Random and Sporadic

Yes...this is me. Random every second of every day of my life. I don't know how to be normal. I'm pretty sure it's not within my capacity to be normal. There's several thoughts on my mind today though.

First of all, it's raining outside!! Ahh I'm so excited about it. I love, love, LOVE the rain! It's the best smell in the entire world. Honestly, if I could bottle up a smell in a candle, it would be the rain. Seriously, there's nothing in the world that smells that great. Okay, so maybe there are a few things...I mean some boys do smell pretty good. But that aside, rain is amazing.

Second of all, in seminar today, the song that was played for the musical number was a rendition of the army of helaman. It was done on the piano and it sounded so amazing. One of those songs that just inspires you and gives you just enough strength to brave the world (or the rest of the day). Lately, it's just been the rest of the day. But after hearing that song, I just felt like I could conquer the world. A little cheesy I know, but hey you can't help how you feel...especially when it's cheesy.

Speaking of cheesy, (and this is the third of all) I'm so fetchin twitterpated--as my roommates have so graciously informed me today. As Abbie puts it, "I've never seen this side of Arielle before." GREAT. Oh well, this too shall pass. Secretly, I hope it doesn't. I love being this happy. It's the best feeling in the entire world. I have the best boyfriend!! Hmm...never said that before. Baby steps, baby steps.

He's so good to me. We actually were having a conversation last night just about it. I'm so grateful for second chances and for the strength that I found to give one more chance. I'm so glad I did. In more ways than one, I'm very grateful that I did.

Which brings me to the fourth of all, I'm so grateful for my uncle. He's taught me so much in my life. He's the older brother I never had, and sometimes wished I didn't have. I credit him so much for thinking the way I do now, and for seeing things in a little different light than I did when summer began. He is the reason I believe in second chances and that no matter what, love unconditionally, especially your family. You never know what people are going through and what their internal struggles are.

He's hit a bump in the road--okay, it's a freakin gaping hole, and this summer seriously tested my capacity to love him. I guess, to make the long story short, I was tired of getting let down and the empty promises that were never kept. Then I had the most enlightening conversation with my mom, which pretty much opened my eyes to how little I knew, and how little I still know. Anyway, point being, I was really angry with him and honestly wanted nothing to do with him because I couldn't understand. My little 18 year old mind could not wrap my head around it. Not that my 19 year old mind can either, but I hope I'm just a little wiser now. I went to church and all the lessons and talks were on forgiveness and having the pure love of Christ and allowing the atonement to work in your life.

Okay, HINT TAKEN. I realized how much I needed to forgive and to accept him for who he is, a child of God that's struggling just as much as everyone else, maybe just in a little bit different ways. I absolutely love him to death and I can't wait to see him again, because despite being a little pill, he's the best person to talk to. Not even joking, the older brother I never had.

The whole point in bringing him up though was because I've been thinking about him for the last couple of days. His sergeant was murdered a couple of nights ago and he was really good friends with him. I know he's taking it hard, and I can't possibly imagine anything like that. I've had the great blessing of not losing someone close to me. I honestly hope I don't ever have to, but no one is making out of this life alive, so it can't be too far off.

Alright I wasn't joking, random and sporatic. I guess to sum this up, I am grateful for the people in my life that I love with all my heart. They are such a light and inspiration. I'm grateful for the school I go to and the town I live in, although at times it feels so small it's sufficating. I'm grateful for the experiences that I've been able to have here that would have never happened anywhere else, and more than anything I'm grateful for the things I've been able to learn from them. I'm grateful for second chances, and the things I've learned from giving them and being able to receive them. I'm grateful for the rain and the cleansing feeling it brings after it hits your face.

Holy cow, to think this entire blog started out with me talking about the rain. RANDOM.

Swish it around in your mouth. Think about it a little bit.

LIFE IS AN AWFUL, BEAUTIFUL THING.