What are you guys...50 and married?!

Okay so this blog title has absolutely nothing to do with what I wanted to blog about, but Abbie and I were talking about blogging and Rustin made the comment: What are you guys...50 and married?! That's like what my mom and all her friends do! Hahaha it was hilarious!


So really this blog is to fulfill a "prophesy" if you can call it that without being sacrilegious, but this is honestly so cute that it has to be shared.


A very cold morning i wake up and shes not there, 
So i look straight up and i start to stare. 
I wonder in my mind, "is she still asleep?"
Thinking about the next time we'd be able to meet. 

A fell asleep thinking about her as a friend, 
First thing in the morning is me thinking, "wow i hope this never ends"

Everyday we've seen each other for a little over two months, 
Except of course when i have to leave for my hunts. 
I've definitely savored every moment that we spend, 
And then it comes to my mind, "Is she now my best friend?"

Every laugh, every sigh, every single goodbye, 
Has been the moments where i can see our relationship fly!
I hate it sometimes when with her i act so sappy, 
I just don't know how to express that when I'm with her I'm happy!

I'll probably give her this dream, 
and she'll probably share it on her blog. 
Kendra and Abbie will probably think I'm in love. 

But she's different then what i initially thought. 
She has a lot more for me, and i guess that's why i fought. 
So here's to my sweetheart, even if it last or it doesn't. 
To my Arielle, You are so beautiful! Thanks for giving me a lot of things that i haven't. 


Okay, in reading this again, I could honestly cry, and I realized how emotionally retarded I am. Seriously, why can't I just say what I feel? I think it's a defect in myself. Oh well, I guess it'll just have to come out in different ways. I guess I never paid attention to showing it, because I've always known how I've felt (obviously) but I never thought that he didn't know. It's so dumb that I just can't say it straight up and out loud.


Like we were talking the other night, and he asked me what I looked for in a guy. Not a big deal at all. But I froze. It's like I know exactly what I want, but actually voicing it to someone, especially someone that I care about a lot, it's just hard. I shut down. Completely. Well it gets better, the next question was What do you see in me? Umm...can I chew this one over with a Twix please? I know this sounds incredibly dumb and stupid, but how do I put it into words and say it out loud how I feel? I've never been that person that can just come up with stuff like poems and sweet nothings to say. I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hmm...one day I'll figure this out.


But in the meantime...here's to you :]


I love the way you make me laugh...all the time about anything. I love that you care so much about me and you always want to know how I'm doing. I love that I can be myself around you and say whatever comes to mind (which happens quite frequently and not always in the most tactful way) and know that you won't judge me for it. I love the way you hold my hand. It's so secure and safe (if that's the proper word for it). I love the way you talk about your family, especially your brother. I know that it can't be easy for you to talk about someone that was close to you like that, but I'm glad that you do. I love the questions that you ask me (mostly because I suck at asking questions and I'm better at answering...most of them). I absolutely love that you take your priesthood and callings so seriously. I always swore up and down I'd never marry someone like my dad, but you have so many of the things that I absolutely love about him, like the way you honor your priesthood. With my dad, I know I never have to worry about whether or not he can give me a blessing because I know he always makes sure every single day that he is worthy, and I love that I feel that way about you too. I love feeling safe around you, because I know that you would never let anything happen to me or hurt me. I love that you are always making sure we're doing what is right and that we're not getting ourselves into situations that would get us into trouble. I love that look in your eyes that you get when you first see me in the morning. I love the way that you always let me know how grateful you are for me or how much I mean to you.


So this is to tell you what you mean to me. I'm so grateful for you. I know how far we've come and I honestly hope we get to go farther. I look back on it all, and I wouldn't change it for the world. All of that, that got me here. That experience helped me grow and learn. I think it did that for you too. I am so grateful that you decided to fight just when I had almost given up. I will always be grateful for the things that I've learned from you. I've never gone coyote calling...so that was new. As embarrassing as it was, it was so much fun to just be out there with you, getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, and scaring away anything that might possibly be coming in because I was laughing so hard. I've never had so much fun hiding from you, like when we were down in Sierra Vista for Jared's homecoming. It was so exciting to show up at church and surprise you! I will never forget that look on your face. It was a smile that I could never put into words. With you, I feel so happy and so safe. At the risk of sounding totally sappy, I never knew how much I was missing and how much someone else can make you realized what you're missing in yourself. 


I've had the time of my life fighting dragons with you...and I hope we get to fight many many more. 


So now the whole world...well really just Abbie and Kendra (but we'll go with the whole world--it sounds cooler) knows. And I feel like shouting it at the top of my lungs and writing it across every billboard. :]
Loveyou. <3