives, making it a little difficult to relate to each other, but this post made me realize how much of a blessing each of them are. I've been blessed with three of them that are each different and unique and bring something more to our collective relationship as sisters. I hope that one day, we can all be the best of friends and lean on each other for everything.
On a less serious note, the breast cancer awareness volleyball game was last night...pictures will come later...much later. This blogging thing is entirely difficult to get used to. Anyway, back to the volleyball game. So everyone is wearing pink and there was a guy that walked in with a shirt that said: Protect them! Cause we love them! So awesome! Haha I loved it!!
Anyway, to end this nice lovely little freaking RANDOM post, geez I feel like a schizophrenic, let's just say I take life not nearly seriously enough. My friends and I have no grip on reality whatsoever. We laugh entirely too much. Say way too many random things--that all end up on post it notes on our board in the kitchen. Stay up till the wee hours of the morning and watch the sunrise--which we never remember what gets talked about. But in the end, we're happy. And it's these memories that we'll remember. The ones that we look back on years from now. This is the part of college we'll remember. And I intend to make the most of it. So here's my little disclaimer: forgive the carelessness and out-of-touch-with-reality-ness that I experience and will write about on a (hopefully) regular basis. After all, they say the more you laugh the longer you live. :]
I'm having some serious self-consciousness issues writing to this invisible audience that does not exist...except for Kendra and Abbie. But, issues aside, I will continue to write in the hopes that one day I can copy and paste this into a journal--an idea I totally stole from Abbie--and listen to the counsel of the prophets to keep a journal. The whole pen and paper thing...not really my style. So I suppose this will have to suffice. It's only taken me till college to get here, but better late than never right?
Today I saw this post on facebook about sisters and it made me very grateful for mine. It says SISTERS ARE A PROMISE FROM GOD THAT YOU WILL HAVE A FRIEND FOREVER. I'm so grateful for mine. We don't always get along and we're all at different stages in our lives, making it a little difficult to relate to each other, but this post made me realize how much of a blessing each of them are. I've been blessed with three of them that are each different and unique and bring something more to our collective relationship as sisters. I hope that one day, we can all be the best of friends and lean on each other for everything.
On a less serious note, the breast cancer awareness volleyball game was last night...pictures will come later...much later. This blogging thing is entirely difficult to get used to. Anyway, back to the volleyball game. So everyone is wearing pink and there was a guy that walked in with a shirt that said: Protect them! Cause we love them! So awesome! Haha I loved it!!
Anyway, to end this nice lovely little freaking RANDOM post, geez I feel like a schizophrenic, let's just say I take life not nearly seriously enough. My friends and I have no grip on reality whatsoever. We laugh entirely too much. Say way too many random things--that all end up on post it notes on our board in the kitchen. Stay up till the wee hours of the morning and watch the sunrise--which we never remember what gets talked about. But in the end, we're happy. And it's these memories that we'll remember. The ones that we look back on years from now. This is the part of college we'll remember. And I intend to make the most of it. So here's my little disclaimer: forgive the carelessness and out-of-touch-with-reality-ness that I experience and will write about on a (hopefully) regular basis. After all, they say the more you laugh the longer you live. :]
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