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Blah...I'm feeling not so bueno and I don't really want to do too much of anything. Okay I don't want to do anything. Period. I'm sick and tired of doing all the things that I have to do-like write a patho paper, do my homework, study for tests, pack up my apartment. I really just want these next 2 weeks to be over because then I am done and headed out to Texas! I don't know why I feel like everything is going to get so much easier, but I just feel like once this is over, I don't know...maybe I won't be such a crazy person anymore. I just don't want to do anything! It's horrible.

And to top it all off, it is so hard. Especially to try and be happy and be good. All the freaking time. It's so bloody hard and I just wish sometimes it would let up. We fight about the stupidest things and it's not even worth it. I'm sick and tired of dealing with school and the stress of a wedding and the stress of life all at the same time. I'm so done being an absolute b on birth control. If I wasn't so terrified of having an accident baby, I would probably quit taking it.

Oh and Dan decided he wants to do something else, not physical therapy, which, don't get me wrong, that's totally fine by me! I want him to do something that he absolutely loves because he's going to be doing it for the next 40 years or so. I hate that I have to be the biggest fan all the time though and the cheerleader to rally him and keep going. That sounds bad too. I just mean that I wish I wasn't the only one who would support him in his decisions. I hate being the only one. I hate having to be the rock that stays strong when I feel like I'm about ready to fall apart all the time.

That's another thing, I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my life. I seriously feel sometimes like I can't keep myself together or keep myself from falling apart. I saw this great quote over spring break and it said something to the effect of happiness being a choice. I'm trying really hard to live that, and some days it works, other days, not so much. Today is one of those not so much days. It's been a roller coaster. I started out in a grumpy mood, was in a happy mood at institute, then just ticked at devotional, finally pulling it together at the end and now I just don't know what I am. I'm a freaking one woman circus. I'm all over the place.

Let's add just one more thing. As of late, peach has not been too bad. We're pleasantly cordial, and that's more than I can ask. Today though, I'm just so sick of seeing peach all the time. It just makes me sick. I can't wait to get out of this town and delete them on facebook. (I know that sounds super petty, but really...that's what I feel like).

I know I'll miss it and all the great memories and friends I've made here, but right now, I just can't wait to get out. I can't wait to go through the temple and for everything to finally be real. To not have to worry about making it to the temple, but instead to worry about other things...things that we're completely in together. I swear these next couple weeks are going to DRAG ON FOREVER. Maybe I'll grow up, and pull my chin up and enjoy them. After all, this is the last time for a long time that we're probably going to be together. I shouldn't waste it.

CHECK IT OFF THE LIST

YESSIREE!! I FINALLY DID IT! I registered for classes at BYU. Seriously, I've been putting it off forever and mostly because I didn't want to and I couldn't figure out their dang website! I was cursing BYU for the last week and a half because their registration website is so anti-user friendly. It's awful. Like, they should probably consider writing an instruction manual to navigate it. Don't worry though, I figured it out. And now I'm all registered. Hollaaa!!

So...back when I said I was cursing BYU, I wasn't joking. Haha I told my parents this weekend that in retaliation, I was going to walk around campus in a University of Utah shirt.

They think it's quite possibly suicide. I like to live life dangerously. Bahaha.

So I met with Bishop today and now have a legit temple recommend!! Oh snap! Now it's just on to the stake president's interview and then to the temple!! Wahoo I'm soo excited!

Oh and Abbie finally came home from a forever long weekend!! We even had a welcome home party for her and we each had cute little signs with nice things written on them about her. Pretty much, she was scared to death and the look on her face was hilarious when we all yelled surprise as she opened the door. HIL-A-RI-OUS!

ANDDDD...on and even GREATER note: Dan got new glasses today. Let's just say he looks HOT. Oh man! Good thing we're getting married.

The funnies.

So there were two funnies in the last couple of days that I just feel the need to share. Mostly because they make me laugh when I think about them.

First of all, this weekend, Dan and I went home and were hanging out with my family. We were watching Bones (which by the way is a dang good show!) and the episode was about some guys supposedly getting killed by the chupacabra. I'm pretty sure Abbie is the only one who will appreciate that, but I was laughing pretty dang hard because that was our nick name for Guacamole for a while when he was being a major jerk face. So...it just made me laugh...and shake my head...a lot.

Second of all, yesterday Abbie asked me to turn in her English paper for her because she's in the valley for a couple of days and I told her yes of course! So I'm looking for this folder that she wants it put in to go turn in. I'm search the shelf, practically pulling everything off (and Abbie if you're reading this, I put it all back...no worries!) and I couldn't find it! So I called her and she was telling me what it looked like. Brown blue and green stripes. Well I still couldn't find it. So I grabbed a different one and turned in her paper. Well I get home, sit down on my bed, and you're never going to guess what is sitting on the floor right by my bed. Yepp the folder! Dan had used it the night before when he was writing out a work out plan! It was one of those moments that you just laugh but you're like YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Story of my life.

I'm noticing a pattern...these funnies usually happen when Abbie is around or in mind. POINT OF THE STORY: Abbie come home!!!!! Haha.

Let's end on a funny.
What did the cannibal get when he came home late?


The Cold Shoulder!

Bahahahahahahah....

The Expert Tanner

Meet Abbie. She is quite the expert when it comes to tanning, especially when she used a 7th dimension bronzer. Oh did I forget to mention she can't use bronzers because she doesn't rub it in all the way?

Exhibit A:

I hope she doesn't hate me for this. But I did tell her I was going to do it.

So Abbs went tanning today and I went along for the ride. She comes out afterwards and is marching...yes marching...straight for the door and she has the funniest look on her face. Well the first thing I noticed was how dark her legs were! DANGGGG GIRL! Then I noticed that she was red. I was dying laughing the whole way home. But man does that stuff work. So if you're looking for a great tanning lotion, use the 7th dimension bronzer with tingley stuff and pink blush stuff.

Ps. She is just very tan now. The reddness and splotchiness have faded...and she looks pretty even now. Lucky duck. Maybe I should use that stuff next time.

Pss. And one more thing. We started the biggest loser contest between our group of friends today. We all took measurements and weighed ourselves and we have the next 4 weeks to drop a few pounds. Shouldn't be too hard to find motivation. After all, I am to be "wedded" as Abbie would say, in exactly one month from today. Don't worry, I'm not excited or anything.

Collectively...we're pretty experienced

Three things in mind today...I'll give you short preview so you don't have to read the whole thing. 1. Abbie came home Friday freaking out about hcg. 2. my roommates and I had an interesting conversation about sex. 3. Dan is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

Abbie came home freaking out about hcg on Friday after her biology class. She's practically in a panic that she could potentially not have children because hcg can shut down your repo system. It was seriously hilarious because I was just waiting for something to come out saying that hcg was bad for you in some way, because in reality, anything that is that great and that much of a miracle weight loss drug...there has to be some sort of negative effect. Anyway, off my soap box, it was hilarious.

Sunday night, Nicole made the comment that Hope and Jodi told her to never get glow in the dark condoms because "then you see it coming at you swinging." Anyway, needless to say, the rest of the conversation was pretty freaking hilarious. It went all over the place...and it was so funny. We ended up sharing little bits of advice we've heard about what to do or not to do. Collectively...you'd think we're all pretty experienced.

So lastly, and I'm sorry if you don't want to read lovey dovey stuff...you should probably stop now and call this reading done. I love Dan. He was made for me. Yesterday was just not a good day, and I could blame it on a lot of things (namely birth control, $$ stress, and just general wedding planning stress) but that's not the point. The point is I was at my breaking point. I got a phone call from my mom. She told me my dress had gotten shipped to the wrong address, so they were making a new one and it wouldn't make it on time for my wedding. (Shit). Then she told me she was getting it made by someone else and it would be at my house by the end of the month. It was the point that it spilled over. I've been looking forward to trying it on for at least a couple of days now. I just started crying in the institute. I didn't even know what to do, because every little thing I cried harder. Dan finished filling out his home teaching reports and we came back to my apartment. He wanted to watch Tangled, so we popped some popcorn, put the movie in my computer, watched it on my bed. Now this is just one reaffirmation that he was made for me. He watched the movie and I just snuggled up next to him and fell asleep. We didn't have to talk about why I am an emotional wreck and crying all the time, he just loves me anyway and lets me sleep.

As much as he'd probably like to know exactly what I'm feeling, sometimes you just can't talk about it. It's not that you don't want to, you just can't. Maybe I'm crazy and the only one that feels that way. But I love him.

Its funny, we actually got in a fight today about something dumb (well it seems super dumb now) but he was pretty peeved at me for throwing water at him before he went to class. So it was all of this back and forth and blows below the belt, but I realized that I'm getting married to the most amazing person that I've ever met in 31 days. And forgive me for going all gospel right now, but Satan's going to do everything to prevent that. So SCREW YOU SATAN!! I'm walking out of the temple doors on May 13th and there's nothing he can do to prevent that. This is my choice. And it's for forever.

Stop trying to find my dirty underwear

So I had done my laundry (the whites) earlier yesterday and they were on my bed in a pile because I had pulled them out of the laundry and then jumped in the shower--we had just gotten back from an adventure down the canal. So my delicates weren't on parade, but they were sitting rolled up in my sheets, in a pile, on my bed.

Dan and I were sitting on my bed and I was folding the shirts and keeping the delicates in a secretive pile under my pillowcase. WELL...Dan, lovely Dan, starts pulling out the rest of my laundry from being twisted up in the sheets! My underwear was getting PULLED OUT FROM HIDING!! At first, he was embarrassed and said he didn't mean to do it...well then he started doing it just to mess around with me!

So I yelled at him to stop trying to find my dirty underwear! What's even funnier was that there were a few people over that were sitting in our living room....so they probably heard me. Because he refused to quit bugging me, I grabbed a handful and threw it at him. Haha. It was pretty funny...mostly because he was so shocked.

Earlier in the evening yesterday, we were at a meeting for EDGE, the company Dan is working for this summer. Kristi King was trying to use her husband, Shannon, as a footrest. Shannon said, "Dan and I do not have the same color of skin." Kristi, after pondering this for a second, responds, "He's not black!" Oh man...we were laughing so freaking hard. Haha they're hilarious.

This morning, Jacie came over and was talking to Abbie and I for a little bit. Tayler came by to see her and say hello, and Tayler saw Abbie's jeans hanging dry over the banister. He made the comment that whoever's jeans those were had no butt. So Jacie came back into our apartment and told us what he said. Abbie said she was offended. Then Jacie startes yelling out the window at him Tayler!!! TAYLER!!! (I said Jacie maybe if you yell louder he'll hear you) TAYLER!!!!!!!!! Well...he heard her. Haha.

She said, and I quote: Tayler! Abbie is offended you said she has no butt!  He shrugged his shoulders.

Pretty much, Jacie Ames is hilarious. Abbie...is just Abbie. and... Daniel Haban is the love of my life. End of story.

Great quote I heard yesterday:
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. --Winston Churchill

Mono. H.

I think it's back for round 2. GRRRRRREAT. Either that or the birth control makes me super tired all the time...particularly in the mornings. So as per my mother's orders...I'm on a strick 1030 curfew. Let's just say that last night it failed epically. I think it was 1145 when Dan actually left. So it's a work in progress.

My mom also said to exercise and so I went and worked out with Dan this morning....wow. I'm pretty sure I don't have the use of my legs right now. Oh well...hopefully they'll start to look good again. That would be nice.

And to add insult to injury, I got lit up like a roman candle yesterday after I went tanning. Holy crap my whole body just itches like crazy, but not the big ones, just the little annoying ones. But as soon as I scratch, my whole back just lights up and burns and itches. It sucks. Oh the price to be tan.

One more thing...I have a cancker sore on the inside of my lip! Seriously...my face is finally cleared up and now I've got all of this. Haha it could be worse right? Stress...it's great. Don't recommend it.

So last night was so fun. Egyptian ratscrew and Scum. Hilarious. I have the best friends. Not to mention that Raegan and Abbie were in a crazy mood yesterday (I'm having some serious deja vu right now) so everything was hilarious. And Jacie made no bake cookies. Man I forgot how good those are.

Anyway, life is grand. Can't complain too much about anything. Well I guess I could, but it would be severely pointless. You know, at one point I had a topic of interest to write about for this blog. But alas, it has escaped me. Oh well.

One more thing...yesterday the Baptists came by and were knocking on our door. Well Abbie and Rustin both didn't want to answer it, so I did. Well, let's just say I'm never answering the door again. Okay, it wasn't really that bad at all, but it was super funny, kind of awkward. They told me they were from the New Testament church and asked if I attended church regularly. I said yes. They asked which one. Cheerfully, I said oh that LDS church right there (across the canal). TURNING POINT OF CONVERSATION. The man looked at me and said well that's lovely. Can I leave you with a scripture? Of course I said. They were very polite, I couldn't say no. Well the scripture is Hebrews 13:8-9. I read it after they left and I gotta say...it doesn't really make too much sense to me. So if someone would care to explain that would be much appreciated. Anyway, they wished me a blessed afternoon and it was just peachy. The end.

Food for thought:
3 Nephi 26:11
"I will try the faith of my people."

There it is...written out very straightforward and plain. We're here to be tested and to have our faith tried. It's nice to know that at least He tells us flat out what's up.